A/N: Okay my peeps here is the next chapter I hope you enjoy. Oh, and I would like to thank once again my amazing beta pyrena93. Mwah, love ya. Thanks so much for all your help, you are the best.
Chapter Ten – Coming Undone
She had been lying on the bed for at least a couple of hours now. She didn't want to open her eyes, which were now red and swollen from crying, but she needed to go the bathroom. Finally she pushed herself off the bed and made her way in to the small bathroom connected to her room. She had tried, God help her she had, but she couldn't make the thoughts go away, and the pain seemed like it was going to consume her. Her mind kept telling her it was the right thing to do, to leave him before he went back to Jean anyways yet her heart was still screaming that she made a mistake. She had finished washing and drying her hands, had closed the door to the bathroom, and went to retake her place back on the comfy king size bed, when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart stopped beating, as hopes of Scott standing in front of her when she opened it telling her it was only her he loved flooded her mind. Coming to her senses she shook the images out of her head. Jean would be here by now, there was no way it could be him. No, they were probable lost in one another arms right now, she told her self as she wiped the now fresh tears off her face and walked to the door. When she opened it, she found the one person in the world she thought she would never see again standing before her. Sure, she had known that he was coming, but with Logan you never could count on him actually being there until he was physically standing in front of you. Without a word, Marie moved aside and let him in before shutting the door.
"Hey, Kid." Logan finally said as he reached up and brushed a stand of her white bangs from her drained and puffy face. Even with her face wet and swollen, she was still the most beautiful creature he had ever set eyes on, and she was his. She knew it, he knew it and it was only a matter of time before she came to him.
Memories came rushing back and the old feelings mixed with all the emotions she was dealing with already where now overwhelming her. It was Logan, the one she had thought she had lost forever, the one person she had dreamt of being with for most of her life, her first love, her own personal hero. Sure, even considering the fact that she hadn't seen or talked to him in over four years, she still did, and probably always will, think of him as one of her best friends. God, how she had missed him. Maybe if he had stayed she wouldn't be going through this pain right now, because she would still be waiting for him to return the love she had always so freely given to him. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to ask him questions about that night, why he was so quick to leave her, she wanted to ask him what the hell had happened, why he was finally here with her, why he didn't call or write in the four years he was away. Yet her mouth wouldn't move. All she could bring herself to do was cover her face as she started crying again. This was too much. Too much too soon, and all she wished at that moment was that she could fade away into nothing so that she didn't have to feel anything anymore.
Then his arms were around her, holding her, and she could feel his warm breath in her ear as he whispered sweet nothings to her, letting her know it would all be ok, that he was here now, and that he would never leave her like that again. Still, all she could do was cry, and she felt her self being lifted from the floor and the next thing she knew she was lying on her bed with her head resting against his chest as he stroked her hair doing his best to comfort her. And it was working; it wasn't long before she drifted into the darkness of sleep that she so desperately needed only to have the worst nightmare she could ever have.
"I don't understand why? Why Scott, why can't you stay?" Marie screamed at him as he packed his bags. Marie, feeling weak in the knees, then sat in the chair behind her to hold her head in her hands as she let her tears finally flow. Dear God, he is really going to leave me, she thought to herself. She couldn't think, she couldn't see, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't feel anything but the pain. It was as if the rest of her body had gone numb. It really did feel as if her heart were breaking. She was literally having pains in her chest that seemed to keep growing with the sobs she made, and all she could do was sit there and cry. He was leaving her, he was really leaving and she knew he was never coming back to her.
"Please, Scott, please don't leave me. . . You can't, I love you. . . I can't live without you; please. . . I promise I will do anything. I promise you, anything . . . Scott… Please. . . " Marie pleaded as she rose to her feet and walked over to him and took his face in her hands, only to start putting small kisses on his cheeks in between her pleas. She didn't care if she was begging him; she would kiss his feet if he asked her to, anything to make him stay. "We promised forever, Scott. Remember?" she whispered into his ear as she hugged him to her as if to try and make him stay by force but he carefully unwrapped her arms from him and put them to her sides.
Scott then laid his arms on Marie's own and looked her in the face, before he began to speak. "Rogue, I can't stay with you anymore, you know that. I'm not in love with you, at least not the way you want me to be. Jean is the one I want. I'm sorry. I have to go. I do care about you and I always will, but I love her." With that said Scott let her go and grabbed the three bags he had packed off the bed and walked briskly through their small room and out the door.
