Gabriella stood in the middle of her closet staring at various outfits she had put together for Taylor's visitation. One was a pair of pin stripe black pants with a white blouse, one was her favorite pair of black track pants and matching track sweatshirt, and one was a plain black pencil skirt that belonged to Taylor with an ivory coloured blouse. Gabriella took a step back comparing the three outfits trying to weigh the pros and cons. She sat down on her fuzzy beige carpet and let her hands graze the tips of the fabric.
Earlier Gabriella had made plans with Chad and Troy to meet at her place at 6:45 so that they could all head over to the funeral home together. She stared out of her bedroom window and looked at the sun setting beneath the trees and the houses. She glanced back at her clock and saw that it was 6:32. She had less than 15 minutes to get ready before the boys would show up for the visitation.
Gabriella walked back to her closet to try to find the right outfit once again. Her mother knocked on the door before coming in while Gabriella turned stuck her head out of her closet.
"Are you almost ready Mija?" her mother asked.
"No, not really. I don't know what to wear, but my track suit is looking pretty inviting right now," Gabriella replied.
"You are not wearing that old thing tonight Ella. Choose one of the other two outfits, I like them. I don't remember this skirt though."
"That's because it was Tay's."
"Oh. Well, hurry Ella because the boys are going to be here in a few minutes."
"Yeah, I know. I just can't believe this is actually happening. I'm about to go to my best friend's visitation," Gabriella realized.
"I know Mija, it's not easy. But you will get through it. You'll be fine," her mother replied and gave Gabriella a hug.
Gabriella sighed again as her mother walked out of her room. She looked back at the two choices in front of her, and picked up one of the outfits. She quickly changed before heading downstairs to wait for the boys.
Gabriella was already at the door before the boys even had the chance to ring the doorbell.
"Hey guys. I'm all set," she said turning around to grab her coat and purse. "I'm going now mom. Be back later."
"Okay Ella, and by the way I think you made a good choice to wear the skirt," Gabriella's mother replied with a sad smile.
The three teenagers returned to Troy's truck and all got in together. They were quiet as they made their way over to the funeral home. No words were spoken to each other, the radio was off, and all that was left to be heard were the cars as they passed by.
The funeral home was fairly empty when they got there. It was only 6:55, so when the three walked in together Gabriella headed straight for Taylor's mom to give her a hug. Both girls were keeping the tears in for now, but knew that it wouldn't take much. Taylor's casket being rolled into the room for example, which had just made its way in. Two large men rolled it to the front and placed a large flower arrangement on the lower half. They spoke with Taylor's dad for a minute before walking back to the casket and opening the top half.
Gabriella barely held in a gasp as she saw her best friend, who appeared to be sleeping. The two boys' eyes grew wide as they stood behind Gabriella. She pulled a piece of paper and a picture out of her pocket and looked down at them for a minute.
"I'm right here when you need me," Troy said lightly placing a hand on Gabriella's back.
Gabriella nodded in return. She looked up at Troy then to Chad to see that both boys had glassy eyes already. She heard voices coming in the room and glanced back to see that some other students were beginning to file in Gabriella turned back towards the boys then looked down at the paper in her hands again.
"I'll be right back," she said quietly. Troy and Chad nodded, understanding that she needed a minute to say goodbye as best as she could.
Gabriella walked over to the casket and placed the note and a copy of her favorite picture of the two of them next to Taylor's still body.
"I'm gonna miss you Tay. I already do. Please don't leave me though, you know how much I need you to help me now. Just keep coming back to let me know that you haven't forgotten about me up there in heaven okay? I love you Tay. The sister I never had. I hope you're happy up there. You're okay now. No one can hurt you anymore. No one will hurt you. Be happy. I love you. We miss you down here," Gabriella concluded as she turned around to go meet Troy and Chad again and saw that many more people had already arrived. Gabriella looked around and found that she wasn't the only one with tears streaming down her face.
She made her way back to the boys and Chad mumbled something about going over. Troy wrapped his arm around the side of Gabriella's waist and kissed the side of her head. The two watched as Chad gently took Taylor's left hand and lifted it up for a minute. He spent another moment with her before he turned around to head back to where Gabriella and Troy were standing. As he began to walk back Gabriella noticed the small red flick of light coming from Taylor's casket.
"You put her ring back on her hand didn't you?" Gabriella inquired.
"Yeah… it was hers. Forever. I think it's the right thing to do. Plus what would I do with it? She should have it, even if it is this way."
"I think that would make her really happy. She always loved you with her whole heart you know," replied Gabriella.
The three walked over to one of the unoccupied couches at the side of the room. Gabriella grabbed a few tissues from a side table before sitting down between her now closest friends. A few of the students from their school came over to express their condolences to the three closest to Taylor. The night was a long one for most of those who showed up to Taylor's visitation. Many students from East High showed up to say one final goodbye to Taylor, or offer their condolences to her parents and friends. Gabriella felt betrayed that so many people were using this death as a reality check. Most students at the school knew Taylor, but few ever took the time to ever really get to know the person that she was. They simply accepted that one of their classmates was now dead and that life is short. Take what you get and use it. The entire school was affected by Taylor's death, but simply because they knew her. So many students acted like this death changed their life, but none of them had been affected the way that Gabriella, Chad or ever Troy had.
The three were still sitting on the same couch when a few girls came in only thirty minutes before the visitation was to end. Gabriella recognized the four as the head cheerleader, Stacey, and her three closest friends right away. They had never given Taylor the time of day; they barely even knew her name. Stacey was crying and had her arms wrapped around herself as she headed over to Taylor's mom.
