Hey I know most of you have probably given up on me. To be honest, I was kind of sure I was not going to continue this anymore despite the love you guys bring me. You guys were always the sweetest reviewers and it kind of broke my heart to stop this. But thankfully, I was watching Paramore interviews (because I'm a crazy fan) and saw one where Hayley Williams said that she loved Pitch Perfect while they were at the MMAs. So you can thank her for making me watch Pitch Perfect again and inspiring me to continue. I know you won't thank her though because this is going to suck I just know it. Oh well, time for me to shut up and write again! Just so you know… I missed you guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hate to See Your Heart Break by Paramore (buy their new album, this song is great, it's about Taylor York, love of my life!), Roman Holiday (references), Pitch Perfect and the characters. Oh gosh, I even missed the disclaimer.

"Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal. Oh, how were you to know? How were you to know? I hate to see your heart break. I hate to see your eyes grow darker as they close, but I've been there before."
-Hate to See Your Heart Break, Paramore

She had once imagined her heart as a black hole, sucking out all of the pain and all of the sadness after her parents' divorce. But she never imagined that it would suck out the joy and love too. Later on, she wondered if taking away the pain was worth sacrificing all of the good things she could have felt.

But around him, it didn't matter. He didn't care about the black hole that sucked in all of his affection, all of his care. He had found every chink in her armour, all the cracks in her walls and he tore it all down, leaving her and nothing but her, what he had been searching for all along.

"Anya, seriously?" She said and he threw his head back and laughed at her. She'd always been so skeptical and judgemental when it came to the movies that he made her watch, but they'd always been the best movies and she enjoyed watching them with him. Not that she'd admit to either.

"It's Roman Holiday!" He exclaimed as if the presence of Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in the movie would explain everything to her. She shot him a look and he let out a sigh, knowing that his arguments would get him nowhere. "It's about a princess in Rome, I don't think they planned on going with realistic."

"Unfortunately for you and Princess Ann, I kind of live for reality." She said in her half-joking way.

They were sitting in the same position that they had been when he'd made her watch the ending of The Breakfast Club, the first in a long list of movies that she liked. But their fingers were intertwined and that made her feel good, so good that she wondered if it was real life or if it was just fantasy.

She looked down at their hands as he absentmindedly drew those circles on her own hand with his thumb. It made her feel like his hand belonged in her own. They'd gone from fighting to making up/out at the ICCAs in front of hundreds of people to becoming… what they were.

"Hold it Wikipedia," She interrupted him while he was spouting fun facts and trivia about the movie. It annoyed him a little, but he let it slide. Especially since he couldn't do anything about it. "Princess Ann escapes in Rome, gets money from a stranger and spends it all on a haircut, shoes and gelato." He laughed at the accuracy of her synopsis. "So that's what badass is in the 1950s I guess."

"It's amazing, they used to have Princess Ann," He joked with an amused expression on his face earning him a playful punch to the side. He ignored it and continued. "And now we have you, Beca Mitchell. It's like I can make an entire documentary on the evolution of the bad girl. I think it would sell, don't you?"

She scoffed at his joke and let him return to the movie. She watched him mouth the words along with Gregory Peck. She watched him as she did before, with the exact same curiosity and wonder. He was so different. She'd never meant for any of it to happen and there she was all the same. And she didn't hate it either.

"You're missing the movie. Again." He said after noticing that she was paying more attention to him than the fact that Anya was ordering champagne in a sidewalk café in Rome. He waited a few more moments, giving her a chance to divert her attention to the movie even if he knew it wouldn't happen.

He let out a sigh that they'd both become much too familiar with and he turned his head to look at her face, the beautiful face he'd spotted from his car window that fateful day. He kissed her and she didn't pull away, feeling the joy that should have been sucked away burst inside her, making her feel alive.

It was more than the mere prospect of them kissing on her bed in the late afternoon while Kimmy Jin was at a lecture. It was him and the way he made her feel, the way he made her forget that the black hole was there. She had a heart again, thanks to him, and it made her realize that she did want to feel after all.

