ONE extra chapter...so now you can all stop plaguing me! (Only joking, I love that you all feel so much for this story.) I took pity on you so now you will all love me forever, okay? Good. Glad we cleared that up. Now be patient and wait until Wednesday :)

Neither Kurt or Blaine manage more than a couple hours of broken sleep. Both cry, for a very long time, and at one point, Kurt tiptoes across the living room to listen at the door to the guest room, but when he hears Blaine sobbing, instead of opening the door like he wants to, he creeps silently back to bed and cries alone.

By nine thirty, he can stand it no more, and he gets out of bed, deciding that sleep will elude him until this is all figured out. He goes about his normal morning routine, then knocks timidly on the guest room door.

"Blaine?" he asks softly, in a voice which is still raw with emotion. "You awake?"

"Yeah."

He pushes the door open carefully, to find Blaine sitting up in bed staring straight ahead. He looks terrible, with red rimmed eyes, a shadow of coarse dark stubble across his cheeks, and a hollow, empty look in his eyes, as if he's resigned to his fate. What breaks Kurt though, and what makes him bite his lip hard as he tries not to cry, is the sight of his pajamas.

It's been so long since Blaine has worn a pajama top in bed, that Kurt had almost forgotten that he owned quite the collection. Old man PJ's, Kurt always affectionately called them, and sometimes in winter he would still put them on, but more often than not he just wore the pants now, occasionally pulling on an old hoodie of Kurt's if he was cold in the mornings.

But there he is, in pajamas with red and white stripes, so neatly ironed that the creases in the arms still remain, despite Blaine having lain on them. He looks so sensible and smart, such the dapper gentleman, that Kurt almost collapses under the weight of his emotions, because that's exactly the Blaine he fell in love with when they had their first date.

"Coffee," he chokes out, offering Blaine his usual mug. "I uh...made you coffee."

Blaine takes the cup and stares down at it, a sudden realization dawning. He can remember clearly, back when he had first visited New York, going to the coffee house where Kurt worked and getting given a mocha, which he really didn't enjoy. Under Santana's insistence, he had told Kurt he liked medium drip. For a long time after, even when Blaine had moved to the city, Kurt would often try to change his mind, he would encourage him to try new syrups, or to add cream, and each time he came back to his faithful drip, hot, strong, and black, just plain, simple coffee.

He doesn't know when Kurt stopped trying to surprise him with different drinks in the morning, but he realizes it must have been quite some time ago now, as if Kurt had stopped trying to change him, and just accepted the simple nature of his coffee habit. A small thing, maybe, but one which now has Blaine crying silent tears, as he remembers his dad's words from his letter:

"Fall in love with the man who wants to know how you like your coffee in the morning."

"Huh?" Kurt asks with a frown. "What did you say?"

"You know my coffee order," Blaine whispers, as his tears come harder.

"Of course I do."

Kurt moves closer, then tentatively sits on the edge of the bed, reaching out to lay a hand on Blaine's knee, over the duvet. "Please don't cry," he says softly. "Please."

Blaine reaches out and sets the mug on the nightstand, then takes Kurt's one hand in both of his. "I love you," he says, choking on a sob. "I love you, and I should have told you that last night, but I didn't. I love you so much."

"Oh Blaine," and Kurt didn't realize how badly he needed to hear those words until they are spoken, and he falls forward, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. "I love you too."

Blaine hugs back, much to both their relief, almost crushing Kurt in his arms, but Kurt doesn't care, he just revels in the feeling of Blaine wrapped around him, keeping him close, keeping him safe.

"What?"

"You keep me safe," Kurt murmurs through his tears, as he realizes he spoke out loud. "You keep me safe."

"I don't want to be safe though," Blaine says, and he pulls back a touch, but keeps his arms loosely around Kurt's waist. "I want to be exciting, thrilling, the one who makes your pulse race and your breath quicken."

"You do all that too," Kurt reassures, laying a hand gently on his cheek. "All that and more, but knowing you're there for me...loving me...you make me feel so safe and secure, and that's what I never had, that's what no one could ever give me except you."

