I always loved the internet. It was fun to browse through different blogs and catch up with a bit of news from Twilight Town. I use it often when I visit the Internet Café. Nothing like a hot beverage and browsing online at sunset, when I am at my weakest, to calm down after a week of missions, dodging attacks, being drained from my overuse of shadow manipulation and having Saïx on my back with my late reports. To avoid any suspicion, I normally put on normal clothes because it would look really out of place to be wearing a heavy coat in the middle of a café where everyone could see me. This particular Sunday, however, will continue to haunt me and wish that the internet had never been invented.

"Hey, Xeann," Axel said as he, Xion and Roxas passed me from the Station Tower "What are you doing here in Twilight Town? I thought you'd be in your room with your stack of unfinished reports."

"I don't have a stack and as it so happens, I finished my report this time," I retorted "Well, after fighting with Ebony to not tear it apart."

Ebony seemed to love to tear up paper. Maybe getting her some toys would be convenient.

"So you're picking quite the inconvenient time to be relaxing?" Axel jabbed a thumb towards the sunset.

"No, I normally go to the Internet Café here," I shrugged.

I had never seen Axel tense up so much and his eyes widening dramatically. Xion and Roxas shared a confused frown and I cocked an eyebrow.

"Something wrong there, Flamesilocks?" I teased.

"The internet is the most horrendous thing a person could ever invent," Axel muttered and shuddered, as if the word 'internet' was a forbidden word.

"How can you not like the internet?" I asked incredulously "That's like saying, 'I don't like things that are convenient. And easy. I don't like having access to all of mankind's recorded discoveries at my fingertips. I don't like light. And knowledge.'"

I imitated Axel's voice to the best of my ability but it wasn't that brilliant. It did, however, make Axel step behind the Keyblade wielders.

"Run far and run fast," he whispered "It's evil!"

"Axel, I'm not going to abandon my little weekly activity just because you hate the internet," I folded my arms.

"What's the internet?" Xion asked curiously.

"Come along, I'll show you two," I waved a hand to signal for them to follow me.

"No, you two!" Axel said as he grabbed their hoods so they couldn't move further than a step away from him "Once you get sucked in, there's no getting out!"

"Axel, it's not like the computers are going to eat them," I sighed impatiently.

"No, the internet's going to eat them!"

"You're being ridiculous."

"Trust me, princess, you do not want to expose these poor children to the internet!"

"Well, I never believe something until I see it, so let's go," I raised an eyebrow.

"Just type in my name with Roxas's and search it," Axel instructed "Then you'll see!"

He dragged the Keyblade wielders into a Dark Corridor, leaving me rather befuddled. What could possibly come up if I typed up their names?

Holy Mother of God Almighty, tear my eyes out right now. I closed the window with heated cheeks and covered my eyes.

"I really didn't need to see that," I whimpered underneath by breath then grabbed my coffee, chugging it down.

I coughed slightly and shook my head to get rid of the images that now loitered in my memories. Seriously?! Who stalks a lanky dude with red spiky hair with his friends, takes pictures of them then draws pictures of them naked, kissing and God knows what else? I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. Thank you, Axel, for ruining the internet for me. I sat back, ordered another coffee then opened a new window to do my usual browsing. But something went wrong, the whole computer screen glitched. I jumped slightly, hoping that I hadn't made the computer get a virus just by looking up Axel and Roxas. The mouse then began moving by itself and soon I ended up on some website with lots of stories and pictures. All related to Organization XIII creepily enough. Have we been breached? I yelped as the screen rippled and a hand came out. The internet really is going to eat me! I fell over in my chair, catching the attention of a few looks as a girl with bright orange hair with blue highlights (seriously, not a good look) and bright sparkly pink eyes crawled out of the computer and blinked prettily at me. Wait, her skin's sparkling too. Is this a Twilight vampire? I scowled at the thought of Twilight. Horrible inaccuracy on every bloody page.

"Who are you, where the hell did you come from and why the sparkles?" I asked as she simpered delicately and gracefully slid the rest of her body from the screen and landed on the floor, winking flirtatiously.

"My name is Amberlicious Skyler!" she curtseyed in her horribly light green mini skirt.

Wow, what kind of parent would name their child that? I got up and backed away uncertainly as everyone else just stared at her.

"How…what…what?" I gaped as I tried to get my mind running properly.

