Lena paced back and forth in front of her four teenagers. She and Stef had talked at length when Stef had come home with Jude, who was sent to his room immediately for getting in trouble at school — plus they wanted to talk to the older children about their role in this situation. This day seemed like it was going to be never-ending. She and Stef still had a lot of thinking to do. They still needed to talk to Callie and Jude about Donald. They needed to talk to the other three children about the potential adoption. It was a lot to take in, and Lena was not at all sure how any of the kids would actually take it.
Stef had stayed outside with Jude long enough for him to calm down — it had taken about thirty minutes, but she had known it was needed on Jude's part. He had barely cried at all about his mother before today, and both moms were glad he was finally starting to grieve instead of act like nothing was wrong. It had been, in many ways, cleansing for the little boy.
They had then gone inside to tell Lena what had happened at school.
Lena had not been pleased — not only was she disappointed in Jude for calling someone a name he apparently had no idea of the meaning of and getting in trouble at school, but she was not happy at all with any of her older kids for teaching him the word and using it to refer to him. Mariana and Brandon, while not in as deep as Callie and Jesus, had also not helped by letting the walking home situation go as it had. Brandon was nearly 18, and knew he was expected to make sure Jude got home safely if she was not at work to bring them home. But at the same time, so did the three younger teens. Honestly, the entire situation had Lena and Stef both torn. All of the children honestly deserved to be in trouble, but Jude was finally coming to terms with the grieving process and Callie was still having trouble adjusting to like without her mother.
"What were you thinking? You have been calling Jude a dildo? Seriously, Jesus, Callie? Seriously?" Lena said as she continued to pace back and forth. The kids knew better than to say anything while Mama was ranting — though she would call it lecturing.
"And Mariana and Brandon, did you seriously think it was okay to let Jude walk home alone? He is ten years old, or do I need to keep reminding you of that little fact?" Lena said.
"Mama, I think you are overreacting a bit," Mariana said. Lena stopped pacing and stared at her daughter.
"How old were you when you walked home alone for the first time, Mariana?" Lena asked.
"I was thirteen. But Mama, seriously, Jude is ten and it's like a mile. I mean, you let Jesus skateboard down the street to the park when he was ten. It's almost the same distance!" Mariana said.
Except, Lena thought to herself, the park was not even a block from their home and she always knew where Jesus was. She had not known where Jude was. She and Stef had thought he was with the rest of the children. Obviously she needed to explain to show Mariana how much of a difference those distances actually were from one another.
"I agree with Mariana. Jude didn't want to ride home with us, so why are we in trouble? And I am pretty sure I have never called him a dildo. Other things, maybe, but not a dildo. Maybe a brat. Maybe an ass. Maybe even a little shit. Maybe a few other not so nice things, but pretty sure I have never called him a dildo," Callie said, without even thinking about what she was saying.
Lena's eyes narrowed.
"Callie, now is not the time for you to have a smart mouth," Lena said calmly, sending a chill down Callie's spin, so similar to the chills her mom used to send through her when she was in trouble.
"I don't …" Callie started to say softly. Then everything changed.
It put Callie in a different place, a different time. It had only been about five weeks, nearly six, since her mom had been killed in the accident. It had been only a few days since she'd been forced to see her father. But her life was different now — but very much the same as it had been a lifetime ago …
Callie stared at her mother defiantly, frustration shrouding her eyes from what was truly in front of her.
"Mom, this is ridiculous! It is not a big deal! Daphne and I are both responsible! I watch Jude all the time when you aren't home. It was just a little alcohol, Mom! Why am I in trouble? I am fifteen years old now! I know how to act responsibly! We were just going to stay at her house and not leave!" Callie screamed at her mother.
"Callie Jacob, I suggest you lower your voice right now. You just turned fifteen two weeks ago and you are sneaking your father's liquor? Why? In what world is that being responsible, young lady?" Colleen asked.
"Why don't you ask my father why he thinks it is necessary to get knock down drunk every waking minute of the day! Why don't you ask him? At least I don't go out and get drunk every single day!"
"Young lady, your father's drinking or not drinking is not your concern. You are a child. Your father and I are the adults. I have had just about enough of your attitude and smart mouth. You are staying home and watching Jude while your father and I go out. Do you understand?" Colleen said to her daughter.
"So you don't trust me to go to my best friend's house, but you want me to watch Jude? How is that fucking fair? Why can't the babysitter watch him like was planned? I have fucking plans, Mom! You are going out with Dad doesn't change the fact I already have plans with Daphne!" Callie screamed.
Colleen stared at her daughter for several moments before walking over to her and pulling her toward her, swatting her several times before letting her go.
"Watch your mouth, Callie Jacob, I am over this attitude. I am disappointed with the way you are acting," Colleen said ominously. Her dark brown eyes clouded with disappointment.
"Why do you have to be such a bitch, Mom?" Callie hissed out quickly, before she even realized what she was saying.
A chill went down Callie's back. It was the moment she knew she was screwed. She realized how much trouble she had just dug up for herself.
"I'm sorry," Callie whispered and tried to back up, away from her mom, afraid to look at her mother because she knew she would be greeted with a look of disappointment. She wasn't afraid of her mother, but she was definitely weary of her now. She'd never been so brazen with her mother. Oh, they had butted heads, but she had never called her mother a bitch or used so many curse words. Not once, in her entire life.
Colleen was having none of that, however, and reached up and gently pulled her chin up so she had no choice but to look at her mother.
"Are you sorry you got caught, are you sorry that you tried to steal the alcohol and take it to Daphne's house, or are you sorry you are treating me with such disrespect?"
"All," Callie whispered.
Colleen wrapped her arms around her daughter.
"At least you are honest. But you are in a lot of trouble, young lady. Let's get this over with, sweetheart," Colleen said, kissing the top of her daughter's head.
It would be the last kiss Callie ever received from her mother, because after Colleen spanked her, Callie had still been angry and had pushed her mother away, refusing to let her kiss her or to allow herself to kiss her mother goodbye. It would be a decision Callie would forever regret.
"Mama …" Marianna said, watching Callie's every move out of the corner of her eye. But it was for naught because Lena had already been watching the teenager closely, the minute Callie had stopped talking mid-sentence, she had known the teen was having a panic attack.
"I know, Miss. Thang. Will you go get Mom? Brandon, Jesus, to your rooms, now, please," Lena said, moving over to the couch where Callie was sitting as the other three teens vacated the room.
"Callie, sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" Lena asked, rubbing Callie's back as her breathing picked up.
This was not the first panic attack Callie had had since coming to live with them, and they never knew what might trigger one. But they were always something that reminded Callie of her mother.
"Hey, love, what's going on?" Stef asked Lena, walking into the living room and sitting on the other side of Callie.
"Panic attack while I was getting onto to the four for letting Jude walk and for the name they've apparently been calling him. I told her right now was not the time for her to have a smart mouth and she just, blanked," Lena explained.
"Cals, I need you to take a deep breath for us," Stef said.
And, as quickly as she had spaced out, Callie came back and looked at Lena, then Stef, and back to Lena.
"I am sorry for making Jude walk home. I don't want to be a disappointment to you, too," Callie cried, wrapping her arms around Lena's waist, sobbing into her shirt, holding on as if her life depended on it.
Because to Callie, it felt like her life did depend on it.