"But I can't give you foursomes, or coke, or public sex...Kurt...I think things like that should be private, between two men who love and care for each other, and now I realize we're miles apart on this."

"We're not though!" Kurt cries. "Blaine, we're going around in circles here, and I really don't know what I can say. If I'd met you when I was eighteen, if we'd been in school together, we would've been one of those high school romances that everyone said wouldn't last. Then at the ten year reunion, we would've arrived, hand in hand, and told everyone about the baby we were expecting, and how we'd been married for five years already...but unfortunately, that didn't happen. I can't do anything about the way my life was for all those years, Blaine, I can't. I wish I could erase it all, but it happened and it's a part of me. You've always been so good about that though, so I don't get why you're like this now!"

"You don't get it?" Blaine asks, moving away from Kurt to sit back against the wall. "You don't think I have a right to be upset?"

"I didn't say that, but way back when you came here to visit, you said it didn't matter how many others there had been, because you were the one who was going to keep me. When that guy came up to us in the diner that day, you just told me it didn't matter."

"That is very different to everything I heard last night, Kurt!"

"Tell me then, Blaine, tell me what I'm supposed to do about it, because I haven't got a damn clue and I'm so scared."

He ducks his head immediately, and Blaine knows how hard it is for him to admit that. He likes to be strong, he likes to be in control, and he would like people to think nothing bothers him, but Blaine knows him better than anyone else, and he reaches out for his hand. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared you're going to break up with me," Kurt whispers, then breaks down into huge, heartbreaking sobs, the kind which make his whole body shake as he struggles for breath. "I don't want to lose you, Blaine, I love you so much and I...I...I'm so sorry for all that I was, but please don't leave me, please don't...please...I don't think I could live without you."

"Kurt, I'm not going to break up with you."

Kurt looks up sharply, to find his broken, tearful, and beautiful Blaine, watching him intently. "You're not?"

"No. Never. I couldn't. I love you with every bit of me. I love you to the moon and stars and back again and...oh, come here."

He pulls Kurt into his arms, and all the way onto the bed, lying down and holding him tight while he cries. "I'm sorry," he tells him sincerely, not caring that his pajamas are getting damp from all Kurt's tears and snot. "I'm sorry for making you feel scared, because that was never my intention. It's just me, that's all. Just me and my stupid head."

"I'll never be that way again," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. He pushes himself tighter against Blaine's chest, not wanting to be parted from him. "Never, I swear."

"I know that." Blaine's hands rub soothingly over Kurt's back, as he presses their foreheads together and looks into his eyes. "I do know that, honestly."

And all seems to be tentatively okay, until Kurt leans in to kiss him, and Blaine pulls away. It's just a touch, but the message is clear, and Kurt looks down, heartbroken.

"It's not...just not yet, okay?" Blaine asks, and what option does Kurt have, but to nod in agreement? "I will, but I need time to...to...to not see them, I guess."

"Okay."

"But I love you though, and we will be okay, I swear. This is my issue, and I just need to deal with it in my own time."

"Sure," Kurt says, though he can't help but feel disappointed. "Maybe I'll...I'll get dressed and then we could...I don't know, go out for brunch, maybe?" he asks hopefully. "Some bacon and eggs might help with this hangover."

"I have to study."

"Oh. Well, could you do that later?"

But Blaine stiffens again and shakes his head, letting go of Kurt and climbing out of bed. "Not really, no. It's best if I do it now."

And he heads off to the bathroom, leaving Kurt feeling like everything is actually very far from okay at all.

What follows must surely rate as the worst few days of Kurt's existence, as he and Blaine walk on eggshells around each other, and Blaine refuses to discuss any of Saturday's events at all. After a Sunday spent in silent study, with just the occasional word of thanks sent Kurt's way for the food he brings, Blaine moves back into their bedroom that night. If Kurt was thrilled to see him there when he comes back from the bathroom, however, it is short lived. Blaine silently holds his arms out for Kurt to cuddle in, which he does, and Blaine gives an audible sigh and holds him tight, dropping his face into the softness of his hair for just a moment.