Hearing the door close shut Marie dropped to her knees and then fell to the floor.
"No don't go…" She screamed sat up straight, waking up to the same pain and tears that had just consumed her dream. Then she felt his hand on her shoulder, oh thank God, it had all been a dream, a horrible terrifying dream.
"Marie, darlin' you ok?" Logan asked as he pulled himself up to sit beside her resting a loving hand on her shoulder only to slide it down and rub her back.
With the sound of his voice alone she would have known that it was Logan's and not Scotts hand on her shoulder but the word dralin' was what truly made her realize that it wasn't a dream. That the nightmare she'd had was true, well most of it anyways. And with the realization came a renewed flow of tears down her puffy red cheeks as she turned and buried her face in Logan chest and let his strong arms hold her again. "No… I'm not… I'm not ok… Logan… No where close to it."
"I know darlin'…. I know..." Logan said without hesitation, because he did know. He knew her little secret; he could hear its heart beating along with theirs as she had slept. And he after the way she had awoken just now with the words "don't go" on her lips, he also knew the reason she had been so upset when he came into the room. She was probable terrified that when he found out he would leave her again. Yet as much as it hurt, he wasn't going any where. He wouldn't leave her, not this time. He needed her too much, and it took having her as his own and then losing her to figure that out. So now that he had her back in his arms he was going to make fucking sure that was where she was going to stay.
"No Logan you don't, there's no way you could…" Marie started to ramble as she pushed herself off the bed and started to pace in front of the bed Logan was still sitting on.
"You're pregnant," Logan stated without pause, bringing Marie to a dead stop. "Enhanced hearing remember… and add the sound of an extra heartbeat in the room to the brilliant news of your little mission with the boy Wonder Wheels told me and Jean about, plus you posing as his wife… not to mention his smell is all over you… It was pretty easy to figure out. It's also pretty fucking clear the Dick is the kid's father," he declared to her with a little more hurt in his voice than he would have liked.
"Logan I…I didn't mean," Marie said with a voice as shaky as her knees were. She could hardly breathe. It was true, she was pregnant and up until now she had been able to put everything concerning the baby she was carrying to the back of her mind. How she was going to tell Scott she was pregnant? How would he react to the news? How this baby would affect his life now that Jean was back … for that matter should she even tell him at all? Her eyes were once again filled with tears. And on top of all that Logan knew, and it hurt him she could see it so clearly in his eyes.
"Marie stop…" Logan cut her off as he slid off the bed and walked to stand in front of the woman who had haunted his every dream for the past four years. With one hand he brushed back her hair as he used his other to steady her by resting it on her upper left arm. "You don't owe me any kind of explanation… or apologizes especially after way I treated you and then just left the way I did. Look Kid, you know better than anyone I'm not good with all this emotional crap but I realized something while I was gone. And that is…. You are the only thing in this world I can't live without."
Marie lower her forehead to rest on his chest. Two maybe even three years ago she would have killed someone to hear Logan say something to her like the words he had just spoken, which was most likely the closet Logan would ever get to saying I love you. But now, now she just didn't know how to react. She was married to Scott, she was carrying his child, and even though right now she hated to admit it, she was in love with him. Yet, still this was Logan, the man she had spent more than a decade of her life loving.
Laying his chin atop her head, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace as he breathed in the scent of her hair.
"Did you know its past lunch already and I bet you didn't even eat anything for breakfast?" After feeling her shaking her head no against his chest confirming his accusations, he rubbed her upper arms with his hands and took a step back as he caught her eyes with his own. "Well then we need to get something in you so that you and your little passenger don't starve to death." Looking down at the place her abdomen was sheltering her baby, Logan couldn't help but vision the sight of Marie lovingly embracing her new born child. Gradually he let his left hand slid down the length of her arm until the palm of his hand rested over the spot that would soon be extended with child. Keeping his eyes focused on his hand as he lightly moved his fingers across her, he asked the question he was almost certain to which the answer was no. "Have you told him yet?"
"No… I … I only found out a couple of days ago." She said as she watched the way his fingers slowly graze over her lower abdomen. She loved that he was so accepting, so loving with her and her unborn child but still, it broke her heart that Logan was the one she was sharing this moment with and not Scott.
