Thanks to Gredelina1 for the beta job and general awesomeness.
Once again your response to the story has knocked my socks off. I always loved this plot but I didn't think it would translate well with the confusion to readers. The fact you're all trusting me to explain all is fantastic. This is the chapter in which questions start being answered.
Chapter Ten — Story Telling
August 1997 ~ Bella is Nine
Edward
I had known the day would come when I would have to tell Bella the truth about who and what I was, and I knew it was that summer, but I wasn't prepared for it. I had thought it would come on my own terms, when I was ready to share the information, but, of course, Bella caught me off guard.
It had become what I had dubbed the summer of questions, from How did the first chess game start and how did they know the rules? to Why does it always rain so bad in Forks? For some things, I had answers, for others, I was at a loss.
I knew there was a new question coming for me. Bella had certain tells, and the one that preceded a question was a deep breath and palms laying flat on her knees, as if she was bracing herself for an answer she wasn't sure she would like. She tossed aside the daisy chain she had been working on. "Edward," she said, a smile curling around my name the way it always did, "what are you?"
"I'm Edward," I said evasively.
Her smile grew and she nudged my arm with a small fist. "I know that. I mean why are you different?"
"How am I different?"
Her eyebrows rose. "You're cold. You're hard. You are the same every summer. You have funny eyes. And…" she drew in another deep, dramatic breath, "you sparkle!"
I sighed and leaned back. It was time. "I am different."
"Well, duh."
"And that difference makes me dangerous."
She yawned widely.
"Bella, do you know what a vampire is?" I asked hesitantly.
She nodded. "Yeah. I saw a movie about them once when Mom was busy and I had the flu so I was sleeping on the couch. They have teeth like a dog. They suck blood from pretty women, and they turn into bats."
I paused for a moment to let that little nugget of Hollywood stupidity to sink in. "Okay. So, one of those things are true."
"The bats?" she asked hopefully.
I smiled fondly. "No, Bella, not the bats."
She sighed.
"The point is, there are TV vampires, and there are real vampires."
She looked thoughtful. "What's a real vampire, then?"
"Well, they have normal teeth. They don't turn into bats. They can suck blood from pretty women or men, but some choose not to." I pulled in a breath before I shared the next details that would tip her off. "They are cold, and their skin is pale and hard, like a stone. They have different color eyes—red, gold or black—and the sun makes them sparkle."
I watched her carefully, waiting for the moment realization would sink in. It didn't take long. She looked me up and down. "Oh. That's what you are."
I nodded.
"Wow." She didn't look afraid, but she didn't look overly calm either. "So, do you suck blood from pretty ladies?"
"No, Bella. I suck blood from animals. I don't hunt people."
She looked thoughtful. "What kind of animals?"
"Deer, bears, mountain lions, anything we can find in the forest really. Mountain lions are my favorite."
"Rabbits?"
I chuckled. "No, they would be like a spoonful of soup to us. Not worth the hassle of catching."
"Hmm. Okay."
The complete lack of fearful reaction was not unexpected—she had always accepted it all so easily—but in that moment, I wished for one. I knew the facts, whatever happened, happened, but I was seized by an idea. If I could just make her see how dangerous it was to be around me, perhaps I could change her future. It had to be worth trying if it would save her life.
"I am dangerous," I said in a low growl.
She looked up at me, no trace of fear in her eyes. "You are?" She sounded doubtful, as if she just couldn't imagine it.
"I am stronger than you can imagine, I am faster and more powerful and…" my tone became angry, "I am a monster that you should avoid, not make daisy chains with."
She leaned away from me slightly, a strange expression on her young face. I didn't think it was scared, but it certainly wasn't happy. She looked down at the daisy chain she had been constructing and her brow creased deeper.
"Bella?" I said tentatively, all anger gone from me now.
"You're angry," she said in a small voice.
"Not anymore."
She peeked up at me. "But I made you angry."
I shook my head dolefully. "Not you, Bella. I just… I wish I could make you see that I am not what you think I am. I am dangerous, and you should stay away from me."
She moved to kneel in front of me. Her small hands came up to cup my cheeks and the pads of her thumbs stroked my cheeks. The sensation drove the last of the turmoil from me and the last of the desire to drive her away. I wanted her close, selfish creature that I was. I couldn't bear for our time to be over already.
"Are you going to hurt me?" she asked quietly.
"No, Bella!" I said quickly. "I would never…"
"Are you going to hurt my Dad or Mom? Or Billy and Sarah, or Rachel and Rebecca, or—"
I cut her off. "No, Bella. I don't hurt people. I would never hurt them."
Her hands fell away from my face and she beamed at me. "Then it's okay. It doesn't matter."
"It doesn't matter?" I repeated.
"No. It doesn't matter. It's okay to be different, Edward. My teacher told me everyone is really. You're just extra different." She beamed at me.