"Blaine...I..."

"Not now, Kurt. I need to sleep."

Kurt needs to sleep too, but he knows both of them lie there in silent thought for a long time, before they manage to drift off.

The next morning sees Kurt up at six, frantically cooking pancakes before Blaine can emerge from the bedroom, and Kurt has to leave for work. When he does arrive in the kitchen, however, instead of being soft, fluffy and barely awake like usual, Blaine is dressed neatly, his hair tightly gelled. He grabs an apple from the fruit bowl and picks up his book bag. "I'll see you later," he says, not even looking at Kurt, as he heads to the door. "Have a good day."

"Blaine! Hold up, it's not even seven."

"I have class."

"At nine thirty," Kurt says sadly. "I know your schedule. I always leave before you on Monday."

"I need to study."

"You spent the entire day yesterday studying!" Kurt cries. "Blaine please. I made you breakfast..."

"Sorry, I have to go. Love you."

"Yeah... I love you too," Kurt sighs, but the front door has already closed.

When Kurt gets home from work, Blaine is sitting at the kitchen table, earbuds in, as he types on his laptop. He gives a wave and a tight smile, but doesn't stop what he's doing as he normally would, to kiss Kurt hello and hear about his day. In fact, he doesn't ask Kurt anything at all, just does an hour more of studying, before silently cooking dinner and taking Kurt's plate to him on the couch.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure," Kurt says, surprised, and thinking that maybe this is Blaine's way to reach out to him. "What do you wanna watch? Moulin Rouge again?"

"I'm tired of that," Blaine snaps, flicking through Netflix. "Too sappy."

"We always watch it," Kurt whispers, hurt. "It's so romantic."

"Here."

"X-Men? Really Blaine? I hate these type of movies."

"Well I don't."

So their evening is spent in silence, both of them staring at a movie they don't enjoy. When the credits roll, Blaine walks away to bed without a word, leaving Kurt to load the dishwasher and turn out the lights, and when he makes it to the bedroom, Blaine is fast asleep.

This becomes their routine for over a week. During the weekend, Kurt goes into the office both days, just so he doesn't have to suffer the excruciating awkwardness at home for a moment longer. Both grow more despondent and desperate as the days go on, and both can feel the relationship slipping out of their grasp.

In the very early hours of the following Monday morning, Kurt slips out of bed and calls his dad, but just as the phone gives one ring, he hangs up, hoping he didn't disturb him after all. It's unfair of him to make Burt listen, he reasons, because he wants to complain, and cry and shout, about the unfair way, he thinks, in which Blaine is treating him, but he also doesn't want his dad to feel like he needs to act on it, and talk to Blaine on his behalf. He shouldn't have to pick sides.

So Kurt sighs, and figures that since it's four thirty, he might as well start work on his winter knitwear piece, rather than trying to sleep again.

Blaine is well aware of how he is treating Kurt, and he hates himself for it, but he just doesn't know how to move forward. They talk- light, inane and boring conversation, which is mostly one of them saying what time they'll be home, or that they're going to the store to buy something they've run out of, and he tells Kurt he loves him every time he leaves the apartment. He also holds him at night, but it's the only bit of physical affection they share, and it's starting to feel more and more awkward. The trouble is, every time Blaine thinks he might be able to do it, he might actually be able to bring his lips to Kurt and break that barrier, he remembers.

Kurt had sex with four guys at once. Kurt had sex with some guy on a bar while others watched. Kurt sucked two guys off at the same time in the middle of a busy dance floor. Kurt did drugs, and God only knows what else, with any number of people, and every time he looks at him, he can see him doing it all, and worse, he can look back on all the times they've been intimate, and turn them into something else entirely. He has convinced himself that he's no good as a lover, that their times together have meant nothing, and that he's never satisfied Kurt from the start.

His college friends know something is up, but how do you even begin to explain without painting Kurt in a really bad light? And he just can't do that to him. Santana knows Kurt's past, but he doesn't feel it would be fair to put that on her either, and then there's his dad.

