A/N: I'm back! And I don't think the wait was as long this time. Progress? Well, this is the second to the last chapter. The next chapter is an epilogue. I've tweaked Esme's history a bit to suit my purposes, just so you know. I can't remember exactly what her canon story was, but I know it's not the same. So fair warning. Also, smut warning. It's not terribly graphic, but if you don't want to read it you can skip the final part of the chapter.

Thank you all for sticking with this story. I appreciate every single review (even if I can't respond) and thank everyone for your patience as I finish this. I know it's frustrating as a reader to have long gaps between updates, but I appreciate everyone understanding that as much as I enjoy writing my stories and plan to finish every single one, fanfiction just isn't a priority.

I hope you enjoy the new chapter and please let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: Freedom

'You're home, you're home, you're home,' Esme kept whispering into his ear. Edward smiled and held her closer.

'I'm home,' Edward said. He buried his face into her hair and smelled the calming scent that reminded him of home. In the years he'd known Esme, it wasn't until he'd left that he truly realised how much he looked at her as a mother-figure. She was a comfort in the house, the one he could go to when he wanted to discuss his frustrations. Carlisle was his father and sire, but Edward had always felt like he was on the cusp of disappointing him. He'd never worried about disappointing Esme because he knew she'd accept him no matter his decisions. Sure there had been moments of doubt, but in the end he knew she'd always love and listen to him.

He pulled away and looked back to Jasper. He was standing awkwardly on the steps of the porch, one hand still clasped in Edward's, and looking at Carlisle – who was doing his best to seem welcoming to the clearly battle-hardened man his son had brought home – with a wary smile.

'Hello, I'm Carlisle,' he said, holding his hand out to Jasper. Jasper automatically reached his hand out, only to be forced to let it fall back when he realised it was stuck in Edward's and wouldn't move.

The jerk of his hand brought Edward back to the situation. He laughed and went to stand next to Jasper. 'Carlisle, Esme, this is my mate, Jasper. Jasper, this is my family.'

'Pleased to meet you,' Jasper said, trying to recall his rusty manners.

Esme let out a joyful sound she'd never made before, then Jasper found him wrapped in her arms. She pulled away before he could make a move – not that he knew what he should have done – but her grin lit up her entire face.

'Welcome to the family, Jasper,' Carlisle said. 'Why don't you both come inside? Edward, we got your letter just this morning. Esme has already prepared your room and cleaned the whole house.'

'And your piano has been turned,' Esme added. Edward smiled gratefully. Leave it to Esme to know that had been foremost on his mind.

'Thank you, Esme. I've missed my piano almost as much I missed you both.'

'Well, you'll have to play for us once you're settled,' Esme said.

'I will,' Edward promised.

Carlisle and Esme walked into the house and Edward made to follow, but Jasper held him back. Edward turned to him and placed his hand on Jasper's jaw.

'What's wrong?' he asked.

Jasper's mind was a jumble of thoughts that Edward could barely catch. Finally one stuck out, and even though he still seemed unable to voice his thoughts and worries, Edward zeroed in on it, hoping it'd start Jasper talking.

'Yes, I play the piano. I thought I'd told you, I'm sorry if I didn't.'

Jasper was quiet for a moment longer, before he finally sighed and leaned his forehead on Edward's shoulder.

'We barely know each other,' he whispered. 'What they hell have we done? We barely know each other and now I've run away from all I've ever known.'

Edward froze and gently urged Jasper to lift his head. 'Do you regret leaving with me now?' he asked.

'No… I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling, I've never…' Jasper trailed off and again his mind was riddled with thoughts and emotions he'd never had to deal with before.

'Hey, listen to me. It's okay to be confused – hell, I'm confused and worried about this too. Yes, we still have a lot to learn about each other. But we'll do that. And now it's safe for us to get to know each other at our own pace. No psychotic murderess having control over your life, threatening you.'

Jasper smiled and that was the excuse Edward needed to swoop in and kiss him.

'I'm not sure I know how to be part of a family,' Jasper finally confessed. 'I haven't been part of a family since… and even then I preferred to be alone.'