"I'm so sorry Mrs. McKessie. Taylor is going to be missed by so many of us. She was such a beautiful person. She meant so much to me. I totally looked up to her."
"Well thank you… um…"
"Stacey. My name is Stacey," the cheerleader provided.
Gabriella heard this and was shocked. One of the worst girls in the school was acting now more fake than ever. Gabriella stood up and walked over to Stacey and Taylor's mom.
"Stacey!" Gabriella called out.
"Oh, Gabriella, I'm sorry about Taylor."
"What are you talking about Stacey?! You barely ever talked to her! You didn't know her. You didn't know anything about her! You're just some spoiled bitch who wants more attention and more people to feel sorry for you. I don't care if you've had a 'troubled childhood' or whatever and you're insecure but there is absolutely no reason that you should be acting like this! There is no excuse. I'll bet you haven't been through have the shit that Taylor had to go through. Until you now her, who she was, what she lived for, and why she is now lying there where I'll never ever be able to speak with her again, you can just stay the hell away! How dare you treat her like this? She meant nothing to you!" Gabriella spat.
"Gabi… come on, let's go," Troy said gently pulling Gabriella away from the scene that had unfolded. Both Troy and Chad shot Taylor's mom an apologetic look. Mrs. McKessie simply shook her head, silently telling the boys that it was fine, Gabriella had simply stood up for her best friend.
The three friends made their way out of the funeral home together and crawled into Troy's truck. They were all silent, questioning what had just happened. It wasn't like Gabriella to have such an outburst, especially in public. Chad turned to look at Gabriella and saw that she still had small tears leaving their mark as they slid down her cheeks.
"Gabs, what was that all about?" he asked gently.
"You heard what Stacey was saying. She had absolutely no…"
"That's not what I mean. It's not like you to burst like that. You're always able to keep your cool, you're even the one who's always calming either Troy or I down."
"I know. But Taylor was… is… my best friend. Stacey didn't know her. I just couldn't bear to hear anyone else take advantage of her death. It's not right, and I guess I just got fed up with it. Sorry if I embarrassed you guys," she explained.
"Gabi, you have nothing to apologize to us about. We both know that we've thrown our fair share of embarrassing scenes onto you," Troy said taking one of her hands in his while continuing to drive carefully with the other.
Troy soon pulled into Gabriella's driveway where she invited them inside, claiming that she didn't feel like being alone just yet. The two went inside with her and went downstairs while Gabriella went up to her room to change. She returned quickly and sat next to the boys in her grey sweats.
"Are you guys going to say anything at her funeral?" Gabriella wondered out of the blue.
"You know me and words Gabs. The two just don't go together. I feel like if I tried to say something big and important about her it would just turn out all wrong. I wouldn't want what I feel about her to come out all wrong. I think this way, she knows how I feel and there's no better way that I can put that into words," Chad said.
"I don't really feel like I knew her well enough to say something that would do her justice. I mean I know that she was a great person, but I never understood her like you did, and just like Chad, I feel like anything I say would just be what everyone else either knows or assumes about her," Troy added.
"I guess that's true. I think I might say something about her. I wasn't going to because I felt like there was no point because no one else really knew her and everyone was just using this as a reality check, but then I thought about that. And maybe I can use that as a different kind of reality check for them. Make them realize what they're doing and what they missed out on by never taking the time to get to know Taylor. Maybe I could change the way they see things, and they'll really value what they all have in their lives. And if there are other out there that don't have too many people that take the time to get to know them, maybe this can give them some hope. Because Taylor never cared about those who didn't care about her. She knew that those weren't the things in life that mattered and she was right. So if I can help even one person out by inspiring them to be more like Tay, then I think it'll be worth it," Gabriella concluded.
"Wow, that's incredible Gabi," Troy told her honestly.
The rest of the night was just like any other with the three. They hung out and talked for a little while before the boys headed home for the night. Things were starting to feel a little bit more stable in everyone's life. Gabriella was no longer threatening to break down in tears any longer, and everyone was beginning to understand that this was how things were going to be from here on out. Though know one was quite ready to accept that. The three understood that Taylor was not coming back, and Gabriella had spent so many hours, and days crying over her loss, she knew that no amount of tears were going to bring Taylor back to her. She hadn't had any dreams with Taylor in them again, but was still hoping to have the comfort of seeing her best friend again – even if it was only in a dream. Gabriella's mother was starting to feel more comfortable with leaving Gabriella alone again. It seemed that everyone was beginning to feel that the world really wasn't coming to an end just yet.
As she entered her bedroom later that night, Gabriella walked over to her computer where she began to type out a rough outline of what she wanted to say at Taylor's funeral. She knew that this would be important. It would mean a lot to Taylor to know that Gabriella had the courage to get up and say some comforting things to those out there that needed it, and could maybe give others some hope for the future. As Gabriella began to type out her thoughts, she began to feel as if they really were the truth. Sometimes everyone needs someone there to fall back on. And if anyone looked carefully enough, there's bound to be at least one person that would do anything for them.
Gabriella thought about this. Taylor always felt as though "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind". Taylor knew that she had a couple of very good friends that would always be there for her and that's all she needed. When Gabriella finished writing out what she thought she would say at the funeral she finally decided it was time for bed.
As Gabriella began to get ready for bed that night, she felt for the first time in a while that maybe, just maybe things would turn out alright.