A/N: Never read for five hours straight—you won't be able to see straight later. This has become one of those days that drag on for longer than they should have. It's like a day in March 2008 again. I'm thinking, one, two more chapters. Hopefully. Things just seem to get worse and worse. Must think of ending…
Ennyhaow… Let's get on with the show, and hope that it ends soon, eh? (No, I won't lay claim to the characters, but I will lay claim to my homework. No plagiarism, unless you wish for suspension.)
Chapter 10: Speed Up
A pile of red-tinged tissues were steadily growing on the floor and the bedside table as Tomoyo and Himawari battled against their gushing noses.
"Oh my god…!" Himawari sat with her head tilted back against the bed.
"I know, right?" Tomoyo was pinching the bridge of her nose and holding a wadded tissue over both nostrils.
"When you said your camera was good, I didn't realize that it w—"
"HEY! OW OW OW! LET GO YOU—" The door slammed open and an irritated Kurogane threw a squirming Alice in by the scruff of her neck.
"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BIPOLARITY!" Kurogane roared.
"YEAH? WELL, IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT—"
"RARGH!" Kurogane slammed the door shut. Loud footsteps could be heard retreating down the hallway. Alice sat on the ground, rubbing the back of her neck.
"Rgrrr…Damn guy's got a grip like steel…" she muttered.
Himawari cackled loudly, assuaged by perverted thoughts.
"What? No, never mind, I don't want to know." Alice grimaced at the tissues. "I can only assume that you two didn't get into a cat fight, and I'd like to keep it that way."
Tomoyo's eyes gleamed evilly. "We~ll…since you asked so nicely, you know how I hav—"
"Noooooo! Stop! I don't want to hear about it! I get enough of this at home!" Alice covered her ears and scrunched up into a ball.
"Huh? You mean your parents talk about their nights together?" Himawari was enjoying this newfound power.
Alice looked up, wide eyed. "Oh, ew, no! My brother…he treats me like a Sex Ed teacher. 'Alice, how do you know what a boner is…?' and that sort of thing."
"Whoa...um, too much information," said Tomoyo rolling onto her back, black hair fanning out, nosebleed stopped.
"Like you two are any better."
They were silent for a minute, casting about for something else to talk about. Tomoyo was looking strangely at Alice. Strangely, like calculating.
"Sooo…" Himawari was the first to break the silence, nosebleed having been taken care of.
"Umm…did you guys bug Fai's room?"
Tomoyo and Himawari shared a glance. "Yes…we did," Tomoyo said, slowly.
"So?"
"You can see EVERYTHING!" Himawari jumped up and down excitedly waiting for the laptop to boot up.
"What? Really?" Alice made an effort to seem excited. "You know, I wasn't serious about that…"
"We know," said Tomoyo. "But I had extra cameras, so what the heck?"
"And you can see EVERYTHING, see?" Himawari pointed at the screen. Alice walked over and bent down to look at the cameras, comparing points of views in her head.
"Whoa, you're right! It's like being in a panorama! Your camera's are really good, Tomoyo!"
"I know," Tomoyo purred smugly. "Hey, you know what else?"
"No," said Alice at the same time Himawari said, "What?"
"I have an idea~! And it involves yo~u!" she sang. "Himawari-chan, do you know what I'm thinking?"
"Does it have anything to do with toni~ght?" Himawari matched Tomoyo's evil grin.
"Am I missing something?"
"No, not really…it's just that I decided that you need a makeover."
"WHAT?"
"Come on~! It'll be fun~!"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Please?"
"I lived with a little brother for almost all of my life—You're gonna have to do better than that."
"Fine. Himawari-chan?"
Himawari held up Alice's cell phone. "Makeover, or you never get your cell phone back, ne!" She made a "na-na" face.
"HEY!"
"Come on~!"
"…Fine."Alice caved. Her mother would kill her for losing her cell phone. If all it took was to suffer through Barbie Hell, then she could do it.
"Yay!" Tomoyo hugged Alice. Alice squirmed, uncomfortable in her tight grip.
"Let go, please. I can't breathe."