'That's fine, Jasper. I'm not exactly a sociable person either. I'd much rather be alone, as well. So when you get overwhelmed, it's fine. But maybe we can go off and be alone together?'

Jasper nodded and backed away slightly. 'I am trying,' he stressed.

'I know you are,' Edward confirmed. 'I'm not worried about you at all. We have a lot of things to learn about each other. Even though we're mates we haven't had time to know each other as mates. The priority was getting you out of there. But now is our opportunity. And it'll take time.'

'I get angry, I'm mean. I don't want you to regret that I'm your mate,' Jasper said. Edward tried to contain his joy at hearing Jasper actually confess that they were mates, but it just solidified his decisions.

'I'm stubborn and can be controlling. When I get angry I stifle it until I explode. No one's perfect. But we'll figure it out together. Right?'

'Right,' Jasper said. Edward accepted the statement, even if there was a hint of uncertainty. Jasper's mind was still confused, but Edward was beginning to figure the thoughts out. So much had happened so quickly, and while Jasper was happy to be away from Maria and the life of pain and misery, it was all he'd known. He wanted the life Edward offered him, but he wasn't sure how to take it. He was terrified that the instincts trained into him since his vampiric birth would emerge and destroy this serenity. But Edward refused to let that happen. He knew that with time and patience, he'd become as much a part of their family as Esme.

With a final kiss, Edward took Jasper's hand back and drew him into the house.

xXx

Jasper wasn't sure if Carlisle or Esme liked him. They smiled at him, they spoke to him, but Jasper just didn't know if they liked him. Usually he'd use his ability to just read what they were feeling, but his own thoughts and emotions were so muddled that he couldn't get a clear reading from anyone.

Edward and Esme carried most of the conversation, with Carlisle interjecting. Jasper only spoke when asked a question. He spent most of the time just watching them interact.

He could barely remember his human family. The memories were more like flashes of faces, scents, and emotions. But what he could remember filled him with such a yearning and warmth. He'd buried those emotions long ago; but now, sitting pressed against Edward and watching him laugh as Esme told him story after story of what had been going on in his absence, Jasper could feel the same warmth.

He wasn't one to share his feelings with others, but he really wanted to be a part of this family. He wanted to be a good mate to Edward – even if he didn't know how to do that.

He just didn't want Edward to lose patience with him.

He looked down at his knee when Edward lightly squeezed it. It helped break him from his tumultuous thoughts – which must have been Edward's intentions – and let him concentrate on the conversation.

Until it turned to Edward's trip. Edward didn't say much about his time in Texas, which Jasper was thankful for. And Esme and Carlisle didn't push, seeming to sense that it was still a sore subject.

Instead, Edward told them about their happy meetings, like when he taught Jasper how to hunt animals.

'Did you know that some vampires choose to sustain themselves on animal blood rather than human blood,' Carlisle asked, kindly. Jasper could tell from the way he said it that Carlisle was genuinely curious but wouldn't push. That helped Jasper pick and choose what he said.

'All I was taught was human blood,' he confessed. 'M—there wasn't any other way as far as I knew.'

'You must have thought Edward was insane,' Esme said, laughing at Edward's disgruntled glare.

'I did for a bit,' Jasper said, finally feeling a smile slip on his face. 'I couldn't imagine why he would want to drink animal blood – and really it still doesn't taste as good as human blood to me. But I was intrigued that there was another option. That I didn't have to feel like…' he stopped talking when he realised what he was about to say. 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.'

'It is fine, Jasper,' Carlisle said. 'All of us have a past and we don't judge you for yours. I don't know your story, but you seem to have survived brilliantly through some very tough times.'

Jasper looked down at his arms and studied the bite marks. They were an ever-present reminder of the pain and horror of his life. Before he'd thought they were a penitence for his crimes, but now, perhaps, they could be worn with pride: the scars of a survivor.

'He's wonderful,' Edward said, nodding in agreement with Carlisle's words. 'I'll forever be in awe of his determination and happy that I found him.'