He could call Burt, he could even fly home, but he doesn't feel it would be fair to any of them to put Burt in that position, to make him listen to his side without hearing Kurt's, to ask for his advice regarding them as a couple, and for Burt to know that what he says could have a bearing on whether they stay together or not.

So the atmosphere continues, and Blaine and Kurt talk to no one, least of all each other.

Blaine has a late class every Wednesday, and Kurt often stays late at work that night too, meaning dinner is usually takeout of some sort which one of them picks up on their way home, but today, neither one has text the other, so Blaine just heads home, figuring he'll make some toast and then head to bed early.

He is surprised when he opens the door, to find Kurt already home, the table set and a bottle of wine opened. Something is in the oven, and it smells divine, and Blaine does manage a smile when Kurt turns around in surprise, wearing his apron and oven mitts. "Oh! I thought you'd be later."

"I um...usually stay to chat after class, but I came right home. What's all this?"

"Dinner. I thought we could...I don't know, spend some time together, I guess."

"Sure."

"Oh. Good. So...well, it's almost ready, if you want to wash up?"

Blaine gives a nod and is gone, and Kurt once again is convinced that this is it, the night things will finally get back on track, because Blaine had seemed pleased. He had smiled, and talked, and Kurt had the feeling he wanted this to be made right.

"This is nice, huh?" Kurt asks over dinner, and Blaine gives possibly the brightest smile he's given in over a week.

"Yeah, good. You need to make this again."

"I meant..." Kurt starts, then shakes his head. "Nevermind. Yeah, I'll make it again."

"So how was your day?"

Kurt tries not to let his surprise show, he just swallows his mouthful and settles back in his chair, reaching for his wine. "Oh, well, it was...good." He pauses, wondering why it's so difficult to talk all of a sudden, when this is a usual part of their routine. "Um...I got a first look at some ideas for our spring shoots."

"Already? It's only October."

"I know, but fashion is all about looking ahead. I'd like to switch departments actually, if a spot ever opens up. I'd like to work on the shoots, you know, planning them, preparing them...but people don't often leave that kind of job."

"Well if they do, you should go for it," Blaine says firmly. "Chase your dreams and all that."

"Oh, I've kind of achieved those already."

"Working in fashion? I know."

"I meant you, actually," Kurt says, watching Blaine closely. "I might not have always realized it, but being with you was always my biggest dream of all, and now that we live together, it's like..."

Blaine looks at the table, fiddling with the wine cork as Kurt talks, but he gives a small shake of his head. "I don't think..."

"Please talk to me," Kurt urges, reaching for his hand. "I can't go on like this."

"You don't have to," Blaine says, playing with his fingers. "I told you, it's my issue and I need to get over it. It's for me to deal with, not you."

"It's not though," Kurt says, already feeling the tears threatening. "Because it's affecting us as a couple, and besides that, I love you and I don't like seeing you upset. Blaine, you won't even look me in the eye, let alone kiss me."

"I hold you at night."

"Big fucking deal!" Kurt flares, angrily getting to his feet. "This is not a relationship!" he shouts, gesturing between them. "This is a couple who supposedly love each other, acting like strangers for ninety nine percent of their day, and I can't do it! You say you need to deal with it, but how long is that gonna take? How many more weeks of this am I gonna have to endure? My past is my past, Blaine, I can't do anything to change it!"

"I know that!" Blaine shouts back. "But I don't know how to move past this, Kurt! I'm trying, really, but it's in my head the whole damn day, always, in here!" he cries desperately, but Kurt is too angry and frustrated to care, grabbing his jacket and wallet, and storming to the door.

"You need to decide then, whether you can move past it or not, and let me know the outcome please."

He slams the door quickly, but it's not quick enough to stop the sound of Blaine's sob from reaching his ears, and he runs out of the building and onto the street.

Blaine hears him return, at almost one in the morning, and he knows he's completely wasted from the loud crashes and muttered cursing that follows his trail around the apartment, but he doesn't come to bed, and Blaine doesn't get up to see if he's okay, he just lies there and sleeps in fits and starts, until it's a reasonable time for him to get up and go to the campus library.

