Disclaimer: Twilight, not mine
All through the night I'll be watching over you
And all through the night I'll be standing over you
And through bad dreams I'll be right there baby
telling you everything's going to be alright
When you cry I'll be there baby
telling you were never nothing less than beautiful
So don't you worry
I'm your angel standing by
Angel Standing By-Jewel
I reluctantly left Edward to join Alice and Rosalie. Although difficult to leave, I was looking forward to spending the day with the girls. I wasn't however looking forward to the interrogation I was about to receive. I passed eye brow wagging Emmett in the living room.
"Hey there Bella how was your night?" I knew it was killing him not to say more but Rosalie probably told him to go easy on me. I wasn't so sure about what he was going to inflict on Edward.
"Hey Em, it was nice. Where are the girls?"
"Nice… nice! That's all I get is nice? C'mon give me something."
"Hey I have to deal with Alice and Rosalie, there's nothing to tell but I'm sure that isn't stopping you from getting to Edward. Take it easy on him okay."
"Boooring…. BOOOO! The girls are waiting outside for you in Rosies car. And Bella…."
"Yeah?"
"I'll take it easy on Eddie." He said laughing using his little air quotes.
"Great. See you guys later!"
I walked outside and pulled the door of Rosalies red Beamer open. They were laughing, singing Lil' Kims Ladies Night at the top of their lungs. I missed my girls.
As soon as I slid into the front seat Rosalie shut the music off. Uh-oh. Rosalie sped out of the driveway and I waited for it to begin. I saw their smiles, their devious, dirty, delicious little smirks. Rosalie arched her eyebrow at me.
"You know I've always been jealous of those who can do that, it's so mischievous looking. I can't curl my tongue or whistle either." I sipped my coffee waiting for the storm of questions.
"Fucking spill it Bella." I nearly spit my coffee out on Rosalies dash.
"There really is nothing to tell."
"Oh but I bet you want there to be." Alice said leaning forward from the back seat.
"Did you come home with plans to deflower Cullen?' Rosalie always did get right to the point.
"And don't mind me Bella, I already plan to pretend your not talking about my brother."
"What do you want me to say? I came here for lots of reasons. I ran away from my problems when all I really wanted to do was be home. I neglected my friends and one of them happens to be Edward." I knew that was in no way going to satisfy their need for the gossip.
"Cut the crap Bella. Blah, Blah, Blah that's all I hear. We know you neglected us and we know why and were past that. Were sisters and your back, were back, and that's what matters. Of course you're here for Alice and for me, but what's more important is what you're doing for yourself. And by doing I mean fucking."
"Rosalie!"
"Belllaaa!" They both said, taunting me.
"What do you want me to say?"
"We can't offer you our extensive knowledge and advice if you don't ask for it. And you want to ask, I can just feel it."
Alice was right, I needed their advice. I just wasn't sure if I, if we were at that point yet.
"I want to fix our friendship first, I am not sure how Edward feels and if we are at the point of taking us further."
"Yes but when that point arrives, don't you want to be ready?
True.
"Bella, Alice and I know you're still a card carrying member of the V club, as is Eddie."
"He is?"
"You're joking right? Bella, my brother is a recluse. If you don't fix him he's going to be the old curmudgeon that swats his broom at poor little kids on Halloween. He hasn't done anything or anyone since you left."
"Thanks a lot Alice, that makes me feel just great."
"Oh c'mon, you know that's not what I meant. You know he loves you, and he has been miserable but that isn't your fault. He has done this to himself. We all know you tried, we all tried. He just wasn't ready yet. He isn't completely ready now but he has been more willing than I have ever seen him before and that IS because of you." She said wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
"So what did happen last night?" Rosalie was always one to get back to the point, especially when it became too sappy for her.
"Nothing, really I swear. Before I left yesterday he reminded me how he used to climb into my window and last night I returned the favor. We talked a little and then fell asleep."
"And? It looked like more than just sleeping to me."
"We shared a small yet amazing kiss this morning before I left, but really nothing more." Unfortunately.
"But you want more? I mean nothing will go back to the way it was, you know that right? We were kids then, we all changed and we are moving forward. The both of you need to move forward. It's pointless trying to recreate the past, it won't happen."
I knew Rosalie was right, but had no clue where to begin. I did have to somewhat deal with the past. I needed to help Edward get over his guilt, make him understand none of this was ever his fault. But did I have to do that before we could move forward? Could I do both at the same time? After this morning, I truly hoped so.
"No, I want more but I don't know if he will completely let me in until he realizes we can't change what happened and he can't feel so damn guilty. I don't want us to become physical if he will just regret it and tell me he doesn't deserve me. I hate that shit now and it would be even worse if he said that after…you know?"
"Bella he won't say that after, he will be thanking you, worshipping you."
"Rosalie you don't understand how hard he is on himself. Alice knows, I've seen his mood change several times and I've only been for a day."
"You are making this too difficult. I have seen the mood swings, the depression, but trust me when I say he has been his best in the last day. It's hard for him to accept that he deserves happiness in his life. Edward is adjusting and I know it will only get better from here, trust me."
