Touhou Doujin: Dawitsu's Recompense
Chapter 10: Addiction to Introspection
Dawitsu's Subconscious, late night
Dawitsu found himself, once again, roaming within an extremely vivid dream. This time he was walking on a frighteningly calm, unspoilt field of green. There was a tree in the centre, and four children wearing masks were skipping around it, while one child sat below the tree, hugging its knees. Dawitsu was curious as to whether or not they were representatives of any kind, or just projections due to how unoriginal his mind was.
He approached the one that was sitting down, and he asked, "Hey, have you got anything to say? Is Conscience around here somewhere?"
The Masked Child replied in the way Dawitsu expected. "Will you play... with me?"
Dawitsu shuddered, and stepped back, "No, thanks. Hey, Conscience, you can come out now!"
One of the skipping children's figures turned into Koishi Komeiji's figure, and Conscience laughed, "You have to admit you enjoy the scenery here!"
"Yeah, I guess this is my mind. I wouldn't have it any other way. If I did, it would change, right?" Dawitsu admitted.
"Just like when you deleted the Eros files. The only reason you didn't delete all three is because deep down, you didn't want to stop loving Yutaka. Anyway, regardless of that... check out my hair!" Conscience flicked her head, and time went in slow motion as her hair 'swished' in a similar manner to a shampoo advert. "It's silky smooth, very clean indeed. You have been doing some high-scale cleaning, haven't you?"
Dawitsu bowed, "Glad to be of assistance. If it wasn't for Love, I wouldn't have made nice with Yukari... so give her a break. However, Sex Drive needs a good old-fashioned telling off for almost squandering my chance at making amends..."
"Well, Guilt is trying to punish Sex Drive as we speak, but she's enjoying the punishment too much..." Conscience replied.
Dawitsu turned red, "I swear I'm not that masochistic..."
"Well, she is Sex Drive, after all. She finds almost everything attractive." Conscience remarked.
"I'm not sure whether to accept her or not..." Dawitsu sighed to himself. "So, what will we be doing tonight?"
Another masked child began to shape-shift, this time to look like Shikeiki Yamaxanadu. Guilt walked up to the figment of Dawitsu's imagination. "Why, hello Conscience... I've tried everything... imprisoning her, whipping her... even community service... she just gets off on everything. You do realise this is your fault, don't you?" Guilt turned to Dawitsu.
"Uh, wait, Sex Drive is an innate part of me, isn't she? How can I be in control?" Dawitsu tried justifying himself.
"You should be making her more repressed, relaxed... it is possible."
"Hey, only yesterday, you were encouraging Sex Drive to help out! And it's only because she failed that you're punishing..." Dawitsu's thoughts trailed to the image of Nue Houjuu in a prison cell, yet loving every minute of it, "...or trying to punish her... so you're basically saying that because when she did as you asked, it didn't go as planned, so now you're blaming me?"
"It's my duty to blame you... I am Guilt, after all." Guilt matter-of-factly stated.
"Well, she does need correcting, but it's unfair... if not futile... to try and hurt her." Dawitsu suddenly felt a surge of commanding presence, "Now, Guilt... take me to where you're keeping her. What kind of community service does an imaginary figment do anyway?"
Guilt sighed, "Fine, fine. You talk to her, you might be able to talk some sense into her. Sex Drive has no morals, so perhaps that's why I can't do it. Maybe it takes a whole person to do it."
Dawitsu found himself on an urban-looking street in the middle of nowhere. There, Sex Drive was trying to construct a bench. She was on her hands and knees, hammering a pin with her right hand. Dawitsu walked up to the ever-morally-dubious embodiment, and searched for Guilt, but found no-one.
"Well hello there... is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" Sex Drive joked.
Dawitsu couldn't help but chuckle a little, "Trust you to make that sort of reference. Anyway, Guilt has changed your sentence."
