Chapter 10: Grown Up Feelings

"Lost Boys! Attention!" ordered Peter.

The boys instantly dropped whatever they were doing, and rushed to form a line at the opening of the tunnel from which Peter emerged. They stood in file, with their backs fully straight and their shoulders dropped.

Peter landed on the floor and quickly marched towards the back of the room, where the boys kept the rather large and rusted metal pail used to store their weapons. Urgency could be seen in his every step and movement.

"We have a rescue mission!" he said. "Armor up and let's get going. I'll tell you along the way!"

The boys glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes, placing the responsibility of telling Peter Pan of Tink's orders on the boy next to each. Finally, Heath spoke up.

"We can't Peter." He said as he stepped forward. "Tink told us we had to wait."

Stunned, Peter stopped his rummaging through the weapons and turned towards Heath. "Tinkerbell told you to wait? For what?", he asked impatiently and looked around for the little fairy. "Where is she?"

"Out on the look out at Pirate's Cove." Heath continued. "She rushed in here a few hours ago and said to tell you when you came back to simply wait. She said she had sent out for reinforcements and that we shouldn't take off until they arrived."

Peter maintained his obviously annoyed, but relenting gaze on Heath. He sighed deeply and continued searching through the swords and daggers, picking out the best ones. "Reinforcements?" He had planned to set out in search of Hook's whereabouts right away, to be able to ambush him in the dark of night, but he saw the reasoning in Tink's orders. The same idea had scampered through his mind. The new lost boys were great fun and loyal to the core, but they had no real experience in battle, and he would need soldiers that had fought the murderous pirates before hand if he was to save Wendy. "Did she say who?"

"No" replied Heath.

"Can we fall out of line now, Peter?" asked Tweed. He had been trying with all his might to remain completely still, but a child of 7 can only do so for a few minutes before his limbs begin to fidget like a fish on dry land.

"Yes." Peter continued searching through the weapons, and finally picked out five swords and four daggers and called Heath to him.

"Take these and sharpen them" he ordered. Heath took them from his arms and obediently took a seat on a stool, placing his heal on another stool and picking up the smooth rock they used for sharpening their weapons, and began to carry out his task.

"What do you want us to do while we wait?" asked Juni.

"Make more bows" he said after he counted the few they had in the basket next to the swords and knives. "But make the tips sharper than usual. They won't be used in a game with the Indians. These will need to pierce through skin."

The mere mention of inflicting actual injury on someone made every boy's skin crawl. "Are we really to go to battle, Peter?" asked Kip.

"Yes" He looked around at the frightened faces of the boys. He had forgotten how terrifying an honest to goodness swordfight was to anyone who had not truly fought one before. The memories of his first battle were long forgotten, and every time he came face to face with an opponent was as much a game as it was a struggle for his own life. It obviously wasn't so to any of the new lost boys.

"Hook is a fiend beyond compare. A true adversary." The makings of a wicked smile emerged at the corner of his lips. "It was my favorite game, to outwit him and all." He could never think of the mere facts about a battle. Concern for whom ever Hook had captured, be it Wendy or one of the boys, was obviously the main thing on his mind, but nevertheless, it was to be an adventure. A real one, and not just pretend like he had had to make do for a while now. It was the promise of a good swordfight and death defying feats of heroism. Something he realized he had missed greatly in the peace ridden days since he believed Hook had died. "It will be great to fight a worthy opponent again!"

"Where did he go?" asked Kip, fully enthralled by the odd smile that appeared on Peter's face.

He turned to look at Kip. "I thought I had finally done him in. I had to. He went to far that time. He poisoned Tink, and almost made the last group of lost boys and their mother walk the plank."

The boys gasped at the sound of the word mother. It pulled at their heart, whispering into their ears sweet songs and lullabies of a warmth that they could not explain. It was odd to them that such a feeling could be brought on by a simple word.

"Mother?" repeated Tweed. "What's that?"

The memory of Wendy's sweet smile and azure eyes that sparkled with the same tenderness rose in his thoughts. "She's the one that makes sure you wash behind your ears, dresses your wounds when you are hurt, and makes you drink that disgusting medicine when you are ill."

"I think I had one" said Kip and the boys turned around to him. "I remember. She sang me to sleep, and kissed me on my cheek." He placed one hand on his cheek, recalling the warmth of her lips against his flesh.