It was a little past two in the afternoon, but thanks to the curtains being drawn it could have been two in the morning considering how dark it was in the room. Scott had been sitting on the edge of the bed holding his head in his hands feeling sick to his stomach for a good five minutes now. Finally he lifted his head slowly, his eyes shifted to focus on the sliver wedding band wrapped around the ring finger of his left hand. Reluctantly Scott turned his head and gazed upon the naked body of the woman he had once said was the only woman he could ever love, sleeping tangled in the satin light blue bed sheets. He loved her, he had missed her more than he could ever put into words, but this was wrong. Everything about today had been all wrong starting with the call the Professor had made at one this morning, all the way up to his and Jeans intimate reunion. Hell, just 36 hours ago Marie had been the naked woman tangled in the bed sheets and sleeping peacefully beside him, just a mere 15 hour ago he had been a happily married man who couldn't wait to get home to his wife. Yet here he sat in a ritzy hotel in the middle of New York City at 2 o'clock in the afternoon with a woman beside him who seemed more like a stranger now than the person he had spent most of his life loving.
He reached down, grabbed his blue jeans, and slipped them on as he made his way out of the room. Looking around the bright living room, it took Scott's eyes a moment to adjust to the harsh light of the room, or maybe it was the harsh truth of what it was he had just done that was hitting him. Following the light to where in poured into the room, Scott wondered out on to the balcony and looked out over the city as he recalled the events of what had happened only a few nights ago.
He had walked in the door to find his wife leaning against the arm of the couch facing the door with a gown that was as transparent as her intentions. The sides that hung only just above her knees were split clear to her hips, revealing more leg than she'd ever shown to anyone, with the exclusion of Scott. It was made of thin, soft sliver silk, sleeveless, the bodice in a deep V, the straps mere ties that could be undone easily.
"You look- beautiful," Scott had remembered saying as he shut the door behind him. It wasn't quite the words he wanted to use, but he couldn't think of anything else after laying his eyes on her. He had been standing in front of her within moments, taking a lock of her long hair in his hand only to let is slid through his fingers.
"Absolutely beautiful," he repeated as his mouth went dry from the nearness of her. He drew her eyes up to his own gaze and the look in the big brown eyes, so admiring, warmed him even more. He dipped his head down to kiss the curve of her neck and all he could think of was how even the smell of her was thrilling to his senses. He found himself staring at her mouth, almost willing her to kiss him, knowing how wonderful her lips felt against his. How kissing her seemed to give him some kind of unexplainable peace. Then, with a small pull of the ties on her shoulders, the thin silk pooled at her feet.
"We will have to buy you more of those," he said with a husky voice as a hand moved up her chest to rest on the curve of her neck. "Many more." Then he raised both hands to cup her cheeks. " Do you know how much you mean to me?" He asked her softly, truly wondering if she knew how much. If she any idea.
"Why don't you show me," Marie answered him in a mere whisper. And no sooner than she said it, he was kissing her, lovingly kissing her. Parting her lips, his tongue dancing with hers. He moved closer as she gripped at the shirt that kept her from exploring his chest. He then lifted her in his arms, carried her to the bed and laid her gently there, dinner forgotten.
Suddenly his mind was ripped away from one of the memories he would always hold dear as he heard Jeans voice from behind him.
"Scott, what are you doing out here?" She questioned as she raise her hand to cover her eyes as the sun shined into them.
Scott couldn't bring himself to look at her, much less answer her question, especially after just having made love to her only to come out here and fantasize about another woman. So he did the only thing he could do and changed the subject all together. "Are you sure you want this again?"
"Want what again, Scott?" Jean asked, confused by his question. She was tempted to use her telepathy to understand what it was he was saying but she knew he would explain on his own. With the bed sheet now wrapped around her and posing as her clothing, Jean walked up behind him and started lying kisses on his bare back.
"You and me…" he said in almost a whisper. It was a little upsetting to talk about a future with Jean when he was still married to another woman
"Why wouldn't I want to be with you?" She said as she stepped to around him and slid herself between him and the rail of the balcony. "Scott, I know we had our problems. But… after everything that has happened I know now you are the only man for me. We were made for each other," she finished in a whisper as her lips melded themselves to his.
Scott was slow to respond to her kisses at first but with a little persuasion from Jean he became a willing participant as their lips and hands started to wander each other bodies.
From there, a young woman with platinum streaks backed away slowly from the scene on the balcony she had stumbled upon in her quest for food.