Author's note: Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! This one is back in Marnie's POV.

Chapter 10

I regain awareness suddenly; it's like I'm shoved back into my body, and the first thing I notice is that I'm standing in front of Curtis, Alisha, and Kelly. We're all dressed like complete twats and I quickly remember it's because we'd all been brainwashed.

I then realize that Simon and Nathan are conspicuously missing. "Where's Nathan?" I ask the others.

I'm answered by several shrieks and the sight of Alisha clamping her hands over her mouth; her eyes turn to saucers. I spin around hastily, and everything seems to slow down.

Its… Nathan. There, on the fence. He's – the fence – he's impaled on the fence. I – I just – I can't even comprehend…

The tears rush from my eyes faster than I can get to him. His body is elevated, completely still. Blood has seeped through the entire front of his white button up shirt and his arms are hanging limply, outstretched because of his position.

His green eyes are still open.

"Nathan!" I cry. I hold his head with my hands and desperately search his face from upside-down for some sign of life.

He's dead. "No," I chant in desperation, "No, this can't happen! He can't die! He can't! Please, someone call an ambulance!"

I grab Curtis almost rabidly. "You have to go back!" I order, "You have to go back in time, you have to stop this from happening! He can't die! Not him, please, just not him!"

His eyes search mine, holding a mixture of sadness and sympathy. He, too, looks as if he is on the verge of tears. "I – I can't," he stutters helplessly. "I don't know how it works…"

"Then what's the point of you!" I hiss venomously, shoving him away from me. I run back to Nathan and sob pathetically. I don't even care anymore. I don't care about anything or anyone. People can pity me, people can think I'm weak. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. All that matters is Nathan is gone. Nathan is dead. And I – and I –

Kelly drags me away from the sight and forces me into an embrace as my body shakes hysterically. She, too, is sobbing. "Nathan," I mumble into her shoulder. "It's – it's not supposed to be like this…"

"Shh." She's rubbing my back comfortingly, but I just can't accept what's happened. There has to be a way – there's always a way! Maybe there's someone – maybe there's someone out there who can bring people back from the dead. Maybe it's not too late, maybe Curtis will figure out how to control his power. Please. Someone please. Someone needs to help me. It can't be like this. What's the point of these powers if they can't do anything good? There has to be a way… Nathan, not him, not out of everyone. It's not supposed to be like this. It can't happen like this. He can't die.

xOx

I go to his wake after everyone else had left. I – I want to see him alone, one last time. I know it will be hard, but I just need to see his face, to remember him in some other context then how I'd seen him… before. The fence – that fucking fence – I would never get the image out of my mind. But the least I could do was go to see him. To go and… say goodbye.

Before I can gather the strength to actually look at him, I kneel in one of the pews for what was probably the first time since I'd made my first communion. Please, God, I pray, I know I haven't been the best Christian or Catholic or whatever I am, but please just can you listen to me? I know Nathan wasn't exactly the best Christian or Catholic or whatever he is, either, but he had a good heart. He might have (probably) broken every commandment, but he didn't deserve to die. What he did – he was just trying to save us. He really wasn't a bad person. So I know this is stupid and I know it's probably impossible, but if you could just please find a way to bring him back – any way at all – I will be indebted to you forever. I will go to church and try to live well and all that. I'm not making any huge promises, but I will definitely re-evaluate my life. And if you can't bring him back, can you at least make sure that he doesn't go to hell? Put in a good word or something? Thank you. Amen.

I open my eyes and take a deep breath in preparation for walking over to the casket. Praying was actually strangely cathartic.

I reach the open coffin and see him lying there, his arms neatly arranged by his sides. Not over his chest, like they usually do. His chest. Where he'd been –

I swallow the lump in my throat but can't stop the tears from gathering in the corners of my eyes. A few drip down my cheeks and form small wet marks on his white t-shirt. I briefly wonder why they haven't dressed him in something more formal, but quickly come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter in the slightest. I like him like this. It's more fitting. It's what he would have wanted.

His face is calm and peaceful. His eyes are closed, now, and his complexion is ashen.

I feel the urge to stroke his hair and I don't fight. There's no harm in it, and no one's around.

I always loved his hair. It was so unruly, so chaotic, so full of life. It was like his personality. It suited him perfectly.

He's so… still. The last time I'd seen him so still was when he was asleep on my sofa. I sniff at the memory, unexpectedly affected by it. "Nathan," I whimper, "Why did you have to do this?"