"Oh, sorry! Let's go!" Relinquishing her hold, Tomoyo instead grabbed Alice's hand and Himawari grabbed Alice's free hand, casually slipping her cell phone into her pocket on the way. Together, they dragged a protesting Alice out of the hotel room and away.
Help me!
4:00 pm.
Click click click!
O.o
"Look, Kuro-kero! It's a bunny!" Fai pointed at the sky. They were in a grassy meadow, sprawled out on the blankets that Kurogane had thoughtfully brought along. "Because Tomoyo would kill me if I got her clothes dirty," was his excuse.
Kurogane grunted and turned over on his side to look at Fai. "There are other more interesting things than looking at the clouds like a complete airhead, you know."
"I know," said Fai. "Look! A turtle! But sometimes, cloud-gazing is fun. It's a nice quiet activity with relatively little mess." He laughed and draped an arm over Kurogane's side. "It's better than I can say about some of our other hobbies."
A light pink sprinkled across Kurogane's face. He grunted again and reached up to stroke Fai's hair. "This reminds me of a movie scene, where the two share a nice moment of peace."
Fai laughed and nested his head in the hollow underneath Kurogane's jaw. "Are you sure you aren't thinking of Twilight?"
"Nah, no movie could be that cheesy."
"Hmm…you never know." A broiling movement in the clouds caught his eye. "Look! A leaping dragon!" He pointed at a point over Kurogane's shoulder.
O.o
Ding! The elevator's arrival snapped Fai out of his thoughts.
"Finally!" Yuuko called out exasperatedly. The elevator doors opened to reveal a happy Himawari and Tomoyo and a sullen Alice. "Himawari-chan!" she cheered when she realized who they were.
"Oh, hello Yuuko! What are you doing here? We were just going shopping!" said Himawari, waving cheerfully while stepping out of the elevator. Tomoyo had Alice in a bruising grip. Alice was wincing repeatedly with an expression that read "Kill me NOW."
Yuuko smiled. "That's nice. Do you have Watanuki's and Doumeki's phone numbers, by any chance?"
"Eh? Yeah, but shouldn't you have your own assistant's phone number already?" Himawari asked suspiciously.
"Ahhh…well, Watanuki never needs to know that I never bothered to enter in his number!" Yuuko laughed, waving her hand. "Don't you tell him either, 'kay? Or else punishment of the most hellish kind awaits you," she added menacingly.
"Okay, okay. Get your phone ready. Watanuki's number is…" Fai lost focus and looked out the window again. There was something incredibly fascinating about the landscape today, or maybe that was just the art-sy side of him speaking.
"FAI! EARTH TO FAI!" Yuuko waved a hand in his face. He blinked.
"Wha-?"
"Let's go, I got Watanuki's number!" Yuuko's minions latched onto his arms and towed him towards Yuuko's direction. Her cell phone was already at her ear and she was listening to the dial tone. The three girls had already slipped off to somewhere. "Watanu~ki-ku~n!" Yuuko sang into the phone. Fai's mouth curled upwards in a bemused smile. It looked like he was going to have something to do in the hours before the concert.
4:10pm.
Watanuki's cell phone buzzed and he bent his arm in a bizarre way over two kissing couples and a vase of plastic flowers to get to his pants pocket. He retrieved the cell phone and retraced his arm's path and under a sugar bowl, flipping his cell phone open and placing it next to his ear. "Hello?" he asked warily. He didn't see the caller's ID. How could you? In this pink explosion of confetti?
"Watanu~ki-ku~n!" Yuuko's voice rang out loudly through the small speaker.
"WHAT?" Watanuki yelled into the phone. "NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME, YUUKO! I'M STUCK IN AN AWKWARD POSITION IN A FREAKING TEA SHOP AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT HERE!"
"Hmm? That's Hitzusen, for ya! It probably wants you to spend the day cuddling in some corner...What was I going to ask you again?" Whispering on the other end. "Ohh! That's right! Watan~uki-ku~n!"
Watanuki would have smacked his forehead if it didn't involve winding his arm around two gooey couples and another heart-shaped sugar bowl. Would have. Instead, he decided to say "WHAT?" again.
