Innocent Games

Sometimes I think you get to a point in life where you stop.

Maybe it's only for a moment, but it's stagnant. You want to change, but keep falling back into the same habits. You want to be better, but fear holds you back.

I think I'm still scared of losing people. And at this point, I'm too old to keep blaming my parents for it. Gabumon always tells me not to worry, that he'll always be there, no matter what - even through my terrible decisions, even if we might not make it out alive. It's easy to believe him. Digimon are not like people.

I know I think about things too much, about what I need to do to keep things the same, because people hate change and I need them to stay. And then I hate that I hate change because I need to change to keep things the same.

My thoughts don't even make sense. They start swirling like a dark pool and out of me, creeping at my feet. And now that I'm here, I wonder if I ever left the dark behind at all.

Chapter Ten
Change

At first glance, the Inoue apartment was the same as always.

Cody had prepared for the worst. A black pit waiting to steal from his memory, the reaper hovering in the back of his mind.

But nothing happened. Everything was in place, the art above the couch seemed unfamiliar, but Cody had never really paid much attention to it anyway. He was standing, observing it, tension fixing his back like a rod when Mimi squeaked, "Her shoes are here!"

Two purple stilettos dangled from Mimi's hands when he turned around.

"Gosh, these are cute," Mimi cooed. "I should've bought myself a pair too." When the boys stared at her, clueless, she added, "Yolei was here. We went shopping before the party. She was wearing these when we got sucked into the portal."

Joe grabbed a pair of keys from the coffee table. "Guess we know who crashed the car."

"Yolei!" Cody's voice seemed to echo down the empty hall. "Davis!"

"We must have missed them," Joe said.

"Why would she leave without her shoes?" Cody asked.

"Probably found something more comfortable," Mimi said, collapsing on the couch. She held Yolei's shoes up to her blistered feet, comparing the size.

"Why would you want to put on more heels?" Joe asked.

"Aesthetics."

"You can't find something that's pretty and practical?"

"Pretty, maybe. Sexy, though? Not so much." Mimi slipped on the stiletto and gave her leg a little lift. "Yolei was definitely going for sexy."

Cody ventured down the hall before Joe started stuttering. His embarrassed hiss was followed by Mimi's light, playful laugh. For a moment, they reminded Cody of him and Yolei. Maybe that was why they inherited their crests.

Cody had known Yolei for almost as long as he could remember. His family had moved into the apartment not long after his father passed. She'd become an instant friend, loitering in the hallway while his grandfather and mother arranged stacks of boxes, asking the important things, like 'why is your dad so old?' and 'do you have a computer?'

Cody had always found solace in the chaos of the Inoue household. Kids were always around, parents were busy bustling in and out at odd hours, and everyone was loud. It was a stark contrast to Cody's quiet home, where an hour of grieving was his mother's nightly ritual.

Inside of Yolei's room was just how he remembered it. The same bedspread, the basket Poromon slept in by her feet, a dozen stuffed animals decorating her headboard. One dresser drawer had been left open andhe was surprised to find it empty.

Usually Yolei's drawers were stuffed to capacity, a million layers for every season. Cody thought of the times she'd modeled for him, asking for opinions he wasn't sure how to give. Because Yolei had always been like a sister to him and she liked to ask things like, "do you think guys will notice me in this?" to which he always thought, how could anyone not notice Yolei Inoue?

Cody walked up to her dresser, pushing the empty drawer back into place. Beneath, he found shards of glass. He found more caught in the carpet by her bed and then the remains of a broken picture frame lying on her nightstand.

It took him only a second to recognize it. What should have been a family picture had been reduced to a mold of inhuman blobs.

Then the reaper returned.

Darkness touched the frame, swirling where Cody's eyes had fallen. The presence lurked in his mind, touching memories. Cody could see them, resting somewhere in his subconscious: Mantarou, Chiziru, Momoe and Yolei, all framed by their smiling parents on what Yolei claimed to be their only family vacation. The one and only time I-Mart had closed.