I let my gaze linger on his face for a little while longer, before pressing a soft kiss to his forehead and walking out of the church.

xOx

The funeral is the next day. It's not as hard as the wake had been, mostly because I can't actually see him and gravity of the situation is lost in the sound of an organ and a priest's voice. I sit by Kelly, Alisha, Curtis, and Simon, who are all understandably somber.

When it comes time, we walk to the graveyard.

The tears flow freely as they begin to cover his coffin with dirt, and Simon puts his arm around me as Kelly holds my hand.

They all seem to know that this is ruining me.

We linger after the others have gone, just staring into the soft earth. How has this happened? How has it come to this? Why him, why him out of everyone?

Simon tightens his grasp on my shoulder, and, when he does, I am suddenly transported back into his memories. I see Nathan on the rooftop; he's holding my hand, and I'm trying to pull him back. But my hands are slippery. "Save me, Barry!" he shouts. Then he falls. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt.

I flinch and snap my head to look at Simon, my eyes searching his. He returns my gaze, aware of what I have just seen. I turn my attention back to the ground.

"We should go celebrate," Alisha says abruptly.

I feel everyone's eyes shift to her, but I can't bring myself to look away from his grave.

"Not celebrate like 'Woo, I'm so happy,' but just like, you know…" she clarifies, frustrated. "Can we just go for a drink?"

They start to file away in a procession of black, but I can't bring myself to move my feet.

"C'mon, Marnie," Kelly says softly.

I finally look up from the ground. "You guys go ahead," I say, my voice hoarse, "I think I'm just gonna… Head home."

"No, you should come wit' os," she says firmly.

I furrow my brow and look at the others, only to see that they're all eyeing me strangely. As if – as if they think I might do something stupid. Do they think I'm that weak? Do they think I was in love with him or something?

Was I in love with him?

No, I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him.

Right?

It doesn't matter now, I suppose.

I give in eventually and we go to a club, of all places.

There's dubstep playing, a strobe light flashing, and people are dancing and making out. It's like a living hell.

We all sit in a small circle. The boys are drinking beers, and I'm drinking vodka straight. Simon raises his bottle and toasts, "To Nathan." We all put our glasses together and I throw my head back as I take the shot. With a wince, I swallow the burning liquid.

Suddenly, I can't bear to be here anymore. The lights, the noise, it's all too much. I'm experiencing a sensory overload. All I need is a quiet night, alone. I want to be alone.

I stand up abruptly. "I'm gonna go," I announce.

"You should stay," Alisha tries.

"No, I really need to leave," I say, running my hands through my hair anxiously. "I'll see you on Monday." I don't give them a chance to protest.

With that, I flee the blaring music and make it outside.

As I'm on my way home, I hear a pitter-patter against the watery cobblestone road and sense someone walking behind me. I turn around quickly to see Simon.

"What are you doing here?" I ask shortly.

"You saw, didn't you? You saw what happened?"

"Yeah."

"I tried to save him, I really did," he insists earnestly. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right. It's not your fault." I can't really stand to dwell on what I saw any longer.

He swallows heavily and takes a CD out of his coat pocket. He hands it to me and says, "I made this for you."

"What is it?"

"Just watch it," he says before walking in the opposite direction.

xOx

When I get home, I change out of my black dress and take off my ruined makeup. Then, I lay down on my bed. I take out my shitty laptop and put the CD Simon gave me into the drive.

The fan on the old computer runs noisily, but pretty soon QuickTime opens and sad music starts playing.

A close-up image of Nathan's face flashes across the screen and instantly I feel a prickling in the back of my eyes and a painful ache in my heart.

It's the time when he stole Simon's phone and kept saying, "He's tryin' to kiss me!" I hear my own voice in the background, followed by a slapping noise and Nathan yelling "Ow!" I can't help but chuckle through my tears.

Then, there's another clip of him showing his ballsack picture to everyone. Followed by him calling us all shitheads.

It goes to a montage of him doing a variety of stupid things, including riding a shopping cart down the ramp at the community center. God, I miss him already.

There's a clip of him slapping my arse and running away swiftly before I have the chance to hit him. I grin at how offended I look in the video.

I have never felt so amused and devastated at the same time.

When it's over, I close the screen, wipe the tears from my eyes, and fold my hands on top of the computer. Please, God, I pray again, please let him come back.

Author's note: So there you go, I hope you like it! Please review :-)