"I'm a Keyblade wielder and I'm the best in the whole universe!" the girl giggled and summoned a bright neon pink and green Keyblade "Ta-dah!"

She tossed her curls (wait, since when where the curls there?) and winked.

"I may look like I'm twelve years old," she said (she acted so much younger though) "But I'm actually eighteen!"

She giggled shyly and bit her lip. I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

"If you wanted applause, I'm afraid you're going to have to turn to children for that," I said coolly.

"Why you!" the girl gripped her Keyblade and began wailing "Why do you have to be so mean?!"

Is she actually crying? Turns out, she was and…her tears were purple. …And sparkly. …And attracted everyone's attention as they crowded around her. Before they could all beat me up (I saw a couple of murderous glints in eyes) I backed out of the café and ran.

"Axel, I forgive you for saying that you hate the internet," I said once I found him in his room "But please, warn me before you tell me to do something like that."

"Ah, I should have known," Axel grimaced "Children always disobey their parents. You naughty girl, Xeann."

"I'm nineteen and you just admitted to being old," I scowled and folded my arms moodily.

"Oi!"

"But something weird happened afterwards," I continued speaking as Axel sat up "Some girl fell out of the computer screen."

"Say what?" Axel raised an eyebrow "Aw, come on, Xeann! Don't tell me any scary stories about the internet. I'm already terrified."

"No, this actually happened," I grimaced "A girl came out of the computer screen. …And somehow she managed to find her way here to the castle."

"What?" Axel stood from his bed.

There was a loud crash from above our heads.

"Death to the Organization!" was the loud cheer which made my spine run cold and my ears ring.

We stared up at the ceiling then looked at one another.

"Axel!" a breathless Demyx ran into the room and slammed the door shut "Run, run for your life! We have a Mary-Sue on the loose in the castle!"

"Mary-Sue?" I frowned as Axel's eyes widened.

"What?" he said and looked down at me "You let a Mary-Sue into our world?!"

"This is all your fault by telling me to search for you and Roxas on the internet!" I jabbed a finger into his chest accusingly.

"You should have never gone on the internet in the first place!" Axel said as he shoved my shoulder.

"The internet was perfectly fine until you gave me your input!" I snarled then turned to Demyx "Demyx, can't we just kill her and get this over with?"

"Mary-Sues are impossible to kill," Demyx said with a nervous look "The last time we had a Mary-Sue on our hands, we managed to hold her down and convert her into a regular person then chucked her into Twilight Town."

"And that was right before she found the computer room to spawn more of her kind," Axel sighed "Speaking of which…the computer room is above my room."

After an awkward moment in silence, I suddenly felt violently sick.

"This is all your fault!" I growled again at him.

"Hey now, let's not start pushing the blame here!" Axel said "Let's get her out of the computer room before…"

"It's too late!" Xigbar shouted as he poked his head through a Dark Corridor "The Mary-Sue has spawned a whole army! We're doomed!"

"Xiggy!"

Xigbar's scream of terror will always haunt me and chill me right to the bone. I swallowed softly.

"Are they really…that bad?" I whispered as we backed away from Axel's door when it began getting thumped.

"They are known to destroy worlds," Demyx said as he hid behind us "Their damage is more devastating than the Heartless'!"

"Quick, help us get out of here!" Axel tugged on my sleeve desperately.

"How?" I hissed "If we use a Dark Corridor, we might accidentally end up in the middle of their army!"

"You have shadow teleportation powers, right? You'll be able to see before landing us somewhere safe…" Demyx whimpered.

"I've never taken passengers with me before!" I said.

"I'd rather get trapped in shadows for the rest of my life than having to face them so let's take that chance!" Axel tugged at my sleeve more.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed the boys by the shoulders and managed to sink us all into our shadows and drag them out of the window just as the door slammed open and Axel's room filled with so many bright, sparkly and crazy people. I felt my head twinge in pain whilst travelling up the walls of the castle, looking for a safe place to retreat to. As it turns out, a nice safe place was the Altar of Naught. We landed in the middle of the white floor and I held my head.

"Argh, I feel like my head's going to get split in half," I groaned as the boys got up.

"I don't think we'll be able to be safe for long, so what now?" Demyx muttered as I rolled onto my back to get into a more comfortable position.

"Is there any way to get rid of them at all?" I asked.

"Well, we could fix them as regular people but that would take a while," Axel grimaced.