"Watanu~ki-ku~n! Let's go for a drink!" Yuuko sang.
This time, Watanuki really did make the winding path through the two gooey couples and heart-shaped sugar bowl to smack his forehead. "NO! ABSOULUTELY NOT! AFTER HALF A DOZEN BOTTLES OF CHAMPANGE, YOU ARE NOT DRINKING ANYTHING MORE ALCOHOLIC THAN WATER!" he yelled.
Halfway across the room and closer to the door (how did they get separated?), Doumeki covered his ears and sighed. He had to get over to the moron before he did something stupid, like cause a scene. Which he was already halfway there, but…the cops could be stopped. He looked across the room, scanning the area for the easiest path. The only one he could see was winding his way through two rickety fold-up tables, climbing over a couch and a flower-filled vase and somehow jumping over the cupids converging in the center of the room. He swore and jumped.
Meanwhile, Watanuki was steadily drawing in the stares of the sappy lovers in the vicinity while berating his boss. "NO IS NO, YUUKO! YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANYTHING THAT COULD POTENTIALLY CONTAIN ALCOHOL!"
Doumeki steadily made his way towards his boyfriend, hoping with all his heart that the little twig wouldn't cause too much of a scene.
"FOR THE LAST TIM—MMFPH!" A large arm wrapped itself around Watanuki's waist and a hand covered his mouth (ten blocks away, Yuuko sniggered and disconnected the call and Fai looked curiously at her). Watanuki snapped the phone shut and retracted his arm, struggling furiously against the mysterious man who had the gall to trap him in this hell hole. "Let me go, you bastard!" he yelled furiously through the hand. The result was something like "rrmpy mo mm-mmfff!"
"Shut up. You're causing a scene," the man whispered into his ear while he dragged the poor, bespectacled boy away. Watanuki stopped struggling and blushed. He hadn't realized that the "mystery man" was Doumeki.
"LET ME GO!"
Doumeki ignored him and continued to half-drag, half-carry him out of the crowded tea shoppe. Chi and Hideki had left quite a while ago without difficulty. What. The. Hell.
"Alright, folks! Just because it's Valentine's Day means that we need to have that special couple come up and sing something and/or propose!" said one toga-wearing cupid into a microphone from the center of the room. Well, that was random.
A spotlight beamed down from the ceiling and began swirling crazily. Doumeki dragged Watanuki even more quickly out of the shop, but not quickly enough. They were caught by the tractor beam of the spotlight and were pulled towards the center the floor.
Another toga-wearing cupid whistled. "Wow! What a lucky catch!"
Watanuki flushed. What the hell was up with these people? He was about to open his mouth to yell when he remembered that Doumeki still had his hand clamped over his mouth. He bit down. Hard. Doumeki winced and let go. "WHAT? NO! I AM NOT SINGING! I CAN'T SING! AT ALL! WHAT THE HELL!"
"But you have to sing," whined one of the toga-wearing cupids. "It's tradition!"
"WELL F—MRRPH!" Doumeki had covered up his mouth again.
"We'll do it if you let us out."
A fourth toga-wearing cupid pouted and both were reminded forcibly of a Fai that was off the deep end in terms of cheerfulness. "Fine."
Who knew Madam Puddifoot could get this bad?
4:45 pm.
Kurogane was doing something rare. He was sipping a cup of coffee and staring out of the window of his hotel room, taking in the scenery and thinking rationally like a samurai. He was also contemplating seppuku. It sounded painful, but there was something sacrilegious about it. But, disemboweling yourself was not a death that was particularly pleasant. Disemboweling yourself while someone watched was rather sadistic. Pain was one of those things, though, that come hand-in-hand with compromise, sacrifice and beauty (which is a little random). Within compromise and sacrifice comes the topic of "Love." What is "love?" Is it something pure, holy and all-that-is-God, or something much darker? Or is it merely subjective? Can you really define abstract ideas? Love develops into marriage. Alice is scared of marriage. Why is she scared of marriage? Marriage could hardly be something terrible, right? Most people end up happily living together after they're married. But look at the stats. One in three of all marriages end in divorce. Will that happen with him and Fai? What will happen before? After?
