AN: Thanks everyone for your lovely responses! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter as much as you did, I was really worried about it though. I hope you enjoy this one more :: grins even more evilly than last time:: mwahahaha! I'm sorry there has been a little gap with this chapter but I had some technical difficulties with it and so it required more time to complete. Can I take this opportunity to comment that this fanfic is not going to be a lemon…it might be a little citrus-y but there will be no explicit sex, so if that's what you are waiting for, I'm sorry to break it to you, but there's not going to be any sex!! Anyway with that out the way, let's continue…
It had been three days; three long, tense days. Three days since Lloyd had stumbled half crazed into the village with his best friend's prostate form in his arms. Three days since she had been given a life-bottle and three days for him to calm down. What sight he must have been to those kind but complete strangers. Dirty and bloodied he was like something out of a horror story; ranting and thrashing about like an animal. An old woman had taken into her house. There he had been given a good meal and bathed. Despite his generous treatment, Lloyd had protested all the way, desperate to see Colette to find out what had happened to her. She had been taken to the Doctor's house to recover with the life-bottle.
The old woman had supplied him with gels to heal his mashed organs, broken bones and lacerations. She wasn't Raine, but she did a good job. The only sign of injury now was his right arm in a sling, which was taking slightly longer to heal and dark bruising around his left eye. He knew he was fortunate to be alive. All thanks to Colette.
Sitting by her bedside, Lloyd still couldn't believe what she had done. It wasn't as though she had never cast that spell before. No, they had used it many times during battle, but never without a healer in their party and without meticulous planning. It was a calculated risk that Raine had kept control of. She was the Chosen for goodness sake; they couldn't lose her. But on that field, as Manfred literally held Lloyd's life in his hands, they both knew that risk was not an element. He remembered the look of quiet purpose she wore and felt his stomach churn. She had fully expected to die. She really did plan to sacrifice her life for his.
Lloyd was stirred from his thoughts as the Doctor entered the room. The grey haired old man cast a gentle glance over his patient. "Hello Mr Irving" Glancing at his watch, the Doctor took Lloyd's left wrist in his hand. Measuring the pulse he frowned gently. "Your pulse still hasn't slowed to normal. Do you remember what I said about relaxing?"
Lloyd hated going to see the Doctor. It was always one thing or another. "Yes Doctor, but how can I relax? She hasn't woken up yet!" Lloyd said, letting his gaze fall on the bed, he felt his heart dropping low in his chest. She was here because of him. When he had staggered into town and caused a huge commotion Lloyd had disturbed the local shop owner who had come out to see what all the ruckus was. He had dived back into the shop and carried out a dusty life-bottle. Someone had administered it to her straight away before Lloyd had been huckled into the old woman's house.
The Doctor had then kept her under supervision; applying his healing arts where and when necessary. As the Doctor looked him over now, Lloyd stared at the little angel beneath the covers of the bed. Her skin was no longer the sickly dead looking grey it had been, but glowed as normal. Swallowing hard, he remembered with painful clarity the feeling of utter helplessness and terror which had caught a hold of him. He would have clawed the sky down to turn time back. Now as she lay there as though only sleeping, he felt the heavy dread creep on him. With everyday she slumbered, her chances of waking up dropped dramatically. The Doctor had said it could be any day, or she might never open her eyes again. Lloyd prayed so hard.
For the last three days, he had knelt beside her bed, clutching her small hand tightly in his, kissing it and letting his warm tears bathe it, and prayed. He prayed and prayed and despaired. He didn't know what to pray to. Everything he had ever been taught had been a lie. He knew though, that there had to be something good out there looking after them. To it alone he prayed to save Colette just as she had saved Sylvarant and Tethe'alla. She didn't deserve this after everything they had been through; everything she had been through.
Could fate be so cruel? She was free! She had been freed from a tragic future by uncovering the sham it really was. Life had been given to her and she lived every moment of it as though it might end any second. Colette took nothing for granted and gave more than she was ever given. Why did this have to happen? The answer was obvious: because of him. Feeling despair welling up hot and agonising inside him, Lloyd half-listened to the Doctor. With a smile the grey haired physician left the room and the two young people in silence.
