Disclaimer- Not mine blah blah blah, wish it was blah blah blah.

Warning- extreme fluff warning! Fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff

So, you want to know something funny? I had every intention of actually making this a short chapter. I had 4 hours of sleep last night and no nap today, so that would lead one to believe I should be tired right? WRONG! I looked at my computer and noticed 2 things. 1) This "short" chapter is 2000 words long... 2) Its midnight and I am finally finishing this chapter.

SO MUCH FOR SLEEP! Anyway, enjoy this new, "short" chapter in 'Kaoru's Struggle'!

BTW this chapter takes place the SAME DAY as ch 9 but right after the club.

Kaoru's P.O.V.-

I went home after the Host Club ended alone. Haruhi made Hikaru stay behind to talk about something important apparently. Hikaru looked pained to have to stay with Haruhi, but I feel like I don't know anything about their relationship anymore.

I was doing some homework in my room for about an hour when a small knock came from my door, almost too soft to hear.

"Kaoru" Hikaru's voice was quiet, almost hesitant. Like he didn't want me to answer.

To say I was shocked that my brother sought me out in my room would be an understatement. Even though he has been acknowledging my presence more often than before, he has never sought me out in my room.

"It's ok Hikaru, you can come in." The sight that met my eyes when he walked in was a surprising one to say the least.

Hikaru had clearly been crying if his red, swollen eyes were anything to go by. His left cheek was red, almost like he had been slapped. Tear tracks are still staining his face.

I'm up immediately and heading towards the door before he can say anything to me. I stand an arms length away from my brother and regard him with worry heavily lacing my voice.

"What happened Hikaru? Why are you so upset? Where is Haruhi?"

I bombard my twin with too many questions and the fear I see in his eyes is steadily rising. He looks like he is going to bolt any minute.

"I... ah, sorry Kaoru... You were busy... and I, uh, I shouldn't have disturbed you. I'm... gonna... um, I'm gonna go. Sorry" Hikaru turned to run but I couldn't let him leave like that so I did the first thing that came to my mind.

I reached for him before he could leave and somehow managed to grab his hand as he turned away. As soon as our hands touched, an electric jolt ran from our connecting skin throughout my body, sending a shiver down my spine and making my breath a little bit shallower.

I let go like I had been shocked, which I guess I had been, and risked a glance at my twin, seeing if he had felt what I had felt. I was speechless when I saw a faint blush across my brothers cheeks and slightly dilated eyes, making him look almost... hungry.

"Um. Please come in Hikaru. We don't have to talk if you want but," I stumbled over what to say next to get him to stay with me, "But if you want, we can get you cleaned up a bit and take a walk around the pond."

Once I saw Hikaru smirk slightly at my suggestion, I knew that he would take me up on my offer. That pond was our favorite place to hang out at as children. It was on our property, still in view of the mansion, but far enough away that we can feel separate from it. We used to play for hours around the pond... back when it was simpler between us.

"I'd love to do that Kaoru. Can I just use your bathroom real fast before we head out? I want to change out of my uniform."

I nod and he makes his way to the bathroom, brushing against me to get by and another shiver racks through my body.

It takes him about 10 minutes to get out of my bathroom, but when he does, he looks refreshed and one hundred times calmer than when he first knocked on my door. We make our way to the pond in a comfortable silence, the first one we have shared in a long time.

After a few laps around the pond without either of us saying something we sat down at a bench that we had by the edge. I waited for Hikaru to say something, anything really, but I was content to just being in his presence after so long. As I knew he would, Hikaru eventually started opening up.

"Haruhi dumped me today."

Ok... that I was not expecting.

"Did she tell you why?"

"Well that's just it! She tells me that we aren't talking anymore and that I seem distant. Apparently she got sick of carrying the weight of our relationship on her shoulders and she said we were through."

"I'm sorry. Um... not to pry or anything, but it looked like you got slapped when you showed up earlier. If, ah... if she broke up with you why did she slap you?"

Hikaru grimaced slightly and touched his cheek where he was slapped.

"After she broke up with me... she asked me why I wasn't into our relationship anymore. I told her the truth... I," he glanced at me quickly before turning away, a small blush creeping up his face, "I said I didn't love her anymore... so she slapped me and left."

