Chapter 10: A Raccoon and a Fox Go Fishing
Author's notes:
It's been several months since our raccoon helped stop the dreaded Feline Distemper outbreak and survived both his encounter with the gangster Al Catpone and also his friend Meredith's sexual appetite. To celebrate, our two intrepid friends go fishing…hey what could go wrong? So what's going on between Jake and Marie? Three more chapters before our raccoon's next big adventure I've dubbed Lost Mountain. Comments about the story so far would be appreciated, just don't say anything fishy.
"Damn you Nick Wilde!" moaned the slim raccoon. Jake was hunched over the boat's railing.
"How's this any of my fault, coon?" asked the red fox in a green tropical floral shirt. He flinched as the raccoon threw up again over the side of the boat, but it was a nice boat. It was a stout 22 foot white cabin cruiser named Sea Witch outfitted for offshore fishing and was just right for the two medium sized mammals. The boat swayed and rocked as it made its way through the waves.
"Hey landlubber, keep it off the deck!" yelled the boat's skipper, the crusty old seal was smoking a cigar of rolled tobacco with kelp and its stench did not help the raccoon's stomach problem.
"Jake, how would I know you can get seasick this easily?" Nick said. "You're a raccoon and most of you have water bodies in your last names. Come on, your last name is Runnel, as in a small stream!"
"Oh this will be fun, you said. We'll catch some fresh fish, you said. Impress the girls, you said," intoned the raccoon to the bemused looking fox. "How many fish have we caught so far?"
"Ah, we have barely even left the harbor," Nick quickly answered while pointing to the blue green water around them. "The fish are out there, in the bay."
"I can swing her around and sail back to berth if you want landlubber," the skipper injected. "But you will still owe me for four hours."
The raccoon waved his paw as he grumbled, "No, I said we'd fish and besides I don't have anything left to puke up anymore."
The seal reached into the cooler and tossed the raccoon a ginger ale, "Sip on this, it'll settle your guts."
"Thanks!" muttered Jake as he wearily sat on a bench. Then looking at Nick he added, "So I gave up looking at Marie in her bathing suit for your ugly mug, fox. I think it's you shirt, not the sea, which is making me sick. At least you didn't wear that damned tie."
"Hey, this shirt is a classic," laughed Nick. "Besides, I'm a police officer and I had to protect poor Marie from your stalking eyes, coon. When she took off her robe at the beach, you began to drool at her in her bikini. Just how many hours could you have sat there with your legs crossed and a towel in your lap covering your boner?"
"I wasn't that bad, was I?" Jake asked. "I mean, she is gorgeous...and witty…and sexy…and those eyes…and that smile!"
"I don't think you were looking at her smile," scoffed the fox and the raccoon's ears began to blush. "I can't believe you two have been dating for all of these months now and you haven't made your move!"
"It's called be a gentalmammal, fox!" the raccoon replied. He actually looked offended by his friend's statement. "Marie is special to me and we will do it when the time is right."
"Do we need change course and sail up river to River Street? The ladies there can fix what ails you landlubber," the skipper asked. "Of course they'll do it for a price."
Jake looked up at the seal and replied with a grin, "Those ladies know me and that I'm now seriously dating. They would kick me in the tail if I tried to hire one of them."
The seal asked, "Did you use to go there for work or for pleasure?"
"Back before I got a real job, I lived in one of those cheap seedy motels," replied Jake. "I spent a lot of my social time and money with the ladies."
"My cousin owns a dive down on the riverfront called Down the Hatch," the seal said. "It's a real hole, but rowdy enough after midnight when the locals come in. You've been there yourself?"
"Know it like the back of my hand," boasted Jack. "It has the coldest brew and the worst food around. So your Pete's cousin? I fixed his freezer a couple of times before it finally bit the dust."
"Damn, your that scrawny raccoon that used to come bumming for odd jobs," laughed the seal. "I thought you became a first class thief, so why are you hanging out with a cop? That is if you two landlubbers aren't pulling my flippers, I didn't know they trusted foxes to be cops?"
Nick gave him an aggravated look before replying, "Yes they do! So you knew little Jake when he was living on River Street?"
"Hold on its choppy here about," the seal suddenly said. The small boat was briefly tossed about before settling into a back and forth rhythm "You feel any better raccoon?"
"Yeah, I think the ginger ale helped settle my stomach," Jake replied.
"That and the fact you've already barfed up today's lunch and breakfast, along with yesterday's dinner and lunch," Nick added. He give the seal one of his infamous sly grins and asked, "So as I was saying, you knew my friend here back when he was a desperado?"
"I never would have called him a desperado," the seal barked. "I was there one night when he was rather acrobatic. Some of us still call him Rocky the Flying Raccoon."
"Hey that's not funny!" objected Jake. "Besides, I didn't fly. I was thrown."
"Wait, you were what?" Nick laughed.
"Your landlubber pal came in boasting about a big heist," the seal started to explain.