Lloyd didn't know if it would have been better if he had never chased after Colette and her party on that fateful day over five years ago. She would have gone off and solved the problem herself without the complications Lloyd's relationship with Yggdrasil and Kratos. No: he realised that he was the only one in the party brave enough to have stepped in and saved Colette back then. She would be dead now and the united worlds would still be apart, feeding off one another. But maybe that's where it should have ended. He should have done this himself.
Glancing out the large bay window at the falling snow, Lloyd knew it was all pointless now. There was no point in wondering over what could or should have been. He had to deal with the possibility that she might never be anything again. The thought was terrifying but all too possible. What would he ever do without her? Even being apart for only three months had brought him to his knees; literally. How could he possibly live without her now?
Taking her limp hand from the bedcovers, Lloyd pressed it to his lips and prayed that he wouldn't have to. Opening his eyes, his breath caught in his windpipe. Had her hand twitched just now, or was it his imagination? Staring down wide-eyed at her face, he studied it for any change. Her brow creased very gently and Lloyd felt like hitting the roof! With some effort her eyes slowly opened; adjusting to the dim evening light of the room. The young man gazed open-mouthed, totally enraptured by the tiniest movement. He felt his skin tingling in excitement as her gaze took in her surroundings slowly.
Finally she looked up at him with uncertain eyes. In a heartbeat her expression relaxed and her eyes glistened with joy. She was more beautiful now than ever before.
"Hi Lloyd" She said quietly and a little hoarsely.
Lloyd swallowed the lump of emotion tightening his throat. He was still clutching her hand in his, but he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let anything touch her again. Despite the overwhelming joy he felt, he couldn't help the frown that creased is features. "Colette, why did you do that? You almost died!" His voice was strangled and tight with sorrow.
Colette looked at his hand curled around hers and felt her eyes well up with moisture. "I…" Her voice was little more than a hoarse croak. "I knew you were in trouble, and I thought Manfred was going to kill you. I—I didn't know what else to do" She knew that was only half the truth. She had been more than prepared to die for Lloyd. The fact that she was able to lie and speak to him now was more than she could ever ask for. Even the look of fierce anguish and heavy emotion on his tired face was worth it to see him breathing.
"Colette I—I…" Lloyd was overcome. He hadn't meant for his first words to her to be berating. How could he tell her how relieved he was? How lost he had been without her? How much he had prayed for her? "Colette, this is why I left you in Iselia. Don't you see?"
The anguish in his voice hurt her deeply, but she only smiled gently. "I know"
"Didn't Dirk give you my letter?" he asked his tone a little softer this time. He placed her hand back on the bed, just now aware he had been almost crushing it in his grip.
Colette sighed quietly; although she had slept for three days, she hadn't regained her full strength. "No, not at first" She looked away sheepishly. "I thought you hated me, so I went to give Dirk back all the things that reminded me of you; I couldn't bear to see them any more"
It was Lloyd's turn to look away; this time with a red hot blush on his cheeks. He felt so ashamed of himself.
They both fell silent for a moment. Lloyd couldn't find the words as usual.
It was Colette who was first to break the quiet. "I couldn't just let you go on your own"
Lloyd looked up at her desperately. "But that's why I wrote the letter Colette! I—I had to make sure you understood why I left. I wanted you to stay."
Surprising the young man, Colette giggled. "I wouldn't have stayed if I knew you still cared about me" Lloyd blushed at the revelation.
The Chosen frowned as she tried to push herself up against her pillows. Lloyd left his seat to help her sit straight. Taking one hand and placing the other round her back, he felt the heat of her flesh and almost recoiled in shock. She suddenly felt so real and so alive; it was terrifying. Colette noticed his reaction and blushed. Pulling back the covers, she gingerly placed her legs over the side of the bed. Swallowing his reaction, Lloyd helped her stand and noticed right away that she was easier on her feet than he had expected her to be: it looked like she'd made a full recovery.
He followed closely behind her as she shuffled over to the window. She was dressed in a white gown that made her look even more angelic. Leaning against the window-ledge, the Chosen stared out at the slowly drifting snow and smiled. She didn't think she'd ever see the snow again. It had been the last thing she had seen before she had blacked out. She suddenly felt Lloyd's presence behind her and she was brought out of her reverie.