"What? Oh, and I was just getting into these..." Sex Drive stood up, stretching her arms as if to show off her figure, "...repeated, strenuous motions..."
Dawitsu was trying his best not to choke on the sheer suggestiveness of his Sex Drive. It was as if since he got his bottled up feelings about Yutaka out she'd become more active. "Uh... look, the new punishment is this. You have to take a walk with me. We're going to discuss a few things."
Sex Drive walked up to Dawitsu, placed her arms around his waist, pressing herself against him, "Oh, anything for you... Guilt always knows exactly what I like..."
Dawitsu squirmed, then pushed the rabid embodiment off of himself, "Is there anything you don't... like?"
Sex Drive stopped, and after a split-second of thought, answered, "No, there isn't. Now, let's talk... I want to hear that sweet... sweet voice of yours."
"What the hell is wrong with you? You were almost benevolent last night!"
"Well, it doesn't help that in the real world, you can hear the small, soft breaths of the love of your life... right next to your face. Even in your dreams, I know what's going on in the real world. Same goes for a lot of your... friends here. But... oh, that breathing's driving me mad! Kiss me, Hardy!" Sex Drive lunged towards Dawitsu, who quickly side-stepped.
"You do realise that wasn't Lord Nelson's real last words, right?" Dawitsu said, trying to change the subject.
"Of course I do. It's just such a... romantic thing to say. Even if it was two guys..."
"Jesus, how crazed are you? I'm anything but gay..."
Sex Drive looked high on life, "So, what was it you wanted to say to me, sugar?"
"Well... it's about your activity. I want you to chill out. Chill right out. You almost had me killed yesterday, so just give it a break already..."
Sex Drive, who was a primal urge more than anything, suddenly paid attention, "Hold on... so my activities placed you in direct danger... how?"
Dawitsu never realised that on a subconscious level, he had an invincibility complex, "Well, Yukari is the border youkai. She could have killed me at any point during my conversation with her, yet you kicked in at the total wrong time... sure, I genuinely thought you could have helped me, but you should listen to... is Fear a person around here? Well, anyway, if he is, you should listen to her..."
Sex Drive purred, "Mmmm! I love it when you blame a bad event on someone who isn't entirely to blame!"
Dawitsu was about to chastise her further, but then realised, "Actually... you're right..."
"I know... injustice is so... sexy!"
"No, no, I was talking about it being injustice in the first place, not the... attractive part." Dawitsu looked down, then back towards Sex Drive, "Even though you were a cause, I consciously tried your idea out, and that was based on Memory as well as my own conscious thoughts. You're not entirely to blame."
"Oh, being a pushover isn't an attractive quality at all..." Sex Drive remarked in disappointment.
"Okay, you can give the whole 'trying to find a fetish in everything' gimmick up now."
Sex Drive conceded, "Fine... so, what are you going to do?"
"Well, nothing. I think Guilt's over-reacting. It was a dumb mistake, which I apologized to Yukari about anyway. You're not too active... well, not normally, anyway. If what you're saying is true... then even you're aware that this current over-activity is induced, and that usually you're at an acceptable level."
Conscience appeared out of nowhere, clearly angry, "Hold on! You can't be content! Not just now..."
Dawitsu stood by Sex Drive, and said, "Look, just chill out, okay? Sex Drive is an instinct, at the moment she can't help how she's acting. And I've recompensed.." Dawitsu winked, as if to lampshade the terrible title drop, "...my action with Yukari by my apology to her. I can't do any more to change that without Yukari wondering why I brought it up again. Then I'd be in trouble."
Conscience attempted to shrug it off, but, being Conscience, couldn't. However, she did concede, "Fine. For the time being, I guess this current state of cleanliness will do. So, what are you going to do now?"
"I don't know. Perhaps have fun? I know that I'm getting sick of hanging around here with Sex Drive."
Sex Drive slapped Dawitsu, "Hey, that's not fair! You were enjoying it just as much as I was! Admit it!"