"Yeah, they bite, kick, scream, impersonate our weapons, impersonate our personalities, beg for mercy, offer their bodies, use random superpowers…"

"Yes, I get it!" I groaned, interrupting Demyx.

"Oh good, I was running out of fingers," Demyx muttered.

"How about we grab one and have Vexen study it?" I suggested.

"How do we catch Mary-Sues?" Axel grumbled "They're invincible!"

"Everything has a weakness, surely they have a weakness?!" I grumbled.

"No, Mary-Sues are designed to be overpowered, flawless, attractive, invincible, lucky, smart, knowledgeable…"

"Stop with the listing, Demyx!"

I sat up and closed my eyes, trying to cope with my headache. I took a deep sigh and turned to them.

"Let's take a Dark Corridor down to Vexen's lab, he might have an idea."

"Supposing we run into them again?"

My head began ringing as there was a loud cheer of girls (and boys?) and Axel whistled.

"They're charging out of the castle," he said as he and Demyx looked down from the tower "And going to different worlds…"

"They're going to take over all the worlds now!" Demyx shrieked and yelped when I smacked him for making my headache worse "This has turned into a crisis!"

"There's no way we'll be able to catch and change them now," Axel muttered and bit his lip nervously.

"That would have taken forever anyway," Demyx whined "I wonder if anyone's survived the onslaught."

"Great, Axel, check for survivors, Demyx, get Vexen and discuss how to get the Mary-Sues in his lab to study while I just lie here and pass out from this stupid headache!"

I felt myself snarl the orders and the boys stared down at me with wide eyes.

"What if we get caught by them?" Demyx whimpered.

"My head is hurting so much, that I'm experiencing my first hangover here," I growled at them "You've played enough zombie survival games, right? Think of this as one!"

"I'm no good at fighting!" Demyx whined.

"Then run!"

The boys exchanged a look.

"What if they come up here?" Axel asked uncertainly.

"Then I'm doomed, but then again they might be able to put me out of my misery," I grumbled.

"They'll push you in deeper into your misery," Axel muttered.

"Just go!"

A couple swirls of darkness later and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, the dull ache in my head fading away slowly.

"Time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

What? My eyes flew open when some warm lips touched mine and my instant reaction was to punch the attacker in the face. I rolled over, covered my lips and stared at the young man who was nursing his face. Wait, his cheek isn't bruised. I punched hard enough to knock a tooth out! That's not fair! How is that even possible? He chuckled dryly and tossed his glittering purple hair. Seriously? Purple hair? And it's glittering? His skin's glittering too, unless he's wearing body glitter.

"I like them feisty," he winked.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demanded before wiping my lips.

He bit his lip and pulled a sexy look. I cocked an eyebrow. Nope, not going to happen.

"Stay back," I readied my blades "I'm warning you…"

"Oh, want to play a little rough, do you?" he grinned and pulled out a massive hammer out of nowhere.

Screw this, run! I ran down the altar, blades dismissed. He cat-called, wolf-whistled and shouted innuendos at me throughout the whole chase. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, I was more focused in getting away from the rapist. I did gain my bearings eventually and began making my way towards Vexen's lab. The whole place was a mess from the rush of the Mary-Sue army. I wonder how long I've been asleep… I crashed into Vexen's doors to discover that they were locked. I panicked and knocked frantically.

"Damn it, Vexen!" I shouted "Let me in!"

"Trapped, like a little canary bird," that silky voice reached my ears and I grimaced.

"Vexen!" I shrieked louder.

"My name is Ragnarok."

"VEXEN!"

"Now, shall we begin?"

"Vexen, I swear to God, I'm going to be feeding you to the whole army of Mary-Sues if I survive this!"

The door cracked open, snatched me by the collar and yanked me in. I stumbled onto an examination table and saw Zexion with a surgical mask, shining a light into my eyes.

"Eyes normal like XVI's," he said then pulled a strand of hair out and jogged over to some machine which scanned it "…Hair is normal like XVI's."

He came over and pricked my finger, my eye twitching with the soft pain. He took a spot of my blood and went over to a different scanner as I sucked my finger tenderly.

"Blood is normal too," he muttered "Xeann, will you donate a skin sample please?"

"And how could I do that?" I asked with a soft glare.

He held up a fingerprint scanner and I raised an eyebrow. I took my glove off and gently pressed my index finger into it.

"Ow!"

I pulled away when a quick light ran across the scanner, which turned out to be something to slice a patch of skin off my finger, to suck it softly as Zexion took a look at the results that got printed out.