I shook my head and smiled. She was magnificent. As if I needed any further proof of what a wondrous creature she was, she had just proven it. I had done something truly good in a past life to be allowed her company now.
My hand came up to cup her cheek and she leaned into my touch, smiling. "Isabella Marie Swan, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met."
She beamed at me, seeming to absorb the moment, and then she said, "So, you want to help me finish my daisy chain?"
I laughed. "Of course, Bella. I would love to help you."
March 2005
Edward POV
She loves me. She loves me. She loves me.
The words were on repeat in my mind as I struggled to comprehend their meaning. It seemed impossible that this amazing creature could possibly love me. It was too much good fortune for one man to have.
Her melodious voice broke through my thoughts and brought me back to the moment. "Are you going to say something?"
I considered carefully. There were hundreds of things I wanted to say and thousands of questions that needed to be asked, but I found myself unable to say anything more than, "I love you, too."
A solitary tear slid down her cheek. "Finally," she choked.
It was the exact same thing Alice had said the night I realized I loved Bella. My momentary lapse from reality had been noticed by both Jasper and Alice and they had wrestled me from the room. Only once I had choked out the words 'I love her' had Jasper relaxed his grip on my arms.
"I don't understand, though, how do you know so much about me?"
She wiped away the tear and smiled up at me. "That's kind of a long story."
"I have plenty of time."
She smiled, as if hearing more in my words than I had intended. "Time," she mused. "That will be a novel concept for us. We've never had enough time before."
My brow creased. She was speaking in riddles.
She saw my confusion and sighed. "I'm sorry. You must be so confused. I'm not used to being the one with all the information. You were always the one that knew everything."
"I don't understand," I said again.
"I know you don't. That's what makes this so hard." She took a deep breath and let it out in a gust. "Come into the lounge." She gestured me ahead of her and I walked into the small room and sat on the couch. "I'll be right back," she promised.
I heard her footsteps as she walked up the stairs and then the sound of wood scraping against wood. I wondered what it was she was bringing to show me.
While she was gone, I looked around the room, using the opportunity to see more of her, before now, mysterious life. On the mantelpiece there was a procession of photographs of her from adorable baby to awkward looking teen. In some, she was alone, in others she was posed with her father and a woman I took to be her mother. She looked a lot like her mother, though she had her father's eyes.
She came back into the room and saw me looking at the photographs. "I keep asking Charlie to take them down but he refuses," she said with a hint of annoyance.
"I'm glad he hasn't. You were an adorable child."
She laughed a short laugh. "I'm glad you think so. It will make things easier for you."
"What's that?" In her arms was the polished wooden chest I had noticed on my visit to her bedroom in the dead of night.
"This is my most prized possession." She sat down on the opposite end of the couch to me and set the box between us. "This should answer some of your questions. However, before I start, I want you to make me a promise."
"Anything," I said with feeling.
"I need you to stay and listen to my explanation and not run away from me."
"Why would I run?" How could I possibly run when being away from her meant leaving my heart behind?
"Because what I am about to tell you is going to sound insane. I need you to promise, or I can't tell you anything."
"I promise."
"Okay, then. You want to know how I know so much?" I nodded. "Well, I know it all because you told me."
"I'm fairly certain I didn't," I said. I was more than fairly certain. I was positive.
She laughed. "You don't remember because it hasn't happened for you yet."
I looked at her blankly, my silence communicating my confusion.
"When I was five years old, I saw you for the very first time."
"You saw me?" I asked incredulously. I couldn't imagine how I could have been close enough to her as a child for her to see me without me noticing her scent.
"Saw you, met you, had a picnic with you, it's all the same thing really."
She was insane. There was no other explanation. There was no way I had met her before now. I would have remembered. I was a vampire with perfect recall; it was impossible for me to forget anything. I wondered how I should approach the issue of my mate being out of her mind; Carlisle would know what to do. He would know the best treatment facilities for her. Perhaps, whatever damage it was would be reversible.
"I'm not crazy." She was frowning slightly. "I told you it would sound insane, but it's the truth. Look."
She opened the wooden chest and I saw a horde of books and papers. Resting on the top was the photograph of me in the garden from Alice's vision. My hand reached out and took it automatically. It was slightly faded with age, but crease free. It was definitely me. I was posed resting back on my elbows and smiling like I had never smiled before. I looked blissfully happy.
"Turn it over," she instructed.
I did and saw an inscription on the back. In the meadow. August 2002. More confusing than the inscription was the fact it was written in my handwriting.
"What did you…? How did you…?" I was unable to complete a thought. Part of me wondered if this was a trick. Another vampire, or someone skilled at forgery could have copied my writing from anywhere. There were certainly enough examples of it in school systems due to our habit of repeating school and college. But why would anyone bother? And where did the photo come from? Why would this glorious creature try to trick me?
