An obnoxiously loud ringtone awoke Castiel in the early hours the following morning. He could tell it was still early because the sky was only just starting to turn orange from the sunrise and the birds were tweeting offensively noisy in the nearby forest. Somehow in their sleep, the two men had arranged themselves so Dean was against the back rest of the seat, with Castiel in front of him cocooned in Dean's arms. He was hyper aware of their naked forms as he came to his senses, feeling Dean's warmth radiate onto his back. If it weren't for the ringing, Castiel could have easily snuggled back into Dean's arms and slept some more even if it meant his legs were cramped from being curled up for too long.

"Dean." Castiel whispered, "Let me go."

"No." Dean mumbled as he tightened his hold, "Stay."

Castiel grunted in frustration as he tried to pull free. When Dean finally did unravel his arms, Castiel leant over the front seat and searched through his jacket for his phone. Once found, he glanced down at the screen only to see ten new messages and fifteen missed calls. Worried, he unlocked his phone only to see that the majority of the calls he had missed were from Jo and two from Balthazar. The messages were from Jo yelling at him to pick up his phone as well as a notification that he had multiple voicemails.

With the voicemail number dialled, Castiel sat back on the seat where Dean still slept and entered his pin to listen to them.

The first was from Balthazar,

"Morning Darling, I know it's early but I thought I'd ring you, I'm not surprised you haven't answered but I thought I'd try anyway. It was meant to be a surprise but I'm on my way down to see you! I'm just getting on the plane now so hopefully by the time I've landed you'll be awake. I'll see you soon, Cassie!"

Castiel's jaw dropped, unable to process what he had heard. He was dimly aware of the voice giving him instructions but he must have been silent for too long as it moved on to the next message.

"I guess you're not awake yet, I've just got a car and driving down now. See you in a couple of hours!"

Castiel quickly made his way out of the car, startling Dean in the process.

"Woah, where's the fire?" Dean sleepily asked.

Castiel didn't answer, instead he was running around the car in search of his clothes. He cringed when he found them, covered in dew but he was far from caring as he pulled them on – he had bigger things to worry about.

"Dean, we have to go." Castiel replied as he pulled on his shirt.

"What why?" Dean asked sitting up.

Castiel grabbed Dean's pants and threw them at the other man as he replied, "Because my fiancé is on his way down here."

"So?" Dean asked his voice hard.

Castiel stopped and stared at Dean with hard eyes, "So I'm still engaged to him, Dean! What we did wasn't alright! I cheated on him! I am not that person!"

"Well you cheated on me with him!" Dean tried to reason.

"That was different, Dean! We were separated. We are all but divorced and we would actually be divorced if you would stop being so pig headed!" Castiel screamed back. He was beyond frustrated now. He was confused and feeling guilty about what they had done and he knew it wasn't Dean's fault but Dean was there and it was so much easier to just blame him than to admit he was the one in the wrong.

"How is that different? I fucking love you Cas, and I know you love me! You wouldn't have let me do what we did if you didn't!" Dean retorted.

"Oh don't start that," Castiel growled, "Don't act like what happened actually meant something. It didn't." Castiel knew he was hitting Dean where it hurt and he knew that it did mean something to both of them but there was no way he was admitting that, not with Balthazar on his way. He was happy with Balthazar, he would never be happy with Dean. "We were just vulnerable and confused with our feelings, first love and all that," Castiel dismissed.

Dean scoffed, "Do you actually believe a single word coming out of your mouth right now? Because I'm not buying it. Last night meant something to you and you can try and deny it all you want but it's not going to work on me Cas. I know you too well. I know you're lying to me and to yourself."

"You don't even know me anymore, Dean! You don't know one thing about me!" Castiel yelled, "I am a completely different person, successful even. I have people who would do anything for me back home and I have a man who loves me unconditionally on his way down here right now so please will you do as I ask and drive me home!"

"No." Dean gritted through his, "Not until you tell me the truth."

"I am telling you the truth!" Castiel screamed, "But once again you aren't listening!"

"Not buying it."

"Well I'm sorry but I'm telling you the truth. I do not want a relationship with you. Last night was just sex and that's where it stops."