"Normal too," he nodded "Good, you haven't been contaminated. In addition, we got vampire DNA to use in further research."

"I hate you," I mumbled around my finger "Where are Demyx and Vexen?"

"Attempting to carry out a capturing mission, the third one of the day," Zexion said with a soft sigh.

"Hey, beautiful!"

We jumped and stared at the door as it was hammered through. I swallowed as the young man stood in the large hole in the wall, looking us both up and down lustfully. Zexion gulped.

"A Lemon Stu," he said "One of the worst kind."

"Lemon Stu?" I echoed.

"A ladies man who can sleep with anyone that he chooses." Zexion explained.

"Well, who can't resist my charm?" the Lemon Stu cocked a slender purple eyebrow.

"Contamination shower room, now!" Zexion grabbed my wrist and dragged me to a nearby door.

He slammed the door shut and locked it.

"That won't keep him for long," he muttered.

"Where can we go?" I asked.

"There are Sues and Stus patrolling the whole castle, nowhere is safe," Zexion whispered "We can't leave the lab, we need it for research if Vexen and Demyx are successful in capturing one."

"Zexy, it didn't work!" we stilled at the sound of Demyx's voice.

"Well, hello…"

"No, not another one!" Demyx shrieked.

"Run, IX!" Vexen shouted and there was a swirl of darkness.

There was a silent pause and Zexion backed away.

"You check to see if it's clear," he said.

"Why me?" I hissed.

"Demyx told me that you are responsible for this."

"This is all Axel's fault!"

"And you were stupid enough to listen to his opinion about the internet."

"How was I supposed to know this would happen?" I hissed.

"Just…check, I'm more important than you."

"You're only three years younger than me," I scowled.

"Yes and I'm more intelligent than you," he folded his arms.

"Excuse me for dying when I was fifteen," I grumbled but carefully opened the door and peeked through the crack.

There didn't seem to be any sign of the Lemon Stu so I creaked the door open a bit more.

"Ah, is my little butterfly coming out of her cocoon?"

SLAM! I backed up and Zexion and I pressed ourselves against the far tiled wall.

"Right, we might need to abandon the lab," I whispered.

"No, we can trap him," Zexion decided.

"How?"

"Give me a minute."

"Oh, sweeties!" the Lemon Stu thumped his fists on the door.

"I don't think we have a minute," I squeaked.

"It won't come to me if you rush me!" Zexion hissed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know you want me," the Lemon Stu's silky voice entered the room "Come to me, I'll show you a good time."

Oh God, I'm going to throw up.

"You…need DNA, don't you?" I whispered.

"Skin sample, hair, blood, anything that might give us a lead," Zexion nodded.

"The longer you keep me waiting, the less gentle I'm going to be."

"Wait, I've got an idea," I whispered and shoved Zexion into one shower stall "Stay quiet. And when I say now, you summon a Dark Corridor at the front of my shower stall."

I yanked the curtain across the stall before jumping into the one nearest to the door, closing my curtain mostly, making sure the Lemon Stu would investigate my shower first before Zexion's. I jumped when that hammer smashed the door open and turned the shower on. I saw the glint of lust in his sparkly blue eyes while slowly unzipping my coat, biting my lip. He smirked and stepped into the shower.

"There's my little princess," he purred and I pressed against the shower wall "Where's the cute bookworm?"

"Uh, I…I want you all to myself," I pouted softly, holding back a repulsed groan.

"Aw, you're so cute and adorable," he took my chin in his sparkly fingers.

"Don't you like that?" I asked as I slowly wrapped my hand through his hair.

"Oh, I love that," he purred.

"Well, I don't. Now, Zexion!"

The Lemon Stu howled as I ripped out some of his hair and slammed the heel of my boot into his foot. My eyes widened when I smelt something that smelt like blood but just didn't feel right. It smelt sweeter actually and I wrinkled my nose. It smelt wrong. As the Dark Corridor appeared before the shower stall, I shoved the Lemon Stu into it and it disappeared. Zexion came in with a raised eyebrow and I took my boot off. I stared at the glittery purple substance and raised an eyebrow. Was this the blood of a Mary Sue? I shrugged.

"Two out of three isn't so bad, is it?" I grinned at Zexion.

"Let me get a couple of plastic bags," he said and dashed off into the lab.