He what? He doesn't love her anymore?! But... they were so happy. Wait. Something doesn't add up...

"If you didn't love her... then why were you crying when you came home? If you don't have feelings for her, then it shouldn't have hurt you that much when she left."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"But why? Why were you..."

"STOP ASKING ME!" Hikaru yelled with tears beginning to form in his eyes.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence after that as the sun began to set over the tree line. I was almost ready to leave when a small sob caught my attention. I turn to Hikaru ready to comfort him but he shrugs off my hand and looks me square in the eyes with tears now steadily falling down his face.

"Y-you really want t-to know why I was cr-cr-crying?" The sobs were making it harder for me to understand him, so he tries to compose himself before continuing. I can tell that he desperately want to cry but he pulls himself together to get the rest of his story out.

"I was crying because I realized that I never really lo-loved her. I thought I did and I ruined the one relationship that ment the most to me in the entire world. I singlehandedly destroyed the bond that we had over someone that... that I thought I loved more than you. She was the only one ever able to tell us apart and I mistook fascination with love. For that I will forever be sorry. I will never be able to forgive myself because I hurt you... I hurt you so deeply over the last few weeks. I know I hurt you more than you let on and I'm so sorry. I'm happy that Tamaki was there for you because... because I wasn't. I wish I was a better twin. You deserve a twin that accepts you for who you are and not ignore you for weeks. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure out that I am a horrible brother. I wish... I wish things could go back to the way things were but... but I know it's too late for that. I promise Kaoru, that no matter how long it takes, I will earn your respect and love again."

The tears had come back during his speech. I can honestly say that is the most I have ever heard Hikaru say at one time and I am touched by everything he has said. He has clearly thought a lot about this and I can tell his feelings are sincere.

"I believe you Hikaru. I know you are sorry and that's something I never thought you would say to me. I wouldn't mind starting over if you don't."

We face each other and I offer Hikaru my hand. Gratitude flits across his features as he reaches for my hand. As our skin touches, that same spark of want shoots through my body and my gaze snaps to Hikaru's. His eyes are dilated and he has not released my hand yet.

The sun is setting and the orange glow is reflecting off of his face and hair, making his appear to glow. My gaze drops to his lips... his lips that look so red and puffy and... kissable.

I don't realize I'm staring until Hikaru licks his lips and coughs to get my attention. Our hands are still grasped in each others, and I have moved much closer to Hikaru than is acceptable.

I stand up suddenly, trying to get any form of distance between my twin and I when my arm is suddenly pulled and- oh!

Hikaru's P.O.V.-

Ask me why I did it and I will never know, but Kaoru was going to leave and I couldn't let that happen so I... I kissed him.

Well... not really kissed. More like I am kissing him, ravaging his mouth with my own trying to push down these feelings that have been awakened in me and failing miserably.

The first thing I notice when our lips meet is warmth. Kaoru's mouth is warm and soft... opening instantly to my ministration. Our tongues meet and jolts of pleasure rack through my body. I grab the sides of his head and force our kiss to deepen. Kaoru's are staying limply by his side, and that fact makes me want to make him loose his control. I want him tearing at my clothes, grabbing my body, desperate for more contact.

I want him.

I break our lips apart because it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. I didn't want to let up though, so I continued down his jaw and neck until I found his collarbone and began to kiss and suck on the skin there, leaving a lovely bruise. Kaoru is moaning in earnest right now and his sounds are making my pants increasingly tight.

His hands finally moved. I was so worried that they would push me away, that I was pleasantly surprised when they wrapped around my neck and Kaoru began to moan my name. The fact that I was doing this to Kaoru, my brother, my twin, never crossed my mind. All I could think about was him... and this love that I was feeling for him.

This is where I should be. With Kaoru. In his arms. Forever.

Wow! I am sooooo mean for leaving it like that but OH WELL! Cliffy!

Tune in next time to see how far this goes! Did Kaoru for get about Tamaki? (Don't worry, I didn't ;D) Does Tamaki get thrown to the side like last weeks cassarol? Does Haruhi have any surprises for anyone? WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MORI AND HUNNY?!

The answer is I will answer all of these questions eventually! I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter!