CHAPTER 10

"You don't know how much I wish you hadn't done that."

Morgana froze mid-step before she was able to reach the unconscious Arthur and turned to see Morgause glaring at her, seemingly unharmed in the least.

"He was only trying to protect me."

"To use the very magic I taught you against me, your blood, your only family?" She gestured furiously to Arthur. "For him? He means nothing!"

"He means everything."

Morgause stared at her unblinkingly for a moment then shook her head, turning to Arthur. "This is absurd. I'm ending it now."

"Then you will have to kill me to do it."

There was no warning. Just before Morgana felt the pain rip through her body, she could have sworn she heard a man's voice shouting.

Morgause spun around to see who had so foolishly dared to interfere.

"You."

Merlin stood in the doorway, his hands clenched into fists held at his side. He was panting hard as he surveyed the room. Arthur was face down on his stomach, not moving, while Morgana lay lifelessly off to the other side amid the debris. Even though he tried to throw the sorceress off, Morgause's attack had still grazed her. Fortunately, the ceiling took the full brunt, not the woman.

"I knew you were stupid, but honestly, boy, this is quite the accomplishment. Have you any idea what you're dealing with?"

Merlin leveled his gaze at her and reached into his pocket. In the blink of an eye, he was twirling Morgana's gold bracelet round his finger before laying it flat on his palm.

"I've had some time to think lately - dungeons are good for that - and I started in on this. Interesting trinket you've got here. Yet, all the answers I came up with weren't anywhere near the truth. You see, all this time I thought it was about Morgana, about what she wanted, about her vendetta - but it stopped being about Morgana a long time ago, didn't it? Ever since you came in. It was you. You spelled this bracelet, you gave it to her, you've been manipulating her all along, just as you've done everyone else."

Morgause had let him talk till now, somewhat amused by his lack of awareness, and also because she was the slightest bit curious about what he would try. She was unfortunately disappointed.

Sighing, she said, "Did you honestly believe you could just show up like this, talk my ear off, and then make some vain, worthless attempt to catch me unawares so that you might rescue your darling Master? How is it possible that the Kingdom still stands with idiots like you all in it?"

Her eyes flashed with magic, but Merlin was ready for it, he threw up his hand and countered her with ease.

Nothing happened.

Morgause stared in disbelief.

"Actually, I was pretty sure it was going to take more than that. Solumeh."

She gasped as the air around her thickened, becoming viscous, threatening to smother her. Chanting, she tried a spell to break its hold, but it was useless. Her arms were trapped at her side helplessly, her legs locked, as the emptiness around her somehow became a solid stickiness holding her in.

"Secrets…" she murmured almost delightedly. "Everyone always has their secrets. Such power you've been holding out on me, Merlin. Suppose Arthur wasn't such a fool to keep you around after all."

"Not that he would ever admit it."

Merlin appeared eerily calm for such a dangerous situation, but it was far from the truth. He was going out of his mind with terror, not knowing if Arthur was still alive or how badly Morgana was injured. Was he too late? He didn't take Morgause for granted, wary enough not to even consider turning his attention away long enough to check on them. He had to be on his guard every moment in case she broke through. Soon, he would kill her, no other recourse left to him, but there was something he needed first.

Morgause was calm as well. In fact, the only appearance of concern occurred when Merlin had first revealed his magic to her. Other than that, she was taking everything in extraordinarily good stride. She didn't even seem all that bothered that she was trapped and at his mercy.

The bracelet was in his palm again as he turned it over with faux inspection.

"The dark magic in this… I didn't recognize it at first, but I have felt its kind before. The Sidhe."

Morgause raised an eyebrow in approval.

"What would a powerful enchantress like you be doing consorting with creatures like the Sidhe? Couldn't you have simply spelled Morgana to do your bidding on your own? Why go through the trouble?"

She narrowed her eyes mischievously and smirked. "Curious, is it not?"

"You don't wish to tell me?"

"Perhaps if you tell me first what is in it for you?"