I frowned as he came back with two plastic bags and his surgical mask back on. I dropped the hair and my boot into the plastic bags and he sealed them up, bustling away from me to study them. I followed him with a frown then realised.

"I don't think I've been contaminated," I said.

"How much did he touch you?" Zexion asked.

"He just touched my chin and obviously I had to touch his hair and scalp to pull his hair out," I grimaced.

"Hm…"

Zexion paused as he lifted his head up from examining the Lemon Stu's hair.

"Just don't come near me, early symptoms of contamination will involve you being able to control your arousal and wanting to have sex with everyone."

I retched and Zexion pointed me towards the bin. I managed to hold it in and sighed.

"Seriously, why?" I whispered softly.

"A lot of fan girls who write stories about us think that their main audience love explicit sexual content," Zexion replied.

"Whoa, what happened here?"

I looked up and saw Axel carrying a comatose Xion into the lab and grinned when he saw me.

"Thank goodness, I got worried when I saw you were gone from where we left you," he said as he laid Xion on one of the tables.

"Don't come near me, I don't know if I'm contaminated or not," I said when Axel advanced towards me for a hug.

"Contaminated?"

Axel backed away carefully and pressed his back against the wall.

"Contaminated by what?" he asked.

"A Lemon Stu, we managed to get some DNA for research," Zexion said and raised a strand of hair from his place with a double gloved hand.

"Oh God, why did you search up me and Roxas on the internet?" Axel groaned and I snarled.

"If I knew this would happen, I would have not even dared to look up pictures of you and Roxas getting it on!" I snapped at him.

"We got one!"

We all turned our heads towards the hole in the wall. Vexen and Demyx carried a writhing body bag and tossed it through an open steel door, shutting and locking it whilst breathing a soft sigh of relief. Demyx's eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Xe-Xe!"

"Don't go near her!" Axel yanked him back when he charged towards me "She has had contact with a Lemon Stu."

"Ah!"

Demyx hid behind Axel as Vexen grumbled under his breath.

"Well, we did manage to get some DNA for research," Zexion said as he held up my boot in a bag.

"Oh, interesting," Vexen bustled over to take a look at the blood.

"Where's Roxas?" I asked, folding my arms at Axel.

Axel sucked in a deep breath and my eyes widened.

"You lost one of our Keyblade wielders to the Mary-Sues?" I said incredulously.

"We were outnumbered, I'm lucky to have gotten out and take Xion with me," Axel said "And I don't even know if she's alright."

"Well, did you find any other members?" I asked as the steel door began pounding but no-one really paid much attention.

"Xemnas, gone to who knows where," Axel said as he rubbed the back of his head "Xigbar, I have no idea where he is either, they took his body. Xaldin, I saw him dealing with a handful of Jerk Sues at the Beast's Castle. I saw Lexaeus hiding out at Agrabah. Saïx…I have no idea…"

Oh God, Saïx! I shot up and hesitated.

"I'm going to find him," I said before dashing out.

I skidded to a halt in Addled Impasse a few hours later, my eyes widening when I saw a whole sea of light blue hair like Saïx.

"Saïx, marry me!"

"I'll be the perfect companion!"

"I'm pregnant with your children!"

I saw red, took up my blades and tore through the crowd. How dare they?! He does not have the heart to love someone let alone marry them! I'll kill them all! I paused when I lost my other boot in the fight and blinked. Am I actually feeling jealous over the Mary-Sues' attention over Saïx? …No! I'm not jealous! I'm just…concerned that I might get a mentally ill mentor out of this, yeah, that's right! Shaking my head, I managed to cleave my way through the crowd until I found a half-naked Saïx. I grabbed him by the naked torso and merged us together with our shadows, getting the hell out of there. We landed in the middle of Vexen's lab and I groaned.

"Headache, again," I mumbled but it wasn't as bad as when I had to carry two passengers.

"Oh, looks like Xeann got lucky," Axel joked.

"You're not feeling any arousal or like you want to engage in sexual intercourse with anyone, do you?" Zexion asked with concern.

"What, no!" I spluttered and pushed Saïx off me "No, I saved the bastard and the Mary-Sues tore his clothes off and I can't control where people land when we take off in shadow form…"

"There's no need to explain, as long as you don't feel like you're going to die if you don't want to have sex," Vexen explained with a dismissive wave of the hand.

I sighed softly and got up, brushing myself down. I noted the dents in the steel door and cocked my head to the side.

"Wow, it's lucky that it didn't break out," I commented.

