It was late afternoon when they finally got to see Nick. Murray followed close on the heels of Cody and Melba as they entered his room. Nick was lying in the hospital bed, his eyes closed, with lots of equipment beeping softly all around. Vivid bruises stood out in stark contrast to his pale skin and the sheets. He looked like he'd been in run over by a train…and Murray felt like he'd been driving the locomotive.
His behavior and treatment of Nick since the previous evening was a torment unlike any Murray had ever experienced. He had many regrets in his life, but few could compare to the levels of hell he'd been through since seeing Nick's unmoving body. After Nick had jumped in front of a bullet meant for Murray. After Murray had treated him like something that needed to be wiped off the bottom of his shoe.
While they were waiting on the doctor, Melba had confirmed everything Nick said about their meeting at the helipad. And everything Murray'd figured out on the boat.
After locating and interviewing the family of the woman who'd actually written the original programming credited to Hubie Zaltash (and obtained her notebooks and journals confirming her work), BaBa had tried over and over to interview Hubie, to give him a chance to comment or refute…but he'd completely refused. She'd hoped that Murray's introduction might carry some weight, but after reading BaBa's article, Murray doubted that he would have had any luck either. And the recent phone call from his former mentor had likely been an attempt to get Murray's assist in finding and quashing the article after the bad guys realized that BaBa didn't have it on hand when they kidnapped her.
Late the previous afternoon, she'd been notified by a sympathetic contact at FathomLight that company management was coming after her, and she'd hit the bricks to find some place safe for herself and the article until it got accepted by the publisher. She said she was unaware that Nick was at the helipad when the cab dropped her off, and she'd planned to hide the disc on the helicopter and leave on foot. Which was exactly what she did…except that Nick was along trying to help.
After the bad guys jumped them and kidnapped her in the alley, they'd confirmed that they'd been following her for a few days. Surveillance was conducted by long range lenses, personal observation, and bugs in her hotel room, and they'd gloated that they'd dropped a tracking device in her bag when she was standing in line for coffee. It only took a short while to verify that Melba Bozinsky had very damaging information that was ready for publication. All of which led to her flight, Nick's beating, Melba's kidnapping, and everything that followed. And ended with Nick in the hospital and Murray feeling like the worst friend in the solar system.
Cody went to the far side of the bed and glanced worriedly at the monitors before picking up Nick's limp hand. "Buddy? You awake?"
Nick's breathing hitched, and his face tightened slightly as he struggled to get his eyes open. They fluttered a few times before his gaze drifted vacantly around the room, still trying to wake up.
With an encouraging smile, Cody squeezed Nick's hand, "Hey."
Nick's eyes eventually tracked over to Cody and held steady. "Hey." His voice was a breath.
"How you feeling?"
"Like…I been in a fight…with Mean Mick. How 'bout you?"
Cody fought a bigger grin. "Not quite that bad. Look who's here."
BaBa leaned over to kiss Nick's forehead. "You look like something the cat dragged in."
Nick fought sleep and tried for a smile, "Hey…this is my macho Conan look…don't ruin it for me."
She smiled and fingered his hair. "Never. Never ever. Next time I need rescuing, you're the first guy I'm calling."
Nick winced slightly and worked on a swallow, "Yeah, well…ya know…I'll do anything for…for repeat business."
She shifted slightly and kissed him gently on the lips.
That got his eyes open again, "That's…pretty good…incentive, too."
She grinned softly and then made room for Murray. Even though he wished she would stay right where she was. Not that he was avoiding what he had to do, but he wanted to make sure he had his self-control in place and knew exactly what to say…
And then he was beside Nick. And his mouth felt like sand-paper. And every syllable he'd previously considered flew completely out of his head.
Nick looked up at him, not trying to avoid or delay what had to be done. No matter what, Nick faced what had to be dealt with. Seemed like Murray would have remembered that. Especially after Cody tried to remind him.
Murray met his best friend's gaze and saw regret and grief. And Murray couldn't let this continue.
