Chapter 10 – Realization

After Jo left with the doctor, LeBeau got up and poured himself another cup of coffee. He grimaced as he took a sip, as the coffee was by now merely tepid. He smiled a bit, remembering how grateful they had been to get even a cold cup of ersatz coffee back during their time in the stalag. He recalled how both Newkirk and the Colonel were never seen without their mugs of coffee during the many long nights they had spent waiting and watching, taking comfort from each other and the mugs they clasped in their hands. Ah Pierre! How I want to sit with you again, simply drinking coffee and talking. Please recover your health soon mon frère...I miss you.

He quietly moved back to his seat, mindful of Mavis still asleep on the sofa. As thankful as he was to have survived the war, he vowed to never become complacent and take life for granted. He took seriously the lesson the war had taught him; namely, that life could drastically change either for the better or the worse in the blink of an eye. Or even further, that life could also unexpectedly come to an abrupt end in the blink of an eye.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. Movement from the sofa caught his peripheral vision and he quickly rose to check on Mavis. She sat up and looked at him blearily as he approached. "Louis? Where's...where's Jo?" She straightened suddenly and swung her legs down to the floor. "Peter! 'e's not...?" She couldn't bring herself to finish.

"No, chérie, no. Josephine has gone to see Pierre. The doctor allowed her to visit him for a short time." LeBeau sat next to Mavis and took her hand as he spoke soothingly to her.

Mavis shuddered in a sigh and lowered her head. "Oh thank God! 'e's still fightin' then. Thank God!"

"Oui chérie. I agree." LeBeau gestured to the table and then got up. "Let me get you some fresh tea. I will be but one moment."

Mavis nodded. "A spot o' tea would be marvelous Louis. Ta." She kept her head down, trying to hold back the tears that sprang fresh to her eyes.

LeBeau nodded in reply and stepped out the door. True to his word, he returned in just a minute. "The nurse will bring a fresh pot of tea as well as more coffee…oh chérie!" He noticed Mavis' distress and sat down to wrap a reassuring arm around her shoulders. "Chérie please do not cry. Pierre is as you say, still fighting. He is a strong one, your brother. I know, I have seen it."

"I...I know 'e is. I know 'e is Louis. I...just can't...'elp it." Mavis took the handkerchief LeBeau offered and quickly pulled herself together. "It's so...sad. Why can't 'e have a little 'appiness? It's like...like someone don't think 'e deserves a bit of good fortune. Somethin' always 'appens to make it 'ard for 'im."

LeBeau fully understood Mavis' words, colored as they were by her extreme distress at her brother's plight. He needed to make her understand one thing though. "Chérie, listen to me. You do realize that Pierre is a different person than he was before the war, no?"

Mavis nodded as LeBeau continued.

"When I first met Pierre he was not the man he is today. I did not trust him as far as I could throw him, if such a thing were even possible!"

Mavis smiled at that. "Yes 'e was a bit of a tough back then. It was from bein' tossed out onto the streets Louis! 'e 'ad to learn 'ow to survive some'ow!" She shook her head. "Of course it weren't the best or shall I say, the legal way most o' the time, I'm sure. 'e tried 'is best to provide for me the proper way but when 'e couldn't...well, 'e didn't let me know 'ow 'e got on most o' the time."

"It was probably for the best chérie." LeBeau took a deep breath. "Mavis, you must not feel sorry for Pierre. The time he spent as a prisoner most likely saved his life. When Colonel, I mean, General Hogan came to the camp, Pierre began to change. He became a different person, because the General expected it of him, as he did of all of us. Pierre has enormous respect for the General and it made him want to be a better man. It was not easy for him chérie, believe me. But he did it." He leaned in a bit closer to emphasize his words. "I trusted Pierre with my life then, as did André, Richard, Joe and the General. I still do. And look what he has accomplished since the end of the war. He has a wife who loves him dearly and two beautiful sons. No Mavis, do not pity mon ami. He has done what very few have. And he has much to live for. He will survive chérie! Trust me, he will survive!"

Mavis looked at LeBeau in amazement. "Yer so sure Louis! I wish I 'ad yer confidence."

LeBeau tightened his arm around Mavis' shoulders. "You will chérie. Wait and see. You will."

"I 'ope so Louis." She blew her nose and tried to tidy herself up. "You are right about Peter though. 'e did come back from the war quite different than 'e was before." She stared unseeingly at the opposite wall as she remembered when she had first noticed the difference in her brother. It was during a visit she had paid him as he was well along in the slow but successful recuperation from his first bout with pneumonia seven years earlier.

Her joy barely contained, Mavis entered Peter's room as quietly as possible. He was asleep; she really didn't want to wake him, but felt that she would burst otherwise. She reached over and gently shook his shoulder. "Peter? Peter! Wake up brother!" No response. She tried again. "Peter! Wake up! I've got news for ya!"

Peter groaned and turned onto his back. It took him a few minutes to get his eyes open. "M-Mave?"

Mavis nodded excitedly. "Clear yer 'ead Peter. I've got some news!"

Peter sat up and slowly shook his head. "What? What is it?"

"Listen Peter….it's 'itler! 'e's dead!"

Peter's eyes widened and he stared at his sister incomprehensibly. Had he heard her right? He cocked his head to the side and continued to stare at her in shocked silence.

