**I DO NOT OWN OR CLAIM TO OWN GLEE OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS ALL THAT BELONGS TO RYAN MURPHY**
All If Any Mistakes Are My Own I Apologize In Advanced.
Author's Note:- So I'm Not Sure About This Chapter It's Basically Another Filler Please Send Feedback I'm Hoping It Was Okay But I Need Constructive Advice Whether Good Or Bad. Just Not Too Bad I'm Hoping.
10. CHAPTER TEN
The week had dragged by for Finn he was so down that nothing interested him not Glee club, not Football, not even his Xbox was helping with his mood, and he could tell his mother was aware of it and so was Kurt but neither of them questioned him on it as of yet of course he knew that one of them would eventually want to know since he it was only a matter of time before his mother got out of her mind with concern for her son or Kurt gets fed up of him moping around the house.
He didn't want to be like this but he knew no-one would really understand why he was so upset, after all neither of them was in love with his best friends current girlfriend who happened to be his ex-girlfriend and the love of his life. And to add with his heart break was that he was forced to sit in the same room as them while they were being all lovey-dovey with each other which had been why he missed Thursday's Glee Club meeting and instead came home to play Xbox but the moment Puck's name popped up on the screen telling Finn his 'Friend' was online he quickly turned off his Xbox not even saving his progress on the game. He threw the controller across the room with so much force that it made a small crack in the plaster of his wall that was when Kurt had burst into his bedroom –without knocking- closing the door as soon as he was in the room he looked at his Step-brother folding his arms over his chest as he spoke.
"Right Finn that's it you have been in a funk all week long and your worrying Carole and your worrying and pissing me off so please tell me what the hell has gotten you in this vile mood? I have been assuming that maybe it's because you and Quinn have clearly broken-up? Am I right?" He asked him staring at Finn who was sat on his computer facing Kurt but not quite looking him in the eye, he shook his head and let out a sigh before deciding to just tell his brother the truth.
"It's got nothing to do with breaking up with Quinn since It was my Idea to break up, although the fact that she made it painfully obvious that she was using me and our relationship just so she could be Prom Queen. Well that didn't make me feel better about myself..." he said
"Well what is the main reason you're so down in the dumps?" Kurt asked him not moving from his spot in front of his brother
Finn finally looked up towards Kurt as he prepared to tell him the truth, "...I guess it's the whole Rachel being with Puck thing..." he said in an exasperated tone.
"Well you weren't this down about it in the beginning mad sure but not exactly sad... I thought you were over it." Kurt said, sure he remembered Finn's angry reaction to the news of Rachel and Puck getting together but he had been ok ever since he was even sat with Rachel talking at Prom and he'd walked her home.
"...I guess I'm a better actor than I always thought I was... I guess I was holding it together better before Friday...When I walked Rachel home well we kissed and I practically begged her to be with me again, but Puck called her and choose that moment of all to tell her he loved her and she... she made her decision in that moment that for now she was supposed to be with Puck... Then I walked her to her door said goodnight then left and the next day I broke up with Quinn. And I guess watching Rachel and Puck all over each other at school and in Glee Club isn't helping me feel any better about myself or in general..." he said glad to finally tell someone how he was really feeling sure he told Rachel but that didn't stop her from basically rubbing her happiness in his face or at least that's how he felt about their PDA.
Kurt stared wide eyed at his brother's openness about his feelings and of course he was shocked to learn that Rachel had kissed Finn and hadn't told Kurt about it herself but he didn't dwell on that matter since he was not just genuinely worried about his brother, "I'm sorry Finn about the Rachel thing you know how she can be about other people's feelings she doesn't always think about them... But you do know it's not healthy for you to be so hung up on her... you broke up with her Finn you moved on maybe you should just continue to do that..." he told him honestly.
"It's not as easy as that Kurt I broke up with her because I was so hurt and betrayed by what she did that I let my anger get the best of me and I moved on way too quickly because I hoped that being with Quinn again might make things better for a while... I guess now I'm getting a taste of my own medicine huh... the only difference is Rachel is truly in love with Puck where as I wasn't in love with Quinn not like I was last year anyway... and not even close to the way I love Rachel..." Finn looked down at his hands as he choked though the last few sentences as the lump that had been appearing in his throat was making it's presence known again he swallowed hard again refusing to let it get the better of him, he wasn't going to cry not in front of Kurt.
Kurt noticed the change in his voice as he spoke he'd never heard Finn sound so broken before he was always the leader holding everyone together but right now he could tell that Finn was barely keeping himself together and it was hurting Kurt to see it and he wished he could fix it for him but he had no idea where to start; he stood staring at Finn silently, unsure of what he to say to what Finn had just told him but before he could think of something Finn spoke up again.
"...I told her that I'd wait for her this time like I waited when she was with Jesse last year...and I convinced myself I could do it that was until she told me she loved Puck...she never told me she loved Jesse and right now I'm terrified that I've lost her for good..." he said his voice weaker now that he was fighting back the tears that were filling his eyes, keeping his focus fixed on his hands in his lap Finn blinking furiously to rid the tears before they spilled that was the first time he'd actually let himself admit that fear out loud, but the more he saw of Rachel and Puck in school holding hands or even just looking at each other; to see the look he always believed Rachel kept just for him – while she gazed at Puck made his heart break even more.
Kurt looked at his brother hearing his words and his broken voice was bringing tears to his own eyes he had never heard Finn so defeated and broken and it was all over Rachel Berry his best friend he couldn't help but feel angry with her for kissing Finn causing him to have hope that they were maybe getting back together and then breaking him by choosing to be with someone else and he was going to make sure he and Rachel had a good talk about this or he would talk and she could listen for a change because right now he was being forced to take his brother's side especially after hearing him out sure he owed Rachel the same courtesy but right now he was to mad at her to give her the benefit of the doubt.
"...I'm so sorry Finn...I had no idea that you still felt so strongly for her...I really wish I had the words for you that would made it all better but... The only person who can make you feel better is you...I know it seems like the hardest thing in the world and it hurt but you have to pick yourself up dust yourself off and face the pain until it can't hurt you anymore because eventually the pain will dull and you will be able to push it aside and If you and Rachel are meant to be then you'll be." Kurt said not moving his eyes from Finn who was still staring down at his hands.
"...We are meant to be we have to be"
Rachel sat on her bed looking at her phone she had noticed a major change in Finn this past week he had been skipping classes and he hadn't even shown up to Glee Club and that fact alone was cause concern where Finn was concerned he always came to Glee Club no matter she could remember him telling her it was the only place he could just 'relax and be himself'. She picked up her cell phone and quickly tapped in a text
-Is everything ok? R*
She hesitated before pressing send once she finally did send it she placed her cell back on her bed in front of her after what seemed like hours she got a reply.
-I've had better weeks... F
Rachel just stared at the text knowing exactly why he had been so distant from everyone all week she didn't know whether to respond to that message or not she knew that she had been wrapped up in Noah more than usual this week and after what happened Friday between her and Finn she shouldn't have allowed herself to show as much PDA as she had been but she had been feeling so guilty for kissing Finn and not telling Noah about it that she wasn't thinking about the other person who still held the largest part of her heart she was still so confused about what she should do about Finn and Noah that she had been forcing herself to believe that when she chose Noah that her decision should have been final but if she had been so sure about her decision why had she said 'For now' to Finn; it wasn't only to make him feel better but because she wasn't sure about she was making the right decision for good, she and Finn were still connected even if she had been trying to deny it but it was a fact that couldn't be ignored all week long she had been feeling weird, like she wasn't where she was supposed to be.
-I think maybe we should talk, alone & face to face...? R*
Moments later she got a response.
-Ok...When? F
-...Um well are you doing anything now? R*
-No. Shall I come to your place? F
-Yeah. I'll see you soon. R*
-Leaving now. F
The moment she got his last text she placed her phone on her bedside table and made her way down the stairs sitting in the living room waiting for Finn they would have plenty of time to talk today since her Dad was away on business and her Daddy was working late.
Fifteen minutes later she heard a knock on her front door she quickly got up off the couch and walked to the door opening it revealing Finn on the other side she smiled a small smile at him and stepped aside, "Please, come in" she said in a strong even voice although she was pretty nervous about the conversation she was about to have.