He walks the entire way, not caring that it's raining or that he is crying in public, but when he reaches the library, he can't bring himself to go inside. Kurt is right, he needs to work this out. He needs to talk to someone, to let it all out to someone who will listen and not judge him, because he knows how irrational he's being, he can see how much he's hurting the one he loves the most, but he just can't stop it.

"Blaine?" Angie asks in surprise, when she answers the phone. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..."

"Has something happened?"

"No. Well, yes but...I'm okay. We're all okay but...Kurt and I...we might not be."

"Sweetie, I don't think I understand you. Are you safe?" she asks, worried by the obvious upset in his voice. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, no I'm just...wandering around, I guess."

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Um kind of...it's complicated..." Angie's heart sinks to hear him start to cry. She can hear from the noise of the traffic that he's outside, and the thought of him alone and vulnerable on the streets of New York at eight in the morning makes her heart ache. "I'm really awful," Blaine cries, and she can see him as a small child, his bottom lip trembling as he cries. "I'm horrible for even saying this, but I don't think I can forgive Kurt's past. I thought I could, but I don't know if I can and..."

Sitting in her car, Angie looks up at her work building and makes a snap decision. "I'm coming to you," she says, setting the phone on speaker and starting the engine. "Go find somewhere to get coffee and compose yourself, then either go home to wait for me there, or text me somewhere I can meet you."

"No, you don't have to..."

"I do," she says, desperately hoping she can make the drive there and back without Spencer realizing she's been at work too long. "Stay safe, honey, and I'll be with you soon."

Blaine does as she suggested, taking himself to a coffee shop he's never been in before, which is halfway between campus and his apartment, and then he heads home, figuring he won't be any use at all in school today. The apartment is empty, and Kurt's work bag and laptop are gone, so he guesses he must have gone for the day. Still, if he does arrive home and Angie is there, Blaine will just say she decided to come visit.

It's eleven thirty before Angie gets to him, and when she does, and she's actually standing in the apartment, Blaine thinks he possibly made the wrong decision in calling her. If it was Burt, he would have scooped him up in his big strong arms, and crushed him tightly to his chest. Santana would have forced him to lie with his head in her lap, so she could smooth his hair and kiss his cheek from time to time, and even Brandon would have given him a hug, but Angie doesn't seem to know what to do, so she clutches her purse awkwardly, until Blaine springs to life and takes it from her, along with her coat and hangs them in the coat closet.

"Thanks for coming. You didn't need to."

"You were crying," Angie says quietly. "I um...I haven't seen or heard you cry for so long, and I know it's usually Kurt or Burt you turn to."

"I can't with this."

"You want to talk?" Angie offers. "It might help."

"I might cry again though."

"Blaine." Angie becomes firm, taking charge and pushing past him into the kitchen, where she starts to make coffee. "I'm your mom. We might not have the worlds best relationship, but I am here for you, and I do love you. Let me help you, please."

Blaine leans against the counter, watching her as she moves around, gathering cups and unloading the dishwasher, even though he could have done that himself. He doesn't say anything for a while, because he's trying to work out what exactly he wants and needs to say. Certainly he would never tell anyone the exact details of all that had been revealed, because that would never be fair to Kurt, and he wouldn't want his mom to look at Kurt in that way.

"We went out a couple of Saturdays back," he starts, and Angie just carries on being busy, knowing he finds it easier to talk this way. "I didn't want to go, because I kinda...I feel like I don't fit, you know? Like Kurt just knows what to wear and what to say, and they're all his work friends and...anyway, we ended up having a really good time. We got pretty drunk and danced a lot and..." he suddenly remembers, leaning against a wall in a club and telling Kurt he was his fantasy. He was worried he sounded lame, but Kurt had looked more crazed with want than he had ever seen him. Yes they were drunk, but those words must have held meaning for him, surely? The way he kissed Blaine had been..."Yeah," he sighs, "We had a whole lot of fun."

"Good. So?"

"So we went onto another club, and Kurt said he used to go there. I um...I don't know how much you know about Kurt, what dad's told you, but...um...he has quite a past."