Dawitsu smirked as he rubbed his cheek, somehow feeling genuine pain, "Okay, okay, fine... I'll stick around here. I think I'll play a game of 'Find a sentence that Sex Drive can't find an innuendo out of'..."
Conscience folded her arms, "Fine, but only if I watch. I'll make sure that you keep it clean, even if Sex Drive isn't. You have to be trying at the game, because setting her up for that kind of stuff is only going to make me less clean..."
"Sure, sure, keep your hat on... okay, how about this... I love visiting the wonderful shop known as 'Pen Island'..."
Sex Drive burst into laughter, and Conscience scowled, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"Come on! I need to have a little fun once in a while..."
And so Dawitsu spent the rest of his dream trying to find that all-encompassing, magic sentence that cannot be twisted in any way by what could possibly be the dirtiest mind in the world. However, Dawitsu's mind wasn't the only one active that night...
Reimu's Subconscious, similar time...
Reimu had been experiencing a pure black void for some time. Gradually, however, she found herself gaining a form... slowly repairing herself back to normal. She tried to wince as she felt her feet again, and then her legs, and it slowly passed upwards through what seemed like her body. The black void she was in remained as it was, however, she could now lift her hands to her face, and confirm she was, in fact existent. What on earth had happened? It was hard to pick up exactly what occurred...
Various images flickered in front of her as she attempted to pull together anything resembling a memory. The images were changing at breakneck speed, before stopping on a particular one... a letter. Reimu reached forward to touch the image, and was surprised when she actually took hold of it.
It read, 'Dear Reimu,
It's me, Yukari Yakumo. I know you've been bored as of late, ever since you solved the Taoist Incident with Seiga Kaku. Well, fortunately for you, I've found something you need to stop. Aya Shameimaru, the Tengu Reporter, has obtained some... classified information about the Outside World. You know as well as I do that it is of both our interests to not let such information reach the rest of the Youkai Community. So, if it isn't too much of an issue, could you please silence her?
Yours Faithfully, Yukari Yakumo'
Reimu got angry, and spoke for the first time since her subconscious body had pieced itself back together, "Argh! Why does she always rely on me? She could just deal with it herself! She's the omnipotent Border Youkai, isn't she? Does she just think I've got... unlimited time or something?"
Reimu's head suddenly began to sting. Another image appeared in front of her... Aya's house. "Wait... I actually did go to Aya's house... yeah, that's right, I still went anyway... then..."
An image of Aya's angered face replaced the house... Reimu had never seen the Tengu so angry. That's when it hit her. "Oh... I... lost. I lost to someone. That's why I'm here... so am I dead?"
Nothing responded. She suddenly remembered why Aya was so angry. "I... destroyed her press. Then I... I ripped her Newspaper apart in front of her eyes. I... I ruined that little part of her life..."
She then remembered something Aya had said a long time ago, before she went to foil the moronic mimicker in blue... 'Y'know, you'll never admit it, but you're a brilliant young woman!'
Reimu put her head in her hands, "She... she trusted me, didn't she? That's why she... she freaked out as much as she did. She didn't see me as the type to be cruel... yet I still was... is anyone there? God? The Judge of the Dead... what's her name? Shikeiki? Where are you? Is Komachi slacking off again or something?"
Reimu sat down in the nothingness, waiting for a reply, but nothing remained just that...
"Why do people think I'm kind?" Reimu asked herself, trying to comfort herself with the sound of her own voice, "I'm never warm to anyone! I treat humans and youkai with the same indifference! Everyone sees me as this big hero! They shouldn't! Marisa's just as big a hero, yet they all hate her! Why can't I be hated? That way, when I am mean, people don't freak out..."
An image of Dawitsu appeared, singing, "Tsundere, Tsundere, why are you so cold?"
