I own nothing. Ms. Harris owns it all.

Finally we have Eric's POV and where he has been all this time and what has he been thinking. I want to thank everyone again for the alerts and feedback. You guys have given me some great ideas for things to add in. I am working hard at keeping ahead so i can post quickly. This chapter was tough and is the longest chapter to date. Eric started talking to me and would not shut up. I know you are all awaiting for the meeting at Fangtasia it is coming after the next few chapters. Be patient Sookie still needed to speak. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 10

Eric's POV

I rise for the night. I go through my usual routine of taking in my surroundings. A vampire can never be too cautious. I put out my feelers to assure my home is safe. I can sense nothing unusual. I have been living in this home for almost 3 years and I am beginning to feel content here. I still keep my guard up to insure my safety; one can never be too comfortable. I have survived over a thousand years by being cautious. I am able to rise before the sun sets and in the past I would have used that time for any lingering personal or business matters, but now it is usually spent reflecting on the last few years of my life. Every night upon waking I check my non-existent bond with her. I know I won't feel anything from her. If she hadn't broken it, it still has been so long since we have exchanged blood that any sense of her would be very faint. I would have still felt a sense of her existence, but not much emotion. My feelings on this change daily. There are times that I miss feeling her so intensely that it is almost overbearing and there are times that I am relieved to not feel her chaotic emotions. If I am honest with myself, it is that most days, I do miss the bond terribly. Feeling her allowed me to feel what it was to be human again. I take in an unnecessary deep breath and push my feelings aside. It does me no good to ponder on what could have been. I have done all I can to ensure that she is safe. I can only hope that she is happy in her life now.

Flashback 3 ½ years ago

Sookie and I had finally gotten into a comfortable relationship. We were committed to one another. She would not however consider me to be her husband and did not recognize our pledging, but I had finally made it to 'boyfriend' status. I understand most woman would not have preferred to marry for protection. I do not regret that I had tricked her in to it because it kept her safe and allowed her to live that life she wanted. I was not opposed to marriage in her world and would have happy obliged her, if she would have allowed us to talk about our feelings and the future. As a man and a vampire, I can only take so much rejection.

I really thought things were going well. We would share most of our free time together and she seemed happy. The bond was filled with more fleeting emotions than normal and I wrote it off to her recovery. She understood why I could not be there and said she forgave me. She was afraid of the power Victor Madden had and knew we had to be mindful of our actions for awhile. I was very busy in my time away from her. I needed to take control of my area back. Madden was pushing things too far and I was concerned that Decastro was backing him. I never let on to her what was brewing in the hierarchy. Slowly a distance began to grow between us. We still saw each other but during our time together we both seemed distracted. I was concerned with the King and she was coping with healing. When she said she needed to discuss something with me I never imagined she would want to break the bond. I was furious. Reflecting back on the conversation, I now know I should have spoken from heart rather than from my anger.

I had arrived at her home rather late that night. I had been working with Rasul. We had been planting spies in the Nevada area and in hope to gain more valuable information that what we currently had at the time. I had petitioned Nevada for Sookie to have a leave of absence so to speak after the Fairy war. She needed some time to recover and had not been sleeping very well at all. She claimed to be fine, but I knew better. There were days that would go by and I knew she slept only a few hours each day. When I arrived at her home, she was tired and I was frustrated, hungry and very horny. I just wanted to go home to my wife and have her help me forget about all the bull shit I was dealing with.

As soon as I arrived, Sookie warmed a blood for me and asked me if we could talk. I immediately went defensive, A warmed true blood? I wanted my wife.

"Please Eric; I need to talk before you distract me"

"Fine Lover, let's talk"

"I have been thinking and I want to have Amelia break the bond. She has found a way that would be safe for both of us and I would like to do this to ensure my feelings for you"

She held her head high as she spoke, but I could feel the insecurity within the bond. I ignored it and got angry.

"Sookie! Why would you want to do this? How could you disrespect me this way? Have I not offered to take care of you? Have I not made you my wife? Have I not proven to you that I care for you? I finally thought we had reached a comfortable point in our relationship. I am faithful to you. I do my best to be there anytime you need? Are these things not enough?"

"Eric, I just need to know how I feel, not what I feel through the bond. Is that too much to ask?"

I can see the tears forming in her eyes. She is trying her best not to let them fall.

"Do not answer me with questions! I asked you something! Answer me woman!"

