This was going to be uploaded yesterday, but the Internet at my work was down during the majority of my hours, so I didn't get much done, but here I am! Oh my goodness. XD I hope you're ready for this chapter! This is also the first time that I don't really have to use a lot of fighting in this, other than Johnny doing paper-rock-scissors with Scorpion and Sub-Zero. You'll see why. XD
NaruHinaLuvr: I do adore Scorpion and Jin as well. :) They're both attractive, even though Jin is gay. :P
xMK Warriorx: Good riddance! XD You really love that chapter, don't you? :) Be careful with this one now!
Guest: It is possible for him to be back. Quan Chi is Boon's second favorite character. :P
MikuHatsuneLove: I know, I know, your Liu Kang is coming. :) I can't wait for you opinion in this one! ^_^
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Raiden: Are You Smarter than a Revenant?
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At the Sky Temple, there stands a rather overweight man who sat down on a bench, and started to twist the lid from his bottle of alcohol. He looked serious, but there was a hint of worry as well. He checked his watch, and started to get impatient.
"I swear, if you don't hurry your slow ass up, I won't—" To his right, Raiden appeared, and lowered his hand from summoning lightning to teleport him here. The overweight man got up with a big grin.
"Raiden! Raiden my old friend!" he exclaimed, his voice sounding an awful lot like Sub-Zero and Reptile. Raiden went to the man, replying to him, shaking each other's hand, and then for some reason arm,
"Master Bo' Rai Cho. I am pleased to see you. It's been eighty-four years." Bo' Rai Cho raised an eyebrow at the Thunder God.
"Um... Not that long, but we old warriors need to stick together, eh?"
"Most certainly. I presume recent circumstances precipitate your arrival?"
"Yes, yes. I'm concerned that Shinnok may return," Bo' Rai Cho replied. "I've been trying to contact you through Twitter and phone, but you didn't respond. I feared the worst." Raiden nodded in agreement.
"When Kano misappropriated Shinnok's amulet, he left a snare while I was watching that terrible Johnny Cage movie with Fujin. Disabling it required that I travel to many strange realms..." The Thunder God paused, directing the Outworlder inside the temple. "There was one where everyone we all knew was different genders, like Johnny Cage is Johanna Cage, and then there was one realm that relies on stripping instead of kombat. Either way, I must retire to the Jinsei Chamber. Regain my strength."
"You are close to recovering it, then? Shinnok's amulet?" the Outworlder asked, almost at the chamber with Raiden.
"I do not know. I've been busy entering almost everyone's flashbacks. Disabling Kano's snare demanded my full attention. Once I am rejuvenated, I will confer with General Blade."
"If only we could have destroyed that spoiled Elder God during the last war. If only he were mortal." Even though Raiden didn't reply, he agreed with Bo' Rai Cho and when the two made it to the entrance to the chamber. Raiden used his electrified hand to side the doors opened. When the Outworlder looked at the Jinsei Chamber in all of its glory, he looked pleased. He walked forward along with Raiden. "Such beauty. Like gazing upon the Elder Gods themselves."
"I hold out hope that we can turn this crisis to our advantage." Bo' Rai Cho looked at the Thunder God.
"How so?" he asked.
"Quan Chi's magic binds the souls of many we hold dear," Raiden stated. "Capture him, and we can force him to release them."
"Liu Kang and Kung Lao restored? I suppose it's possible..." The Outworlder turned to look at Raiden.
"As long as Quan Chi lives," Raiden replied. He looked down with his eyes closed, a frown escaping his lips. He looked at the Outworlder sentimentally. "I've long regretted losing our comrades' souls to Netherrealm's evil." He crossed his arms and sighed. "Kung Lao and Liu Kang... They were like sons. I would move the Heavens to bring them back to the light."
"Why must you say that when Quan Chi just died?" a voice behind them said. The two turned around to see a teenage girl, who is wearing a shirt with a dragon symbol on it, with skinny jeans and combat boots. Raiden looked confused, the same can be said for Bo' Rai Cho.
"Is that your kid?" the Thunder God asked. The Outworlder scoffed.
"No, do you see me? A woman wouldn't sleep with me!"
"I see." Raiden sighed, looking at Bo' Rai Cho's drink. "Mind if I have a sip of that? It should help me loosen up and regain my energy." The Outworlder shrugged, giving the bottle to the Thunder God. He took a sip of it and gave it back to the owner and the latter watches the Thunder God head into the core of the chamber.