Dean looked up at him with a hurt expression, searching Castiel's face for any sign of deceit.

"You don't mean that." Dean murmured, "You can't mean that."

"Just drive me home, Dean," Castiel replied cooly before he silently rounded the car and slid into the passenger seat.

Not once did he turn to look to see if Dean was doing as he asked, instead he was looking through the messages on his phone from his sister. At first, they had been asking what had happened progressing towards assuming that something had happened between them before they dissolved into Jo demanding where Castiel was. With a sigh, Castiel pressed the call button and pressed his phone to his ear.

"Jesus Christ, Cas! Where the fuck are you?" His sister yelled into his ear.

"I'm on my way back now." Castiel replied as he looked across to the driver's door where Dean had just climbed in, a scowl on his face. He was upset and angry, Castiel could see that, and Dean had every right to be but Castiel didn't have the energy or the time to placate Dean. He had to worry about the fact his fiancé was on his way to see him and he had just cheated on him with his ex-husband whom he didn't know existed.

"Thank God for that!" Jo replied, "I thought maybe you'd run off again and left me to deal with all your shit."

"No Jo." Castiel replied, "I haven't run off. Dean is going to drop me home soon." He gnawed on his lower lip debating whether or not to tell her before he just blurted it out, "Balthazar is on his way down."

"What?!" Jo shrieked causing Castiel to pull his phone away from his ear with a wince, "Your fiancé is coming and you just spent the night with Dean?! Jesus fuck Cas, you've really put your foot in it this time."

"Jo please." Castiel begged, "I can't deal with this right now. If he shows up just tell him I went out for a walk or something."

His sister scoffed, "Great now you've got me lying for you."

"Please." he pleaded.

"Fine." she pacified, "But only because you're my brother."

"Thank you. I'll be home soon."

The drive back to town was silent and most definitely the most awkward drive of Castiel's life. The whole way he was so worried about what would happen when Balthazar showed up, if he would be able to lie his way out of it or whether it would be best to just tell Balthazar the truth. Castiel hadnever been the type of person to cheat on their partner. His parents had raised him to know better than to cheat and now that he had turned into the type of person that had, he had no idea what to do. He hated himself for it. He felt dirty and like the lowest of the low. There was no way out of it, he was not about to start his life with Balthazar on a lie. It was one moment of weakness and there was no way he was going to repeat it.

When they arrived at the house, Castiel felt his stomach leap into his throat as he saw the Lexus parked in the driveway. There was no doubt it was Balthazar's, nobody in town owned a car like that.

The roar of the Impala's engine must have alerted his family because the next thing he knew, everyone was outside to see them come back. His mother had a disapproving frown on her face with her arms crossed over her chest, his father an unreadable expression that was somewhere between disapproval and confusion while his sister was there next to Balthazar who had a confused expression which formed into a grin once he saw Castiel. It only made Castiel feel even guiltier to see him.

As soon as the vehicle stopped moving, Castiel was out of the car and walking up the driveway to greet his fiancé.

"Cassie!" Balthazar greeted wrapping his arms around Castiel and kissing him deeply on the lips. It felt completely wrong and it made Castiel sick to his stomach causing him to pull away. Balthazar didn't seem to notice instead he looked past Castiel towards the road. "Who's your friend?" he asked causing Castiel to wince.

Before Castiel could reply, Dean did it for him, "Dean Winchester." he greeted, "Castiel's now ex-husband." The divorce papers were shoved into Castiel's chest with a shove causing him to stumble back slightly.

"W-what?" Balthazar stuttered before him, "Husband? I'm sorry have I missed something? I didn't know you were married?"

Castiel was stood dead in his tracks gaping like an idiot. He had no idea how to respond. Balthazar was here demanding answers while Dean had just signed the divorce papers while outing his biggest secret in front of his fiancé.

"Well we aren't now. Have a good life, Castiel." Dean growled with a ferocious expression that actually scared Castiel. He had never seen Dean look at him like that and it made his heart ache to see it now.