Esme clapped her hands and Jasper just knew that if she could produce tears she'd be crying from happiness. Even Carlisle smiled at him. And when Edward put his arm around his shoulder, Jasper somehow knew that everything would turn out okay.

xXx

The first few days were stressful for Jasper. Their bedroom was wonderful and Jasper found himself going there several times a day just for the privacy and to know that he had a space of his own. Edward respected his privacy and somehow just seemed to know when he should follow Jasper into the room and when he should leave him alone.

When he left him alone, Edward would play the piano for him. It was something Jasper had grown to love. Many times as soon as Edward would start to play, Jasper would feel himself drawn out of the room and into the living room. He loved to watch Edward play. Peace would fall over his face and he'd lose himself in the moment. It gave Jasper free-range to study Edward as much as he wanted.

Edward was beautiful, and Jasper had never really taken the time to fully realise that. His shock of penny-red hair contrasted with his pale skin, and many times just staring at Edward could make Jasper heat up with arousal.

They'd both agreed that it was too soon to act on their physical desires, but that didn't stop Jasper from thinking about it. And, as a positive side effect, he'd found a great benefit of Edward's mind reading.

Nothing was more enjoyable that making Edward flustered and causing the pianist to play a false note. Edward pretend to get mad, but from the heated glances sent his way Jasper never believed him.

xXx

Jasper returned from a hunting trip only to find the house empty. Esme was on the back porch reading a book and looking at the sea. For the first time Jasper found himself alone without Edward as a buffer. Jasper debated what to do. His first thought was to go into his room and stay there until Edward returned. But a smaller part of him – the part he knew he had to follow – wanted to take advantage of the alone time and get to know Esme better.

Following the small desire, he led himself onto the back porch and sat in the seat opposite Esme. The moment he came into view she set aside her book and smiled up at him.

'Hello, Jasper.'

'Hello, Esme. Where are Edward and Carlisle?'

'Carlisle took him down to the hospital to see about getting him a job.'

That brought Jasper up short. He'd never thought about jobs or money. He hadn't had a job since being a human, and even that was farm work more than anything else.

'S-should I get a job?' he asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. He wanted to contribute to the family and didn't want it to seem like their hospitality was being taken advantage of, but he didn't know what he could possible do.

'Only if you want to, dear. But it might be best to wait until you have better control over your bloodlust. You're doing well so far and I'm amazed that you can go hunting by yourself now, but we don't want to make you feel uncomfortable.'

'I just don't want anyone to think I'm not doing my part.'

Esme placed her hand on Jasper's knee and he was amazed at how that simple action calmed him down and assured him. Esme had the same effect on him as Edward. Sometimes he felt like nothing could hurt him when they were around. Even Carlisle assured him with his strong, steady silence. He tended to let his wife dominate the conversation, but when Carlisle spoke, people listened. Jasper found himself looking to Carlisle for cues on how to act in each situation. He was amazed at how easily he had been integrated into the unusual family.

'You being here has made Edward happier than I have ever seen him. As long as you keep that smile on my boy's face you can do whatever you want and you'll be welcomed.'

Jasper looked away. He was sure that if he could blush he would be, but there was still one large thing weighing on his mind.

'I'm afraid you'll change your mind once you know who I am,' he confessed quietly.

'And who are you?'

'I'm a monster,' Jasper said, after a time. He turned to look at Esme and for the first time he let her see who he truly was. 'I've killed, I was trained by a monster to murder people. To force others to murder. Until I met Edward I didn't know any other way. I'm a soldier, a General, in a war fought for the sole purpose of killing off others you don't like. I've hated, I've tortured, I've killed. I'm the worst possible person you could want for Edward. But he's so blinded to who I really am.'

Esme listened carefully as he vented. Once he was done she stood up and knelt in front of him, holding both of his hands on his lap.

'Edward's not blinded,' Esme said. 'He hasn't said anything about you to me, but he's hinted. And your scars tell a story, as well. He knows what you are. But where you see a monster, he sees someone raised to believe something that was false, someone who turned from that once they learned that there was something better. He sees who you are, not what you've done. And Carlisle and I do, as well. Whatever you've done, Jasper, whoever you were, that's in the past. You are prefect for Edward. You ground him, you make him smile. In exchange, he will heal you.'