"It's a shame that he might have hallucinations," Bo' Rai Cho said to himself. The teenage girl from earlier watched Raiden healing up.
"So, do you want to prank Raiden while he goes through a flashback?" she asked.
"Sure!" Bo' Rai Cho replied. The two got their phones to plan something, while Raiden rests up and enters his flashback.
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Back in Outworld for the umpteenth time, twenty-five years ago, Raiden, Kung Lao, and Liu Kang watch the multiple butterfaces carrying bald monks into the ironically same ship on the same kove.
"It is as Master Bo' Rai Cho said," Lao stated. "The Shaolin masters are aboard that ship."
"Bo Rai Cho said two—oh my God, Kung Lao, we're back!" Liu said excitedly. "We're not revenants anymore!" Lao noticed this two and gave each other a brotherly hug. Raiden sighed and shook his head, wishing it was true.
"No you're not, Liu Kang. This is a flashback." The two Shaolin warriors pull away from their friendly hug and groaned.
"Damn it!" he complained, getting back into his spot beside Raiden.
"The other ship has disembarked," Raiden said. "We need to determine its destination."
"They will talk. I will see it," Lao added, glaring at the butterfaces. Liu looked at him and replied,
"No extraordinary means, Kung Lao." The latter looked at him.
"They raided the Wu Shi Academy. Kill Master Wen and made the victims hold up signs saying inappropriate things!" Raiden raised his eyebrows, curious on what Lao meant with inappropriate things, but regardless, he said to him,
"Even with Tarkatans, there are boundaries we do not cross."
"Yes, Lord Raiden."
"I still cannot believe Shao Kahn would order such a brazen attack," Liu replied.
"It demonstrated Earthrealm's vulnerability," Raiden explained. "Shao Kahn knew we would have no choice but to agree to a new tournament. I still think it was ridiculous that they want this again."
"Liu Kang defeated Shang Tsung," Lao said to Raiden, looking at the view afterwards. "He will beat Shao Kahn, hopefully if he doesn't spam his arrow and hammer attacks."
"In good time, Kung Lao. First we free the Shaolin." The three sneakily went forward to the kove where the Tarkatans were abusing the Shaolin by punching their heads, knocking them out. D'Vorah walked up to Baraka, whose teeth were so huge; it was obvious to determine which one's him.
"All are aboard?" she asked Baraka. "This One leaves with the tide."
"We are ready," Baraka replied.
"Shao Kahn demands the hostages be unharmed."
"Their wounds aren't fatal. Hell, I'm not even hungry to eat one of them!"
"I would hope, Baraka. For your sake."
"For yours as well," Raiden said, walking up to them with Liu and Lao.
"Lord Raiden, I thought we were going to do a surprise attack on them," Lao said. When the Thunder God stopped, so did the two behind him.
"It would take longer for the flashback to end," Raiden noted. He addressed to D'Vorah and Baraka, "If you harm them, you answer to me." Baraka let out a battle cry, commanding the butterfaces to attack the three. Raiden dodged awesomely and punched on directly in the face, while Lao kicked them so hard they fell to the water. He spun his hat, but he accidentally slashed his finger. It didn't bleed that much, but it still hurt.
"I could never get use to this..." he complained to himself. Liu ran towards to a Tarkatan, and unfortunately for the butterface, it has delayed reactions, so he didn't counter Liu's kick, which knocked him out cold. Raiden took care of the two in front of him, and they fell into the water with the other drowning Tarkatans.
"Tarkatans are beaten so easily?" the Kytinn asked Baraka. The latter ran to the Thunder God. Lao and Liu offered to help, but five more butterfaces appeared from behind, so the Shaolin warriors decided to take care of them. The Tarkatan leader almost hit Raiden in the face, but he swiftly evaded it, while taking a kick in the thigh from the bladed creature. He almost got stabbed by Baraka as well, so he teleported behind him and had the advantage.
The Thunder God took hold of the Tarkatan's hands and electrocuted him, but didn't finish him.
"Ehm pala hey, Ba' rah kuh!" Raiden threatened in a different language. Baraka's face changed from serious to bewilder.
"...what?" he responded.
"You Tarkatans have a language of your own, don't you?" Raiden asked.