"Colette," He spoke finally, drawing her attention to him. Those wide blue eyes watched him with open honesty. "Why did you use "sacrifice"?" He asked. His eyes were so full of emotion shining in the reflected light of the perfect snow outside.
Looking away from his deep brown eyes, she stared at her hands absently. "Well…I thought you were going to die, so I—"
Lloyd cut her off "-But it would have killed you! We don't have a healer!"
"I know" She said, feeling the blood rushing to her cheeks again as his handsome brown eyes waited for her words. "But it…" She remembered how she felt marching through the snow to find Lloyd; so full of courage and strength. She borrowed some of that feeling back and looked up at him with all the bravery she could muster.
Lloyd marvelled at the rosy blush on her pale skin and nervousness dancing in his bright eyes; so alive. Alive: it amazed him!
"…it didn't matter. I wanted to save you Lloyd, like you always save me..." The blush felt like it had turned her whole face beetroot and was quickly spreading down her neck. "But I—"
The young man felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't hold her open gaze any longer, but he couldn't look away either. As the heat rose to his face as his eyes danced all over her face. He fumbled for words. "W-well you could show me, like we used to" he said, trying to sound as casual as possible. He offered his outstretched palm. "Just pretend we're in Flanoir."
Colette glanced out at the window. With the snow falling down quietly and softly, it could be Flanoir.
One part of Lloyd screamed to leave it alone; to ignore what she had perhaps, maybe, hinted at. The other part of him waited with baited breath for her next words; hanging and holding to let her say the words that that part wanted to hear.
Looking at his smooth, warm hand, the Chosen considered writing with her finger, but felt her strength give out at the sheer embarrassment of it. What could she do? Colette felt her courage waning and desperately tried to grab hold of it. Scrambling for Lloyd's hand, she took a deep breath and kissed his open palm.
A tense moment grew and grew between the two. Colette still held his hand tightly, but was at a loss as to what to do next. Lloyd stared dumbfounded and shocked for an instant. It was so awkward; so unbelievably difficult.
Colette just wanted to run away, but knew she couldn't. There was nowhere to go. "I'm-sorry-I-just-wanted-to-show-you-that-I-care-about-you-so-much-I-mean-as-a-friend-well-more-than-a-friend-I…" Colette trailed off miserably.
Lloyd was trapped. She still held his hand in both of hers, and he knew how fragile she must feel. He couldn't just pull it back like his head screamed at him to.
Colette took another deep breath and slowly explained herself. "I…I came back to bring you home." She looked up at him, the remainder of the blush still burning furiously on her face. She slowly let go of his hand, feeling as though she had missed her chance. "It's time to stop this"
He was still at a loss for words. If he'd been more a man he'd have responded to that perfect moment she'd created. Now he fought to keep focused on what she said, and not let the emotion carry him away. It was all going too fast for him! "B-but Colette, I can't go home yet. Don't you see?" he turned his head away, frowning painfully. This had changed nothing. With a sigh, he leaned his head against the frosted glass.
"There's so much still to do; so many exspheres out there to find. It's my responsibility." There was a heavy feeling of dread. How could he explain to Colette? She had already given her life to stop him. He was torn between the life she had given for him and the debt he felt he owed the world.
"Look Colette, you-you should go back to Iselia; you'll have a happy life there. You deserve a normal life and to settle down and get married" Even as he said the words, he felt them cut him open like blades. He wanted that with her so much. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn't bear to think of Colette in another man's arms; no matter how good and deserving he might be.
Colette stared up at his tortured face. Didn't he understand? Before she could even contemplate what she was saying, the words broke forth; impassioned and full of energy. "Lloyd, it's not your responsibility!"
He stared at her startled again.
"You've done so much Lloyd, it's time for you to stop now! You could do this for a million years and never find every exsphere!" Her eyes were alive, fierce but pleading; imploring him to understand. Her complexion was still crimson, but with determination, rather than embarrassment. She had never been so firm and resolute with him before. He was utterly captivated finding nothing strong enough to counter her argument. She paused for a deep breath. Her eyes searched his and her tone became softer.
"Who said it was your job anyway? Who said you had to do it?" He couldn't fight her. She was right. He had brought it all on himself.