His casual demeanor all but vanished. Anger leapt to the surface and whipped between them as the two stared each other down. Morgause had taken his friend from him, from all of them. She had hurt Morgana and Arthur more than she could ever understand. There was no doubt in his mind that he would make her pay for the crimes.

"What did you do to her?" he demanded heatedly, patience gone.

As he mumbled under his breath, Morgause inhaled sharply. The pressure around her grew, making it more difficult to breathe. She wasn't going anywhere until he had his answers.

Huffing, she glared at him. "Very well, if you insist. It was only ever meant to help my sister. She needed strength, I gave that to her. It was never about control, unlike what you wish to believe."

"Strength?"

"Of the Sidhe." She nodded. "I opened a link between them, using the bracelet, and allowed them to influence her. Slowly, but surely their essence infiltrated her. Faes are purely magical beings, they possess no soul. They exist without conscience, outside the boundaries of moral quandaries. They pay no mind to the code which we humans think we live by. They are entirely without remorse. That is exactly what Morgana needed – to be free from the pain we needlessly endure."

"You took away her humanity?" he said, horrified.

"Idiot!" she bit impatiently and rolled her eyes. "To put it in words you could understand, I suppose you could say it suppressed it. A pleasant side effect was the temperance of her visions, a respite, since she is not skilled enough yet to control them. Their influence gave her the opportunity to grow beyond such useless emotions as guilt, as compassion. She carries such anger within her, a profound bitterness, it only made the magic stronger. Every day she wore it, she grew more powerful. It was truly a wonder to watch."

Morgause looked at Morgana's still body out of the corner of her eye and gritted her teeth.

"Then she spoiled everything."

"You mean she rejected it," Merlin insisted. "Morgana fought what the magic was doing to her!"

"Doesn't really matter now, does it?"

Before he had a chance to reply, a swirl of light came blasting towards him and he barely was able to jump out the way in time.

Morgause held her palm out threateningly. His spell no longer had any effect.

"Oh, Merlin," she clucked her tongue. "You didn't actually believe that silly little thing was enough to hold me? I only wanted a minute to gather my resources. I quite thank you for that."

Lightning shot through the opening in the ceiling and he screamed as it pierced him. Eyes filled with gold, Merlin frantically summoned his magic, using all the strength he had to push the energy out of him before it burned him alive.

Morgause laughed. "Now, let's see what kind of power you really have."

The throbbing in her head hit long before she could open her eyes. Blinking, she tried to clear her vision, but the pain was excruciating. Everything was a blur. Her face was wet, but she could hardly move her arms to wipe it off.

She lived – but how? Morgause's attack should have killed her. The only reason why Arthur had survived the initial blow was because he caught her unaware. It hadn't been a fatal strike. Yet, what she hit Morgana with should have killed her in a second.

Flashes of light swirled all around her, voices were shouting in a rage, chanting at odds with the other. With wonder, she noticed that a large hole had been blown in the ceiling and she was staring into the night sky now. Debris lay all around her, she was covered in dust.

Get up. You have to get up.

It was all she could manage to roll on her side. The world swayed before her eyes, spinning brutally. A blinding pain shot into her head and she vomited.

She had to get up.

Wiping her mouth with a dirty hand, she desperately tried to focus and see what was happening, barely able to make out the blurred figures.

It was Merlin she heard first. He was shouting at the top of his lungs, words she did not understand, but recognized enough. His eyes were blazing as great gusts of wind ripped through the tiny cottage, causing the walls to tremble precariously. She knew it wouldn't be long before the whole thing came toppling down. Morgause was fighting back fiercely - the two sorcerers were locked in a tremendous battle. For everything Merlin sent at her, she returned tenfold.

Morgana watched on in awe. She knew Merlin had magic, but never did she think for a moment he had this. An enormous storm of power was raging all around him, bursting from within. He was filled with such magnificent energy, a glorious sight to behold. The magic he called upon, he was doing things she had only ever believed Morgause capable of.

How little they all knew him. No, they didn't know him at all. To them he was just a sweet, bumbling servant. Loyal, Merlin. Caring, Merlin. At times dense, Merlin.