My fangs at out, the bond from me is screaming with rage. I have never spoken to her this way. She is trembling and scared. I am shocked to realize that this is what I want. I want her scared and this is not good. Everything has taken a toll on both of us. All of our issues and problems have never been addressed. Everything has come to a head and it's going to explode.

"Never mind Sookie, Do not answer me! It does not matter. IF you break the bond, know this, I will never forgive you."

Her eyes meet mine and they are full of hurt. I can feel her pain so deeply it echoes deep in my chest. I need to leave. We have reached a crossing and one more step and we will never go back.

"I am going to leave before this gets any worse. You must make your decision and you must live with those consequences. Goodbye Sookie"

As fast I could, I got into my corvette and headed to my home. I destroyed most of my office and sat down to think about what just happened. I know that Pam felt my rage through our bond, but I was not going to listen to her input on this right now. I quickly texted her to inform her that I was not be bothered unless it was a dire emergency and she was to handle things for the next evening as well. I was going to need some time to straighten this shit out.

As I began to calm down, I went over the conversation in my head again and again. First mistake I made was that I went back on my word. I told her she could always talk to me about anything and that no topic was off limits. She may have not gone about approaching the subject quite the right way. She should have brought it up a little more delicately, but I had walked into her home with a slight attitude to begin with and I had been late in coming there. She was tired and probably was waiting to discuss this with me all evening.

Fuck! She deserved to know more about the bond. I should have asked her why she wanted to break it and why she was confused. Her emotions have been all over the place and I was dealing with this potential takeover bull shit. I know I can't trust anyone in Nevada. I am waiting for an attack! Are we ever going to have any quiet in life? I always have a plan b and right now plan be is looking real good. We don't need this shit. What am I thinking plan b? Why would she move away with me, I just scared the living hell out of her and gave her an ultimatum? I had scared her and she is recovering from being tortured!

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

What am I going to do if she doesn't forgive me? How am I going to protect her?

Mother Fucker! Now it's almost dawn. I cannot even call her and ask her not to do anything irrational. I will need to deal with this tomorrow. I close the door to my now destroyed office; I will deal with that tomorrow as well. As I enter my day chamber and sense that my surroundings are secure I check in with the bond. Earlier she was very distraught and now I don't feel much. I'm sure she is asleep but I should still feel her better that this. Maybe she took some medication to calm her down. After the fairy war, Amelia had recommended her taking something to help her sleep. We will work on this tomorrow. I have an uneasy feeling within me and wonder if we will get that chance.

When I rose the following night I realize that my uneasy feeling was right. I would not get a chance to work this out with her. The bond is broken. I feel nothing but loss. If I did not know she was planning this, I would have thought she was dead. How did this happen? How did we get here? I really thought she was who I was waiting for. A thousand years in waiting to finally feel love only to have it ripped away. Fuck this! I am Vampire! I do not love! This ends tonight! She knew how I would feel if she did this, she is out of my life. I will move on.

The forty minutes it took for the sun to finally set was hell. I never thought I would feel so many emotions and be so confused in such a short amount of time. I went from loving her to hating her more time than I could keep track of. I was mentally exhausted.

I could feel Pam coming and I had to gather myself and suppress all these emotions. She walked into my den. I was standing facing the bookcase, my back was towards her. I could not face her right now. I knew I could not hide my emotions in our child/maker bond, but I would not allow her to see the pain on my face or the tears in my eyes.

"Eric, what are you doing standing here? Something is wrong. I feel as if Sookie is dead. I cannot sense her directly, but I am able to sense her bond with you. There is no bond. What the fuck is going on? I am scared. I feel so much from you? Did Madden get her or was it someone else. I'm freaking out here Eric"

"Pamela!"

"Calm down, Sookie is fine. The bond was broken with magic. She made a decision and it is over. We are no longer together. She will move on, as will I"

"Eric, what are you going to do now?"

"Nothing"

"Nothing? Eric, her protection from the King, it's our responsibility"

"She will be protected, and she never even know it"

"Are there any other orders master?"

"No, other than I never want her in my bar or in my home"

"Eric, please let me in, tell me how to help you"

"I need no help Pamela, I am Vampire. I rise, I feed, I fuck, and I kill. I will move on"

The silence began to fill the room again. I could feel Pam in the room, I could sense someone was there, but I was angry. Angry did not even come close to describing how I felt. I could feel rage in every fiber in my body. I was heading in a dangerous direction. I needed some space. I needed to break something. I needed to scream, destroy, kill and I needed to cry. All these emotions needed to escape. I needed an outlet.