Dumbfounded, Castiel watched as Dean stormed down the driveway back to the Impala before he ripped open the door and shoved himself inside. He tore off with his tires screeching down the road until he hung a right and disappeared out of sight. Castiel hadn't noticed his hands were shaking until he tried to rearrange the papers in his hands to actually look at them. In his attempts, he ended up just dropping them all.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Balthazar roared behind him, "You're fucking married?" he yelled, "Were you going to tell me this before or after the wedding?"

"I-I," Castiel stuttered, his brain trying and failing to catch up with the conversation, "I can explain..." Castiel got out his voice small and broken, "Please let me explain."

"Is that why you weren't returning my calls? Because you were too busy shacked up with him!?" Balthazar yelled, as he stepped away from Castiel, his hands running through his hair.

Tears started to well up in Castiel's eyes as he stood there unable to formulate words.

"Tell me, Cas, did you sleep with him?" Balthazar asked softly but Castiel could tell he already knew the answer, he just wanted to hear Castiel say it.

It took a moment for Castiel to collect his thoughts but he knew there was no point in denying it. Balthazar was mad at him already for lying about being married to Dean, Castiel sleeping with him may make him angrier but at least it would all be out there in the open.

"Yes." Castiel whispered.

"For fuck's sake." Balthazar breathed as he ran a hand through his hair, "You know I never thought my mother would be right. She said that you were hiding something from the moment she met you but I just thought she was being a paranoid, overprotective, old git but apparently she was right."

The tears were flowing freely from Castiel's eyes now. He had nothing, he was nothing. Balthazar was going to leave him, Dean had divorced him leaving him with nothing.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to find out this way." Castiel tried to reason, "I should've told you from the start I know that now but I didn't think it would matter."

"You didn't think it would matter!?" Balthazar yelled once more causing Castiel to wince, "You are fucking married to another person, Castiel. Of course it fucking matters!"

Castiel sniffled as his hands came up to his face and tried to wipe the tears away. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as more tears replaced the ones he wiped away.

"I'm sorry.." Castiel repeated, "I really am sorry."

Balthazar shook his head as he wiped his mouth angrily, "I think you're just sorry you got caught."

Castiel looked up at Balthazar with wide eyes shaking his head, "No, no." he tried to reassure, "That's not what happened, please can we just go inside and I'll tell you everything, please?"

For a moment, Castiel actually believed that Balthazar would agree and let Castiel explain but the second Castiel saw Balthazar shake his head and look to his car, he knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Please." Castiel tried one more time.

"I'm sorry, Castiel, there's a lot of things I can forgive but lying about being married and then sleeping with that person aren't forgivable. I think it's best if we just call it all off now."

"No, please, Balth..." Castiel pleaded grabbing onto Balthazar's arm as he turned to walk towards his car.

Much to Castiel's heartache, Balthazar pulled his arm free, "Goodbye, Castiel."

Castiel watched as Balthazar climbed into his Lexus and backed out of the driveway, his feet stuck to the ground unable to do anything more. When his car was out of sight, Castiel stooped down to retrieve the papers that Dean had signed and shoved at him earlier. There in black and white, Dean had signed the papers. They were done, over, no more. Castiel should have felt relieved that finally, Dean was out of his life but now his relationship with Balthazar had crashed and burned and he wanted nothing to do with him. In the haze of it all, Castiel wasn't sure what hurt more; the divorce or Balthazar leaving him.

Over the next couple of days, Castiel barely spoke a word to anyone. His family tried to console him but he would block them out, unable to speak about what had happened. It was bad enough that he had been dumped but to be dumped while his family stood there and watched? Humiliating.

His mother would bring him his favourite comfort foods but he barely touched them. He couldn't bring himself to enjoy them. He deserved what had happened. He had cheated, he had lied, there was no way he deserved Balthazar and he didn't deserve Dean either.

When Jo came in on the Monday morning, Castiel had managed to get himself together enough to pack his gear up to leave. His flight wasn't until the evening but he just wanted to put it all behind him and get back to New York where he could wallow in self-pity until Gabriel forced him on a bender.

"Cas, you should go see him." Jo spoke softly as she sat down on his bed.