Cody could hear Yolei's voice.

"You should totally ask your grandpa to take you there. I swear those hot springs could cure cancer. They are that good. Too bad we'll never go back. My parents don't trust anyone else with the store. I think that was the longest they ever left it." She paused to put the picture back on her nightstand. "You know, when I have kids someday, I'll take them there every spring, stay a whole week. I'll let them stay up late and eat all the desserts at the buffet and..."

Cody saw a flash of violet hair, spilling over her face, hiding the sound of the lump in her throat, and then she was gone.

The picture came back to life, complete. Yolei beamed, her big round glasses glaring in the flash, bubbling hot springs steaming behind her family's backs.

Cody collapsed onto her bed. It took a minute for Joe and Mimi to find him.

"Cody?" Joe sat beside him.

Mimi sat on his other side. "It happened again, didn't it?"

"Just the picture. I don't get it," Cody choked out. "If Yolei was here, then why weren't her things right?"

"Maybe… maybe this wasn't her memory," Joe said.

"It had to be," Mimi said. "Her shoes were here."

"Davis," Cody said. "He was with her and maybe… it has to be his. " He took in a shaky breath. "Maybe that's why my apartment was empty. I can't remember the last time he was there."

"I think the program is searching for missing information," Joe said. "It must be using your memories to fill in the gaps of Davis's."

"So are you saying every time someone has a foggy memory it's going to use one of us to fill it?" Mimi asked. Her eyes had gone dark, her bright sparkly optimism long gone.

"Except it didn't use Yolei," Cody said. "If she was here, why wouldn't it fill in the gap with her memory?"

Joe took off his glasses and rubbed them with the edge of his shirt. "Maybe it's because we came to Davis's memory through yours."

"It doesn't matter," Mimi said, pulling one of Yolei's stuffed animals into her arms. "What matters is where they went. Do you have any ideas?"

Cody shook his head and, pressing his fingers to his temple, he stood to check her dresser drawers and found them all empty. He thought of her shoes.

"I think you're right about the program, Joe," he said. "Someone is creating this world while we're in it."

His eyes drifted to the broken frame on the nightstand. Yolei smiled up at him. It was strange how people could smile when they were sad.

Cody never had learned how to do that.

...

...

The streets were covered in ice.

They found out the hard way, when Matt's feet went out from under him, sending him crashing to his backend. In an attempt to rise, his four limbs spread out like a crab. He collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk, groaning.

"Is that ice?" asked TK.

"No, it was a banana peel," said Matt.

Laughter bubbled in the back of TK's throat when he shuffled to his brother's side. Kari followed and together they struggled to get him on his feet. When Matt pulled his arm, TK went sharply sideways and caught himself on Kari's hip.

She laughed, helping the brothers steady themselves.

Red, TK asked her, "How are you not falling right now?"

Tai shuffled backwards past them in long smooth strides, as if he had magically transformed his sneakers to ice skates. "Lessons."

Matt managed to catch himself on a window ledge and Kari went a bit pink when TK's fingers slid over her center.

Watching her red Mary Janes find their footing, Kari explained, "Our mom had dreams of us becoming the next big figure skating duo."

Matt gave a low snort, to which Tai said, "Jealous."

"It's raining," Ken said.

Tai twisted around, the smug look on his face slipping along with his body to the ground.

"Serves you right," Sora said when the air flew from his lungs.

Tai wheezed. "So mean."

After TK was steady on his feet, Kari looked to the sky.

Ahead, a wall of clouds met the tops of the buildings. Rain poured down so heavy it seemed solid. Gutters overflowed and water rushed toward them from the storm. When it reached the edge of the clouds, it slowed until it became a trickle over ever growing sheets of ice.

"That's not possible, right?" TK asked Ken.

"It shouldn't be."

"Tai," Sora snickered, legs sliding into a V, "if you pull me down with you, I swear."