"No, that's just a rumor. We speak English like you, but you will not see the tournament!" Raiden sighed, shaking his head.
"Really? I'm a god!" he replied, using his flying Superman attack. Since his punches are full of electricity, it made it difficult for Baraka to fight back, and with that, Raiden earned a double flawless victory! Cheap, but true as hell; at least he's not a Gary-Stu. "You will return to the Wastes with no prize." He proudly walked passed him and walked towards the ship. "Step aside," he said to D'Vorah.
She refused by kombating him, and as usual, Raiden teleported behind her, being closer to the ship.
"No fair!" D'Vorah groaned. She released some bugs from her abdomen, and Raiden summoned lightning, eliminating the bugs with no problem. "Such power... What are you Raiden?"
"I am of truth and light," Raiden responded nonchalantly. "I protect Earthrealm."
"This One cares not for Earthrealm..." D'Vorah declared strongly. "...and worships no gods." She was going to say something else until Raiden used the same move in the beginning from the last fight. Some bugs managed to get on Raiden and attack him, so no flawless victory for him now. However, lightning kills bugs, so Raiden beats D'Vorah.
"When a god speaks, heed him," Raiden said to the unconscious Kytinn. Lao and Liu walked up to him, not tired from their fight with the Tarkatans.
"They were the easiest opponents like the ones in the tournament," Lao stated to Raiden. Liu nodded in agreement.
"Let us free those aboard this vessel. Then you will find the second ship."
"Where will you go, Lord Raiden?"
"The tournament begins soon," Raiden replied. "Join me as soon as you are able. After that, we'll have dinner at this really great restaurant near the beach."
"We will succeed, Lord Raiden," Liu replied confidently, following the Thunder God with Lao.
"Of that I am certain."
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After the last flashback of the game ended... finally... Raiden floats in the center of the chamber and looks slightly disturbed, since he never took Liu and Lao to the restaurant due to Lao's unfortunate death. While the camera creepily continues to stare at Raiden resting, the chamber began to crumble, and the Thunder God awoke for like... two minutes when the chamber was quaking. Bo' Rai Cho was nowhere to be found, and as for the teenager... who knows?
Raiden got out of the center and before he headed out of the Jinsei Chamber, he found a note. He picked it up, and it read,
You better come or your friend dies.
Xoxo, the Host
Who is this "Host"? Raiden ran outside in the rain, and no one was there, until he was swatted in the back of the head, blacking him out. A laugh escaped from the hitter's mouth and it no other than Shinnok. The revenants looked at their leader for further instructions, and Shinnok simply nodded. The revenants went inside the temple, while Shinnok carried Raiden back inside. He grunted, since Raiden is heavier than the fallen Elder God.
After a few minutes of getting him inside the chamber, there was studio audience watching Shinnok getting the unconscious Raiden to his spot. There were cameramen preparing the cameras, producers getting everything settled, and the director talking to D'Vorah, who has Johnny and Bo' Rai Cho taken as prisoners. The revenants and Shinnok went back to the entrance of the chamber, and waited for their cue. The director called out "Action!" and the audience started to applaud.
Are you smarter than a revenant?
Cause you gotta test your might.
Go get your Elder God and kombat skills.
Are you smarter than you used to be?
During the lyrics, the revenants were running awkwardly like fifth graders and getting into their desks, sitting down on their chairs. Shinnok followed right after, and the audience clapped louder. He had cards in his hand, while he used his other to wave at the audience. When the music stopped, he looked at the camera with a surprisingly not-so-fake grin.
"Welcome to Are You Smarter than a Revenant?! I'm your host Shinnok and I'm here to give a god a chance to save Earthrealm!" Raiden immediately woke up to see that he was bound to a stoned hand with his right arm free from the grasp. He then noticed that the chamber has been redecorated into a classroom with a board that has a picture of him fighting against Shao Kahn, and sees the revenants sitting on their desks, waiting for Raiden to talk.