"Alleged heist," the raccoon quickly interjected. "My friend really is a cop, so let's be careful."
Nick rolled his eyes and laughed.
"Okay, so your pal came in all excited, with a cute wildcat on one arm and a sexy vixen on the other. You know hookers," the seal continued.
"Hey, those are my friends! Show some respect, they're ladies," Jake interrupted again.
"Okay, two LADIES!" the seal laughed. "Anyways after a couple hours of drinking, pretty boy here gets between a drunken walrus named old Squid and an angry bear. Now in all fairness he was trying to make peace, but Squid just grabbed him and chucked him into the air over his shoulder. Now your landlubber pal landed in the rafters and was fine. But the wildcat he was with, she hissed and launched herself at Squid. He grabbed her and tossed her in the air too, suddenly down swoops the raccoon on a loose cable and snatches her in the air like a circus act. All the time he was yelling like a wild animal."
"I tried to grab her with my left paw, but she grabbed my left leg and tail," Jake added. "Her claws were still out, so I was yelling in pain."
"Anyways, he and the cat stayed in the rafters most of the night," said the skipper. "We'd toss bottles of beer up to them when they called. Say how did you get down?"
Jake's ears blushed and he muttered, "I passed out and fell onto Crissy."
"You mean the large hippo, who wore the low cut blouses?" asked the seal. "You feel into her lap?"
"No, I fell inside her blouse!" replied Jake. "I went places a coon should never go." He grinned as both the fox and seal laughed.
The seal squinted and wheeled the boat around so they were near a number of other boats, and he radioed, "How they runnin today?...ok….I'll let 'em know." Turning to his passengers he said, "Bait the hooks and let them drop. They've been catching seabass and bluefish from the bottom. Oh and make sure you use the rod holders because I don't want to have to haul you out of the sea if you get a big one,"
For the next few hours both Jake and Nick pulled in a few fish, but they spent most of the time talking and laughing. Suddenly Nick hooked a big fish and his line ran out as the skipper proclaimed, "That's a nice one fox, you need to play the line and wear it down."
For the next fifteen minutes Jake watched his friend, with the skipper's assistance, battle the fish closer to the boat. Staring off in the distance, he noticed something large just under the water approaching the boat. As it drew closer, a triangular shaped fin broke the water's surface and he asked, "Ah, skipper is that a shark?"
Just as he said these words, the large shape disappeared under the waves. Nick had finally worked the fish closer to the boat and the skipper had excitedly grabbed the grapple, when suddenly there was a huge jerk on the line. Nick frantically reeled in the line, but all that remained of the fish was its bloody head.
"Holy crap!" Nick yelled as they watched the huge shape turn back towards the boat. The skipper quickly waddled back to the pilot house and was on the radio.
"Don't stick your heads out over the sides like that landlubbers, that shark might snatch up and chop them off!" he yelled at the raccoon and fox. "He's only a fourteen footer, so we're fine because they never attack a boat." Just then the boat rocked as the shark bumped it.
Both Nick and Jake looked up at the seal with wide eyes. "I thought you said they never attack a boat!" the fox yelled.
"That was just a love tap landlubber," the skipper laughed. "Now buckle up your life vests and if he turns us over, you two cling to each other."
"Why would we do that?" Nick asked.
"That way you'll look like a bigger meal," the seal laughed again. "While he's busy eating you two, I can swim away."
"Har...Har…not funny seal!" Jake said. "I thought captains always went down with their ships?"
"This is a boat landlubber and not a ship," the skipper replied. Again the boat rocked as the shark swam by.
"Shit!" Jake yelled as he pointed at several more large black fins heading towards the boat. "Here comes three more!"
"Don't they teach you landlubbers anything in school," the seal laughed. "That's the Bay Patrol and they're orcas. They're mammals and not fish, so they'll take care of that finned menace."
Both the fox and raccoon watched as the large mammals swam by the boat. "Don't look at me fox," Jake said. "I went to college to get an engineering degree, so I didn't take many biology courses. Say, didn't you drop out at fourteen and never finished school? I thought you had to have at least a high school education to get a job as a cop?"
"I got my GED in my early twenties," answered Nick. "Finn practically dragged me to class to get it, but I guess he knew I never had a real heart for hustling and wanted me to prepare for something better."
"He's a good friend," the raccoon added. "In his odd way, he really deep down does loves you like family. I mean in a foul mouthed, loud, and angry uncle kind of way." Both friends laughed.
"Hey skipper, are they running the shark away?" asked Nick.
"No, that shark is their meal," replied the seal. He started chuckling as both the raccoon's and fox's ears laid flat and they stared at him with open muzzles. "They'll stun him with a head butt, flip him, kill him and eat. It's the way of the sea, landlubbers. It's the way of the sea!"
Just then a patch of blood began forming where there had been an underwater struggle. The killer whales rose to breathe before they dove again. "Gross," muttered the raccoon. "It almost makes you want be become a vegetarian."
