A/N: This chapter was inspired by every bad tick infested, mosquito swarming, flea bitten, leech covered summer camping trip I was forced to go on as a child. That and every measure taken to seek relief no matter how ridiculous.
The saga continues...
Considering Thundercrackers...condition, Starscream had been made to go on at lengths for some time about the conditions that flitmice found favorable and the reasons to avoid those conditions. The great Nemesis mouse outbreak of vorn 32 was still on the decepticon slag list of 'things we do not mention in front of Lord Megatron'. Damn near everyone on the ship had suffered at least one short infestation, the only saving grace being that for some reason the breeding egg layers seemed to prefer staying on Thundercracker only. Everyone from Ratbat to Megatron himself had ben reduced to scratching themselves on any available surface and peeling off their own armor in frustration. Come to think of it, the event had been so disastrous that the entirety of the decepticon army in sector 5 of Cybertron had been pushed record lengths behind their own lines. So you can see why every mech devoted at least some attention to preventing further outbreaks and making themselves scarce when mechs started scratching. Everyone except Skywarp who seemed practically immune to most parasites and wasn't that just fantastic.
The brig was actually one of the decepticons pride and joys, most of it's filth was considered ambiance and décor. However, in the interest of mutual survival, the fine layer of cultured grime was meticulously tended to so as to prevent unnecessary outbreaks of who knows what. If they didn't then the whole of their forces on ship would be contaminated, except Skywarp, and no matter what some people may like to say they were not a collective of morons. Their labs didn't blow up on a daily basis, their security systems were not hacked by humans every ten minutes and they did not allow random infectious materials a free reign of their base.
Who did you think they are? Autobots?
So the brig essentially doubled as quarentine and observation and had served as such during the great iron prion of vorn 12, the hideous biomass incident of vorn 24, the itchy mouse outbreak of vorn 50, the nasty thingy of vorn 55... etcetera...
So when a certain golden front liner and his sibling were forced to spend some time in their brig after an unusually long string of particularly bad decisions and a rather nasty new set of indents on a few mountainsides, no one thought much of it.
Most prisoners were subject to at least basic look over by the guard at present to affirm non contagious conditions but left under the care of Skywarp of all mechs... certain things went unnoticed.
Come to think of it, these thing usually started out with him anyway.
This time it started with the silence of a mech pushed beyond the normal limits of rage and contempt and the clattering of chains as bound hands tried to scratch a particularly stubborn itch on his backside.
Sunstreaker sat in a corner, he was dented, dirtied, angry to the point of that insane quiet that permiates the pre-postal stages and quite frankly ready to freak out. Everyone knew what happened to Mirage when he'd last been sent on a mission to this Primus forsaken place. The mech had come back and after only a few hours out of Ratchets care he had broken out in what looked like some horrifying variant of hives, acne and herpes. No matter Ratchets reassurances that mechs had nothing to fear of such kind of biological contamination and that no matter what Red insisted, no, it was not some decepticon super weapon; mechs were loosing it left and right anyway. He and his brother had hauled themselves away in their quarters with a can of disinfectant shortly after news came out that whatever Mirage had come down with had gotten to Hound. Ratchets cure had consisted of some kind of pink anti- itching cream (Sunstreaker would be damned before he put that on his armor) and chemical baths. Hounds cure had consisted of wallowing in mud... ironically both tactics worked equally well..
Sunstreaker had found himself in his own little hell; disheveled, bound up in a disgusting decepticon prison cell, guarded by the most annoying pit spawn ever to have crawled out from the slag heap and his plating still crawling with the thought of just what might be lurking in the grime he was being forced to sit on. He could hear the seekers trilling laughter even as the mech was working at his post. What happened next was only slightly mollifying.
"Ow! What'd you do that for!"
Rumble gave a half grimace as he picked up the thrown datapad and returned it to Thundercracker.
"It's your fault we're in here, it's your fault we have extra work and you are not going to make things worse by picking on the psycho."
Were Sunstreaker not too busy worrying about whatever was crawling up his aft he would have taken the time to glare at his snickering brother. All things considered though, things hadn't gone that bad, sure negotiations would take a while with how much energon was being demanded for their return but the washracks were waiting for him back home and his brother had been gagged. Thank Primus for small mercies but this itching was driving him nuts! It was psychological, it had to be. He'd seen what had happened to Mirage and now he was just freaking out...
Sunstreaker stood up for another round of pacing, stepping out of the corner of his cell and walking to the front, staring at the energy bars with a sigh and counting to ten just as Smokescreen had told him to.
1...
2...
3...
He caught his brother staring at him, the red mechs optics looked about ready to pop out of his head as he let loose with muffled cries for attention, bound arms flailing.
4...
5...
His brother was being an idiot and something weird was going on and the itching wouldn't stop!
6...
"I'm telling you TC, they were asking for it."
"I don't care if they were warp you know this slag always ends up in screamers lap and guess what. Here we are..."