"Nick, I— I don't know how to say this. When I found out BaBa had been taken, I… I panicked, and I—Murray swallowed past the huge lump in his throat and fingered the blanket on Nick's bed. He could no longer meet Nick's earnest, sorrow heavy eyes. "I just… It was easier to blame you. I lost my perspective, and I needed someone to be at fault—someone who wasn't my sister who'd avoided me. Who'd been kidnapped. I-I-I know you did everything you could to save her, but I just— I lost my head, Nick, and I couldn't… You see, it had to be someone, and BaBa wasn't here. Neither were the guys who were responsible for the whole mess, but…you were a handy scapegoat. And I just…I just—"
Murray glanced up to see how Nick was taking his pathetic explanation…and found him unconscious again. Murray should have known that this wasn't the time to unburden himself and apologize, but he'd just needed to get rid of this weight so badly. He pulled in a deep breath and tried to contain the tears that wanted to spill over again. BaBa wrapped her arms around him from behind.
Murray pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes to stop the waterworks. "I should have waited till he's better. This isn't the time."
Across the bed, Cody pulled up a chair, never once letting go of Nick's hand. "He might have heard a little of it, Boz. Maybe he's resting a little easier."
Murray examined Nick's bruised face. It was relatively tranquil, an expression not frequently found on the usually animated and occasionally volatile Italian. He sighed in defeat, remembering another attempted apology with a different outcome. "You think he just didn't want to hear me say I'm sorry?" But a small part of Murray's mind wondered if maybe Nick wouldn't accept this apology when it was eventually delivered. What if he threw it back in Murray's face?
Cody just smiled sympathetically.
Eight days later, the hospital finally discharged Nick, and Cody and Murray were on hand to drive him home while Melba organized a little celebration back on the Riptide.
It hadn't been an easy road. Two days after surgery, they'd received a call in the middle of the night that Nick had spiked a fever, prompting an over-the-speed-limit drive to the hospital and a little more work from Dr. O'Neal in the form of draining an abscess. Cody and Murray were close to panic, but O'Neal said he wasn't really surprised, and that this would just extend Nick's eventual recovery by a little bit if all proceeded as expected.
Nick ended up spending another couple of days in the ICU with a change in his antibiotics, but sure enough, after that little bump in the road, he improved dramatically and began to chafe at being stuck in the hospital. By the end of his stay, his doctors were glad to see the back of him, and even the nurses he'd previously charmed were starting to get a little peeved.
In the meantime back on the Riptide, Murray had turned somber and morose. In desperation, Cody had finally convinced Murray to take some easy cases. They'd done a few background checks for some of their regular business employers. And a couple of lawyers wanted them to confirm that sworn statements and alibis were actually physically possible based on geography and times that crimes were committed. Basically a lot of computer work, phone calls, and some running around. Cody probably could have managed most of it on his own, but Boz needed something to keep him busy. Because he continued to brood, and it was getting worse.
Melba's kidnapping and the recently published article had become a huge media storm. The resolution of the case with Nick's heroic act and very public airlift to the hospital had set off a swarm of reporters, trying to get the scoop that Melba already had. When all the revelations about FathomLight's misdeeds hit the press—Melba's kidnapping, Nick's shooting, and the Hubie Zaltash plagiarism and cover-up—it was even worse than when Murray announced that he was the new owner of King Harbor. And it wasn't just local coverage because this time a Fortune Five Hundred company was involved; people like Dan Rather and Jane Pauley were calling Melba for interviews. And if they couldn't get her, they'd occasionally settle for her famous brother or his one available business partner.
But Cody accepted the cases without Nick on board simply because Boz needed something to keep his genius brain from going in circles, working through endless possibilities for how the entire situation might have gone differently. Cody was tired of coming into the galley for breakfast to find that Boz had been up for hours but had forgotten to drink the coffee he'd made as he just sat and relived that terrible night over and over.
