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Chapter Ten
The Visitor
Esmerelda was discovered on the floor by the next nurse who went along to get some medicine for a patient. When she found the blonde slumped over she was not breathing and nurses and doctors rushed in. One of the nurses found the box of pills next to her and gave it to the doctor. Knowing exactly what she had taken would make it much easier to treat her.
They contacted her parents as they started working on her. They started by shocking her, trying to get her heart rate regular and then they could treat the overdose. They were not even sure if they would be able to save her, but they were definitely going to try. The doctor was relieved when he managed to bring the girl around but her body was still poisoned. She still had a long road ahead of her.
Esmerelda woke up but kept her eyes firmly shut just listening. She could remember taking the pills and she wasn't sure if her attempt was successful and she was waking up in the afterlife or she was still alive. She slowly opened her hazel eyes and the bright lights of the hospital shone in her eyes as she slowly came back around.
"Esmie" the girl heard someone say. They sounded familiar but she could not tell who it was. She was groggy and confused, everything seemed blurred but her vision was slowly coming back into focus and her parents faces appeared in front of her.
"You are alright darling, what on earth were you doing?" Mr Hallow asked sounding upset. Esmerelda was annoyed she had failed, she hated her life right now.
"Ethie….Sybie…." Esmerelda said the only two words she seemed to be able to get out. The only two words which were making any sense to her right now.
"They are at school, we didn't want to tell them about your stupidity, it has being two days since you have being awake" Mrs Hallow told her daughter sounding both annoyed and upset about her daughter's suicide attempt. Esmerelda knew they would not understand why she would do something so drastic.
"I want them..." Esmerelda told her parents really upset. She needed to see them both. She thought for once her parents had done the right thing keeping quiet about it but now that she was very much alive she wanted her sisters.
"You can visit once you leave hospital, let us not bother them right now" Mrs Hallow told her and Esmerelda sighed knowing she could not do much and her parents were just going to want to forget about this. A nurse walked over and smiled as she saw the girl was awake.
"Thank goodness, you gave us all a scare" she said to Esmerelda moving her so she was sitting up more. Esmerelda could hear her parents talking but she was so far down in her depression she wasn't even listening, she just kept her head on her pillow. Another nurse walked up to the one attending to Esmerelda and said something to her and she nodded before talking to Esmerelda.
"You have a visitor" the nurse told her moving out the way and Jessie walked into the room awkwardly. Esmerelda looked at her and then looked away not knowing why she was here and not really caring, if she ignored her she would probably leave. Mr and Mrs Hallow went with the nurse to fill in some paperwork leaving the two teenagers together.
"Hi…." Jessie said. Esmerelda closed her eyes. She was not going to talk to Jessie, she was not her friend.
"I heard what happened, it is around social media" Jessie told the girl explaining how she knew what had happened.
"Look I am sorry for helping Cynthia I don't want you to kill yourself, I am scared of Cynthia too that is why I went along with her" Jessie told her friend as she sat down to face her better. Esmerelda just blinked not saying anything to her.
"I know it is not an excuse, what I did was plain evil but I honestly didn't know she was going to...cut your arm...she never told me that part….I did try to stop her….and I was the one who told the teacher and saved your life" Jessie went on not caring if Esmie was not talking. She has to say everything she had come to say.
"I don't know why you bothered" Esmerelda replied speaking for the first time. "My life is pointless now, I have nothing left" Esmerelda replied letting tears fall down her cheeks.
"No...don't say that, you have your sisters don't you? That is something" Jessie replied seeing the positive side.
"I lost my dignity because of that rumour, I lost my school and I am barely going to see my sisters as they attend boarding school and I lost my…." Esmerelda said before pausing remembering who she was speaking too. She knew Jessie would probably get her looked up if she mentioned anything about magic or spells. Instead she looked at her hands letting more tears fall out of her eyes.
"You lost what?" Jessie asked looking at the girls hands now confused as to what she meant.