I don't know if this is a hangover I'm getting, but I swear I'm never going to drink one of Bo' Rai Cho's drinks ever again, Raiden thought, clutching his forehead from all that he gathered.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Looks like he was praying for a good game!" Shinnok said. A person with a cue card gave the audience the hint to laugh, and they did. "Okay, Raiden, here's how you play the game!" the former Elder God said, pointing at the board with flashing animation. "You pick a category based around the Mortal Kombat franchise, and you have three cheats. One is called 'Copy', where you can take your revenant's answer and go with it. The next cheat is 'Peek' where you can look at their paper and go with it, or another answer. And then there's 'Save', where if you get the wrong answer, but your revenant gets the right answer, they can save you. If you win, you will save our prisoner, Johnny Cage, and possibly the life of Bo' Rai Cho. Now, pick your revenant!"
Raiden couldn't believe he was seeing this, but he noticed Kitana, Sindel, Smoke, Lao, and Liu. They were raising their hands and kept yelling "Pick me!" which was completely unlike them. Despite the insanity that is everything about this game show, he must endure to save Earthrealm.
"I pick Kung Lao," Raiden said, using his free arm to point at the Shaolin. Lao got up and gave the other revenants high fives before running to the podium beside Raiden's. Shinnok looked at the card in his possession.
"So it says here that you made Kung Lao fight in the tournament, and he had his neck snapped by Shao Kahn." Raiden was shocked to hear this, and the audience started booing at the Thunder God.
"To be fair, Shao Kahn was a sore loser!" Raiden fired back. Lao was glaring at Raiden, which made the Thunder God frown at him in melancholy.
"Okay, here are your categories," Shinnok said, the board flashing into ten subjects regarding Mortal Kombat. "Kung Lao, what would be your best subjects?" The revenant looked at the board carefully.
"I'm good at 'Shaolin Monks' for six hundred, and probably 'Character Biographies' for a thousand." Shinnok nodded, and he said to Raiden,
"Now choose what you want to pick, Raiden." Without hesitation, Raiden said to the fallen Elder God,
"'Character Biographies' for a thousand." When he called out the category, it immediately sliced off the board while the audience applauds.
"Here's the question: Where was Sonya Blade's origins in Earthrealm?" Lao wrote down an answer on the podium and pressed the button, making his podium turn blue. "Kung Lao has his answer written. What do you know of from Sonya Blade, other than that I almost killed her?"
"Well, her accent sounds Southern, and to me, Texas is the most southern state in America, so I'll lock in Texas!" Raiden said, locking in his answer. Shinnok looked at his cards and he groaned.
"Texas is the right answer," he mumbled, and afterwards, Raiden's podium turned from blue to white, white meaning correct. The audience clapped, and Raiden earned a thousand dollars for getting that question right. "Before we continue on picking the next question, let's see what your friends have to say." The cameramen turned their attention to Bo' Rai Cho and Johnny, who was groaning from pain, thanks to D'Vorah's grasp.
"I would love... to be competing in the show..." Johnny grunted. Bo' Rai Cho was still knocked out, so the cameramen went back to Raiden, Shinnok, and Lao. The Thunder God looked at the board to see some categories that are easy, while others were questionably hard. However, he found one to go for.
"I'll go with 'Shang Tsung's Creations' for eight hundred." The animation from earlier appeared, and Shinnok read the question.
"We all know Mileena is one heck of a butterface!" The audience laughed on cue, while Shinnok continued reading the board. "What was she created out of?" Luckily for this question, it was a multiple choice one, because there are two ways to determine the answer: either being made out of Kitana's DNA, or being a hybrid of Edenian and Tarkatan. Lao wrote the letter down and pressed the button, and Raiden did the same after he said,
"The answer is B: Edenian and Tarkatan." His podium turned blue, and then white after Shinnok said that was the right answer, even though the host himself is determined to make sure he loses.
"You still have all your cheats, Raiden, but Kung Lao has to go back to his seat, so you get to pick another revenant!" The four of them except Lao raised their hand, and the one that stood out to Raiden the most was Liu.
"I pick Liu Kang," Raiden called out. Liu got out of his seat and gave the revenants high fives like Lao did, and ran to the podium.
"Liu Kang, it says here that Raiden accidentally killed you while arguing whether to let Shao Kahn enter Earthrealm or not." Liu nodded, glaring at Raiden.
"That is true. I should thank Raiden, because I'm free! I will help you end the Elder Gods' rule!" A roar of applause came from the audience, and Raiden was sadden to hear this, coming from his "son".