Melba had been a godsend, distracting the reporters with her movie star looks and bouncy personality. The camera loved her, and she quickly became a media darling. Cody wouldn't be at all surprised if she ended up with a new job out of the mess. He could just imagine her being an expert that was called for television commentary whenever some history making event occurred.
And when she wasn't managing reporters, she was working very hard to manage her brother. Since the story had broken, she'd been on the boat pretty much all day, every day, dealing with the press, responding to requests from other researchers, and propping up her brother's sagging spirits. A slew of new guys had appeared—including the off-duty cop who'd helped them on Mt. Hollywood—and Melba had dragged Murray and Cody along on some of her dates. And to Cody's satisfaction, she screwed up her new dates' names with the same frequency that she'd initially messed up his. These days, he was still 'Cory' for sentimental reasons alone. He was pretty sure about that anyway. Even though she still flirted with him shamelessly, he only laughed and teased her right back, knowing it was just her way and all in good fun. Mostly. Regardless, she was Murray's sister, and that was the end of the story.
And Murray played along, going wherever she suggested and pretending he was having a good time, but Cody and Melba could both see that his heart wasn't in it. Just as Cody frequently caught him in the morning, he and Melba had both noticed him staring off into space at the beach and fading out during conversations. Melba had apologized over and over for not coming to Boz in the first place, and he forgave her completely. But as Cody well knew, it was vastly easier to forgive someone else than to forgive yourself.
After Nick got out of the ICU, visiting hours were more relaxed, and when they weren't working or running around with Melba, Cody and Murray were usually at Nick's bedside. Well, Cody was at the bedside while Murray usually poked his head in and then went to the gift shop or the cafeteria to find something to make Nick's stay a little more pleasant. When he was in the room, Murray was quiet and hesitant, unable to settle down for more than a few minutes before he was up checking equipment or finding a nurse or heading downstairs again. Other than tripping over himself to make Nick comfortable and speed his recovery, Murray had otherwise withdrawn. He watched Nick like he expected him to explode, like he might lash out at any second.
With Cody, Nick was mostly the same as he'd been their whole lives together—wise-cracking, sarcastic, playing the dumb jock—but a little pensive. And though Nick was obviously trying to act the same with Boz, he continued to be cautious and reserved. Careful about what he said, how he said it. Checking for Murray's reaction after every statement or question.
Cody had no idea if Murray had tried to apologize again, but from the way they behaved with each other, it didn't seem likely. And it was wearing on both of them. Murray was becoming more tentative with each passing day, and Nick was starting to retreat—even from Cody. And all of it was making Cody frustrated as nothing he'd said to either of them made a dent in the ongoing tension. To his knowledge, the two of them had not yet raised the specter of Melba's kidnapping—at least not when Nick was conscious. It was like they were both afraid of it, worried about what would happen if they eventually brought it up.
Driving them all home from the hospital, Cody mulled over his options. The ride back had been pretty quiet, and the strain in the Jimmy was palpable. Finally, as they were passing Veteran's Park, he jerked the wheel into a parking space and turned off the engine. He looked over at Nick who stared back, a little alarmed at the unexpected stop.
"You okay to walk over to that bench?"
Nick glanced across the park. "Yeah?" Clearly not sure where Cody was going with this.
"Then let's go. The three of us have gotta talk this out."
Cody got out of the truck and jogged around to be on hand just in case Nick was over-estimating his stamina. The two of them started across the grass, and Cody aimed a significant look back at Murray. Who finally dragged himself out of the back seat and across to the bench in their wake.
At the bench, Nick eased down on one end, Murray plunked down on the other, so Cody ended up in the middle. Right where he'd been since the beginning of the whole mess. And they just sat for a few minutes, staring at the other visitors in the park.
Finally, Cody sighed, "Somebody say something."
Nick cleared his throat, "About what?"
"About the fact that you two are on pins and needles with each other. I don't see how we're gonna be able to work like this."
Murray let out a slow breath, "I've been thinking about that, Cody. I think it's time for me to move on."