He didn't finish the song, and Reimu thought this was probably because she didn't care enough to listen to the rest of the song. "Tsun... dere... Tsun... dere... hold on! I get it! He's saying I'm a duel personality. 'Tsun' means harsh... and 'Dere' means sweet... he's saying I try to be harsh, but always show a sweet side! Damn it! He is smarter than he looks! Damn it, and now I can't exterminate him for knowing too much... just where the hell is Komachi anyway?"
Reimu once again took to waiting in silence. The completely black background was beginning to drive her insane. She eventually broke down, and began to clutch her knees and rock back and forth. She cried out, "Come on! If I'm dead, just take me! Don't leave me in the dark like this! I want to know where I'm going! Please! Please! Unless... no... I can't be..." Reimu paused, then screamed, "NO! I'm in hell, aren't I? This is my punishment, isn't it? Never knowing where I am, what I'm doing, or where I'm going... I'm going to be unsure for all eternity!"
Her voice echoed within her mind. After a few more hours of sitting in silence, suddenly a different voice to Reimu's own appeared. It seemed to be saying, "Hmm, she's looking better... poor girl. I wonder if she'll ever figure out what a tsundere is..."
This was followed by a different, more feminine voice saying, "Boss, it's not the time for joking... but she seems better."
"How about we try tickling her feet? That's one way to test how well a comatose patient is..."
Reimu flinched, and suddenly her black world flickered white, only for a split second. After a brief pause, she heard the deeper voice say, "Oh, I think she's slightly responsive. Let's try a bit more..."
The world began to flicker repeatedly this time, more and more until finally Reimu fainted from the intensity...
Dawitsu Mansion, Early Morning
Reimu opened her eyes, squinting slightly as light entered her pupil for the first time in a while. Two blurred images were dancing around in front of her. The taller one jumped backwards, and shouted, "Ah! She's waking up... uh... play it straight, Matt, you weren't tickling anyone's feet..."
The shorter image shook the area that resembled a head, and laughed, "She probably heard you saying that..."
Reimu gradually fine-tuned her sight, and it was soon revealed to be a certain Blue-cloaked Youkai and his Blue-cloaked assistant. Reimu waited as she tried to comprehend the situation, and Dawitsu was looking at her in a concerned way. "It's strange, she hasn't spoken yet... perhaps she's lost the ability to?"
Reimu knew this was the time to respond, even if she hadn't quite grasped the situation, "I can speak, idiot..."
Dawitsu sprung into a slightly camp position of glee, "Oh! Hello there! Boy am I glad that I'm wrong! So, how was your sleep?"
Reimu suddenly realised that she wasn't sleeping in her own bed. She quickly sat up, grabbed Dawitsu by his cloak, pulled, then re-established her grip on his collar. After a brief moment of silence, and Dawitsu attempting to ask what she was doing, Reimu screamed, "WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU KIDNAPPED ME?"
Visibly jarred, Dawitsu pulled away from the shrine maiden's still weak grip, and he tried to retain his demeanour, "Hakurei-san... we should start calling you the ice queen... Cirno pales in comparison to your icy aura..."
Yutaka smiled, the same way as usual, and tried to move the conversation along, "Miss Hakurei, what happened was that you got..."
Reimu interrupted, "Yes, I know. I was attacked by Aya. But that doesn't explain why that creep over there PICKED UP MY UNCONSCIOUS BODY!"
Dawitsu looked genuinely insulted, "I'm hurt, Reimu. Seriously, I am. Why would I do such a thing? Aya brought you here, crying her guts out and asking me to help you..."
Reimu's heart melted, "W-wait... Aya... Aya picked me up..."
Dawitsu swiftly replied, "Of course. She wouldn't dare kill someone... she's a reporter, she wouldn't hurt a fly. You know her better than I do, so you should know this!"
"But... why did she go here?"
"Something I did while I was on holiday... I don't want to talk about it." Dawitsu tried to make sure his caring side for Reimu stopped as soon as possible.
Yutaka, however, wished to expose the good deed, "Basically, we got involved in an accident that almost killed a Miss Sakuya Izayoi... and my Boss performed surgery on her."