'How can you be so sure?' Jasper ask, desperate for an answer. This was the final piece of the puzzle; what had been holding him back from fully imagining this life with Edward.

'The two of us are not so different,' Esme said. 'Carlisle found me after I'd tried to commit suicide. I had a lover and soon after we met I found out I was pregnant. I was so ashamed of myself. I never told my lover and left him soon after. I denied it to myself until I couldn't deny it any longer. And then I hated the child. I never thought about trying to get rid of it, but I didn't take care of myself as I should, I resented that it existed, and several times I wished it was dead. It wasn't until the final weeks of my pregnancy that I started to warm up to the idea.

'I went into labour and my daughter was born on November twelfth. It was a Saturday, and sunny. But only minutes after she was born the doctor came in and said she had been stillborn.' Esme stopped her story and looked down at her hands. The sadness on her face was so plain that Jasper could almost believe tears were falling from her eyes. 'I felt so guilty,' Esme whispered. 'I thought it was my fault. I hadn't take care of her, it was my fault she hadn't developed properly. I'd hated her. I didn't want to live with myself. I was a monster,' she said, purposefully echoing Jasper's words.

Jasper protested, but Esme stopped him with a raise of her hand. 'I don't think that now, because I've forgiven myself and I've grieved. But back then, I thought my only escape from the pain was the die. So I took my daughter and buried her. And then I went to the cliff and jumped. Carlisle was the doctor who treated me after I was found. He'd treated me when I was younger and recognised me. I guess he felt a pull towards me because once he realised it was hopeless to try to save me, he turned me.

'And then he showed me that I wasn't a monster. That I could be something other than my mistakes. I'll be forever gratefully for him coming into my life and showing me what I missed. Let Edward do the same for you.'

'You're not a monster,' Jasper repeated.

Esme smiled and kissed his cheek before she stood. 'And neither are you,' she said. She left the porch and let Jasper mull over her words.

Two hours later when Edward returned that's where he found him, staring off at the sea. Edward wiggled his way into the remaining space on the chair and wrapped his arms around Jasper's body.

'How was your day?' Jasper asked after they'd spent several minutes in silence.

'It was good. You're look at Dr Edward Cullen, the newest general practitioner of Jonesport Hospital.'

'Well, congratulations, Doctor.' Jasper was shocked at the growl that came from Edward, but when he realised that it was from arousal rather than anger, he smiled and hesitantly kissed Edward.

'And your day?' Edward asked after the ended their kiss.

'It was good. I went hunting and then spoke to Esme. She told me about herself. We-we're not so different, I think.'

'You're not,' Edward agreed. 'You're both kind, strong souls who have overcome terrible things and come out the other end wonderful people. I knew that you two would connect.'

'She's very nice.'

'She is.'

'And Carlisle, too. He always seems so calm and in control.'

'I don't know how he does it, honestly. I'd love to be like him some day, but I just don't have the temperament. Carlisle is so giving and caring, but he's also strong and confident. He can be relied on to solve any problem. I admire that about him.'

Jasper hummed and leaned back in Edward's arms. 'Funny, that's how I see you. I guess you and Carlisle are just as similar as Esme and I.'

They didn't say much for the rest of the night, but they didn't need to. They watched the sunrise over the sea, taking comfort in the embrace of the other. Jasper's thoughts were sorting themselves out as he thought over his conversation with Esme. Maybe she was right. Maybe he wasn't broken. He already felt better in the few weeks they'd been there. Maybe, just maybe, with Edward's help he would heal.

xXx

Three months after they'd arrived in Maine, Jasper found himself doing his favourite thing: teasing Edward.

Esme and Carlisle were having a 'date night' at a resort several towns away in an attempt to give the two men some much needed alone time. Edward was playing Liszt and Jasper found himself caught up in watching those dexterous fingers fly across the keys. It was when he started to imagine what Edward could do with those fingers that Jasper got into trouble.

He could almost see those slim fingers wrapped around his hard shaft, pulling and pushing him towards completion. Then his fingers would reach down and cup his balls, trailing back to brush along the cleft of his ass. Just as Jasper's imaginary-Edward's finger was breeching the checks, the music surrounding him stopped.

Jasper looked at Edward with a smirk. The vampire was ram-rod straight on the piano bench, glaring that the keys.

Are you all right? Jasper thought, knowing the answer.

Edward's eyes shot up and Jasper grin almost slipped off his face when he saw the pitch black eyes of his mate. He'd never seen them so dark, and his stomach tensed with the thought that he had caused it.

You're beautiful when you play, Jasper thought. My body feels like it's on fire when you look at me like that.

Jasper had barely finished the thought when Edward was in front of him, pressing him against the couch cushions.

'There have been the hardest two weeks of my life,' Edward rasped. 'I want you so much, I have since I first saw you.'

Jasper plunged his hands into Edward's hair and pulled him down so their lips met in a fiery kiss. Edward responded immediately, coaxing Jasper's mouth open so his tongue could sweep inside. Jasper dropped his hands to Edward's waist and pulled them flush together, their jean-clad erections grinding against each other.

In the three months they'd been there, Jasper had grown more confident in his relationship with Edward. There were still times he reverted back to insecurity and worry, but Edward showed him daily that he loved Jasper and was committed to him. And Jasper was willing to let himself go and trust Edward and what they had.

When the kiss broke, Jasper angled his head so he could look into Edward's eyes. 'You have me, Edward. I know I'm still adjusting to this, but these few months… fuck, they've been the best of my life. I don't think I could thank you enough for all you did to get me out of there.'

Edward just responded by kissing him deeply. Jasper's hands wandered over Edward's hips and then around to grab his ass and pull him as close as he could. Without words, they both seemed to have reached a silent agreement that they were going further than they had before. Edward reached up underneath Jasper's shirt and his fingers brushed over a nipple, drawing a deep moan from Jasper. They pulled back from each other and each removed their own shirts and after a bit of manoeuvring managed to remove their trousers as well until only the thin material of their underwear was left between them.

Once their clothes were removed they were back together, lips and hands exploring every inch of skin they could reach. It was the best feeling Jasper had ever had, and there weren't enough words to describe how it felt to be touched with love rather than anger and hate.

Jasper gasped when Edward's hand dropped to pull his underwear down and run his fingers along the length of his erection. It felt better than his fantasies, and Jasper quickly pushed down Edward's remaining garment to return the favour. Soon, Jasper was lying along the length of the couch with Edward hovering above him. Both of their hands worked together to pleasure the other. Too soon, Jasper was gasping out Edward's name and coming across their stomachs. He managed to keep up his ministrations and a few pumps later, Edward was following.

Edward collapsed on top of Jasper, and Jasper used his remaining strength to wrap his arms around Edward's waist.

'That was fucking brilliant,' Edward rasped out. Jasper laughed at Edward's words – the prim and proper vampire rarely swore, and Jasper always found great joy whenever he did. It was like a thrill of excitement shot through him every time some crude word would come out of that picture-perfect mouth.

'Fucking brilliant,' Jasper agreed. His thumb brushed the small of Edward's back. When Edward shuddered in pleasure he grew bolder with his exploration and let the thumb travel deeper until he dragged his fingers softly along the crevice of Edward's ass. Edward arched towards him in response and Jasper found himself fascinated in watching Edward's face. Small gasps came out from between his parted lips, bruised from their frantic kissing, and his eyes were closed, quivering with each arch of his body.

Jasper's erection was quickly growing, and soon they were brushing together. Edward took both of their cocks in his hands and Jasper continued to let his fingers dip into the crack of Edward's ass. Soon they were both releasing again, gasping into each other's mouths.

'I love you,' Edward whispered against his lips. It wasn't the first time he'd said it, but it was the first time it had truly struck Jasper deep in his core.

Because it was the first time he felt he could return the feelings.

'I love you too,' he whispered back.

A/N: What do you think? Please let me know if a review. Even if I don't get a chance to respond I do read every one of them and greatly appreciate them. They make my day. The Epilogue is going to be several years in the future.

Thanks for reading! ~A.J. Kelly