"Who said we had to do it? Who said we couldn't have a normal life, we couldn't settle down and get marr—"
Colette stopped herself before she could finish the thought. Her blue eyes grew wide at the realisation of what she almost said. Lloyd's reaction surprised her too. He was mildly taken aback, but his eyes were full of something new; something she hadn't ever seen. They were intense and focused on her; almost as they had that night in Sohm.
"Th-that is—I mean—well, that we—I mean…" Her excuses ran dry as Lloyd continued to gaze at her.
He was breathless as his heart pounded fiercely in his ears. He couldn't take his eyes off her beautifully flushed face, her lively blue eyes; her perfect full lips. It clicked. Everything finally fit. She was right. He had given this duty to himself. It had taken her sacrificing her life to make him realise. He could spend his life chasing an objective that was impossible; ignoring the thing that he wanted most in his life. He had earned the right through battle after fearsome battle to retire; to let someone else save the day.
Colette's voice was barely above a whisper as she recognised what it was that was making Lloyd gaze at her so. "You're not responsible"
Stepping closer, Lloyd left all logical thought behind and found his moment. She was waiting for him, as she had always been. Everything she had done was for him. She had come with him because she felt the same way he did. She had endured all the fighting and the injuries just to be near him…just for this moment. It seemed the most natural thing in the world to put his arms around her. Enveloping her in a hug, he thanked whoever or whatever it was that had answered his prayers.
Colette melted against his frame, feeling her heart pound as she took in his heat and his scent. It was a heady mixture and she felt herself delightfully light-headed. She felt his arms holding her securely and wished secretly to stay there forever. Lloyd breathed her in and realised for the first time in his life that he belonged. The guilt of his mother, the debt for his father, the disgust at his own failings; they didn't control him anymore. If he'd been unsure about the hand fate had dealt both he and Colette, now he was sure; this was his place.
Lloyd began to draw back, aware that he had been holding her for a long time. He stopped; their faces were so close. They weren't quite touching but her eyes so near and her breath so soft and warm against his cheek heightened his senses. Colette froze; so close. Her lips were mere inches from his, slightly parted in anticipation. Colette was unable to breathe as his gaze focused on her mouth. Lloyd was teetering on the edge, but her gaze; wide and full of barely contained emotion, begged him to fall. Eyes sliding close, Lloyd finally bridged the ever-decreasing divide.
Heart slamming in his chest, he felt his sense completely overwhelmed. Defences broken down, Lloyd's lips gently caressed Colette; indulging in the soft, smooth untouched paradise of her kiss. Colette felt her skin alive, as the moment she had agonised could only ever be a dream took hold of and claimed her. His gentle taste and perfectly warm lips caused her blood to burn in her veins. Lloyd's tender embrace moved her and she could feel the tears trace warm comforting trails down her face.
They parted slowly, but not awkwardly. Lloyd's eyes opened slowly, unwilling to break this beautiful spell over him. He gazed down; eyes half-lidded and breathless into the face of a heavenly angel. Colette's cheeks burned hot and she immediately felt the loss. She couldn't speak. There were no words. They didn't need them. All their lives they had protected their hearts with words that had no meaning.
Lloyd's fevered brow broke gently in concern. His thumb tenderly traced the streaks of her tears. "Colette?" He asked, gently.
The blonde angel pressed his larger hand against her cheek and let her eyes close. A radiant smile filled her face. His frown melted as he gradually understood. He felt a lump in his throat: tears of happiness.
With moist eyes she gazed back up into his flushed, gentle face. Drawing her near as he cupped her face, he paused, searching those painfully beautiful eyes one last time.
Lloyd's voice was nothing but a gruff whisper. "I-Is this what you want?"
His Colette; his Chosen, closed her eyes and nodded slowly, a warm smile lighting her features in heart-aching certainty.
An addiction had been born in him, and as his lips met hers for only the second time, the thought of a life without knowing the utter bliss of her kiss was inconceivable. Colette allowed her hands to smooth over his firm chest and rest so naturally.
They were as a painter's composition framed so perfectly in the window of softly falling snow; a pose echoing their difficult past and heralding a welcome future. A future free not from danger, hardship and grief, but made worth the struggle; together.
AN: WOW EH??? Was it what you were expecting? I'm not 100 sure about the ending, but I'm willing to live with it. There's still one chapter to go, so don't give up yet Hope you enjoy it.