Rumble watched the two argue uninterestedly, wondering just how Frenzy and that purple warping menace had talked him into deleting half of yesterdays file stock from Hooks lab. One thing was for certain, high grade was involved somehow and if it wasn't it sure would be!
7...
8...
Rumble turned to watch the now bronze menace pace his cell.
9...
"Holy slag what is that?"
10... wait what?
Rumble was looking at him like he'd grown a second head, wide eyed as he kicked Thundercracker in the shins despite the resultant yelp and pointed.
"Sweet Primus it's- it's... it's a thing!" Skywarp's shaking finger pointed directly at him and perhaps out of some fragile hope Sunstreaker decided to look behind himself rather than the more obvious place. Nope... which meant only one thing...
The screaming bitchfest and subsequent violent outburst that followed didn't meet it's end until the Constructicons had been called in and Hook had shot the mech full of Mixmasters special blend. The fraggers aft had been covered in scraplets, there must have been at least a dozen of them; tiny, strangely almost sentient creatures that fed on a mechs armor until nothing but the protoform was left, leaving mechs... for lack of better word: naked. The little parasites had various physical structures, some even looked disturbingly mech-like, with little arms, tiny teeth and itty bitty beady red eyes. Some even transformed into bolts or nuts and screws; it was weird and the species had captivated many scientists throughout the ages despite their relative rarity.
No matter the curiosity that had been found though, the brig was still quarantined and mechs still treated this incident like they always did: get the frag out and lock the door behind you.
Thus Starscream had been called in.
After Hooks frantic declaration of 'frag no' and 'holy frag no' it soon became clear that even Megatron could not threaten his own mechs enough to get them in a room with tiny demi-sentiant transforming parasites with rows and rows of tiny needly teeth that looked disturbingly like they were enjoying themselves as they munched golden aft plating. Which was why Starscream was here. Megatron knew the moment the flier stepped into the hall to look into the sealed off brig that he was going to regret this venture someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, somehow this was going to come back and bite someone in the aft...
Upon looking through the barred window to the main brig chambers where his trinemates were stuck arguing with each other a broad toothy smile overtook his features. A sharp smile that reminded more than a few mechs of a turbofox and bore a striking resemblence to the shredding mouths on a certain mechs aft. Having heard of the freakish infestation first from Scrapper and then from Megatron himself as he had been summoned to deal with it the xenobiologist in him had been absolutely tickled. He'd fought his way through the throngs of mechs abandoning ship and managed to get to the brig with minimal incident. He'd been right to be so, he'd known right from the beginning by the description alone that it was likely a scraplet infestation and he'd always wanted to have a proper look at one outside of a datapad. He'd brought his tool kits, some specimen jars, a small collection of pertinent datapads and was happily eyeing the wriggling mass of tiny things on bronze plating like he'd just been proffered Soundwave's head on a platter.
Sideswipe, bound and gagged and still in his cell was quite torn; revulsion, terror or anger... it was quite a decision.
Two small hands gripped the bars of the small window as Rumble hauled himself up and shouted down the hall. "Boss! Getmethehelloutofhere!" No amount of shaking the bars or pleading would get the cassette out of this mess as he fell to the floor and was promptly hit on the head by a scroll of tools and a thick glass container.
"Give them to TC or I can have you do my work."
Thundercracker looked betrayed and utterly mortified.
"No way! First the flitmice and now this! Frag no, why is it always me? What did I do to deserve this? This is all Skywarps fault anyway!"
Said mech turned to glare at him from his place at the front of Sunstreakers cell, pausing in his task of poking the gorging scraplets with a stylus. "Hey I had nothing to do with this. Besides their kinda cute." That got him a few looks as he sat crouched, petting a little one eyed scraplet with a clawed digit. "I think this one turns into a bolt or something... should name him..."
Leaving the mech to his usual train wreck of thought Starscream turned back to leering at Thundercracker. "See, they're not dangerous right now and besides, Warp would probably break something anyway." Rumble padded up to the big seeker with a sympathetic look. " 'Sall yours pal." With a particularly put upon look the flier took the tools given to him and slowly approached the controls to Sunstreakers cell, turning them off. There was no way the mech was getting up anytime soon, even the more adventurous mechs on board knew better than to mess with anything Mixmaster came up with so at least there were no worries there. Unrolling the scroll of tools with a grimace the seeker looked to Starscream and then back to the kit pulling, out a thick set of tweezers. Crouching down and opening the jar he carefully reached out to pluck one of the freaky little things off of the front liners bitten up backside, the long metal tips of the intsrument shaking with his hand as it brushed one of the things antennae and it hissed. He was about to pick it up when he abruptly stopped and a feeling of immense dread came over him.
"What do you mean they're not dangerous now."
That got a few mechs thinking...