"You'd be able to help if you'd stop laughing at me."

"I'm sorry." The moment Tai was on his feet, more laughter burst through her nose. "I just keep picturing you in a sparkly leotard."

"That's for the girls."

"One time our instructor made him wear a mesh shirt," Kari said.

"For the record, that's when I quit."

"I'm pretty sure you said it was cool."

"No, I said cold," Tai said. When TK laughed behind his fist, he scowled. "I was eight."

Almost everyone was laughing again. Kari broke from the conversation to join Ken, who kept his eyes on the clouds.

"What is it?" she asked him.

"I'm not sure yet." When she stayed silent by his side, he turned to her. "This is another memory."

"I didn't remember rain," Sora confirmed.

Kari slid carefully along the ice. Ken started to explain to them about weather patterns and the coding errors Izzy had meant to work through and his voice grew distant while she made her way toward the storm. The closer she got, the worse her footing was. The ice grew thicker and slick with rain. She rubbed her arms, trying to fight the winter frost creeping through her sweater.

She barely heard Tai's voice when she finally reached the edge of the storm, nearly a block away from where they had witnessed Matt vs. Ice.

Rain ricocheted off pavement, touching her shins. Kari held her hand up to the wall of water, fingers touching the chill of early spring. The sound reminded her of that day, a steady hush as the rain caught up to their clasped hands.

"Kari?"

Tai flanked her side, his dark eyes watching her in the way they did sometimes, whenever she seemed too close to the edge. She flicked her wet fingertips, aiming for his nose.

"Hey." He wiped water from his face and hooked an arm over her shoulders, giving them a squeeze and ruffling her hair. They both began to slide backwards and had to hold onto each other to keep their footing.

Laughing, Tai said, "I can't believe you told them about the mesh shirt."

"You know you loved it."

A smirk curled into the dimple on his cheek and Kari thought about how grown up he was now. How in a few short months he'd be whisked off to college while she figured things out on her own. She gave his hand a squeeze and let him go.

"Too bad we didn't grab an umbrella," Sora said, coming up behind them, tugging her sweater over her wrists. "I'm freezing."

Kari could see Matt shift behind her, as if he had to hold onto his jacket in order to keep himself from offering it.

"Well, if we run we can get the blood pumping," Tai said. "Just keep your eyes peeled for the others."

"Oooh." Sora made a low whine and shook her arms out. "Okay, just jump in," she told herself.

"Anytime now," Tai teased. He'd barely gotten the words out of his mouth when Sora gave him a shove, forcing him into the rain.

"WOOO that's COLD!"

Closing his eyes, Matt stepped in next, wordless as his hair immediately sunk low across his forehead. Sora gave a couple bounces on her toes and took off after them, squealing as soon as the water hit her back.

Both Ken and TK remained. The three of them stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the rain.

Ken offered his jacket and Kari took it when he insisted, pulling the blazer tight around her chest. He let out a low, heavy breath before he plunged through the wall of water, leaving her and TK alone on the edge of memories.

Kari could feel him watching her as her eyes drifted into the rain. The others had become nearly invisible. Tai's voice was small through the heavy hush of the downpour and TK's soft gaze remained.

"I remember looking for you that day," Kari said. "When Davis and I…" She touched her eye, could feel the cool wet of rain on her cheek. "It was just like this."

"Huh."

She looked at him, watched him harden beside her in a way that she never thought he could. He tugged the rim of his baseball cap low over his bruised brow, like it could keep his emotions locked inside.

She turned to the storm. "I kept imagining that you would come home and we'd be okay," she said, "But we weren't okay, were we?"

"I guess not."

Kari looked up again, but his eyes were still hidden from view. "You always keep your distance," she said. "Even when you're right beside me."

TK shook his head, a small smile tugging at his cheek, everything but happy. "Sounds like someone else I know."

Kari gave a quiet laugh and warm water gathered in the crease of her frozen cheek. "You've got me there."