"I didn't do anything," she said, a little affronted. "You wrote that in the summer of 2002 after I took the photo. You were there."
"I was with you in the summer of 2002?" I tried to keep the doubt from my voice. "And why don't I remember it?"
"Because it hasn't happened for you yet," she said enigmatically. "At some point in your future you will travel back in time to my childhood."
"H-how?" I stuttered.
"There is a vampire with the ability to manipulate personal timelines. She will send you back in time to 1993 where we will meet and have a picnic in my backyard."
"This is so much…" I got to my feet and began pacing.
"You said you wouldn't leave," she said in a quiet voice.
"Oh, Bella, I'm not leaving, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around this. It seems impossible."
"I have more proof."
She reached into the chest and pulled out a sheet of paper. She handed it to me, and I saw it was a sketch of a garden. It was my own work. There was no question. Esme was always commenting on the way I made my pictures come to life with shading. I held it up to the light and saw the way the grass seemed to wave in the sunlight. I had never seen another's work with the same style. It was unique and it was mine. At the corner of the page was my initials and the date 08/13/2002.
"You drew that in our last summer together," she said.
I exhaled in a gust. She said she had proof and here it was. Though what she was saying sounded insane, there was no doubting it was true now.
"Tell me everything," I begged.
She grinned. "Okay. Here's what I know. When I was five I met you for the first time. I think you were there before that but you stayed hidden. Then you were there every summer until I was fifteen."
"So it was always in the summer that I saw you?"
"Yes. I only ever saw you on my visits to Charlie. I spent the whole year counting down the days till I came back to Forks."
I smiled. I liked the idea that I could bring joy to her life. I would make it my mission in life to bring her more joy from now on.
"Why did I stop coming?"
"Because your family moved to Forks," she said. "There was too much risk of you crossing paths with your present self to risk it."
"And that would have been bad?"
"It would have been very bad, at least according to you. You said there were rules you had to abide by. I spent the last two summers vacationing in California with Charlie. It would have been depressing to be here without you. I barely managed the last two months without losing my mind."
"But I was here all the time."
"You were, but you weren't the right person then. When I last saw you, you looked at me with this intense love that I can't begin to explain. It was as if I was the only thing that existed in your world. When you saw me for the first time in the present, you hated me."
"I never hated—" I began, but she cut me off.
"Of course you did. Who wouldn't? I must have seemed like some demon sent to destroy your world."
I smiled sheepishly. It was almost exactly how I had felt about her when I was in Denali.
"See. You were right to hate me, but that knowledge didn't help me deal with it. I was lonely for a man that I saw nearly every day."
"So now I am the right man?" I asked hopefully.
"In a way you are, yes. In another way I am just as lonely, as you aren't the man I last saw in 2002. That man shared all my memories of our time together. We were one. You're still playing catch-up."
I understood what she was saying, but I didn't like it. I was competing with a version of myself. What I wouldn't give to be the man she knew and that knew her.
"Don't look like that," she said. "I love you equally, you here and now, and the Edward of my past."
"But if you could have him here with you now?" I asked.
"I wouldn't want him." There was no trace of a lie in her eyes. "I have been given a gift. You saw me grow from small child to gawky teenager. Now I get to see you go from Edward who is learning to love me, to the Edward that shares my memories. I get to see you grow too."
"I am not learning to love you. Bella. I already do. Did I ever tell you about vampire mating?"
She shook her head and I smiled. This was something I could do for Bella that my future self couldn't. I would be the first person to share this memory with her.
"When a vampire finds its mate it is forever. It is an instantaneous bond that can only be broken by death. As you are mine, I am yours. There will never be anyone else for me. My family are all mated couples. For the longest time I believed I was to be the lone man forever, but now I have found you, and I swear I have never felt love like it."
She beamed at me. "I can't compare. For as long as I can remember you have been a part of my life. I have always loved you."
"Tell me more about what we did," I begged. I was greedy for anything she would tell me.
"Well, I went through different stages of belief. You were an angel, a ghost, and a fairy."
"A fairy?" I quirked an eyebrow and she smiled at me, abashed.
"You sparkled, what was I supposed to think?"
"When did you find out the truth?"
"The summer I was nine."
"Nine." I sighed heavily. "You must have been so scared."
"Scared?" She laughed. "I was never scared of you, Edward. How could I be when I have known you my whole life? I had years of proof of just how good a person you were. The fact you were a vampire was just a part of who you were."
I sat back down on the couch and stared at her in wonder. She was beyond imagining. I must have done something truly good in a past life if she was my reward.
"There is somewhere I want to show you, but it means being alone with me in the woods. Can you handle it?" she asked.
I considered carefully. Her scent was no less potent than it had ever been, but the fear I had felt when I heard the gunshot and thought it was her had quelled the temptation for now. My body rebelled against any course of action that could take her from me. Even myself.