Castiel eyed her warily, "See who Jo? Dean? I don't think so. I think he made it quite clear he wanted nothing to do with me. They both did."

He continued to pack, ignoring his sister until she grabbed his hands and forced him to stop, "Dean didn't make anything clear. He did something in the heat of the moment and Dean being Dean, he's probably off doing the exact same thing you are – feeling sorry for himself. You've both been through this once, Cas, don't do it to yourselves again."

Castiel eyed his sister for a moment. He didn't really want to believe her. Dean may have signed the papers in the heat of the moment but he wouldn't have done it if he didn't want it. Not something that big. However, as he looked at his sister who had mastered the puppy-dog look, he knew he wouldn't be able to leave without going and at least seeing Dean one more time.

"Fine..." he resigned, "I'll go and see him."

"Good." she smiled as she stood to her feet, "I'll drive you."

Castiel rolled his eyes but didn't protest as he followed his sister outside. He caught sight of himself in the mirror as he walked out and he looked as bad as he felt. There were bags under his eyes that were bloodshot and red, his face was covered in scruff after not shaving the past couple of days and he looked absolutely miserable. Maybe Dean would talk to him out of pity.

The drive over, Castiel tried to gather his thoughts as to what he would actually say to Dean but he couldn't think of anything. He had no idea how he could explain anything to Dean. After what happened with Balthazar, he wasn't in any state of mind to be mending things with Dean but he knew what had happened the other night wasn't just a one off thing. He had tried to bury the feelings he'd felt for Dean for too long and in a moment of weakness they all came rushing back. There would be no way he would be able to bury them for a second time.

Before Castiel realised, they were outside of the shed that Dean had brought Castiel to the previous night. It looked a lot different during the day but Castiel could still recognise it. The first three bays had their front rollers open and Castiel could see a couple of people meandering around inside. Clearly Dean was doing a lot better than Castiel had expected.

It took him a moment, but once Castiel gathered his wits, he climbed out of the truck and headed towards the garage. Dean's truck was there so Castiel knew the other man would be inside.

"Hey what can I help you with?" a woman with bright red hair and a t-shirt that said 'WWHD' in big letters before underneath it in smaller writing 'What Would Hermione Do?'.

Castiel eyed the small wiry girl for a second, before he answered, "I'm actually looking for Dean."

Her expression changed in an instant to something dark, "Uh Dean's a little indisposed at the moment. Had a rough weekend and I don't think he's up to visitors right now. Is there something I can help you with?"

Castiel shook his head, "No I really just need to see Dean. It's kind of important."

The redhead shook her head, "Look I'm sorry but there's no way you can see him today."

Just as she finished speaking, there was an almighty crash, the sound of breaking glass before the back door of the workshop opened and in stepped Dean who had a feral look on his face, sweat covering his skin and when Castiel looked a little closer, blood dripping from his knuckles.

"As I said, he's not up for visitors," the woman said breaking Castiel out of his trance of watching Dean as he disappeared through a side door, slamming it behind him. A moment later, the sound of a truck starting up caused Castiel to look outside only to see Dean roar off in his truck, a cloud of dirt in his wake.

His head was telling him to just leave but his gut was telling him to investigate where Dean had come from. Against better judgement, he listened to his gut and headed towards the back door.

"Woah, woah where do you think you're going?" the red head asked, "You're not allowed back there."

"Look," Castiel said, "I just need to look outside and then I'll be out of your hair okay?"

The redhead looked a little hesitant but she nodded anyway and let Castiel lead the way to the back door. When they got into the rear yard, Castiel's heart broke for the third time in as many days. There in front of him was the car Dean had taken and repaired only now, the Impala was shattered to pieces once more. It was if someone had taken a crowbar to it and beaten it until they couldn't do it anymore. All the windows were smashed, the tyres slashed and the paint scratched and dented. One of the windows had just one hole straight through the middle with blood on the shards of glass. Clearly Dean had punched his fist through it.

Castiel felt sick. Tears blurred his vision and he knew just looking at the beaten up car that what he and Dean had was well and truly over.