TK's fingers reached then, curling along the creases of hers. Her breathe seized, catching in her chest. They traced her palm and she swore she could feel his fingerprints, everything that made him, slipping over her hand.

Together they stepped into the rain.

...

...

"I am not getting in there."

Yolei stood safely on shore while Davis dropped his backpack into the swan boat. The entire thing seemed to sink further into the gray muck.

"How could you not want to ride in a giant swan?"

Yolei eyed it suspiciously.

"Look, I'm starving," Davis said, opening his backpack to peer inside. "And right now our choices are Doritos, gummy worms, or my sweaty jersey. So I'm gonna see if we can catch some fish."

"With what?"

Davis dug further into his bag and then left the boat to search the shore.

"Seriously, Davis. That thing is probably going to spring a leak the moment we get it into the water." Yolei cringed when Davis pulled his foot from the muck with a loud slurp.

"Aha!" He turned around with two gray sticks and bent them over his knee, testing them for sturdiness. "Fishin poles. I got lines and hooks in my bag and…" He gave an exuberant dart back to the boat, shoes slurping the whole way. Reaching down, he pulled up the gummy worms and gave them a gleeful shake. "Hope the fish like sugar!"

Yolei rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I?"

"Nope." Davis put his supplies on the seat. "C'mon, we'll get a better look around from out here. And maybe that big thing in the woods doesn't know how to swim."

Yolei turned over her shoulder as if just speaking of it could conjure it back.

"Fine," she said, adjusting the beach bag on her shoulder. She bent over, pulling off her pig slippers even though they were already covered in muck. She gave one a toss and Davis had to rescue it from the mud.

"I wish I had said something really outrageous just then," he said.

Yolei raised a brow.

"Because, y'know, then you coulda said 'when pigs fly' and then the pig—" Sighing, Davis tossed the slipper in the boat. "Nevermind."

Yolei took off the other slipper and tossed it at him. "You are such a dork."

"When pigs fly." He caught it, then frowning, said, "Nope, that didn't work."

"How bout 'we'll find the others'?" she asked.

"Too late, the pig has flown," said Davis. "Come help me with this, will ya?"

Yolei cringed, letting her toes touch down in gray mud. "Oh, ew, ew, ew."

Davis made his way to the other side. "On the count of three, we push and then jump in, kay?"

"Okay." Yolei pressed her hands against the neck of the swan and felt her feet sink further into the muck.

"One. Two. Three. PUSH!"

The boat slid easily against the slimy shore and was already gliding in the water. Davis hurdled over the side while Yolei clambered through the water after him, feet sinking deep into the muck beneath the surface.

"Wait!" she cried.

He pedaled backwards in an attempt to halt the boat's progress, but she was already thigh deep, the hem of her skirt soaking in stagnant water. The swan kept drifting.

"Would you stop?"

"I'm tryin! Just get in!"

Yolei grabbed the side of the boat with her forearms and jumped, heaving herself up. The swan rocked violently to the side.

"Woah," Davis yelled, leaning the opposite direction to keep them steady. "Careful."

Yolei clobbered over the side and her muddy foot landed directly in his lap.

"Ugh!"

Righting herself, she purposefully ground the mud into his pants. "Serves you right."

Davis grunted and started pedaling, steering the boat toward the middle of the lake. Yolei carefully dangled her feet over the edge, shaking mud off into the water. Scooping water into her hands, she began washing dirt and debris from her legs. She turned when Davis let out a loud puff of air and noticed pink spreading under the tan of his cheeks.

"Could use a little help pedaling," he grumbled.

Yolei slid her hands over her legs, pushing off water, then gave her fingers a flick, spraying Davis's ear which he instantly rubbed against his shoulder.

"Knock it off and take over," he told her, reaching for his bag.

Yolei stood to take a seat and the boat rocked violently to the side.

"Easy!"