"I do Alice, and you too Rose. Now tell me what needs to be done."
"Finally!"
They both started in on their advice, which by the way was completely opposite. I knew I was somewhere in the middle. I listened but it was starting to get overwhelming. In the end I knew I would do what made me most comfortable.
We soon arrived at our first stop. Alice had designed her own dress as well as ours and needed to go over the final plans with the seamstress. There was no point in having a wedding planner, Alice knew what she wanted, and Rosalie and I were just along for the ride. A few stores later and we had ordered the flowers and reserved the canopy, chairs and chair covers. This was actually easier than I thought it was going to be, Alice was so organized.
"Just one more stop, Jackson and I do food and cake sampling next week. Mom is taking care of the invitations and all of the travel arrangements. I have a list for you and Rosalie."
"Where are we going next?" I wasn't tired as much as I was anxious to see Edward again. I also wanted to get home and make Charlie dinner tonight. I had only left a quick note last night and hadn't really spent any time with him.
"You'll see." I didn't like the sound of her response. But I did say that I would trust them.
You'll see turned out to be a lingerie boutique. They tried to convince me they both needed a few things but I found it rather convenient that the whole time we were there I was the only one in a dressing room. They were both shoving bras, garters, thongs, boy shorts in all fabrics and colors at me. The innocent part of me was embarrassed, a little overwhelmed. The other part, the part in me that wanted Edward was eager and excited. In the end I settled for a few sexy yet tasteful sets, much to Rosalie's dismay. I'm sure she would have been prouder if I had walked away with crotchless panties and a whip.
As we pulled into the driveway I noticed the Volvo was gone. Surprisingly we had beaten them home. I decided I should head home first, make dinner, spend time with Charlie and freshen up. It was still early and I could be back here in a few hours. I let Alice and Rosalie in on my plans and hugged them both goodbye.
When I got home Charlie was attempting to make dinner. His attempt was Dinty Moore beef stew in a can. Umm no.
"Dad, stop, is this what you've been eating? That's just, eww, that's just gross and unhealthy."
"Bells, its fine." He would say that. I'm sure it was this or the diner every night.
"Go watch the game, I'll call you when I'm done." He kissed me on the forehead and walked into the other room.
In the end making dinner was harder than I imagined with what little Charlie had in the house. I made spaghetti and some canned corn. I would have preferred a garden salad and maybe some garlic bread but I had almost nothing to work with, I definitely needed to make a shopping trip tomorrow.
We ate in a comfortable silence. He mentioned parts of his day and I let him know little of what planning a wedding was all about. Less was always better with Charlie. I cleaned the kitchen and headed upstairs to take a shower. I let the hot water soothe me. I was nervous and a little tense. I had no idea where tonight might go after the way we left the situation this morning. I took more time to get myself ready. I packed a small bag just in case, it was later than I planned and if anything I would stay in Edwards old room.
I dropped my bag at the bottom of the stairs and let Charlie know I was heading back to the Cullens. I used wedding planning as my excuse, although I was old enough not to need one.
As I drove to the house I realized I had no real expectations. The night could go either way. I wouldn't prepare myself too much, I didn't want to be disappointed. I would be happy if we talked and at most repeated a little of last night. But part of me knew I had to push myself, remind myself I would have to lead. Except Edward did kiss me this morning. That was an interesting thought. I needed to remind myself of what I really wanted from Edward.
I pulled up as Rosalie and Emmett seemed to be leaving. I was disappointed I wouldn't spend any time with Emmett. He would have definitely helped me relax. I said a quick goodbye as they drove off and headed into the house.
Esme and Carlisle were probably already upstairs. Alice and Jackson were on the couch. His head was in her lap and she was stroking his hair. I didn't want to intrude on their private moment and Alice must have noticed that as she motioned to Edwards room. I waved at her as I made my way down the hall.
I didn't want to assume I would be staying with Edward and left my bag outside his door. I knocked before I let myself in, just to be sure. The moment I saw him I knew exactly where I wanted this night to go. He was sitting on his bed, his back against his headboard, reading a book. He was wearing simple pajama pants…and nothing else. He smiled when I walked in and put his book down on the nightstand.
I only made it a few steps in the room when he abruptly got up and made his way over to me. He grabbed me faster than I could even react.
"Thank god you're here, I thought maybe you weren't coming back."
Before I could respond his lips were on mine again and it was more than I could have even hoped for tonight. I could feel the kiss through my entire body. I ached for him. He kissed me as though he needed to make up for all the times he hadn't. His touch wasn't apprehensive or awkward. I was made to be touched by him. My body had waited for him. I had waited for Edward and this kiss told me he had done the same. This was nothing like this morning, and I dreaded when he would break away. I would never have the strength to do it. How would I ever have the strength to leave this man again?
Maybe I wouldn't have to lead after all.
A/N: Just to let you know a little lemony treat is planned for the next chapter. Please review, tell me its great, just okay or totally sucks ass, just tell me somethin'! Thank you.