As she looked at him now, she realized he had been hiding every bit as much as she had. All that power, all that magic, trapped and stifled inside with none the wiser. She didn't know whether to resent him or love him more – if she was honest, it was both. He too suffered, in such a way they could share, and yet never said a word. All that time, right beside her. Perhaps he did value her too little. Or perhaps she was not sympathetic enough.

The air around them pulsed alive as they called upon elements that uprooted the very foundation of life. Merlin stumbled under a barrage of Morgause's attack. She was using a spell she considered one of her favorites, Morgana had seen it several times before, a turmoil of wind and lightning that formed a glowing red spiral and threatened to consume whatever was in its path. Merlin was straining to push it back, but Morgause was winning, her power was too much for him. He shook his head, as though to clear it, and tried harder, but the tornado just inched closer and closer. Morgana's heart dropped out.

Merlin was going to lose.

In the battle, they had turned themselves around. Merlin stood a few feet away from her, while Morgause was on the opposite side. It took everything she had to move. The pain in her head was so intense she could not stand, could hardly see, but she needed to help him. It was all she knew.

Crawling with unbearable slowness, Morgana managed to reach him on her hands and knees. With her last bit of strength, she reached up and clasped his hand tightly. Merlin startled at the touch and tried to yank away from her, but she held fast. He was torn between holding Morgause back and trying to shake Morgana off.

"TAKE IT!" she shouted over the pandemonium.

Something was dripping into her eyes, she knew it was blood, but didn't care. Morgause couldn't win.

"WHAT?" he screamed back.

Wind whipped around her violently, her hair was in her face, she could feel the swirling magic crackle against her skin. They couldn't see Morgause anymore, she had disappeared behind the onslaught bearing down on them.

Morgana had no voice left and instead she did as her sister had taught her. Closing her eyes, she focused on that tell-tale place deep within her, the one she had so long forced down, so long repressed. Of fear. Of shame. She let herself connect with it, let it flow into her in a steady stream, let it swell until she could hold it no longer and then with all her might, she pushed it out of her and into him.

Merlin gasped, their joined hands began to surge with a brilliant golden light. She knew he was feeling it. Instead of trying to pull away from her now, he latched onto her hand with a fierce grasp, and suddenly the wind died away.

Morgause's voice was heard across the chasm, yelling in frustration. Morgana tried not to listen and kept her focus on their connection, continually pouring her magic into Merlin. Apparently, he was a quick learner, because he soon figured out how to draw it from her, to let it flow between them, instead of having it be done with force. The one arm she held herself up with trembled violently under her weight, but she had to hold on, just a little longer. Merlin could do it.

Then the blinding red light was gone and Morgause was standing across from them, breathing hard, and looking utterly worn. Her gaze snapped straight to their hands and she screamed with rage.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

It tore her heart to hear such devastation in the voice of the woman she loved so dearly. Tears fell hotly onto her cheeks, but she never let go of Merlin.

"I am sorry, my sister, but the world can never be the way you wish it."

Suffused with the addition of Morgana's magic, Merlin was nearly exploding with power. Just before he released it in a terrible barrage, the other woman set her arms down in defeat, knowing she was lost. Brilliant purple lightning struck down from the sky and collided with the magic springing forth from Merlin's outstretched hand. It was a thunderous crash and for one terrifying moment, the cottage was so filled with fire and light that Morgana had to turn away.

It was as though someone had tried to split the earth open.

Then it was over. Morgause was there no more. There was no light. No magic. They were alone in the darkness with the moon shining above them, lingering in that period before the dawn. It wasn't time to leave and yet it stayed a bit too long, as though stretching itself by extraordinary measure just to glimpse the sun. The cottage had been blown to pieces and hardly even a foundation remained. Bits and pieces were strewn about for as far as she could see across the meadow.

Morgana released Merlin and finally collapsed to the ground. It didn't hurt so much anymore, she felt like she was just drifting away. There was darkness, one that had nothing to do with the night, trying to take over now. She knew when she gave in, it would be the last time she ever closed her eyes.