He punched the wall next to the window in frustration. Curse the girl and her damn thoughts. He needed a nap. He downed the rest of his coffee and fell onto the bed. Philosophy always gave him a headache.
5:00 pm.
Disappointed that Watanuki wouldn't go drinking with her, Yuuko decided to go shopping. For Fai. But she didn't tell him that. Noo...she might have accidentally left out a few minor details. Like that one.
Fai checked his watch. A little after 4:25, he decided that he still had about a couple of hours before he really had to get going and agreed.
Yuuko smiled evilly. Fai wondered why.
They arrived at the mall at four-fifty and Fai was feeling the stirrings of unease in his stomach. All through the drive, Yuuko had been questioning Fai about color preferences, style preferences, cut, size and whatnot. They quickly found a spot and Yuuko practically dragged him off into the mall. There, she kept a vise-grip on his arm and scanned the large room. Fai also looked around, albeit a little warily. A patch of dark colors caught his eye.
"Hey, Yuuko," he said loudly over the noise of the mall. "Look over there!"
Yuuko looked and a smile lit up her features. "Why, how 'bout it, eh? Fancy meeting them here!" She adjusted her grip on Fai's arm (he swore it was bruising) and dragged him towards the trio of girls. "Hello! Tomoyo! Himawari! Alice!"
Only Alice turned. Her eyes slid disinterestedly over them and over to the large sign that proclaimed "Borders." Her expression turned into one of longing. Bookstores were one of her favorite places. Tomoyo and Himawari were busy examining the mannequin in the window of a shop and did not notice. Yuuko, undaunted, kept fighting the crowd to get to them.
"Oi! Himawari! Tomoyo!"
This time, the two long-haired girls turned. Alice's eyes flickered briefly over to them, and then returned to examine a pattern five feet away. God, she hated shopping.
"Hey! Fancy seeing you three here!" Yuuko clapped Himawari on the shoulder.
"Hi, Yuuko! What're you doing here with Fai?" asked Himawari.
"We," said Yuuko, "are here to shop for clothing."
"No way! That's what we're doing, too!" Tomoyo chimed in happily. "But I thought you were looking for Watanuki and them."
Yuuko's smile turned into a leer. "Well, let's say they got a leetle caught up."
"Interesting," Alice butted in. "But can we please get this over with?"
"Oh! Right! Shopping!"
"Why don't we join them, Fai?" asked Yuuko mischievously. Fai's sense of foreboding increased and Alice looked at the glass balconies twenty feet above them. If only…
Tomoyo and Himawari exchanged a glance. Yuuko was notorious for haggling "for a fair price." But…with two dolls to play with, this could be even more fun than with one. They nodded in confirmation.
Fai and Alice wanted to drop into the ground. Hell just got a level deeper.
"I know the perfect store for these two!"
Oh, f—
Ninety minutes later, Yuuko, Tomoyo and Himawari walked out of the mall, carrying shopping bags and cheerfully chattering about their plans for the night. Fai and Alice trailed behind, exhausted. Fai's premonition had come true. In a flurry of clothing, the three active participators had stripped him down to his boxers and standing in a fitting room, at the mercy of whatever skimpy, overly-froufrou, or just plain monstrosity that is women's clothing was tugged, secured, or zipped on. Alice apparently hadn't fared much better. She was pale and dazed-looking, as if she couldn't believe what had just happened.
Fai checked his watch. 5:55. "Ne, Yuuko! As much fun as it has been with you today, I really need to get back to my parents' house to get ready for the concert."
Yuuko glanced backwards at him. "I'll drive you home, then."
"Alright, then," Fai warily agreed. He liked Yuuko, but sometimes, she was the strangest.
"I have to pick up Doumeki and Wata-kun, anyway," she tacked on, using the nickname that she recently gave Watanuki.
"Where are they, again? I forgot."
"At the charming tea shoppe that your sister seems to favor, Madame Puddifoot's." Yuuko made a heart with her hands. "Home of the most romantic grandmother in America."