"Yes, actually that is strange," Zexion perked up "Xeann, go and investigate."

"Why me again?!" I shrieked and winced as it added to my headache.

"You let them loose."

"And you're probably already contaminated with Lemon Stu and Relationship Sue DNA," Vexen muttered.

"Oh, fine! This is still all Axel's fault."

"You were the one who surfed the internet!" Axel snapped.

"You were the one who got me curious!"

"Curiosity killed the cat!"

Oh my God, Ebony! I stilled and sighed.

"Fine, I'll check," I grumbled as I stormed over to the steel door, intending to go straight to my room to check up on my precious cat.

I carefully unlocked the steel door and cracked it open. Swiftly, I flicked the light switch on in the containment room. No sign of life so far. I cracked the door open a bit more. I then abruptly slammed it open. There was pink glittery dust everywhere and no sign of the Mary-Sue that Vexen and Demyx managed to catch and contain. I checked behind the door just to make sure and turned to the guys.

"Nothing but dust," I replied.

"Now that is strange," Vexen hurried into the room and took a sample of the dust "It must have committed suicide or something."

"If it committed suicide, there would still be a body available to revive," Zexion reminded him.

"But this is extraordinary, we didn't do anything to it other than shove it into a body bag," Vexen frowned.

"And ignore it," Axel blinked.

Zexion stared up at Axel with wide eyes.

"Of course! Mary-Sues thrive on attention, they just wither and dissolve when there's no attention for them available."

"Wait…so we just ignore them and they'll go away?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Precisely," Vexen nodded as he examined the dust through a microscope.

"So, how do we get all the worlds to ignore them?" Demyx frowned.

"Yeah, we can't just put up a notice to everyone to ignore anyone bright and sparkly," I remarked as Axel and I heaved Saïx up from the floor and placed him on an examination table.

"We'll have to trap them in a place where they can't get out or get any attention," Zexion murmured as he cupped his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, why not Castle Oblivion?" Vexen suggested.

"What's Castle Oblivion?" I asked.

"It's the other castle that belongs to the Organization," Zexion explained "There are numerous rooms in which we can trap the Sues and Stus in, it's perfect."

"Right, so how do we get them in there?" I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Axel, you're the most popular canon character," Vexen gave a glance towards the mentioned "You can be the bait and Xeann can round them up…"

"OK, I've done enough to recount for my actions," I snapped.

"They'll more likely listen and pay attention to you," Zexion pointed out "They won't trample you like they'd trample us."

"And why not?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because you're not a canon character. In fact, you used to be a Mary-Sue yourself."

"What?!" Myself, Axel and Demyx exclaimed.

I used to be a Twilight vampire? Ew, no, argh, no, wrong, no, why? I saw Axel and Demyx shrink away from me and glowered at Vexen.

"How dare you accuse me for being one of those things!" I shrieked at him.

"Your DNA partially matches the Mary-Sue DNA we already have," Zexion explained "You're the Mary-Sue that joined the Organization a few years ago. As we didn't know how to get rid of you, we simply altered your appearance, changed your personality, improved your backstory and memories then left you in Twilight Town."

I grimaced and stepped back. Does that mean my memories of my parents and my friends weren't real? Heck, did they even exist now? I scowled and shook my head.

"So I'm just another one of your experiments?" I spat.

"No," Zexion shook his head then paused "Well, yes, kind of."

"Ugh!" I turned on my heel, intending to abandon them.

"Hey, you started this, don't leave us now!" Axel barked as he stood in front of the exit.

"I have half my mind set on leaving the whole freaking Organization!" I barked back.

"And even if you did, where would you go?" Zexion stood from his place "The Mary-Sues will destroy the worlds one at a time and you will have no home to go to."

"Please, Xe-Xe!" Demyx begged as he stood next to Axel "Do this for us?"

"How can I do it for you, I'm a proper Nobody if I'm not even supposed to exist," I spat at him in contempt.

"But you're our friend!" Demyx whined.

"I'm not even supposed to be your friend!"

"May I interject?"

I whirled around and glared at Vexen.

"If it will make you feel any better so you will cooperate," he said "Your very existence has created an alternate universe to the original one."

"Continue," I folded my arms and tapped my bootless foot.

"There are many, many universes that exists," Vexen continued "Mary-Sues often dominate these alternate universes. Do you dominate this one?"

"I wouldn't say dominate but if I created this universe…shouldn't I?"