"You're going to give up fish, bugs, worms, chicken, and crayfish?" asked the fox.
"Hell no," Jake replied. "I said almost, after all we've all these fresh fish for dinner. By the way, do you know how to cook them?"
"On a stove, with butter and lemon," Nick said. "Too bad we don't have a stove at the park. It would be cool to cook out."
"We'll clean and filet them once we get back," interjected the seal. "Then you two landlubbers go see Sally at the corner grocery and she will help you get the seasonings, fixings, and of course some wine. Bill across the street has some nice beach blankets, tell him I sent you and he'll give you a discount. The park's got plenty of grills and after dinner you can catch the moon raise from the beach."
"I'll handle the cooking," Nick said with a grin. "You can buy the stuff."
"Works for me," laughed Jake. "When's dinner, for some reason I'm starved!"
"Landlubbers!" the skipper chuckled as he turned the boat back towards the harbor.
Back at the dock the two friends watched as the seal deftly used his knife to fillet the fish. Between the two of them, they had caught several dozen fish. However, they had released only but the largest three to eat and three for the skipper to keep. After Jake handsomely tipped the seal and they gave their farewells, the two happily left with a plastic bag full of their fish fillets and ice.
Their first stop was the corner grocery, where another seal named Sally made recommendations on seasonings and gave them instructions on cooking the fish in foil packets. They bought a roll of aluminum foil, some olive oil, butter, coleslaw, fresh cucumbers, zucchini, wax and green beans, red peppers, a loaf of crusty bread, paper plates and silverware, plastic glasses, and a bottle of wine. Jack also insisted on a bottle of pink Champagne and a rolling cooler. Across the street, they purchased two beach blankets and a bag of charcoal. Then finally, they slowly tugged their treasures back towards the park near the beach.
"Next time I am hiring someone to do all this lugging!" Jake complained as he pulled the cooler. "These little wheels are useless in the sand."
"You've got more money than common sense coon," Nick replied. "It seems like we're forgetting something?"
"A real chef!" laughed the raccoon. Just then something caught his eye and he grinned. "Hey Nick, do you have your badge?"
The fox looked puzzled until he saw what his friend was looking at. "No absolutely not! If Bogo ever found out, he'd pin my ears to the ceiling and let the rookies use me for taser practice."
Jake huffed at his friend as the old goat in a meter maid uniform slowly went riding by in her three wheeled cart. Turning back to the fox he whined as he said, "There goes our ride!"
After finally slowly dragging the cooler across the sand and into the park, they found a table and a grill. "I'm going to go get the girls and you can start the fire," Nick said.
"Hey, you're the chief tonight," protested the raccoon. "I'll get the girls and you start the fire."
"No, you'll see Marie in her bathing suit and forget all about food," replied the fox as he began walking toward the beach.
"I hate it when he's right!" Jake mumbled to himself. He wadded up some paper, poured the charcoal on top, and then he realized what they had forgotten.
A few minutes later Nick returned with Judy and Marie. Puzzled he asked the raccoon, "Why didn't you start the fire?"
"We forgot the matches," laughed Jake. "I tried rubbing two sticks together and that didn't work."
After a quick jog to the shop, Nick returned with some matches and they lit the fire. The fox laid out the ingredients for their meal. He sliced the cucumbers for an appetizer and opened the bottle of chilled wine. He then made three packets with the fish, sliced zucchini, diced peppers, and some of the beans. The forth packet had had everything but the fish and extra beans. He sprinkled the seasoning and oil over the food, just like the shopkeeper had instructed.
Their dinners were phenomenal, the fish and veggies were cooked just right. They ate the creamy and crunchy coleslaw on the side, and the bread was used to sop up the juices. After cleaning up and putting out their fire, Jake and Nick carried the now almost empty cooler to the beach. Judy and Marie laid down the blankets just as the sun was beginning to set. Jake opened the pink Champagne and poured everyone a glass. Each couple snuggled as they watched the moon rise over the bay and the stars begin to twinkle.
Nick whispered into his wife's ear, "I think those two could use some alone time, Carrots." He took her paw and they strolled down the beach into the darkness.
"Sugar, I Had a great time today," Marie said as she kissed Jake's cheek. "But between the price of the charter boat and the groceries, it must have cost you a fortune. You know you don't have to spend money to impress me."
Jake shrugged and replied, "What good is money, if you don't spend it on the ones you love?" Then realizing what he said, he tensed up.
"Are you saying that you love me?" Marie asked in a soft hesitant voice.
Jake sat up straight and looked her in her eyes before he answered, "Yes I do! I think I do love you, Marie."
She took his cheeks in her paws and whispered, "I think I love you too!"
The two raccoons shared a passionate kiss and then another.
Down the beach, the rabbit's long ears twitched before Judy squeezed her fox's paws and she said, "I think they could use a little more time by themselves."
"You sly bunnies and your hearing," chuckled Nick as he leaned down to kiss her.