Pam's cell phone rang and snapped me out of my trance. Before she could answer it, I hissed over at her and spoke.

"If it is her, I will not speak to her or anyone in her steed."

She said nothing and answered. I could hear both ends of the conversation.

"Speak"

"Pam it's Amelia, have you talked to Eric"

"Do you have anything to do with this? How could you. I thought she was dead. Did you want to break them up?"

"Pam it's not like that…. no honestly… she tried to talk to him…. calm down"

"Don't you tell me to calm down WITCH! I will drain you dry. It is over. She is not to step foot into Fangtasia. She is not to enter Eric's or my home. We are finished. She is on her own. She will have the protection from the king as ordered but will no longer be welcome in our lives."

"Fine I'll tell her."

The silence filled the room once more. I could hear Pam shifting from side to side, waiting and wanting to speak to me.

"Pamela, I need you to return to the bar and make sure all is in order. I will be calling Rasual tomorrow at first dark. We will move forward quickly. Make sure all is prepared. You are dismissed."

"Yes master"

For once she obeyed and kept her mouth shut. I gave myself this one night to mourn and feel the loss of my only love. This is for the best. She deserves a life I cannot give her; a husband to walk in the sun with her, to give her child and to grow old with her. I walked in to my day chamber, her scent engulfs my senses. I sit and indulge myself in it. I know that after tonight I will have to make sure to rid anything that reminds me of her or I will never be able to let her go. The tears are now flowing freely down my face. I will miss my lover; my wife. I only wish that she had for me, just once, acknowledged our pledging. I loved my human wife, but was never in love with her, not like I was in love with Sookie.

For this night only, I will allow myself to be a man, simply a man, who has just lost the one person who made life worth living. I will allow myself to wish and dream of a future I would have liked to have with her. I wish I would have told her I loved her. I told her all the time, but I always said it in Old Norse. She never truly knew how I felt about her. I wish I could have held her once last time or maybe kissed her goodbye. I wish she would have chosen to stay with me for eternity or at least the rest of her mortal life. I make promises to her that I know I will always uphold. I promise to love her rest of her life and the rest of mine. I promise to always protect her and those she loves. If she should have children, I will protect them as well as long they live. I am sad that we did not get our chance and that our fate did not allow our lives to stay on the same path.

Until the sun claims me for the day, I let go of any and all feeling I dare to have, for tomorrow I start anew. I will make sure that Bobby has a cleaning crew come in. They will need to clean in great detail to remove any presence she may have left behind here. I will stay at a safe house during this time. I may never even be able to return here. I'm almost certain her presence will always remain. My memories cannot be erased; well they could be, but look where that got me.

The last words I think of before the sun rises is: I love you Sookie.

End flash back

I know I have done all I can to protect her. I've lied, I've stolen and I've killed. She will be safe as long as she lives in Louisiana. It didn't take long to take over Nevada. No one was happy with Decastro's rule and Madden had a bounty on his head. The elder vampires finally had enough with these two. Sophie Anne pushed boundaries but she knew when enough was enough. I never should have had to trick Sookie into marring me by knife. Our bond should have been enough. Before the great revelation, our rules were long in place. Kingdoms had thrived and only a few had fallen. The great reveal had made some vampires cocky. They wanted more and more. Since we were able to live among the humans, some vampires got greedier like humans can do. Some thought since we were in public view any retaliation against wrong doing would be more lenient and they could get away with more. Those vampires could not be more mistaken. Madden and Decastro are case in point. If our group would have not banded together to take them out the counsel would have. Simply put we are like the Mafia, but with fangs. We live by the honor system from times of long ago. Kings and Queens have more power yes, but they cannot just take the bonded and wife of a 1000 year old vampire. They tried and they failed. Decastro and Madden pushed these limits when they kept approaching me about Sookie. They addressed her as an asset to the kingdom first, instead of my bonded and then wife. They tried to bend and stretch the code of ethics for their own benefit. I finally got tired of it and gathered with others that had as well. The take over and their final deaths went smoothly and quickly. It was all over in a matter of 6 months. Russell Edgington was now King of Louisiana, and this could not have been better. He and I got along well and he was fond of Sookie. He found her brave and humorous. He loved that she had the nerve to hid Lorena's body in the pool. He never wanted to piss her off. Sookie was not just a human. She is a part of the supernatural community, even if she doesn't want to admit it. Everyone who tried to use her knew this. In the past this kind of thing is what caused wars among our various supes resulting in why the elders of our kind live by a certain code of ethics. Russell knows that it was not within any of our rights to truly try to own or use anyone that is of her stature in the community. We are cruel creature and covet many things, but to overpower someone like her or to use her because of her ignorance of our world is not ethical. I was always honest with her when I need for her to use her telepathy. I did not want to use her; I wanted her to use her gift. I'm not sure if she ever saw the difference. This was one of my many problems with Sophie Anne and Compton. They pushed boundaries. It never ends well when this happens. The higher powers do not allow it.