"I'll be fine," I said with confidence.
"Great. I just need to leave a message for Charlie." She got to her feet and went to the kitchen to jot down a note to her father.
"What will you tell him?" I asked.
"I'll tell him I have gone into the woods with a vampire that thirsts for my blood." She giggled. "Don't worry, Edward. I'll tell him I've gone for a hike. He's used to me disappearing into the woods on a regular basis."
I didn't like the idea of that. There were other dangers in the forest than me. There were animals and other vampires on occasion. "Bella, the woods aren't always safe you know."
She rolled her eyes. "I was wondering when the hair-trigger anxiety was going to make an appearance. Don't worry, Edward, I'm careful."
That didn't reassure me all that much, but I didn't want to spoil the perfect day by arguing with her. I would make my case another time.
She pulled on a jacket and led me out of the house and into the yard.
"Nice, umm… flowers." I said, looking for something to compliment in the scrubby yard.
"Thanks. You helped plant them," she said vaguely. "Here it is." She was pointing to a rough trail between the trees. It didn't look particularly safe.
"Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Positive."
I let her lead me on the path. It was overgrown and she stumbled several times, but always regained her balance well enough. I had noticed her propensity for trips and stumbles before now, and I'd found it amusing. Now it worried me. If she came here alone she could trip and knock herself out. I would have to come back when she was not here and clear the path a little.
After ten minutes of walking through the trees I saw the path ahead start to lighten slightly. A few minutes later Bella came to a halt and gestured me ahead of her. "We're here."
I stopped at the edge of a perfectly circular clearing. It was the scene of the photograph of me Bella had and, I realized with a chill of horror, the scene of Alice's vision of Bella as a newborn. Despite the unpleasant connotations I couldn't deny that it was beautiful. Purple wildflowers bobbed their heads as if in greeting. The lush green grass blanketed the ground, creating somewhere I could happily lay down and lose a few hours. At the centre of the clearing was a perfectly flat boulder sunk into the ground.
"Welcome home, Edward." She spoke so quietly I wasn't sure I was supposed to hear her.
She stepped ahead of me into the sunlight. The sun glinted off her hair, accentuating the gold and red highlights. She was beautiful at all times, but in the sun she was ethereal.
I hesitated before following her. The sun would reach me if I took one more step and my skin would illuminate. Surely she had seen me in the sun before, but I didn't know how she would react to seeing such obvious proof of my differences.
She noticed my delay and held out a hand to me. "It will be okay, Edward."
With reluctant feet I took one step forward and into the light.
"Beautiful," she said in a breathy voice, and then she reached out and touched me.
I had been in physical contact with humans before, though I always tried to prevent it, but nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of her skin against mine. She was so soft and so warm. That was not what shocked me though. It was the spark of electricity that jumped between us the moment she made contact that caught the breath in my throat.
"Huh, that was different," she said in a musing tone.
"You felt that too?" I asked.
"The spark?" she said and I nodded. "I've never felt that before. I wonder if it's because you are really here now, in the right time.
I would have to ask Carlisle about that, I mused to myself, and then I realized I had more to discuss with Carlisle than the phenomenon of electric touches. I had more to discuss with all of my family. How was I to tell them all that Bella had told me? Would she even want them to know the truth? I had so many questions, but I decided to shelve them all in favor of enjoying this perfect moment of time with my Bella.
Bella's grip on my hand didn't loosen. She tugged my hand, indicating that she wanted me to step forward. She led me to the centre of the clearing and then sank down into a sitting position with her legs crossed in front of her. I followed suit and sat with our knees inches apart.
She reached out and took my hand in hers again and traced the palm of my hand. There were no words to describe how it felt to have her warm skin touching mine.
My eyes slipped closed and a satisfied smile rose to my lips.
"Do you trust me?" she asked.
"With my life."
"Then stay perfectly still."
No one could be as still as a vampire. I stopped breathing and locked my limbs in place, becoming a statue. I heard the rustle of fabric as she changed position and then the pleasurable sensations increased as she took my other hand in her own. I opened my eyes and watched as she traced the line of my wrist, turning it over to follow the path of my empty veins up my arms. She was kneeling now, and leaning towards me. I could feel her warm breath fanning over my skin, it was beyond imagining.
She traced the curve of my elbow then travelled to my shoulder. I wanted to ask her what it was that she was looking for, but I didn't want to break the moment. Her hands moved up my neck to my hair. She threaded her fingers through the strands. I was so happy a delighted sigh slipped through my lips.
Then she did something I was not expecting, and that stole my breath once again.
She leaned forwards and pressed her lips to mine.
So… Kisses are happening! Both Bella and I have been waiting a long time for this moment. I because I wanted you all to reach this part of the story and Bella because… well, hormones. Bless her.
Until next time…
Simaril xxx