What I Wanted

Chapter 10: The Letter

Summary: sasuxsaku She weaved her bloody fingers in his. "We won't tell, will we?" "No, we won't, Sakura." This is our story, Sasuke's and mine.

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"There was never an us."

Suddenly, he raises the kunai that he has been sharpening. In the light filtered through the window, I see that it is inscribed with two interlocked S's.

And he stabs me in the heart.

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The pain sears through my entire body. My eyes start to glaze over, but I fight back the urge to sleep.

"Why…" I ask softly between gasps of pain.

Sasuke's eyes are unmoving, but a tear cascades down to his chin.

"Because I couldn't do anything else for you."

He sharply pulls the weapon out of my body, but the pain remains. Droplets of blood mixed with tears fall to the stone floor with an echoing splash.

"Sasuke-kun… the clan…"

"Sai will take care of that."

"Sasuke-kun… us… never…"

My breath comes slowly and painfully now. I put a hand to my chest and manage to heal the wound slightly before a new onslaught of pain takes over me. I drop to my knees into the growing puddle of crimson. Hearing my struggle, Kabuto steps into the room.

"Orochimaru will be proud, Sasuke-kun," he croons.

"Get her out," Sasuke commands bitterly.

"Sasuke… Sasuke…" I gasp. "Sasuke… I…"

He looks down at me. For once, his midnight black eyes look human. Using an enormous amount of energy, I smile.

"Sasuke-kun… I never… loved you…"

The involuntary tears slowly trickle down his face.

"Because… friends are… forever." I can't stop smiling. I want Sasuke to remember me as a happy, beautiful girl, not as a mangled, bloody shinobi.

Sasuke looks away and Kabuto takes me roughly by the arms. With every amount of chakra I have left, I struggle to repair my broken heart. Kabuto throws me into the forest.

He smirks. "You were always Sasuke's weakness."

I lie on the ground, gasping for air. I know I can die here… until I remember Sai's words to me.

"Promise me, when he gets revenge, read my letter."

The letter… I have to read it…

I grab onto Kabuto's pant leg just as he is retreating. I just need… a little…

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"If you can stream chakra into a body, isn't there a way to extract chakra?" I ask my medic sensei, Tsunade, curiously.

She looks at me in shock and bows her head.

"Never mind," I say, smiling.

"No, Sakura. There is a way."

"Hm?"

"The Life Charge."

"How?" I ask curiously.

"Don't use it. You may feel strong for an hour or two, but after that chakra high, your body cells will rapidly degenerate."

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Sorry, sensei. I have to be selfish one more time.

Feeling the high amount of chakra pumping through his body, I use all my remaining strength and will to hungrily extract the energy from his leg. I use the same method as giving chakra to a body, but in reverse mode.

Kabuto cries out in surprise. "The Life Charge… How…" He faints from sudden chakra loss, but I know he's too strong to die.

The strength and warmth surges back into my body. One hour…

Desperately, frantically I put my newly acquired chakra to good use, arriving in Konoha just as the sun is sinking behind the mountains. I stumble through the darkening forest. I have to make it…

Blood splatters from my mouth, but I rebelliously continue my trek onwards. Finally… the clearing. It is just as beautiful as on the day that I came with Sai. Untouched, innocent, tranquil…

The tree…

I step onto the moist soil and feel around for the right spot. Here. Perfect. My figure is silhouetted in the moonlight, and suddenly, it feels like that unforgettable day of my childhood.

I remember the blood of that day… the desperation… the stench of death. Except today, it's the aroma of my oncoming death… it's my blood… and it's only my desperation.

My rapidly weakening fingers dig deep into the soft, cold soil. After much roaming, they finally find the hard and welcoming surface of the tube.

Quickly, I guide my trembling hand into the cylinder to extract the letters.

The chakra rush is quickly depleting. I have to read the letter… I have to know the truth… Fighting the angel of death, I sink down, leaning my back against the tree as support. With my strength-deprived hands, I unsteadily unfold Sai's paper. Using all the sanity left in my mind, I read his neat print.

Sakura-chan,

My name is Uchiha Sai. I am the cousin of Uchiha Sasuke. My family was a branch family of the Uchiha clan, so we were shunned as outcasts. Even though the clan thought we were weak, Sasuke's brother and mine were extremely close. When I was almost nine, my brother worked together with Uchiha Itachi to kill the entire clan, except for Sasuke and me. However, unlike my cousin, I took revenge right away and killed my brother that same night. No one outside the clan knew of my identity, so I hid it.

Sakura-chan, I liked you a lot, but I knew I would lose to someone of the main Uchiha family, so I retreated once I realized you cared only about Sasuke. If Itachi is dead now, please say congratulations to Sasuke. If you are reading this letter, meet me under this tree tomorrow afternoon at three. I will come everyday until I meet you again.

Uchiha Sai

The missing piece… I've finally found it.

I never loved either Uchiha. Sai was only a friend and teammate, Sasuke was only a weakness and attachment. Happiness and love were only illusions.

My breath is barely existent now. I've come to the end. Even the pain is just an overwhelming numb feeling. My eyes close. I smile. It all makes sense… It's all okay now… It will all be right when I wake up…

Sasuke-kun… congratulations.

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Sai stands over the body of his blood-stained pink-haired teammate. Her eyes are closed softly in a peaceful, wakeless sleep. He kneels down and takes the blood splattered letter from her limp hand. Recognizing his own handwriting, he ignites it, letting the ashes fall down to the ground.

"Sakura-chan, it's all okay now," he whispers to the sky.

Only the summer breeze greets his words.

He smiles.

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Notes: IT'S OVER IT'S OVER IT'S OVER :O

Thank you everyone for reading faithfully to the end. I know the ending resolves almost NOTHING, but I like it for some reason XD I'm sorry if it's contradicting of the previous chapters or the manga, but it's really the best I could do. I'm gonna miss writing this fic D:

Again, thank you to all reviewers and readers for all your support throughout all ten chapters!