She is safe. I have many that watch over her still. I am sure she is not even aware. I never ask details. They are only to contact me if she is in life threatening situation or if someone is out to kill her. I want no details of her daily life or those involved in it. All the information is there for me to know, I just choose not to inquire about it. I was shocked when she married the shifter so soon. I was not shocked that it was him she was marring. I knew she would choose someone safe. He was safe and would never break her heart. I knew Compton was still pining over her and when I found out, I had to rub it in.

I had just come back from spending time with Russell. We needed to secure the areas in the state and make sure we had proper sheriffs in place. Pam was walking on egg shells afraid I would destroy the bar when I found out. At that time I was allowing myself to check in with guards to find out some of her day to day activities. It had only been a month since we took out the Nevada vamps. Most of Louisiana was not even aware that this had happened yet. We were not sure how many vamps were left that were loyal followers of Madden. The announcement was due to happen the next week.

Flashback to conversation when Eric finds out Sookie married Sam

"Pamela, is all well? You seem troubled."

"Master, my I speak freely?"

"Of course you may"

"I have some news, I know you usually don't like to follow her day to day activities but this is something I feel I must share with you. I found out today, that while away in Canada, on a business trip she married the shifter"

I am enraged. It has only been 8 months since we split. Married! How fucking dare she marry him. She is married to me. My fists are clenched so tight, my nails are breaking through the skin on my palms.

"Continue Pamela"

"From the information I have gathered, they do not appear to be sharing this news. There are no rings on either of their fingers. She has not filed any paperwork to change her name and neither of them has moved, but there is a marriage license on file in the area they were staying in while they visited Canada."

Why would she marry him and tell no one? Maybe after a little time, this just occurred. I will monitor the situation and go from there. If she is unfaithful, I will have no choice but to end the pledging. All that I just fought for is just that. I fought to make sure others live up to code of ethics and honor the ways of the old. I will keep a close eye on things. I can only trust one Vampire for this. I know Bubba will not lie to me. He will have to be my eyes and ears. I just need a way to explain this to him. He is very fond of Sookie and only wants to see her with me.

"I will need to make sure I gather my information on this situation Pam. I may need to end the pledging. I will let you know what I decide"

"Master, why wouldn't you end the pledging? She broke the bond. You are free to feed and fuck as you like. I know you will be back to your old self now that this takeover is done with. I have even prepared a few fangbangers for you."

She is getting out of line with this. I have told her over and over again. I am in the fore front of this fight to keep vampires respecting our ways. She knows I cannot fuck whomever I like. If one of us in unfaithful and there is proof, the pledging would be broken. We are not out of the woods. I need to secure a few more things to ensure her safety. Yes, keep telling yourself that. I am trying to let her go. It just is not as easy as I had hoped it would be.

"Enough of this Pam, what have you done. I do not have time for this. I have a few things I need to take care of yet before I address the pledging with her."

"Eric"

I know that tone. I am not going to be happy.

"Pamela!"

"I may have glamoured a few fangbanger's to remember enjoying an incredibly long night of fucking and feeding with you. Nothing of any major importance; it can be undone."

"Pamela, Fix this now! I don't have the desire or time to deal with this shit from you. Last I checked I am master and you are child. I will not have this happen again. This is a command Pamela. You interfere again and you will be punished!"

"Yes Master, It will be taken care of tonight."

"Good, Send Compton in"

"Yes Master"

I need to get out some aggression. I will tell Compton of this news. He will not be happy either; maybe he will give me a reason to finally bring him to his final death. He and Pam had been our go between when we first split. I never reached out to her. She wanted to know what was going to happen with our agreement pertaining to my use of her telepathy and he responsibilities to the King. Basically she was freed from any agreement she made with anyone in the Louisiana and Nevada's area. This was only from the Vampires at first. I didn't want her to be in debt to anyone, so I made sure she was free of any obligations to the were community as well. Yes, I am still fucked. She will always own me.