"Where is she?" Tweed asked Peter, hopeful to meet such a lovely thought in person.

Peter's eyes rested on Tweed, but it was not him he saw. It was her face, with tears that glittered silver in the bright moonlight and her ever understanding smile as he waved goodbye from outside her window. "She went back to her home, in London."

Hours passed by and the dawn was slowly making its presence known, as the twinkle of the stars slowly dimmed away by the brightening light of day; but still, there was no sign of Tinkerbell or her reinforcements. Peter was becoming increasingly frustrated as his patience was running thin. He couldn't take just sitting around and waiting inside the underground home, so he flew out and perched high above the tree branches with the excuse that he wanted to be aware of Hook or the reinforcements' arrival the earliest as possible; but really, all he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts.

Heath sensed the turmoil in his being. He knew that the boy within him was just aching for the fun of the battle, but the maturing man behind the impish boy was entirely concerned with whoever was Hook's captive. He thought he had a pretty good idea of who Peter thought it might be.

He flew out of their underground home and up the tree to where Peter sat perched. His presence did not go overlooked by Peter, but he didn't turn to look at him at all. He just wasn't ready to leave his thoughts.

Heath looked at Peter, noting the stern look on his face that was so un- childlike; so solemn. This was the mischievous youth with pranks and fun always on his mind, but right now, there was nothing playful about him at all. He didn't know how he could speak to this Peter; what words he could say. He didn't even know why he had approached him, or what he had at first intended to say, but he opened his mouth and words came out. "It's the mother...isn't it?"

Peter skipped a breath, stunned by Heath's question, but he did not show it on his face. He looked expressionlessly at Heath, remaining quiet for a second's passing. "Maybe" he said and then turned away.

Heath sighed quietly in relief. He was getting somewhere. Peter had opened up, just the slightest bit, but still, he had done so; giving Heath a chance to dig deeper into the innermost workings of his mind. The area of his soul that he was sure even Peter did not know existed. He sat down on the branch just a few feet below Peter's and looked up at him. How could he approach the matter of his feelings for the girl without upsetting him?

He was searching through his mind for the right words to say when Peter unexpectedly broke the silence. "She's like no other", he said with his sight still off in the distance.

Heath was stunned, but desperately strived to hold back the expression from his face for fear that Peter would shut back up. He gulped silently and aimed blindly into the dark. "Wendy?"

Peter was once again surprised, but this time he could not keep it from showing on his face. "How do you know her name?"

"I've heard you speak it."

"When?"

"On night's like this" he answered and looked up at the blinking stars. "When you come out here for a breath of fresh air, to be on the look out, or simply don't say."

"So, you spy on me?"

"No!" He shook his head aggressively. "I just know that something troubles you, and I get worried. You're our leader; we are there to help you whenever you need it."

It was an understandable concern, so Peter smirked and turned away from him again. "You act kinda like a grown up sometimes" said Peter with worry in his eyes. "Too much, actually."

Heath smiled absently. "I guess" He sighed as another silence passed. "What happened...with her I mean?"

Peter returned his gaze, unsure of whether to tell Heath at all about Wendy, but for months now he had kept it all in, and for years he had felt her presence. He needed some kind of outlet. "I brought her here, just like I brought all of you. But that was a mistake. She didn't really want to be here. She had a family, and she decided to go back to them; to grow up."

"I see" was all Heath could come up with. His suspicions where true, and Peter Pan had actually harbored romantic feelings for a girl. He still did. But, did he himself yet realize it? "And you never told her..." he paused, unsure of whether to finish his sentence, "that you liked her?"

"Well, she knew I did...she was all right...for a girl. If I didn't like her, I wouldn't have brought her here."

"I mean" said Heath with extreme caution in every syllable, "that you...cared about her?"

Peter stared at Heath with glaring eyes. "You mean 'love'?"

That was truly a frightening word, even for Heath, whose mind was older by many more years than his actual age. He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

"She had a fascination with that word." He said spitefully and turned away from Heath again. "She even brought it up once, and ruined the fun we were having. I hate that word....it's for grown ups. Children like us don't even really know what it is. We can't even really talk about it... It's so beyond our grasp."