Someone took her into their arms and she wished it was Arthur, but knew that couldn't be true. Words whispered into her soothingly and then she started to feel very warm, almost uncomfortably warm. It was as though life was rushing back into her, what was once hazy and intangible now burst forth with shocking realness. She was present in the world once again.

With a jerk, Morgana sat up, gulping down the cool air of the early morning. Her heart raced wildly and she tried to calm her body from the severe stress it had just endured. The pain was gone, replaced only with a bone weary exhaustion. Her gaze landed on the place where she saw Morgause last. Only a black little patch of earth marked where her sister had once been. It was all that was left of her now.

Tears fell endlessly, silently, wretchedly.

Long, wiry arms surrounded her.

"I killed her. She was all I had, Merlin, and I killed her."

"She was never all you had."

He sounded as though he was so much older – was wise the right word? No wonder Morgana had never questioned him before, how could you not believe every word that man said?

Then he was gone and she stared a few moments longer at the scorched earth before looking round for where he'd gone. She saw him crouched over a body a few feet away and remembered.

Frantically, she leapt to her feet and went to his side. Arthur was on his back, his skin an unspeakable shade of gray. There was a dark puddle at his side that she knew was his blood. She touched his cheek and wished she hadn't, he was so cold. Merlin had removed the wood that impaled him and now his hands were on Arthur's forehead, eyes closed in concentration, as he fiercely spoke an enchantment.

She did not deserve to have any of her prayers answered, for all that she had done, the world should banish her to the pits of hell, but if any goodness existed… even the slightest bit of it… Please.

Please. Don't let him be taken. Please.

It was all she could think, over and over, just that one word.

Please.

Merlin opened his eyes in frustration. She knew whatever it is he tried, it had not worked.

"Dammit, Arthur," he said, "Not again."

He said another incantation, and for one long moment it seemed as though that too had failed. Then she felt a spark, magic ignited between the two men, and Merlin fell back heavily. He was weak and exhausted, but smiled at her.

The color was back in Arthur's face now. She could see the slight rise and fall of his chest, whereas before he had been inhumanly still. At last, she could breathe again. She hadn't even realized she was holding it until she sucked some oxygen to her burnings lungs. With sobbing relief, she fell over his chest and clutched him fiercely.

"He'll wake in a bit," Merlin said reassuringly. "He always takes his precious time coming round."

Morgana heard him speaking, but he sounded so far off. All she could see was Arthur's sleeping face, all she could feel was him beneath her fingers. She leaned forward brushed her lips against his, wanting nothing more than to feel him respond and nothing more than for him not to.

It was with drowning despair that she knew what she had to do.

Merlin was too weak to even stand, healing them both had taken a great toll on him. So Morgana cleared the area away as best she could, and used some of the broken wood from the destroyed house to start a fire. They spoke little, only when he would continually reassure her that Arthur was going to be alright. She believed him.

They didn't speak of anything else, probably because neither was quite ready for that yet. No more secrets left now. They each knew the most intimate part of the other, a part that had so long been hidden away. It was both exhilarating and frightening to have yourself so exposed to another.

Really… what would they have said anyway?

Daylight was starting to break over the horizon and she urged Merlin to rest because of all that he had been through. He didn't refuse, as it was he could hardly hold his eyes open.

Lingering over Arthur for just a little longer, she committed every line to memory as though it hadn't been already. He had always been an attractive boy, even as a child, they used to say he had the face of angel. How she loved to tease him for that. Then he grew into a man, one of the most handsome of men, and he knew it. So cocksure and arrogant, Morgana often despised his attractiveness simply because he knew she thought so. All her taunting when they were children came back tenfold on her as Arthur would smirk and constantly accuse her of fawning over him. Never did she want to wring his neck more. How dare he think she desired him? How dare she let it be true?

And it was true, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise. She did desire him, so much to the point of embarrassment, which made her rebel against it all the more. It wasn't as though he ever made it easy. He really was an insufferable prat. And she would never love another man more.

At last, Morgana tore away, no tears now, just a grim determination. She searched the lightening landscape for some sign of their horses that had broken free in the chaos. Hopefully, there would still be one nearby otherwise she would have a much worse journey before her.

She slipped away into the thick of the forest.