Reimu felt her head, "By surgery you mean... you fixed my body? What was wrong?"
Dawitsu felt like he had to explain now it was out and open, "Your skull was smashed to pieces on the side Aya hit you. I can't take all the credit... Yutaka helped piece together the skull once all the pieces were extracted, and Yukari kept you alive during the operation. All I did was fish the pieces out and then put the intact version back in. You owe your life to Yukari, Yutaka, and Yours Truly... us Youkai aren't so bad, eh?"
Reimu folded her arms, "Hmph! Just because you three saved me doesn't mean I should let you on my shrine! I'm sick of people just choosing to come and go and not asking me beforehand!"
Dawitsu smirked, "Oh, sorry, I failed to detect a 'thank you' in that sentence."
Reimu tried not to laugh. "Hmm... well... fine! Thanks for saving my life! It... doesn't mean I like you guys or anything... you're still a creep, you still keep smiling for no reason, and Yukari is still a lazy know-it-all who leaves all the work to me!"
Dawitsu put on a mocking voice, "Ooh! 'It doesn't mean I like you or anything!' I knew you were a tsundere, but I never had you down as clichéd!"
Reimu, now fully aware of what he meant, rose from her chair and punched Dawitsu, who's face was glad that she had only just woken up. Still somehow standing, Dawitsu replied one last time, "Look, just help yourself to cereal or any food. If you want something cooking, I'm sure Ran or Yutaka will be happy to make you a meal. Just remember to ask nicely. I don't want you punching my Shikigami too..."
Yutaka turned towards her Boss, "Should I make up some Miso Ramen? I think it'll perk her up..."
Reimu answered for Dawitsu, "...Miso Ramen would be great... sorry... what's your name again?"
Yutaka giggled, "Yutaka Hadekawa, at your service!" She bowed elaborately and left the room to prepare the Ramen.
Dawitsu walked towards one of his many lifts. "Hey, Reimu... after you've had your breakfast, I have a challenge for you. You don't have to accept, but if you feel like playing a game on my 'Portal Floor', I'm up for it. The only rule is that you're not allowed to fly..."
Reimu shuddered at the memory of the strange talking ball that spoke through a screen. "I'll pass, thanks."
"Oh, and I was going to play the co-operative game with you too..."
Reimu smiled, and said, "Okay, I guess I can play one game with you... just don't think this means I'm your friend or anything..."
"Sure thing, Dere-dere!" Dawitsu mocked.
"Hey, none of that, or I'll change my mind..."
So the rest of the day involved a rather strange way to make friends... by flinging one's self through orange, blue, red, and indigo holes in space and time. Reimu eventually warmed to the idea of trusting a Youkai with solving a puzzle... it reminded her of the 'Missing Full Moon' incident. Although she played it straight, both Yutaka and Dawitsu could both easily tell she had loved the experience by the end of the day...
Author's Note: Wow, lots of subconscious stuff going on here... hey, if the reader can see Dawitsu's mind, they can see the comatose Shrine Maiden's mind too...
Speaking of which, the whole 'tickling of the feet' stems from a time my Great Granddad suffered from a stroke. He was in his late seventies at the time, and even the nurses in intensive care had given up on him. However, my Grandma (his daughter) noticed that he was twitching his feet whenever they were touched. Eventually they pulled out life support, but then, as if by magic, he regained consciousness after a few hours of being unplugged. He wasn't speaking fluently, of course, but he pulled through, and we believe it was partly because he was allergic to the elastoplast around the life-support tubes, and partly because we were giving his brain some stimulation... talking to him, holding his hand, and generally trying to interact with him.
Just so you know, he's still alive and kicking, fully recovered now, and still got his same intelligent, highly experienced attitude... albeit that he sleeps a lot more now. But, yeah, my Great Granddad's recovery was a real inspiration to me... this is but a tiny homage to that...