Behind her, Alice turned around and fake-retched. "All I want to do," said she, "is get back to my dorm room and sleep."
Hearing this, Tomoyo turned around and grabbed her arm. "Ohhhh no you don't! We are far from done! You are getting a makeover whether you like it or not."
Something died on her inside.
They parted at the mall's entrance—Yuuko and Fai for the parking garage and the three girls to call for a taxi. Alice was drowning in a sea of despair and anxiety. I didn't sign up for this! Tomoyo flagged down a taxi and they climbed in, placing the shopping bags into its trunk.
"Westin Hotel, please."
Fifteen minutes and they reached the destination. Alice's insides were slowly convoluting and writhing with what was about to happen. Tomoyo paid the cabbie and Himawari, with help from Alice, pulled out the bags from the trunk. Inside the bags were things that Alice would never glance twice at, much less look at. Some of the bags contained cosmetics. Cosmetics. Ew. Chemicals that age you faster than you should. Blegh.
Himawari and Tomoyo tugged Alice up to their room and pushed her into a chair. Alice took a deep breath. When this was over, she was donating all of these…girly things…to GoodWill. Then, the two other girls closed in and she blanked out everything.
6:25 pm.
CRAASH!
"EW! Oh, HELL NO! I am NOT WEARING THAT!"
"YES YOU WILL IF YOU WANT YOUR CELL PHONE BACK!"
"YOU CAN TAKE THAT PHONE AN—mmm!" a muffled shriek swam through the wall.
Kurogane decided to check out what was going on. Sure, the shouting had stopped, but it sounded like his cousin and her friend had found a new…victim. He quickly brushed his teeth to get rid of the nasty taste and fuzzy feeling, running a hand through his spikes as he did so. Then, he stomped out the hotel room door to the one down the hall. He banged on the door until one of them came to get him. The sight that greeted him almost made him double up laughing. Inside, Himawari was restraining Alice's face and applying something with a brush. Alice was doing all she could to stay away, but to no avail. Her glasses were off, revealing the eyes that were hidden behind them, the lids of which were currently being abused by a multitude of brushes.
In short, Alice looked like an angry cat being used as a dolly by two six-year-old-princess-wannabes. But hopefully, she would come out looking better.
Kurogane should have known better than to laugh.
"YOU SHUT UP!" screeched Alice.
"MAKE ME!"
Alice glared.
"Yes, keep yelling, because I'm sure that there's a couple of people eight floors up who didn't hear you," drawled a voice from behind.
Kurogane whirled around in alarm. "WHAT THE FUCK, WITCH? DON'T DO THAT!"
"But you are not the boss of me."
"RRRR…"
"Where's Fai? And Doumeki and Watanuki?" asked Tomoyo, peeking behind the imposing woman.
"Oh, I dropped him off at his house…Poor man seemed so exhausted after that trip, I hope it doesn't affect his performance," said Yuuko, airily waving a hand in Kurogane's face. "As for the other two, well, wading through a sea of pink was never really my thing, so I decided to leave them there."
Tomoyo nodded knowingly.
"…aaaand done!" Himawari let go of Alice and squealed. "You look so pretty!"
"Where are my glasses? I can't see anything! Urgh, I hate make-up. They're just glorified chemicals that make you age faster, creating a vicious cycle that…" Alice mumbled to herself. Hate…hate…hate…hate…
Tomoyo gave Alice her glasses back, but not before she snapped a few pictures. Alice put them on, and moaned when she saw her face in the mirror.
"I look like a bimbo."
"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," said Tomoyo, completely unfazed.
"No I won't."
"Yes you will."
"I'm not doing this again."
Kurogane checked his watch and cursed. 7:05. That gave him barely enough time to pull himself together! The look Alice was giving him didn't help at all. Yuuko grinned from her position in the doorway.
"7:06," she sang, checking the time on her phone.
"Shut up! I'm going!"
7:07 pm.
A/N: I have been completely sucked dry by school. This took me, what, three weeks? Anyway, I'm going to spare you the rambling and the begging, so yeah.
I managed to jump a few hours, though. Yay! Almost there!