"There are eight questions remaining on the board; out of all of these, Liu Kang, which ones are your best subjects?" Liu stared at the board, and he replied to the former Elder God,
"I'm excellent at 'Movie Adaptation' for a thousand, and 'Reboot, Reboot!' for two hundred." After giving his response, Raiden decided to go for "Reboot, Reboot!", and the question appeared on the board, which was the easiest question ever.
"In what year did the Mortal Kombat reboot came out?" Liu pressed the button on his podium after he wrote down the answer. Raiden rubbed his eyes due to the lack of effort in that question.
"2011," he answered, locking it in. His podium turned white, and the audience cheered. He's dominating this game, but if it's to save Johnny and Bo' Rai Cho, he'll continue. "Now, I'll go with Liu Kang's other preferred category, that being 'Movie Adaption' for a thousand."
"In the 1995 movie adaptation of Mortal Kombat, where did Shang Tsung take Sonya Blade for kidnapping?" In the movie, Raiden's film counterpart said it himself, so this was a no brainer.
"It is the emperor's castle," Raiden said, pressing the button. Shinnok dropped the cards, his eyes round. The audience, revenants, and even Johnny gasped from his response as well.
"The emperor's asshole?!" Shinnok asked in shock. "Raiden, this is a family show!" Raiden shot a dirty glare at Shinnok for mishearing him, but he cleared his throat.
"Sorry, my voice turned into Christopher Lambert's for some reason. I said 'castle', not 'asshole'." Liu wrote his answer down and locked it in. Hopefully he didn't put what Shinnok thought he said.
"My bad, Raiden," Shinnok replied. He picked up the cards and said to him, "The correct answer is in fact his castle." After another round of applause, Shinnok looked at the camera and said, "We'll be right back after these commercials!" The cameramen switched to commercial, while D'Vorah was... trapping Johnny in a gross way, her mouth spitting out a sticky substance so Johnny couldn't escape. The revenants went out of the chamber, and so did the audience, forming a line outside the temple to get an autograph from them.
When everyone, except for Raiden, Shinnok, D'Vorah, and Johnny were outside, the former Elder God went to the center of the chamber and let out his aura, soiling the Jinsei with his energy. Raiden broke free of his trap and said to him,
"You will not defile the Jinsei, Shinnok!" He walked up to him while Shinnok glared at him. He quickly smiled and made a grasping motion with his hand, trapping Raiden once again. His hat fell off and conveniently landed beside him. Shinnok made the same motion again, hurting Raiden.
"We have battled for eons, Raiden. Now finally, it ends." Shinnok reached further into the Jinsei, and released his energy, creating red smoke that would fly over the sky. Sub-Zero even heard it from the Lin Kuei temple, running outside to see the disaster rising. It also reached to the Special Forces camp, making everyone run into hiding, while some fell to the ground. While Shinnok continues to release more impure energy into the Jinsei, D'Vorah watched in awe. Shinnok was transforming into a corrupted version of him, and he cried out, "Tremble before me, Elder Gods, as I absorb Earthrealm's power."
"No Shinnok, you insolent fool..." Raiden said weakly. "Even now... others come to defeat you. By the way... did I win the money I've earned?"
"Hell no!" Shinnok replied, laughing manically like every other generic villain.
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This chapter was so much fun to make, I had to take breaks from laughing. XD And yes, this was inspired by Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader, while adding in some Jeopardy for the money. Ever since it's been rebooted and aired on TV, I had to watch it, and it is a lot better than the last adaptation (I disliked the limit being $25,000 from last time). I actually went to L.A. one summer with my family, and we were in the audience where the host of Access Hollywood was the contestant! It was a fun experience. :)
When Shinnok and everyone else thought Raiden said, "The emperor's asshole," was a reference to Nostalgia Critic's review of Mortal Kombat. I died laughing when he said that, so I had to put that in there. XD
Oh, and that teenager who appeared when Bo' Rai Cho and Raiden were talking about bringing back the revenants' souls back? That was me... sort of. XD I don't have a shirt with a dragon symbol, but I used that to reference the Mortal Kombat symbol. XD It wasn't word for word from her dialogue, but my reaction was the same, since I cringed and frowned when Raiden said all that when talking about using Quan Chi to get the revenants back to normal. It even pains me to see my man be injured like that, and for what's next for him later. :(
Next chapter will be back to normal with kombating with Specialist Briggs! While I'm not that fond of her, she's not that bad a character, and I think Takeda/Jacqui is adorable. :)
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