"Well, I'd kinda guessed that," Angie says, handing him his drink and gently guiding him into the living room. "From things Kurt has said, I could guess."

"There were these three guys who recognized him, and they were all...ex partners," Blaine gets out. "But um...casual partners, I guess."

"Hook ups?"

"Yeah. It's happened before, some guy in a diner once, and I'm pretty sure there was a guy in this Mexican restaurant, he was looking at Kurt really intently, and Kurt just looked away and didn't say anything, but I knew."

"And you don't like that? That he's had others?"

"That doesn't bother me. I told him once it didn't matter, because I'm going to be the one who keeps him but... I battle these feelings of inadequacy a lot," Blaine admits. "I don't provide for him like I want to, because I don't have much money. I can't buy him the expensive clothes he likes, or take him out fancy places. I feel like when we're dressed to go out, side by side, it looks like some guy talking his younger brother out to play with the big boys. I feel like I never say the right things, or act in the right way. I feel all this, but Kurt always makes it okay. Like, he loves me so much and I can see it, I know that he doesn't see me the way I do at all. He really is proud to be with me. He takes me out with his friends, not because he feels obligated, but because he wants to."

"That's wonderful," Angie says, patting his knee. "That he can make you feel better about yourself."

"But hearing those guys," Blaine carries on. "Talking about things they used to do...it was horrible, mom."

His tears come, as he knew they would, and he wipes angrily at his eyes as he tries to carry on. "It was...I can't...I mean I can't tell you, because that wouldn't be fair to him, but ever since that night I feel like...I feel embarrassed to go anywhere near him. How can I, when he's had this whole other exciting life, which I'm never in a million years going to be able to give him? I can't even kiss him," he admits, his cheeks staining red. "Let alone...anything else. I don't think I'll ever be able to be with him in that way again. How can I...how can he possibly find pleasure in someone as dull and boring and inexperienced as me?"

"Oh Blaine." Angie takes his cup, and hands him a tissue, then holds her arms out. "Come here."

He literally can't remember the last time he cried in his mom's arms, because even when his dad had died, she had only given him brief hugs, but she holds him now as she used to do when he was four, nine, eleven, kissing and soothing and cuddling, while he lets everything go. He knows he is practically glued to her side, but he doesn't care, he hugs her back just as hard, and cries for as long as he needs to, which turns out to be a very long time indeed.

When he eventually composes himself somewhat, when his sobs are more like occasional sniffles, and his tears are gone, he sits back, embarrassed, but Angie doesn't seem bothered by his emotional outburst at all. She just kisses his cheek and smoothes his hair, and Blaine decides it was a good idea to call her after all.

"Blaine, honey, I'm going to be honest here, okay? I don't really have anything to lose," she adds with a wry smile. "I dont think you're being stupid, but I do think you're being unreasonable, and you know that, don't you?"

"I do," Blaine whispers, "yeah."

"That said, I can see why you're being this way, and I get why that situation would make you feel so insecure. Question, since that night, has Kurt said anything to give you reason to think he might not want you anymore, or that you don't satisfy him in some way?"

"No, no he's been...he's been so good, as he always is. He's told me over and over that I'm enough, and that I'm all he wants and needs. He says he wouldn't want me to...ahem...behave how those guys did anyway. They were pretty graphic."

"And that must have been awful for you, but think how Kurt must have felt too. Blaine, when he tells you you're enough, why don't you believe him?"

"Because I don't think that," he admits, "I just keep thinking that at some point in his life, he wanted that lifestyle, and he could want it again."

"Blaine, I might not know Kurt...or you...very well, but I know this. Since you were sixteen, you've known that Kurt is the only man you're ever going to want. I remember you two sitting in a restaurant with me, and telling me you wanted kids."

"Yeah, we do. I do. He's all I've ever wanted."

"So if you can be so sure of that, why can't he be so sure that he's never going to want that lifestyle again?"

"Um..."

"Forget I'm your mom for a minute, and tell me, does he satisfy you in bed?"

"Mom!" Blaine shrieks, rolling on the couch and hiding behind a cushion. "You can't ask me that!"