Heath smiled politely and lifted into the air. "I don't know about that. Sometimes, we are not as young as we think we are." He said. "Sometimes, grown up words, such as that one, have a way of sneaking into our understanding without us noticing."

"Yeah well...not for me" replied Peter with complete certainty. "I could never even speak that word without cringing. It simply offends me."

Heath continued to smile kindly and said, "Really... because I could swear, you just talked about it, and I didn't see you cringe at all" before he flew back down and into the tunnel, leaving Peter alone with that baffling realization.

As soon as the older boys admitted to themselves that Peter Pan and Neverland were as real as the tiny pixie before their eyes, they knew that they remembered how to fly, so Snowchime did not have to remind them and simply flew around them, showering them with her golden dust. They took to the air, with thoughts of their greatest adventure swimming in their minds. Peter Pan, the Indian's celebration in their honor, their triumph over Hook, and their safe return to their home, to the parents that embraced then all.

But Wendy did not find it as easy to hold a happy thought, and so, even after Snowchime sprinkled her twice, she still did not feel the wind beneath her heels for long. There was much troubling her mind, for her to think of anything lovely for too long. Charles was in danger, and Peter Pan would know of her forgetful heart. She cared deeply for the handsome boy with the loving blue eyes and adoration for her, but still, she knew, she felt the spark of something more for Peter Pan. In fact, he was the happy thought that she held when she did in deed lift off the ground, but then her guilty heart would remind her of the troubles she would bring to Peter and Charles once either one would learn of the other, and so her feet would touch the floor again, for she could not bear to think of inflicting pain on either. But after a few more minutes of silent contemplation, she finally held on to the one thought that did work, and so she lifted off into the air and the frustrated fairy finally lead them out the window and into the sky.

It had been a long flight above the streets of London and through the sea of graying clouds. They broke through the sheltered cloak encircling their world and up above, past the planets orbiting in their endless path. They flew right past the winking stars towards the brightest one.

It was a flight that always took a whole night, but it was always a joy for never could one feel as if the visions of that voyage were a mundane thing. They were on a mission; sure, they had a most grave and urgent purpose for returning to the land of Never more, but still, it was a joy.

Along the way, Slightly asked Snowchime why Tinkerbell had sent her instead of coming herself, so she reported all that Tinkerbell told her. She had flown into the Fairy Woods looking specifically for her. Tinkerbell was a sort of celebrity in their world, for she was the Pan's fairy and whenever she needed or wanted something, all the fairies did as she said, which was an achievement in deed, for fairies are known to be very selfish and self centered creatures.

"She told me that Pan was in desperate need of his lost boys, and that she needed me to come get you because she was to be on the look out for 'Hook'." She paused. "Is he really such a terribly tough opponent that Peter Pan needs help?"

"Oh yes!" cried Curly. "He almost did Peter in!"

Snowchime was amazed, which struck Wendy, John and Michael as odd. "Do you not know of Hook?" John asked.

"Well, I heard of him, but he was gone before I was born, so I never met the man."

"How old are you, Snowchime?" asked Michael.

"55 moons old and counting!" she said.

"Fairies can keep track of time in the Neverland?" Wendy asked.

"Yes." Slightly replied. "The forgetfulness seems to only affect us humans. Fairies can recall everything since their birth, although they hardly care to reminisce. They live for the present day, and not one hour beyond it. It's quite fascinating, really."

"But if she's 55 days old, then why is she full grown?" Wendy asked.

"Most fairies aren't born as babies." Nibbs said. "They are born like they are, and that is how they stay."

"So how are they born if they don't all start off as infants?" asked Michael.

"From what I remember", Slightly replied, "a fairy is born from the sparkle of a baby's first laughter."

"Amazing!" cried Wendy as she turned away from Slightly to look at Snowchime, who had perched herself on Wendy's shoulder, smiling happily as she listened to their conversation about her. She was much more at ease now that they were so close to Neverland, and so the boys and Wendy got to know the real Snowchime, who was just a fun loving and extremely vain creature. She took to Wendy, after her initial dislike of her for prolonging their departure, and rode on her shoulder most of the way, taking great pleasure in Wendy's fawning over her beauty.