Without even a put upon sigh Starscream explained, one might think he was enjoying himself, looking at the little abominations with glee. "They're in their larval stage now, given enough time and food they will progress to the second stage of their life cycle in which they are capable of reproducing at extraordinary speeds. Because of this their diet shifts to accommodate their energy and material needs and they will turn from eating just a mechs armor to outright eating an entire mech alive as they continue to multiply and devour. Don't lift them by the antennae, they're delicate now- what are you doing you fools..."
It wasn't actually a question, any mech with eyes could tell that everyone unfortunate enough to be in the brig at this time had flattened themselves against the opposite side of the room.
"GETUSOUTOFHERE!"
"They're truly fascinating little creatures. They can survive, dormant and without food or energy, indefinitely as they float along solar winds just waiting to land on something metal-like that they can eat. They can devour virtually any kind of metal as well, though they prefer living metal, incorporating the previous host into their own structure until they are all but indestructible by normal means. In fact, the reason they are so rare is due to that very efficiency, whole colonies have been wiped out before anyone so much as wrote a full report on them..."
"GET MEGATRON! Someone get Megatron!"
"Oh stop it, both of you, the sooner you get them into the jar the sooner I open this door."
Sideswipe, bug eyed, screaming invectives into his gag and pressed up against the opposite side of the cell was long past revulsion at this point. He doubted a can of disinfectant would be able to cure his brother if those things hit stage two so he sucked up his pride and put on his most pathetic turbopuppy eyes begging expression in hopes of convincing them to get those things off his twin.
"Someones gonna have to do it." Skywarp, wings hiked high and back stuck to the wall, knew just how stubborn his trineleader could be. "I say we take a vote..." Rumble immediately agreed, shoving his hand into the air. "All those in favor of TC doing this; hands up." All mechs who could do so raised their hands in agreement.
"I hate all of you..."
Thundercracker, ever virtuous and honorable Thundercracker, gathered his courage and shuffled to the bent over body of the once golden warrior, tweezers outstretched and his other hand holding onto the glass jar.
"You'd better hurry, I'd give you about four hours until they either shift into phase two of their development or seek out a new host to diversify their primary structure."
"Your not helping!"
Thundercracker once again crouched in front of the other mech, reaching out with the tweezers to pluck one of the little buggers off and deposit it into the jar. The problem became apparent when he started pulling, dozens of tiny clawed appendages held on with a surprisingly strong grip as the tiny thing stuck fast. The thing started to hiss and mutter as one by one it's tiny arms and legs were dislodged, leaving tiny black pinpricks as it was torn off. Thundercracker spared a moment to look disconcertedly at the horrible little monstrosity, its long bronzy body writhing as it's bladed arms reached out for him, hissing as it wriggled. With a shudder he dropped it into the glass jar, the little creature scrabbling for purchase on the glass sides of the container, glaring at him with three small eyes as it chittered. It looked uncomfortably similar to a certain seeker when he was having a royal sulk. He shook the jar out of resentment, scrambling the little things brains and earning an angry look from Starscream.
"I expect my specimens undamaged Thundercracker." If that wasn't a thinly veiled threat to leave them locked in the brig with those things than TC didn't know his trinemate for slag.
This was going to take a while, he could tell already, some of those things had a pretty solid hold on the fragger, it looked like he'd fallen aft first into a pit full of screws. Transforming screws with lots of teeth...
The next hour or so was filled with grumbling, yanking and the quiet plink of the tiny creatures being pulled from Sustreakers aft and dropped into their new glass home as they hissed and buzzed their displeasure. With a sigh he fastened the perforated lid onto the jar and sat back on his haunches, turning to glare at the brave, brave mechs who were still pressed up against the opposite wall of the brig. He grunted to himself as Skywarp directed a nauseatingly sweet smile to him. There were still at least a few of those things left on the mudslogger but he'd run out of room in the jar.
"That will do Thundercracker, report for decon wash down." Said mech turned around to come face to face with his trineleader's pleased visage.
"What are you doing!?"
Thundercracker jerked with surprise, the other mech having flagrantly broken containment protocol and walked into the brig as those still confined to it stared on incredulously. Starscream stood tall and arrogant, carrying a bucket of something that smelled corrosive.
"Oh please, you don't actually believe that I would leave you in here with a multiplicative mech eating parasite infestation hmmmm?"
"YES"
The resounding answer from all the mechs in the brig only made his cheshire cat grin grow.
" Theses creatures's advanced structure and their usual habitat is their downfall. It is known that an infection of scraplets can only be cured with a single very rare liquid compound. It is found nowhere in space or on Cybertron and on relatively few planets."
"What is it?"
"H2O." Starscream summarily dumped the bucket of seawater onto Sunstreakers half eaten aft, what remained of the small colony of scraplets hissing and screaming a disturbingly high pitched caterwaul as they flailed and began to dissolve into rust.
Starscream promptly seized his jar of specimens and sauntered out of the brig, cooing to them excitedly about how he couldn't wait to see their internals.
"You killed Bolty..."
Thundercarcker turned a glare to Skywarp as he reactivated the cell bars and went to get Soundwave. He'd be damned if he was decontaminating the brig.