"No, otherwise you'd be a Mary-Sue," Vexen snapped grumpily.

I held my tongue and sighed.

"You have no part in alternating the story of the original universe other than expanding the timeline of the Organization's existence," Vexen continued "If you really did dominate this universe, we would all have hearts and lead all our separate lives in our home worlds. This would upset the balance of the universe as we were not destined to lead those paths."

"So are you saying we won't get our hearts back?" I cocked an eyebrow.

"No, I'm just saying that we would have already completed Kingdom Hearts," Vexen snapped again.

I lifted my hands in alarm then sighed.

"So, I'm not endangering this universe?"

"No, not at all," Zexion confirmed with a nod.

I sighed then turned to Axel.

"Alright, you," I said and jabbed a finger into his chest "Coat and shirt off, those Mary-Sues will come flooding towards us."

"Wait, what?" Axel yelped and jumped back.

"They were flooding Saïx when I found him topless, you do the same thing and we shouldn't have that much of a problem."

"I see a problem," Demyx said "How do we get them into separate rooms?"

"Well it looks like someone will have to stand at the doors, push the last Mary Sue that comes in into the previous room then lock it," I shrugged.

There was a pause and I stared expectantly at Demyx. He caught my drift.

"No way!" he exclaimed and shook his head "I'm not doing it!"

"It'll be easy if you just use your water powers to flood them out, you won't have to touch them," I folded my arms "Or better yet, use your water clones."

"No!"

"Demyx…" I tapped my foot and raised an eyebrow "Don't make me lock you up in a room with pictures of you and another member of the Organization getting it on."

Demyx sucked in a deep breath then sighed.

"Alright, I'll do it," he muttered as Axel unzipped his coat and took his shirt off.

"Then let's go!" I grinned "Meet us at Castle Oblivion, get your water clones ready at every doorway and have a set of earplugs in handy."

"We have earplugs in the top desk drawer," Vexen mumbled as he began examining the blood on my boot.

We all took a pair of earplugs, plugged them in then I grabbed Axel's wrist. I proceeded to drag him through the worlds. First Twilight Town, enticing a few squeals and a small crowd forming behind us as we ran through the streets. I made sure to keep the Dark Corridors open long enough for all the Mary-Sues to get through. We ran through Hollow Bastion, jogged through Agrabah, dashed through Halloween Town, sprinted through the Beast's Castle, hurried through Neverland, tore through Traverse Town then eventually raced through the Castle That Never Was. By then, I could safely assume we had about ninety-nine percent of the Mary-Sue Army. My legs were aching and Axel was complaining but I couldn't really hear much from him.

"Alright, one last sprint!" I shouted and went through the last Dark Corridor to Castle Oblivion.

I let Axel overtake me as we entered the castle. He knew this place better than me. And boy, it was a maze! I stumbled after the older man through the numerous rooms, tripping up and falling in one room but it seemed that Axel wasn't going to stop running so I lay on the floor, waiting for the crowd to disperse and the doors slam.

"Hey!"

I cracked my eye open to see a Mary-Sue with light green hair and pink highlights hammering on the door, her Keyblade in hand. She tried using it to unlock the door but it just wouldn't work that well. She was already losing her power.

"Why won't it work?" she whined as I played dead and ignored her "Let me through! It's not fair, let me pass!"

I discretely pushed my earplugs further into my ears to avoid acknowledging her. I continued lying on the floor, being dead and didn't respond when she began pushing me, telling me to wake up and trying to revive me. I mentally chanted nursery rhymes in my head and talk to myself about how some are creepy and how I find some cute. I kept my eyes shut as I pictured Little Bo-Peep with her sheep. I don't know when the pushing and shoving stopped but it was when someone pulled my earplug out that my attention was finally caught.

"Well, it looks like one of your plans actually worked."

I seethed and sat up, mouth open to retort but it snapped shut when I saw Saïx crouching over me.

"Saïx…" I uttered and took the other earplug out.

"Although, I believe the one next door is still alive, so it would be best to stay in here," Saïx glanced at the locked doors where a pile of sparkly green dust was.

I looked down and fiddled with my coat thoughtfully.

"Saïx, what was I like when I was a Mary-Sue?" I asked timidly.

Saïx quirked an eyebrow.

"Why do you want to know?" he asked.

"Please…I'm curious."

Saïx sighed as he sat down and stared ahead thoughtfully.