She was deeply submerged in Wendy's continued admiration, when she noticed their approaching the brilliant star that was the Neverland. "Oh..." she said as she lifted off Wendy's shoulder and flew before them all. "Hold on to each other now!" She flew by each of them as they locked their hands around the ankles of the one before them, forming the human chain, until she reached Michael at the end and flew back to the front and sat back down on Wendy's shoulder. "Here we go!" she chimed. The heavenly bodies around them began to blur as the star began to pull at them, increasing their speed to that of light itself. The dark of space melted away into golden flickers and radiant colors that quickly turned into swirls of vibrant lights, engulfing them as they held on to each other with all their might, laughing whole-heartedly the entire way. Just as they felt there hands weakening from their hold on each other, the swirl of golden colors burst apart and they were thrust into the open skies of an early morning Neverland, as the sun woke up and kissed the island with its golden warmth, welcoming them back to the land of their childhood dreams.

As they regained control over their flight, a tiny golden glimmer rushed towards them from the shrubbery of the island.

"Tinkerbell!" cried Tootles as he flew towards her, with the rest trailing behind him and calling out her name in glee.

"Boys!" she chimed. She flew up to each one of their faces and tugged at their cheeks as she stretched her arms around them in a tight hug, but when she came upon Wendy, she stopped and politely bowed. "We need to talk" she chimed and Wendy nodded in acceptance.

Tinkerbell flew to Slightly's ear and quickly whispered words that made him bite his lip in uncertainty and worry, and then drew back towards Wendy when she was done.

"All right men" Slightly said, as the mere scent of the sweet Neverland breeze placed him right back in his role as second in command. "Hand up!" he ordered as he put his right hand up in the air. "We are hereby ordered by our Miss Bell to swear to not speak of the true nature of Charles and Wendy's relationship."

Wendy's lips parted slightly as she breathed in deeply, but she did not say a word. She was not at all looking forward to deceiving Peter, but she had thought long and hard, since they left London, on the best way to handle the situation, and still, she could not come up with anything. She knew Tinkerbell knew Peter Pan better than anyone, and if this was how she thought this was to be handled, than Wendy just had to agree.

The boys looked at each other, realizing the reason for such an oath, but still reluctant until they turned to look at Wendy who simply nodded lightly. They slowly put their right hands up in the air and said, "Agreed" after which, the lost boys snorted up a wad of spit into the air below them, with John and Michael following in suit.

"I knew I could count on my boys" she chimed. "Snowchime! Take the boys to Peter, and keep low, Hook is combing the skies from his ship."

Snowchime saluted Tinkerbell and rushed to do as she was told. "Come along", she chimed and the boys uneasily turned to wave bye to Wendy and followed her.

As soon as Tinkerbell thought they were out of hearing range, she flew up to Wendy's ear. "It has been a while, hasn't it?" she chimed slowly so that Wendy could understand every word.

Wendy chuckled awkwardly. "Yes, four years. It is good to see you again."

"Same here" replied Tinkerbell with complete honesty. She had learned to like the girl towards the end of their adventure, but still, she could not help but feel awkward with her return.

"Wendy, I guess you know by now that I know about Charles", she chimed as her displeasure with the news showed on her face.

"Yes", Wendy replied. "How did you know?"

"I stowed away on the deck of the Jolly Roger, and I overheard Albino and Starky talking about his capture."

Wendy could not help but ask for Charles's state. "Is he all right? Have they harmed him at all?"

She shook her head. "No. He is fine. He is imprisoned in a cell within the ship." She paused and stared down into the water below them before continuing. "Peter cannot know. We will save him, and you will leave. You will not tell Peter."

"I understand." Wendy said as she desperately tried to hold back the few tears of guilt that collected behind her eyes.

Tinkerbell noticed her swelling tears and sighed deeply. She was not one to talk of feelings either, but still, she felt a need to comfort the girl. "It is not at all your fault. This was supposed to happen. You were supposed to live your life, and so was he. You will, and he will also. That is the way you both chose it to be."

Wendy nodded her head, as she sniffed back the stubborn tears. "I know." She sighed and looked up at Tinkerbell. "Pardon my apparent rudeness" she said as she gained control over herself, "I mean nothing by it, but...why are you being so...kind to me?"

Tinkerbell's head snapped back as she cocked her eyes in an effort to seem offended. "Because I have my reasons, stupid girl!" she quickly retorted. "Now come along before Hook spots us!" she chimed and started towards the island, leading Wendy back to Peter Pan.