Mavis took his hand and rubbed it briskly. "Didn't ya 'ear me Peter? 'e's dead! 'itler's dead! It's all over!"

Peter turned his head away and stared blankly out the window for several minutes. "I shoulda been wi' me mates," he whispered. "I shoulda been wi' me mates." He bowed his head, suddenly seized by deep emotion. Mavis, a bit puzzled by his reaction, leaned down and wrapped her arms around him. He repeatedly whispered "I shoulda been wi' me mates".

Mavis kissed him on the cheek and tasted salt on her lips. He raised his head and she was dismayed to see tears trailing down his face. She gently patted his back. "Don't concern yourself brother. You couldn't 'elp it ya got sick. Yer gettin' better Peter! Be thankful for that! You nearly died you know."

His brow wrinkled in a frown. "I…I…what? Was I really that bad off?" The Colonel's parting words rang in his mind. We can't risk losing you. This is the only way you're going to survive. Please don't fight me on this.

Mavis nodded sadly and choked back her own tears at the memory of what her brother had just endured. "Oh Peter, I was so scared. I didn't know what I was gonna do without ya!"

Peter blinked and suddenly reached out to his sister. "Oh Mave! I'm so sorry for puttin' you through this! For puttin' everyone through this…"

Mavis hugged him tight and whispered, "Peter ya dozy twerp! Like it was your fault!"

"It was my fault Mave. All my fault." He shuddered as he spoke.

Mavis drew back and frowned, confused by his comment. "Peter, it wasn't yer fault ya got sick!"

He nodded slowly. "Yes it was Mave. It was. But I 'ave no regrets. Me mates are safe. That's the only important thing. I'd do it all over again if I 'ad to."

Even though she had no idea what Peter was talking about, she saw that he was dead serious. She suddenly noticed that her brother was markedly different; he seemed to be more confident, more serious, more mature than he was before the war.

She shook her head as the memory faded, and then turned to look at LeBeau with a new perspective. "Thank you Louis, for 'elpin' Peter become the man 'e is today."

"Me chérie?" he was genuinely puzzled. "It was General Hogan, not me."

Mavis nodded. "Yes it was you. It was all of you. I realized a long time ago that 'e loves you all like the brothers 'e never 'ad. I'll always be grateful for what you've done for 'im."

"He took the initiative to change, Mavis. We all helped each other in one way or another. That was how we survived." A soft knock sounded at the door. "That must be the nurse with the tea." He got up to answer it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jo followed Doctor McFarland out the door and then paused. "Doctor? May I ask you a very pointed question?"

McFarland turned back to face her. "Of course Mrs. Newkirk."

"What is your honest opinion of Peter's condition? What is his chance of survival? Please, I must know exactly what you think."

McFarland sighed and looked down before he took Jo's hands in his own. "I am not usually so brutally honest with a patient's family. You as a nurse must know what I mean by that. I try to look on the bright side if at all possible. However, I must tell you that I will be very surprised if your husband lasts the week. I can't tell you how sorry I am. The effects of the filthy air coupled with the inherent weakness of his respiratory system due to the previous pneumonia may well have sealed his fate."

Jo lowered her head as McFarland continued, "However, I also must say that I've never seen a patient with his type of personality. I daresay your husband will not leave willingly nor easily. From what they told me occurred in the A&E, he appears to be quite the fighter. That may make all the difference, so do not give up hope just yet. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, I always say!"

"Thank you Doctor. I needed to know exactly where we stand." McFarland released Jo's hands and they walked back down the hall towards their waiting room. "And you are correct about my Peter; he will not go gentle into that good night."

"I am glad to hear that and I will keep that uppermost in my mind Mrs. Newkirk." They arrived at their destination and McFarland opened the door for Jo to enter the room.

Jo saw that Mavis was awake, and she asked the doctor to come in and inform both Mavis and Louis of his opinion on Peter's condition. Jo poured fresh cups of tea for them all and then took Mavis' hands in her own as McFarland repeated what he had told her. She felt Mavis shudder at the news and saw Louis wiping his eyes. McFarland ended with "I am so very sorry. I sincerely hope and pray that I am wrong for your sakes."

"Merci doctor. We do not need false hope, we need to know the truth."

McFarland shook his head. "Well it is the truth as I see it right now Mr. LeBeau. However, things could change. I would not give up hope if I were you."

It was LeBeau's turn to shake his head. "No! I will not give up hope. I know Pierre. He will not give up and neither will I."

McFarland extended his hand to LeBeau. "I am happy to see that my patient has the support he needs. I may have to revise my prognosis." He rose and headed to the door. "I shall keep you apprised."

"Thank you doctor!" Jo called as he walked out. She turned back to Mavis. "Mave, we need to make the most of our time. I don't know how long we shall be here. Would you mind heading back to the flat and picking up a few items for me?"

"I wouldn't mind at all Jo. What do you need?"

"Let me make you a list..."

As the two women talked, LeBeau scrounged through his pockets and finally found Air Marshal Roberts' card. He stood up and headed to the door. "Mavis, Jo, please excuse me for a little while. I need some fresh air."

"Oh yes Louis, I understand completely. Mave and I will be fine."

He nodded and quickly left the room, in search of a phone.