Cody glanced at him, but Nick did a slow head turn and leaned forward slightly to stare at Murray in disbelief. "Why would you do that? I'm the one who screwed up. I'm the one gotta go."
Murray's face showed utter astonishment. "You did everything you could. I just ignored that fact and blamed you anyway. Nick, those guys beat you unconscious, and all I did was kick you when you were down."
"You had cause. She's your sister."
Cody stood up and moved out from between them.
"Yes, she's my sister; and you're my friend. And in every way but genetics, you're my brother, too. Geez, you stepped in front of a bullet for me. Who but you would do that?"
"Boz, I let her get kidnapped. I should've stopped them. We shouldn't even have been in that alley."
"Nick, BaBa put you in an impossible situation when she refused to come to me. It was her bad decision—not yours. And there were four guys in that alley. As good as you are, I wouldn't take odds on four against one, so I think you letting them take her is a little short of the facts. But when I was passing judgment and making accusations, I took none of that into account. I just disregarded any details and problems that didn't fit into the picture I needed to see. I ignored the fact that you love BaBa, too. I just struck out at the most convenient target. You."
"I get that, Boz."
"I don't see how. I don't get it!"
"I don't see how you can forgive me for letting her get taken in the first place."
Murray just shook his head miserably.
Cody folded his arms and cleared his throat. "So let me sum this up: Murray, you forgive Nick for not being able to save Melba from herself and four huge goons, and Nick, you forgive Murray for needing someone to blame.
"But Nick, you don't believe Murray can forgive you for letting Melba get kidnapped, and Boz, you don't think Nick can forgive you for having a completely normal reaction to that fact. Essentially, you can each clear the other of any wrong doing, but not your own selves. Is that about the size of it?"
Nick stared at the grass, and Murray pulled at a thread in the hem of his plaid shirt.
Cody held out his hands in supplication to them both. "Nick, buddy, I know it's been your life-long dream and all, but you're not Superman; you can't save everybody. And Boz, despite the genius brain and everything, you're not God. You're a human being like all the rest of us. With all the messy emotions that go along with that."
He sighed slightly, "You know, that first night at the hospital, I worried if our friendship would survive this. The agency, too, but mostly what the three of us have together. If you guys don't find a way to forgive yourselves for these obvious flaws in your characters, we won't make it."
Murray looked over, "Really, Nick, it wasn't your fault. You've gotta quit thinking that."
Nick stared back, "If you can forgive me, I mean really forgive me, then maybe I'll be able to." He slid a hand toward the middle of the bench, "But if you leave, I'll know deep down, you couldn't do it."
"Nick, I said such terrible things to you. I knew you were upset and hurt, but I just kept piling on more and more. It was cruel." Murray's nose got more red as he spoke.
Nick's outstretched palm bunched in a fist. "She's your sister. Not too many people in the world more important than that. Not even a good friend. And I was gonna be all right; her, we didn't know about. You freaked out, okay? I mean, come on. You think I didn't know that?"
Cody nodded, "That's right, Boz. He insisted I go with you that night because he knew how upset you were."
Murray squeezed his eyes shut and finally reached for Nick's hand. Nick returned the grasp as he fought his own tears for a few seconds. He tugged at their grip, "Come on, don't make me slide over there; my back's killing me."
In an instant, Murray and Cody were both helping him off the hard bench, and then the three of them wrapped each other in a hug, sealing their friendship and partnership once again.
After a long moment, they turned to walk back to the Jimmy, arm in arm with Nick in the middle, just in case. Once the three of them were back in the truck in their usual places, Cody looked over at Nick, "You okay?"
Nick nodded after consideration. "Yep." He glanced back at Murray, "You?"
Murray nodded as well, "Yeah."
Cody eyed them both. "And you never said 'sorry', did you?"
Nick's lips twitched.
Murray's shook his head briefly. "Some friendships are good enough, they don't need apologies."
Cody glanced back to see Nick's easy smile and then turned the key to head back to the boat.
End