Just when she wound her arms around his neck, her phone rang. She threw her head back and groaned, contemplating whether or not she should pick it up. He placed one single feather light kiss on her neck and handed her her phone from the bedside table.

She picked up and almost squealed while saying hello, something she would never normally do, when he pulled her onto his lap while his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her in place. Seeing people do those things had once made her nauseous, but that was before she knew how good it actually felt.

"Beca?" The voice on the other line said and she almost dropped the phone. No, she was beyond dropping the phone. She was ready to yell and toss the phone at the wall. But a part of her was glad, so terribly glad that she hadn't been forgotten. Those contradictory feelings made her want the black hole.

The shock washed over her like a wave washes over a shore. She knew that voice like she knew her own. The voice made her tense even in his arms where she felt the safest she'd ever been. The thoughts flooded her head, letting no words escape her lips.

"Are you there Beca?" The voice asked and she found the will to say yes. She found the will to say anything at all and it occurred to her that his patience was rubbing off on her. She heard a sigh of relief on the other side. The line was quiet for a while, filling itself with anxiety. "I'm in town Beca."

She took a sharp intake of breath and wondered exactly what they were doing there. She wasn't even given a fair warning, she wasn't given the privilege of being told. It was just like before and it hurt her to admit it. "Why are you in town?" She asked, tone cold and cringeworthy.

"I want to have dinner with you tonight." They said and she was really ready to toss her phone at the wall this time. He must have felt how tense she was at that point because he held onto her even tighter than he did before. She was rather thankful for it. "It's important, I want to talk to you."

She pursed her lips, contemplating things once again. She found herself doing that a lot. If she was still who she was a few months before, she wouldn't have given things a second thought and said no. She would have blocked everything out with her headphones. But she knew that wasn't the case.

"Alright. Text me the details and I'll see you tonight." She said, hanging up before another word could be said. She finally dropped her phone on the bed and let out a deep breath, one that she had no idea she'd been holding in. That's when she put her hands over her mouth and everything in her mind just came flooding in.

So many questions deserving of answers and yet so many bitter and hateful words wanting to be said. She didn't know what to say, what to do. She thought that she would leave things as they were, but that obviously wasn't the case. Things just had to be resolved all the time.

"Bec," He said when he felt that he could speak again, when he felt that she was ready to hear his voice again. "Bec, who was that?"

She turned his head to look at him. She looked at him straight in the eye, something she'd found difficult to do with most other people. He saw it all, he saw the anger and hate and fear etched into her face. But when he looked at those wonderful blue eyes, he saw it. He saw the joy she felt deep in her soul.

"That was my mom."

She entered the diner near Barden that was small enough on the outside that you'd probably have to drive past it at least three times just to realize it was there. On the inside though, it was rather spacious, making that illusion that restaurants and buildings usually have.

It was reminiscent of her time in New York. Her mother always got home late from work and by the time she was back, she'd say screw it and take her daughter to a diner not so far from their apartment. It was a part of her that she didn't want to let go of, but didn't want to remember either. She just locked it away.

She looked around, searching for the same head of dark hair that she had. She saw it in a booth and she couldn't help but laugh through all the anger bubbling on the surface when she spotted the cup of tea in her hands. She felt like tea was in her veins instead of blood sometimes.

She slid into the booth, sitting across her mother. She looked at her mother as she sipped her tea. Her dark hair was thinning and it was like looking at a faded photograph. It was the same person, but something had changed, something was different and she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hello Beca," The woman said, her voice betraying no emotion. She used to use that tone with her when it was time for a serious talking to, but she knew that it was her turn to get her serious talking to. In her daughter's mind, that was what she deserved.

She let a smile creep onto her lips, slightly pale. Beca thought that it was just a new shade of lipstick at first glance, but she realized that it had become the natural colour of her lips. She was losing her luster and that made her sadder than she thought it would.