"Sorry," she muttered. She pedaled while Davis began wrapping the line around a stick he had thrown into the bottom of the boat, pulling it with his teeth to tie a knot. After he had made what looked like a hobo's fishing pole, the boat broke free of the cove, giving them a clear view of the world around them.

The lake was lined with gray. Miles of colorless trees spread past the shore and deep gray mountains rose beyond. Yolei watched through cracked lenses, waiting.

"Do you think they're out there?" she asked, squinting. Her head was starting to hurt and for the first time in her life she wished she had the guts to wear contacts.

Davis gave his string a sharp tug and bounced the stick up and down. "The fish?"

"No, doofus, I mean our friends."

He shrugged. "Must be. Who's memory do you think this is?"

"Matt's probably," she said. "TK said he loved this stupid boat. "

Davis snorted and stabbed a gummy worm with a hook. "I think they all rode in it at some point."

Yolei stopped pedaling and the swan kept drifting. Cupping her mouth, she screamed as loud as she could, nearly causing Davis to hook his hand.

"Maaa-at!" Her voice echoed across the water with no return. "Taiiiii! Soooraaaa! Miiimiii! Anybody?!"

Davis raised a brow, but they both waited, silent. When there was no reply, he cast his makeshift line complete with sugary bait into the water.

"Keeennn!"

"Pretty sure its not his memory," Davis said.

"Teeekaaayy!"

"You're scarin the fish."

"There aren't any fish here," Yolei said, reaching over to grab the bag of gummy worms. She popped one into her mouth. "We're wasting time."

Davis frowned. "You're wasting my bait."

She picked up another one and put it between her lips, slurping it up slow.

"Give me the worms!"

"Nope."

Davis stood to grab the bag of candy from her hands and jerked sharply to the side when she pulled them from his reach. Before either of them could do anything to stop it, the boat tipped sideways, throwing them and all their supplies into the lake.

Yolei sunk. She had screamed at Davis as they went over and barely had a chance to take a breath before she plummeted through the water. She tried to swim, but she kept sinking. Something was literally dragging her down. For a moment, all her brain registered was the monster, that whatever mysterious thing had lurked in the woods was lurking beneath them and had grabbed her by the chest, forcing her to the depths.

Then she remembered the beach bag. She thrashed in a violent panic and by sheer luck, she slipped her neck out from under the strap. Kicking with all she had, she swam and just when she was sure she was going to suck in water, she broke the surface. Her lungs burst, heaving in air and for a moment she sank back down, too weak to swim and took in some water. She broke back up, choking and coughing.

A second later she heard Davis surface. A million expressions passed over his face when he caught sight of her.

"Holy shit, Yolei," he gasped, panic lilting his voice up an octave. He swam toward her, hauling his backpack over his shoulder. "Where were you? You scared the shit outta me."

She sucked in another heavy breath, still wheezing and managed to calm her swimming enough to search for something to grab onto. She could barely see without her glasses (she must have lost them in the water) but she could make out the large white mass that was the swan boat, moving slowly out of their reach.

"The boat," she gasped.

Davis turned from her and instantly started swimming. He grabbed ahold of the side before she'd managed to move. Seeing her struggle, he hoisted himself into the boat and managed to turn it around, pedaling toward her.

Yolei flailed for the edge and once she had it, she had nothing left. She hung there, weak and useless and blind.

"My glasses," she weeped.

Davis reached down, carefully keeping his weight centered. Yolei felt a sharp tug on the back of her head as he ripped out a couple of her hairs.

"Ouch! What the—oh." He handed the glasses to her, complete with violet hairs caught in the joint. "Thanks." She placed them on her face. Water gathered along the cracks in the glass, leaving little drops and rivers across her vision.

"Can you get up?" he asked.

Yolei shook her head, feeling pathetic.

"Here, give me your hand." Then, laying carefully across the pedals, Davis reached for her. Their palms slid together and Yolei was sure her fingernails dug gouges into his knuckles when he tugged. Then his hands were floundering, yanking her up by the arms, the ribs, the waist of her skirt until they were pressed together, panting on the bottom of the boat.

The swan rocked back and forth, swaying as they tried to catch their breath. Yolei watched weakly over Davis's wet mop of hair: sky and water, sky and water until she caught sight of something floating. Then she burst out laughing even though she was sure her lungs were too weak.

Davis quickly untangled himself from her. "What?" he asked, completely red.

"Tampons."

He saw them when he turned around: a horde of tampons floating like lily pads along the lake's surface and Yolei's pig slippers in the center, half drowned.

Yolei pulled her skirt back down when he collapsed into the seat.

"How many did we pack?" he asked, giving a loud snort.

Yolei slid into her own seat, body pure gelatin. "Enough."

"Gross."

Davis insisted they use his fishing pole to rescue the pig slippers. They laid dirty and sopping on the bottom of the boat while Yolei closed her eyes, feeling the cool breeze rise goosebumps on her skin. Her glasses had fogged so badly, they were useless and Davis pedaled the entire way to shore without complaining.

"I thought I killed you," he told her when the swan touched down in the muck.

"You wish," she said, trying to find the energy to stand. Why did almost drowning make you so tired?

She slumped out of the boat, ignoring his pout and landed, ankle deep into the gray mud. It was deeper on this side of the lake, sucking her foot in like quicksand and the moment she tried to unstick herself she went backwards, landing butt first in the muck.

Tears bit at the corner of her eyes. She thought of their supplies at the bottom of the lake, the tampons all ruined, how all she wanted was a hot shower and cheesecake, and how small the two of them were, alone in this world. A loud chuckle burst out of her tears and she laughed, half sobbing and so ridiculously both that Davis looked at her like she had lost her mind. He helped her to her feet and when he giggled about her buttprint in the mud, she reached up with her hand, smearing it on his face.

"Ugh, Yolei!"

Her laughter took over as he wiped the stinky muck away with the back of his arm. Then, when he bent over, grabbing a handful of mud in his palm, she squealed.

"No, no no no no no, don't you NO!"

Muck flung into her arms as they shielded her face.

"You jackass!"

Yolei reached down, grabbed her own ammunition and sought revenge, pinning one of Davis's arms to his side so she had better access to his head. He grabbed her wrist and they wrestled until they were back on the ground. Davis quickly overpowered her and she surrendered when he succeeded in drawing a smiley face on her forehead. They both fell back, soaked and stinking and filthy.

When their giggles finally ceased, the world went silent.

Yolei sat up, rubbing mud from her face and watched the sun begin to set. Its rays danced off the surface of the water, glimmering in the ripples. If the world around them hadn't been devoid of color, it would have been beautiful.

Davis pushed himself off the ground, shaking mud from his hands and Yolei leaned back before he could stand, catching her head on his shoulder and watching the world.

After a moment, she heard his stomach growl and reality came flooding back like water into her lungs.

"I'm tired," she told him.

"Me too."

...

...

As the time passed, he tried to remember, but they only came in bits and pieces.

Her soft eyes, the smell of her, the way she had rocked him to sleep at night, tickling his cheek with red hair. His baritone, the rich vocabulary of unknown words, read from a book far too advanced for a child yet to talk, his dark eyes.

In that terrible moment, when he had felt Animamon rip his soul in two, Izzy had seen his birth parents.A memory so old Izzy didn't realize it had been his. He thought of it now and wondered if he had always remembered and just assumed it was part of a film he'd seen or a passing dream. He wondered if Animamon could bring them back, the bit of his soul they touched. Or if maybe their memory was imprinted on the part that was missing, decaying in some world beyond.

It hadn't been until he had been torn apart that Izzy had even been sure he had a soul. He had always assumed the person resided in the brain and sadly, when the brain was gone, so were they. But if that were so, how could he exist outside himself? And more importantly, how could he exist inside something else?

Izzy's eyes squeezed shut in the darkness.

Was anything he ever thought real at all?