"Blaine, I'm trying to help you see reason. Come on."

"He..." Blaine pulls back the cushion so only his eyes show, but Angie knows he is on fire with embarrassment. "Yes," he manages weakly. "He does."

"So you can say that, but he can't claim the same about you, without it being false?"

"It's..." he drops the cushion, but still refuses to look at her, staring down at his hands instead. "He's done all this wild stuff and I...I'm more about romance, I guess."

"Which is exactly what anyone would want in a relationship," Angie reassures. "Blaine, sweetie, you have only ever been with Kurt. If you two hadn't met until you were done with college, no doubt you'd have some stories to tell too. Most people have. But when you two did then meet, and settle down, you'd find that the sex was a million times better, even if it wasn't wild and experimental, because it was with someone you love. It becomes less about chasing your own pleasure, and more about wanting to bring pleasure to your partner. It's like...how can I say this? It's like, if you're with a one night stand, you do things that you know will satisfy you. When you're with someone you love, you want them to seek you out, to get to know you. It really is making love, because it's about sharing your bodies together. I'll bet you and Kurt know each other's ticklish spots, or what makes the other one weak. You don't get that with a quick fling."

"Please stop talking," Blaine moans. "This is excruciating."

"No, because this is important. Blaine, I'm not part of your relationship, but I'd guess that for Kurt, the first time you two went to bed together was probably more nerve wracking and held more meaning than anything that he'd done before. Hell, probably your first kiss was worth more than anything else he had ever done. He loves you, Blaine. You two might not be married, but you've still made a very real and honest commitment to each other by living together, and openly saying your future is as a couple. You need to let this go, because otherwise it will eat you up. You say you want marriage and babies, and that you love him with all your heart, but you can't forgive a few dumb moments from his past?"

"No I can, I can forgive that. I just don't know if I can ever...y'know...be intimate like that with him again, without worrying that I'm awful."

"I think you can," Angie says encouragingly. "Because I think you know, deep down, exactly how much pleasure you both get from those times together. Take it slow, but you'll get there, really."

"Can we stop talking about it now?" Blaine asks meekly. "This is seriously the most embarrassing conversation I have ever, ever had."

Angie laughs, drawing Blaine close so his head rests on her shoulder. "Yep. You're Carl Anderson's son alright. He was afraid to tell anyone I was pregnant," she laughs. "He kept saying 'But they'll know we had sex!'"

"Mom!"

"What? I'm not a robot."

"You just like...had it that one time though, right? To get me?"

Angie pulls back to look at him, her sweet, shy and bashful son, and she gives a solemn nod. "Yes, Blaine, of course."

"Good." He stops, giving her a sideways glance and a small smile. "Thank you for coming."

"Anytime." She shrugs, looking down at her hands. "To be honest, I surprised myself, but I'm glad I did."

"It was exactly what I needed. We should make the effort to talk more."

"I know," she sighs, and is elated when Blaine rests his head on her shoulder again. He was always an affectionate little boy, and she's seen that affection with Burt and Kurt, but not with her for years. She lets her hand come up to rub over his cheek briefly, then lets it rest on his leg instead.

"Will we see you over the holidays? Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know," she admits. "It's hard because there's Spencer and the boys, and then there's you... I'd rather be with you," she confesses. "I had such a good time last year."

"Me too. It was a bit rough at times, but we still had fun. I'd like it if we could see you for something though. Christmas?"

"How about New Year?" Angie asks.

"That could work."

"I could fly to Ohio, if Burt doesn't mind, or come here...It falls on a weekend, so I can easily tell Spencer I'm spending it with girlfriends."

Blaine sits up to look at her. "You don't tell him you see me?"

"I can't," she says sadly. "It's just easier... I'm not ashamed of you."

"I know that," Blaine says evenly. "I just find it sad, that's all."

"Yes, well... see what a good man you have in Kurt? Treasure him."

Blaine settles down again, knowing she won't discuss her home life, and knowing that for today at least, he will have to let things lie. "I will," he says, taking her hand in his. "I promise."