"Trust me….you wouldn't believe me if I told you" Esmerelda told her grabbing onto her sore arm to make Jessie forgot the subject. Jessie looked concerned then.
"It is still painful?" she asked Esmerelda who only nodded. Jessie looked upset about this whole thing and paused before she spoke again.
"I always liked you, as a friend, I only stopped talking to you because I was scared of people talking about us and I was scared of what Cynthia would do, I know I was wrong, it is my fault things got this far" Jessie explained and that angered Esmerelda. Jessie had no idea whatsoever what real fear was or what it felt like.
"Scared?" Esmerelda replied as she scoffed. "You know nothing about how it feels to be scared, you think your life is so hard but you have no idea, you have never had to wake up knowing your parents hate you for no reason and you have to pretend to be happy like my Ethel does, you don't have to go through everyday scared of everything because you have being so messed up by your home-life you can't function properly like my little Sybil, you don't have to worry about being perfect knowing if you are not you will bring shame on your family, even though you have to work so hard to get to that point like I have always had to do. Have you ever had to raise children by yourself because your parents can't be bothered and being scared when they get hurt and having no idea what you are meant to do because you are ten and know nothing about first aid? and you have never being scared as you watch your sisters mental health get worse every week but not having the any ideas whatsoever how to make it better because you are not a doctor" Esmerelda ranted on finding once she started she just couldn't stop. She had never felt such a deep anger before, Jessie had no idea how it felt to be truly scared. She was speaking like she had things so tough when she really didn't at all. Moving school in a world you knew wasn't to much of a deal even if she did gain Cynthia as a sister.
Once she had finished Jessie just proceeded to stare opened mouth at the blonde, she had never being someone who spoke that much anyway and she had never heard her say so much at one time. Esmerelda also never really spoke much about her family and now that Esmerelda had just confessed a lot of things, like she looked after her sisters, Jessie felt like she really didn't know her as well as she thought but she knew she was right about what she had said.
"I am a coward I know" Jessie told the girl "I am not brave at all, but I want us to be friends again, not straight away, I know it will take you a long time to even trust me again, let alone forgive me but we had a good friendship once" Jessie told Esmie and the hospital patient just glared at her.
"You blew your chances, you never even believed me about that picture, I don't need you in my life Jessie, I can't just forget this, Cynthia made sure of that" Esmie replied as she glanced in the direction of her arm monitoring to her cut. She knew she was being harsh but she just couldn't be friends with Jessie again. Ethel had hurt her when she tricked her into giving her powers away but then had risked her own life to save hers when the school was collapsing. Jessie had never helped Esmie, true she got her taken to hospital but to save her own neck, not Esmerelda's.
"Look I know I have messed up big time but I am not going to listen to Cynthia anymore, maybe we don't have to be friends but it doesn't mean I can't stand up for you" Jessie replied. Esmerelda turned over and opened the drawer on her bedside table, pulling something out.
"Here take this" Esmerelda said pushing the kindle Jessie had lent her all them weeks ago back into the girls arms. Jessie looked at it and then tried to give it back.
"Keep it" Jessie said. She had actually forgotten about the kindle and didn't want it back.
"I don't want it just take it or I will throw it away" Esmerelda told Jessie giving her a look to tell her she was serious and Jessie knew in that moment all hope was lost. Their friendship was to strained to survive. Jessie sighed and stood up clutching the kindle in her hands.
"I really am sorry Esmerelda….I hope you feel better soon" Jessie told her with a small smile as she left the room, clutching the kindle to her chest and leaving Esmie by herself with the nurses who were looking after her. Esmie sighed feeling sad she had lost a friend but she knew it was for the best. She knew as she clutched her arm she had made the right choice.
That night she cried softly to herself wondering how her life had gotten to this point. There must be something she could do to make things better. She had to show Cynthia and her friends she was stronger than them physically and mentally. That was the moment Esmerelda promised herself she was going to go to the ends of the earth to find out a way to get magic again, and she did not care about the consequences. She needed magic back or she feared her next suicide attempt would be successful.