"You look gorgeous Beca." She said and she had to bow her head down so that she couldn't look at her too closely. She wished she'd left her hair down just so she could hide her face. "I mean, you're so beautiful. I'm losing the glow and you're getting the glow. Talk about inheritance."

"I'm sorry about the ICCAs." She apologized. "I wanted to go see you, but I couldn't go on short notice. I saw a video of you and I thought you were brilliant though. Amazing as I thought you would be."

She considered saying something cold and harsh, but the disappointment took over. She'd wanted her mother to go to the ICCAs. She once had a life where she would be there at such a huge moment in her life, but that life didn't exist anymore.

A waitress came with their food and she realized she'd already ordered for her. A club sandwich with fries and a rootbeer float. She thought about the times again, those times that she'd stashed away. They seemed so far away even if that must have been only a year ago.

The booth was filled with silence for a moment. She filled it with her questions and she filled it with vague answers. Beca picked at her fries, waiting for the right words to form on her tongue even if they'd been there all along.

"Why did you let me leave?" She asked that question that had haunted her for months. Her mother had told her she'd pay for LA, that it was good for her to follow her dreams. And yet, she'd let her father make her go to college and it was just a knife in the back. The wound wouldn't heal and she felt the pain every single day.

"I'm here because I want to explain." She said, answering one of her unsaid questions. She looked down and Beca saw that her mother looked like she was going to cry, something she hadn't remembered seeing since her and her father got divorced. It broke her heart to see a strong woman break.

"I'm sorry." Her mother's voice quivered and tears began to fall from her eyes. "I wanted what was best for you Beca. I was so afraid to tell you, I was such a coward and I still am a coward, but it's time for me to say it now. We're both strong enough."

Beca was confused by her mother's words. And then it all just clicked in her mind, all of it. She looked at her mother as her lips formed the words and when she held her mother's hand, she cried like she never cried before.

He searched for her everywhere, in the quad, in the station. Hell, he even looked in the library. So when he knocked on her dorm, he prayed he would find her there because that was pretty much his last hope. "Hey, Beca?" He said and continued to knock.

He let out a small sound of frustration when Kimmy Jin opened the door. Her face was serious and blank as usual, betraying nothing. "Kimmy Jin, have you seen Beca around?" He said and when she looked puzzled, he knew that he was not going to like her answer.

"No, she hasn't been here in three days; I thought she was with you." She said and he felt even more determined to find her. Yes, he'd left her a hundred messages and yes, he'd searched for her everywhere, but he wasn't done yet. "I'll tell her to call you if she comes back."

"Alright, thanks Kimmy Jin." He said and she shut the door. He let out a deep breath before running a hand through his hair. He thought of her and where exactly she would be. He knew it wouldn't be easy to find her because nothing about her was easy, but he could try his best.

His phone rang in his pocket. He looked at the message and felt the corners of his lips turn up into a smile. It was pretty easy after all.

He grabbed a juice pouch before going out to see her, knowing that it would be a wise decision. No matter what mood she would be in, she would appreciate the juice pouch. It was something unsaid, but it was something that his instincts just told him to do.

He did a once over when he saw where she had led him to. It was a playground, an old one in her father's neighborhood. It seemed as if there were no children there. He heard no small voices laughing, no chanting of nursery rhymes done by little children.

He looked at the playground. It was a little worn, but it was still a playground complete with the seesaw and the slide and everything. It was complete with her two, sitting on the swing set with a bottle of Heineken in hand.

She knew he was there, but she didn't react. She heard the twigs snap beneath his feet, but she just continued to gently swing back and forth. He sat in the swing beside her own, but she still didn't look at him. She wasn't ready to look at him yet.

But he looked at her and saw her so vulnerable and broken. He saw the tear tracks on her cheeks and he knew it wasn't okay because she hadn't even bothered to erase them. Her face was puffy and she looked like she hadn't eaten properly since he'd last seen her which was true.

