The very first expedition of the year 847 was a disaster.

Rain came down in torrents as the Survey Corps rode deeper into the titan territory. With the deluge blinding their vision, Mike and Saira's squad were separated from the left flank. They accidently rode towards a horde of titans and after escaping with nearly half of them wiped out, Mike led them towards the point where they were supposed to meet with the front flank.

They were, instead, met with carnage.

The left flank had been obliterated. The few soldiers that left were fleeing on their horses as fast as they could. The rain had slowed down enough to not hinder their vision. Some titans were chewing onto the remains of the near dead soldiers while the others chased down the ones running away.

Mike unsheathed his swords, "I'll handle this."

"No!" Saira rode next to him, "You lead them all to Erwin and the others. Save whoever you can. Leave this to me. I'll distract them."

"But Saira-"

"Go! Now!" She rode away from them, towards seven titans who were between 5 to 16 meter class, "Ride hard." She called towards Mike, "I'll meet you afterwards." If I survive.

To be brutally honest, Saira didn't think that she could handle all of them on her own. Though not inexperienced or unskilled, she remained doubtful of herself. It was her quick thinking and her adeptness with blades that had helped her survive this long. Yet, her self-confidence was relatively low.

Unsheathing her swords, she first attacked the largest one, who was slowly walking after the fleeing horses. Saira cut off its limbs and then proceeded to slice its nape. As fast as she could, she continued to take down three more titans, all of them towering over her at 13 meters. Distracted, the woman failed to notice the presence of an Aberrant in the horde.

The Aberrant was 10 meters with bent limbs, its legs pointing inwards. It was hunched over someone who had fallen backwards on the ground, staring at him intently. The titan made no movement. The person, who Saira recognised to be Gelgar, didn't move either. He looked at the humanoid, wide-eyed, as he leaned against the trunk of a tree.

The grappling hook from Saira's gear embedded itself into the flesh on the titan's back and the woman flew towards it. The titan straightened up the moment she landed on its shoulder. It was then that she realised that Saira had made a novice mistake.

The titan screeched and flailed its arms, trying to swat or grab the woman, who had dug her swords on the titan's nape.

"Gelgar! Call for a horse. Run!" She screamed and the man hastily stood up, whistling as loud as he could.

His gear was broken, she saw from the corner of her eyes and the titan had now begun to jump. She cut off its fingers, narrowly avoiding being squashed. Seeing that Gelgar was at a safe distance, she turned to the two small titans, who were reaching for her.

'Now what? What do I do? Think!'

Cutting off the nape, or so she thought, of the Aberrant, she jumped off of it and skidded to a halt in the mud. The two titans began to swipe their palms at her. Saira expertly dodged them, using her blades when necessary. Until something flung her towards the trees.

Excruciating pain flooded her body and she could only thank the Gods that she hadn't hit the tree skull first. Saira was sure that she had broken multiple ribs, but she couldn't give up now. Remembering that Gelgar was still on his feet, without proper functioning gear, Saira staggered up. Gripping her swords tight, she saw that the Aberrant she had supposedly killed was now running towards her.

She shot the hooks on her gear upwards, embedding them on one of the branches and flew towards it, landing just moments before the titan reached for her. Hissing in pain, Saira gritted her teeth while assessing the situation. The woman reached to touch her nose only to realize that it was broken too.

Saira cursed as she shot forward towards the smaller titans. She skilfully navigated herself towards its nape and sliced it off.

'Two to go' She thought as she landed back on the branch. Gelgar was now riding towards her, holding the reins of her horse.

The blood from her broken nose was getting in the way and she was hurting all over. She somehow managed to kill off the 8 meter class, leaving the Aberrant flailing and banging its fists on the tree trunk.

"Squad leader Saira!" Gelgar called out, "Is anyone else left?"

Hearing the noise, the Abnormal froze and turned towards him slowly. Seizing the opportunity, Saira leapt onto its back again, hacking off its nape but not before it had swung its fist backwards, slamming it into Saira's already broken ribcage.

The dark haired woman fell to the ground, coughing up blood. The carcasses had almost decomposed and the steam was steadily rising.

"Squad leader!" She heard the clopping of hooves stop next to her and felt being lifted carefully onto the horse.

"No one else is left behind." She managed to speak, gasping for air.

"Ju-just hold on, okay." Gelgar said in a panicked tone, "Hold on, the rendezvous point isn't much further."

The next few minutes, which felt like hours to Saira, were agonizing. She could barely keep her eyes open because of the blinding pain. If it weren't for Gelgar gripping her cloak and jerking her awake from time to time, she would've fainted the moment she got onto the horse.

Before losing consciousness entirely, she could hear the neighing of the horses and the clanking of metal in a distance. The rain had completely stopped by now.

"Medic! We need a medic!" The brunet holding her yelled.

Saira could perceive her squad member Killian's and Mike's voice, and figured that one of them was carrying her. The blood pouring from her nose and mouth made it difficult for her to breath.

She blacked out shortly after.

Saira was in agony when she woke up next. Something hindered her breathing and she felt as if somebody was sitting on her chest. She blinked her eyes open to see the murky ceiling of the Med Bay. There was a window somewhere in the room, she thought, as she felt a cool breeze on her face. There was no light except for the burning of a few lamps.

Her shoulder length hair was open, sprawled over the sorry excuse of a pillow which made her neck hurt. Saira groaned in pain, trying to ignore the jabs of torture that hit her with every breath she took.

"Don't try to sit up."

The woman turned her head sideways to see Erwin sitting beside her, looking surprisingly immaculate. He rested his fists on top of his knees as he looked at her.

"My…squad…" Saira manages to croak before coughing. Each cough makes her regret opening her mouth.

"With the exception of Killian Knight, I regret to inform you that your entire squad perished." The commander kept his steady gaze on her, with hints of remorse in his voice.

Saira let out a dry chuckle, covering her eyes with her forearm, "Always so stoic and cold, Commander." When she received no response, she asked, "Were you…able to retrieve their bodies?"

"We cremated whatever we could salvage."

Cremated.

How long was she out?

"You were unconscious for four days." It was as if Erwin had read her mind, "The families of your squad have already been-"

"Forgive me, Commander, but that wasn't your job." Saira spat, sharply. The ache in her chest hurt her more than any of her physical injuries did at the moment. She wanted to rip her heart out to stop the pain.

Her squad was gone. Two years. Two long years they had fought together and now they were dead.

Erwin sighed, knowing that it was important for the woman to visit the family of the deceased personally. From the moment she had been appointed squad leader, Saira had felt that her team and their lives was her responsibility. And rightfully so.

"Why didn't you let Mike handle them?" The blond asked, ignoring the fact that his friend refused to look at him, hiding her face behind her arms.

"You know why, Erwin."

"He could've-"

"His olfactory senses could've led the survivors straight to camp, avoiding the titans to the best." Saira clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms. It was hurting all over. "In fact, I'm sure he was able to lead everyone back safely. He's stronger than me, yes, but at that moment his life was more important than mine."

"You could've died."

"But I didn't."

"Your injuries were fatal, Saira."

At this, she turned her head to look at him again and Erwin saw her trying to fight back tears, "Don't talk as if you-"

"Yes, I was worried." Erwin frowned at her, "I could've lost you too."

Saira clicked her tongue, "That's not something you'd actually ever say." Be as it may, she couldn't help but feel touched by his words.

He chuckled, "I believe the amount of blood on you when you arrived threw me off a little." Erwin stood up, "I'll leave you alone then. It's a little past midnight, if you are wondering." His hand hovered over hers, unsure whether or not to touch her.

"Why are you still up then?" Saira grabbed his hand, clutching it as firmly as her injuries would allow before letting go.

"I'm sure you know that there's no rest for the wicked." He still looked worn out, she observed in the dim light.

"I really wish you would stop saying things like that."

"Goodnight, Saira."

And with that, the Commander left her alone as she mulled over everything that had happened. It was then that it hit her, while watching the retreating back of her childhood friend, that her precious team members, her extended family, were gone forever.

Saira wept quietly, listening to the dulling sound of the footsteps and she wept still, long after the tapping of the boots had disappeared until sleep consumed her.

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