"You were a couple of feet taller, you had a beauty spot in the shape of a heart underneath your eye, you had some form of a gothic tattoo on your wrist, your original name was Kawaii Xeanna Annabelle Susanna Sabrina Marilyn Murphy and you smelled of apples," he said and glanced at me "Right now you smell of sweat."

"Well I did run through a handful of worlds to get the Mary-Sues' attention," I raised an eyebrow and took my coat off to cool down a bit "Seriously? I had Kawaii at the start of my name?"

"You also wanted to sleep with Zexion, me, Axel, Demyx, Xemnas and Sephiroth," Saïx continued and that time, I did throw up at the mental picture.

My mentor wrinkled his nose in disgust and I used my coat to cover the mess. We evacuated to the other side of the room where I sat down again.

"You were fifteen and you claimed to have been raped when you were eleven years old until you came to the Organization by your father," he kept speaking.

"Saïx, don't make me throw up again," I growled.

"Your mother hated you and your younger sister called you a freak so you were unloved," Saïx continued "You were a loner at school, you didn't have friends and you somehow knew what the purpose of the Twilight Town Mansion was."

"What is the purpose…?"

"Not important. You also had a flawless singing voice and you cooked perfectly."

"What's the matter with my singing now?" I scowled at him.

"You can't even sing Ring-A-Ring-A-Roses correctly," Saïx folded his arms with a smug smirk.

"I can so!" I snapped and jumped to my feet "Ring…"

"Please, don't," he raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

I puffed my cheeks out and huffed.

"Eventually, the universe was distorting so we had to change you to balance it out," Saïx continued "Who knew you would have joined the Organization again and create an alternate universe?"

"Was I sparkly at all?" I asked carefully.

"Axel had to wear sunglasses around you."

I winced at the thought.

"Shall we return to the castle now?" Saïx offered as he opened a Dark Corridor.

"OK," I said and followed him.

After sucking out the life of a rabbit, I headed off to my room to feed Ebony, clear out her litter box then go to sleep. I stopped dead at the doorway, the room filled with Ebony's purring. It was that damn Lemon Stu from before. He got into my bedroom, took care of Ebony and was now sitting there with her. Apparently they can survive on animals' attention too.

"Ebony, bad cat!" I scolded.

The maturing kitten let out a surprised yowl, scratched the Lemon Stu and ran to me. The Lemon Stu caught my eye and from then on, I began ignoring him. He complimented me as I placed Ebony on the bed, caressed my body when I took my cloak off, begged for my attention when I got into bed then slid in with me as I closed my eyes. It was tough to ignore him hugging and humping me but eventually it stopped when I felt myself pass out from exhaustion. When I woke up, I was covered in purple glitter. Ebony looked miffed, trying to get the purple glitter out of her fur. We shared a shower, much to her displeasure but she was more compliant when I made the shower a bit warmer.

"Xeann, we found Roxas and…"

I stilled when Axel came into the room and I hadn't bothered to put any clothes on.

"Oh…" Axel stood in the doorway, looking sheepish.

"Get out!"

I threw Ebony at Axel's face and she clawed at him. Axel yowled and fell over, trying to get her off while I quickly dried off and pulled one of my coats on.

"Have you ever heard of the concept of knocking?" I asked irritably.

"How was I supposed to know that you were going to be in your room and you were going to be naked?" Axel asked as Ebony got off after leaving some scratches on his face and sauntered back to me "Anyway, we found Roxas, he's in the middle of Hollow Bastion. But there's a massive Heartless guarding his body. Could you take care of the Heartless while I grab Roxas?"

"Why would I do that? Sephiroth will get me."

"Think of it as a last request for letting that Mary-Sue into our universe."

I sighed irritably before filling Ebony's bowl up.

"Just let me get some clothes on underneath this," I said "I'll be in the Grey Room in ten minutes."

"Gotcha, princess," Axel grinned as he closed the door.

I smiled, shrugging and shaking my head. I petted Ebony and grabbed a tank top and shorts. After finding a new pair of boots, I went to Hollow Bastion with Axel. Axel went one way to get to Roxas whilst I chose a different path to get to the Heartless. And as it turns out…

"Sephy!"

A shrill screech brought my attention to the sky and I saw a one-winged Mary-Sue chasing after Sephiroth, who was furiously hacking at her limbs to try to kill her. I cocked a sly eyebrow, smirked and skipped away. Well, at least the internet isn't that bad.