"Well, hello there little girl," He joked, not getting a laugh but a smile from her. That was enough to reassure him. Seeing her smile made things okay, it made life better. "How about you give me that bottle of beer and I give you this juice pouch?"

She looked at his hands and saw the Capri Sun. She took it from him and gave him her Heineken. She would have been glad that the drinking was over if she wasn't so numb. She was so numb, but still she felt the pain shoot through her at random times.

She licked her lips, trying to find words to say as she poked the juice pouch with her straw. "J-Jesse?" She said before successfully getting the straw in. He set the half empty bottle on the ground and looked at her again. "I have no idea what I'm doing here. I have no idea what I'm doing at all."

She sipped through her straw, letting silence fill the air again. It was comfortable, the silence between them. He didn't rush and neither did she. They both waited until she was alright, until she found the will to continue and let the words come out of her mouth again.

"My mom has cancer."

The moment the words escaped her mouth, she had to close her eyes just to stop the tears from escaping. She laughed a little without the humour and shook her head. "I thought she abandoned me, but what she wanted was the best for me. I get that now." She told him.

"I don't think it's fair though," She said a little slower. "That I'm going to be stuck with my father and Sheila, but the one person who didn't abandon me when my own father did is sick and is going to die. It's just not fair. Why isn't it ever fair?"

"Why does this have to happen?" She said in a voice no louder than a whisper. Her voice was carried by the wind as she covered her eyes with her hand, not giving two shits if he saw her cry. It didn't matter to her anymore. None of it really mattered to her anymore.

The silence came back and before he knew it, she was up and brushing the dirt off of her jeans. She threw the juice pouch in a trash can nearby and looked at him, a smile plastered onto her face, deciding that he had nothing to say and they could talk another day. "Thanks for checking on me." She said before starting to walk away.

"Beca wait!" He said and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her in until he was embracing her, her head buried in his chest where she cried and sobbed her heart out. She cried and she felt all the pain and all her sorrow and he knew it was too much for her to bear.

He stroked her hair and calmed her, knowing that he had to give her time. "I'm not going to abandon you." He whispered and she held her even tighter, as tight as her body would allow. "I'm not like everyone else, I'm not going to leave you. I love you."

She felt herself smile at his words and she let herself say the words back to him. "I love you too." And things just felt a little better knowing that at least those two things stood true.

"I can't promise you things will be okay." He said. "But I can promise you that I'll be here for you every single day, tending to your wounds."

She let herself cry, she let herself pour her soul out to him. And she knew that while he could not promise that things would be okay, she could promise herself that things would be alright.

"Mom, are you awake?" She said as a smile spread across her lips. She sat by her bedside, smiling despite all of it. She was turning into an eternal optimist and he was the only one to blame. She didn't hate it though. She thought it wasn't all that bad really.

She coughed into her hand and smiled as she opened her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at the handsome man beside her daughter. "So this must be Jesse then." She said and her smile grew even wider. "I'm Claire, Beca's mom. Beca tells me you're an amazing singer and a nice guy. Not to mention good in-"

"Mom!" Beca cut in earning a wink from Jesse.

And she realized it was worth it. It was worth all the pain in the world. Her mother and Jesse and the Bellas and even her father were worth all the pain in the world. She didn't need the black hole to suck it all out anymore.

She had something so much better. A heart to feel.

Oh dear, I think I cried while writing this, I can't be too sure. Sorry if I'm a bit rusty, I haven't written in a while. It honestly took me around 5 tries to get this just right and about 3 different plots to get to where I wanted to be. I want to apologize as well for that small Bohemian Rhapsody reference I did in there which I did not even know I put until I read this. It's… 4 AM and I was just determined to write this so please don't mind the fact that some grammar or spelling mistakes have been committed. Please point them out so I can correct them when I edit this later. So R&R as usual guys. I hope you guys missed me and I just want you to know I actually missed you guys too.

Xx Lecxi