"Sheriff"

"Compton, sit"

That's a good boy Billy boy, sit like the dog you are. I know once I tell him he will run to her and ask her what is going on. She needs to know that I know. Fuck! I need to let her go. Why can't I let her go? Until I have my guards bring me proof the pledging will stand. If it's the only part of her I get to keep then so be it.

"I heard some interesting news this evening. I heard that a certain telepath and waitress married a shifter that lives in her town. Are you aware of this?"

The look on his face is murderous, not only did he not know, he is not happy that I am the one to tell him. Join the club Billy boy.

"No Eric, I was not aware of this. Would you like me to look into this for you?"

Very funny Bill! Not going to happen

"No, Compton. I would like you to never speak of this again, to anyone. This conversation never took place. You are dismissed."

He wants to say something else. I quickly give him a look that makes him realize that this is not a good idea.

"Yes Sheriff. Goodnight then"

I make my arrangements for her guards. They are to let me know if they get any indication of sexual activity happening in her home or the shifters. If they see it, hear it or smell it. They are to report back to me. They have been told only to tell me that she has been 'compromised'. I do not want to hear someone say to me 'your wife just fucked a shifter'. Heads would be rolling.

I plan and meet with Bubba to make sure she is safe. He knows only to contact me if she is in danger.

Two days later I get the text. I am surprised Compton took this long to run to her. I am pissed at her. I am pissed at Compton. I hate the fucking shifter. At this point, I hate the whole fucking world. I haven't been feeding much and I definitely have not been fucking. I don't think I jacked off this much as a teenage human! I do not want to be the one to break the pledging by infidelity.

Do you have people watching me? – Sookie

Do I have people watching you? No. I employee 12 different people to watch the paint peel on the side of your house and watch stupid rednecks in a bar all day.

Why would I have people watching you? Did you do something I should be aware of? - Eric

I know she won't admit it. She doesn't have the guts.

U tell me? - Sookie

Stubborn woman! Tell me you married someone else. Tell me you love another man. Tell me you hate me. Please make it easier to let you go.

Won't work we r still pledged - Eric

Why can't I do it? It's just paper work. Sign a piece of paper, release her from your life and the pledging will be over.

How did you even find out? Never mind, not like u would share that info anyway – sookie

She has to know I know everything or can know everything in her life. She knows I'm high handed

Dissapointed? - Eric

I am. I shouldn't be, but I am. I hate he gets to love you, I hate that he gets to hold you, to make love to you and gets to make you laugh. I hate it.

I should have known you would find out - Sookie

I have nothing to say to that. Of course she would know.

I continued to work and go on with my life. I waited to get word from the guards that she was compromised. And I waited, and waited. It never came.

I was shocked. Why did she marry him? I thought it was so that she could have children with someone she trusted. I knew she loved him, but only as a friend. I knew she never was in love with the shifter, not the way he was in love with her anyway.

I have developed a routine that worked for me. I would pick a fangbanger take them to my office, glamour them into shutting up for 10 minutes, feed from their wrist and send them on their way. It was not a glamorous life but I have lived through worse. If people were shocked when they finally realized I was not fucking anyone, no one mentioned it. I can go without fucking. I just don't like to. Truth be told, I didn't have the desire. I needed to move past this and it was going to take time. I unleashed a thousand years of suppressed emotions when I fell in love with her; I needed to put them back away. I did what a lot of the world would have done to cope. I worked a lot. The vampire community was striving. The fellowship of the sun has all but disappeared. Life was quiet, but very lonely.

My routine existence was suddenly shaken and I was forced to deal the white elephant in the room that I pretended not to see when Mr. Catalides called and requested to use my bar for a meeting. I had a strange feeling this meeting was going to impact my life and I knew for sure when I received the email. When I saw who he was requesting to speak with I knew for certain that he was representing her. Every name on the list had a direct connection to her and her alone. It hit me hard when it finally clicked in my head to why we were all being gathered. Of course! I have been so fucking blind! Everything I was pushing others to abide by, I was disregarding. All of us had. We all claimed to love her, but we had used her and kept her in the dark. Fuck! The counsel is going to have my fangs!