Sadly, things rarely went as planned.
Chandler had tried to convince his mother that Bradley was married and had hidden kids, but she had laughed it off, and Brian had almost hit Chandler again for that one. Helen had interrupted their conversation and Chandler had never been more thankful to see her.
The next day, Bradley had convinced Nora to fire her for being a bad influence on Chandler as he was supposed to leave for College the year after, which meant he would need to be independent, and having someone doing all the chores in the house wouldn't help him.
Chandler indirectly responded to Bradley by having Monica over even more often than before. The cleaning part wasn't wanted, but Monica was being more and more obsessive about cleaning. Chandler first found it cute, then he had to admit it was becoming annoying. When he understood that she hadn't suddenly become obsessed with cleaning, but had moved her obsession with eating to cleaning, he stopped thinking it was bad. She was doing her best, and he admired her for losing so much weight in so little time. He could understand that she needed to replace eating with something else. Cleaning was pretty harmless in the list of things she could have become obsessed with.
And who was he to judge the habit of cleaning when he was smoking more and more? His smoking habits were linked to how much he saw of Bradley's face in the day. It was increasing more and more as days passed.
Chandler changed his strategy after getting Helen fired – he tried to track her down to apologize, but he wasn't entirely sure of what to say, and Bradley had made sure that he wouldn't be able to find her again – because he didn't want anyone else to be hurt. Himself and Helen were enough.
He tried telling his mom that he wouldn't visit from College if Bradley was here, but she dismissed it again by simply answering that she would be the one visiting him, probably while she was on book tours.
He called his father a couple more times while he was trying to break his mother and Bradley up – sometimes, he hated himself for wanting this, but never as much as he hated Bradley, so he never stopped – and each time, Charles tried to talk to his son about something else than Bradley, but Chandler would always shut down. Each new phone call was getting longer compared to the last, though.
Chandler sighed as he changed the TV channel every other second, waiting for his mother to be home. Monica would be here soon, but he still wanted to try something before she came.
Finally, Nora opened the front-door and Chandler ran to it, helping her with her coat.
"Okay, okay, I know we've had this conversation a million times," Chandler started, and she rolled her eyes, already knowing he would try to convince her to break up with Bradley. "But, and I want you to really think about it, are you really sure you're ready to spend your time only with him? I mean, think about it, you've had trouble having one partner at the same time in the past already, do you really want to keep only one partner for the rest of your life?"
She actually seemed to consider it more than she had ever thought about anything he had said on Bradley before.
She still laughed, in the end. "Sweetheart, I'm not some horny teenager anymore."
"Mom, I've been the horny teenager in the house, but you still needed more sex than I ever did." As much as he didn't want to think about it, it was true. Disturbing, but true. Disgusting to talk about with his mom, but still true. He had way too much knowledge of her sex life.
"Okay, I'll give you that one. But I'm still marrying him."
"Come on! You cheated on Dad at your wedding!"
"Chandler," she smiled, "We were young and I found out I was pregnant, so we got married. Neither of us wanted this, and we both knew how it would end. But it was the thing society wanted us to do. I chose to marry Bradley, and he's lovely. I haven't cheated on him...ish..."
"Ah! You cheated on him! What would he think of that?!"
"We weren't really involved... Oh and there was that threesome, but that's not cheating. I mean, he was in it, so that's definitely not cheating."
Chandler made noises to stop her, not wanting to know more than he already knew about her sex life. "But won't you get bored?"
Nora didn't answer, thinking. She took a deep breath, staring right into Chandler's eyes. "Okay, answer honestly. Do you want someone else than Monica?"
"What? No!"
"Do you mind that she's the only girl in your love and sex life?"
"Of course not!" Chandler instantly answered, not even trying to explain to his mother that he was still a virgin. Then, he got her point. "Oh. You really love him..."
"I'm afraid I do." She patted his knee. "Can you please stop trying to find ways of breaking us up? It's getting a bit ridiculous sometimes."
"Yeah," he shrugged.
She didn't stay much longer, and he was glad she left.
His energy from the previous weeks turned into exhaustion as he realized that his mother was happy and in love. He couldn't take that away from her.
When Monica arrived, not long after, he held her closely. Then she pushed him, and cleared her throat, avoiding his gaze.
"What's happening?" he tried to ask without letting his panic show, but it did anyway.
"Chandler, there's something..."
"Oh God no," he whispered, stiffening. She wasn't going to break up with him, was she? She couldn't. He needed her.
"It's okay," she quickly said, taking his hands to drag him to the couch. He sat reluctantly, refusing to let go of her hands. "It's just... I have to tell you something, but please don't be mad..."
He swallowed and nodded, because apparently his mouth couldn't function even for one word. This was it, she was going to leave him the same way everyone did. He had acted too weirdly lately, he had hidden things from her and she had noticed and now wanted to stop seeing him.
"I'm not, er, ready..." she said, and he frowned.
"Ready for what?" To be with him?
"For... You know..." He shook his head. No, he didn't know! "For sex," she muttered in a way he almost couldn't hear her.
"What?" was his only answer, the final 't' sound not even making it out of his mouth. He looked stupid.
"I'm not comfortable with having sex," she said, more clearly this time.
He blinked a few times, unsure of what to say, then decided to speak his mind. "Where is this coming from?"
She hesitated, but finally looked down, chewing her lip. "I saw the condom in your wallet." His what now? "But I don't want to... have sex as long as I don't feel comfortable enough with my body."
"Hey," he smiled when he understood the problem. He cupped her face so she would look at him. "I don't want to have sex with you." At her frown, he realized it really didn't sound as good as he had thought it would. "I mean, of course I want to have sex with you! Not that we should! But I want! But, like, not... Oh God."
He put his hands on his face, then took a deep breath to clear his mind. When he looked at Monica again, she seemed to be smiling. He took her hands again, looking straight into her eyes.
"What I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't say no to sex with you. But I don't expect you- I don't expect us to be having sex."
She blushed and smiled sheepishly. "But you have a condom..."
He sighed, letting his head fall on his chest. "Okay, please don't judge me... When I told my mom you were my friend, she instantly gave me a condom. I wasn't even thinking about being with you... Scratch that, I had a crush on you, but I never expected anything from you concerning this. I'm not keeping it to use. I'm serious, I don't want to think of my mom the first time I have sex because she gave me that stupid condom."
"Really?" Monica asked, now smiling happily.
"Really," he nodded, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Mon', I'm not going to force you into doing something you're not comfortable with."
There was a silence as both processed what Chandler had just said. "What did you just say?" Monica finally asked.
"N-nothing. I... I-I just want you to feel comfortable." He was panicking. He needed to get out of this situation in some way. Had he really just said that he loved her?
"You said you loved me!" Oh, yeah he had. And she had totally heard.
"No I didn't!" he poorly tried to defend himself.
"It's okay," Monica smiled. "I... I love you, Chandler."
He hadn't known if Monica felt the same way he did, but he suddenly wasn't sure how to breathe. His heart seemed to implode inside his chest, and he was overwhelmed by the certitude that someone loved him. He had never felt that way.
"You do?" he finally asked, as if not wanting to believe that it was possible for him to feel like this.
"After what you've said? Even more so."
They smiled at each other, both so stupidly happy and trying to get accustomed to the fact that the other felt the same way they did.
Chandler's mother had been right, he was in love with Monica, and he wouldn't want anyone else than her.