Author's Note: Yes, it's been a very long time since I've updated. I won't bore you with the details of my personal and professional life, but I'm still around and still writing (and expanding my horizons – see my new Persona 4 stories if you're interested).
Chapter 9: The Weary and the Wicked
Rinoa sat in her living room, legs curled up beneath her, her eyes scanning the book in her lap. Squall had gone to bed hours earlier but she was too anxious to lie at his side, pretending to sleep as she usually did. The apartment had grown much quieter over the last day, with Jessa and Tracker now back home with their parents next door. The two toddlers had been there only a couple days, but already the apartment seemed cavernous and empty without the sounds of little children playing, screaming, and doing all that little children did.
That thought made Rinoa's heart ache a little. In the time since her rebirth as a Guardian Force, Rinoa had learned more and more about the limitations of her new body. Her friends had all worked on their plan to bring her back to life, to save her from having to exist as an immaterial specter only to see and be seen, hear and be heard, but not to touch or be touched. They had hoped Quistis's power, with Doctor Kadowaki's help, would have been enough for her to live life as a human being just as she was before she died. As she had begun to accustom herself to her new life Rinoa had, for a time, clung to the thread of hope that one day she could become a mother again, and not just a mother figure, but to actually feel her child growing within her. It was a feeling she could never have described, and yet while she was having it, it was one she never thought she could have missed.
In time, she'd come to accept that it was impossible. While her body had human form, her appearance was only a shell covering a being of pure magical energy congealed into a form of matter. She had no internal organs, nothing to really differentiate her head from her hands or her feet. If she chose to, she could look out her toes as she walked and gain a mouse's eye view on the world. However, she had chosen to take the risk in permanently possessing this body so she could walk, talk, live, and feel like a normal human being. That was why she always kept her form human, only performing extraordinary feats when she needed to stretch her proverbial legs, or when such acts of power were truly needed.
She had managed to set up some automatic functions in her body, such as simulated heartbeat and breathing, and over the years had perfected them such that her breath was actually warm and smelled like it was coming from a human's lungs when she exhaled. She'd even managed to make certain spots on her body, wherever there should have been a detectable artery, pulse in time with her false heartbeat. Now they ran without her intervention, and stopped only when she willed them to, or, as she'd recently learned, when she was nearly drained of energy. But the one thing she could never do again, the one thing she found herself missing more and more, was the ability to become pregnant, to carry a child to term within her belly, and to bring that child into the world through her own pain, sweat, blood, and tears.
She didn't miss all parts of pregnancy. The morning sickness, the swollen feet, the constant bloated feeling and sore back, all of them were things she remembered – not hating, but disliking, when she was pregnant with Alexa. But the feeling that she was carrying a new life within her, that the new life would be born as a darling baby, then a rambunctious toddler, and then…
It made her sad sometimes. At those times she would think about Jett, her son who had died with her. She sometimes found herself wishing that she had held onto him more tightly in the Crossroad, while he was being pulled toward the Afterlife as she remained tethered to the Crossroad. And then she'd stop wishing. When Jett was pulled from her, she felt a great love coming from the place to which he was being drawn. She had already accepted that it was her time and, at that moment, had so desperately wanted to go to that place with him. She wasn't able to. Jett was pulled from her arms and disappeared into the light. The light had then vanished, closing itself off to her and leaving her stranded in the Crossroad, but her son had gone on to eternal joy. Of all the tragedy that had come that day, it was one very good thing that had happened.
Once in a great while, she still wished she had been able to follow him.
There were also times, few and far between, where she resented Quistis for holding so tightly to her, even though she knew Quistis hadn't done it on purpose. Then she'd remember the great burden under which she'd placed Quistis and let her resentment wash away in the stream of her mind. All that had happened was done, and all they had was the future.
Unfortunately, that future wasn't looking too bright at the moment. Rinoa and Quistis had been both splashed across the news, this time with their names attached to the blurry forms captured by the news cameras at Lunatic Pandora. She wasn't as worried for her own future as for Squall's, Alexa's, and Jarod's. Rinoa's status as a Sorceress had never become widely known when she was alive, despite the critical role it had played in the defeat of Ultimecia and the ending of Time Compression. She had made up the story of her powers being sealed up within her so she could spare her friends the need to lie for her or protect her, and that had been good enough. Even after she died and had returned as a spirit, she had appeared and even taught classes in her spectral form for a time, but somehow that information had not become widely known either. Perhaps claims of a ghost teacher at Balamb Garden had been dismissed as one of the many crazy stories told about the mysterious inner workings of SeeD. It seemed to her that no matter what strange occurrences people had seen, from evil Sorceresses from the future to monsters crashing to earth from the moon, there were still limits to what people would allow themselves to believe.
This time, though, she had been caught outside Garden's protective walls and regulations, and had been caught on camera using their powers to their fullest, to a degree which even they had not thought possible.
The merging of two "Sorceresses" into one all-powerful being. In a show of her own example of humankind's self-denial, Rinoa still had a difficult time wrapping her mind around that. At first she'd wondered if it had just been a dream, that she and Quistis had instead been so in sync with each other that it just felt like they became one person. The news coverage had proven that theory wrong. She'd seen the footage of the woman of light, golden hair flying and white wings stretched as far as one could imagine, not long after she'd awoken from the resulting "coma". Part of her still couldn't accept that part of that being had been her, that she had utterly destroyed a gigantic monster that had so easily trounced an entire army, the most powerful members of SeeD, and both herself and Quistis.
Yet that did not trouble her as much now as it had at the time. There had been so many things she'd had to get over throughout her existence: losing her mother to a car accident when she was 5 years old, losing her father to his work and becoming more of an afterthought to him than a daughter, trying and failing to kidnap Galbadian President Vinzer Deling. She had been hypnotized and nearly killed by Edea and became a Sorceress when she helped defeat Edea. Ultimecia used her comatose body to call forth a premature Lunar Cry and bring Adel back to the planet, and then she helped defeat Ultimecia and became an international hero.
She lost her old friend and longtime companion Angelo to canine lymphoma. And then she lost her son...
If she had survived, she may have lost herself to despair. As it was, dying had given her a much greater capacity to cope with loss, even if the pain never truly left her. At least, when it was all done, she'd had a new anonymity that allowed her to devote her time to her family and her friends. That all was changing now. Not only did the same world that had once celebrated her actions know she was alive, but the rumors had spread like wildfire that she was indeed a Sorceress. Would she be able to cope with this as well, or would it follow her and her family for the rest of their days? Indeed, despite most of the problems of her past, none of them had become public to this great a degree. Her friends easily forgave and forgot, but would the world forget? Would it let them live their lives, or would they be forever swarmed by people that were fascinated by her, and attacked by those who hated and feared her?
Alexa had crawled back into her shell since Squall broke this news to them. While she wasn't really sulking, she barely spoke and did little outside her bedroom each day. Rinoa had seriously considered cancelling the rest of Alexa's vacation so she could go back to class and do more than think about the kind of future that lay ahead for her, now that the world "knew" her mother was a Sorceress. Squall had been against it, though he was determined to do whatever he could to get the family's minds off this problem. Rinoa knew it was fruitless. The problem was all of theirs, and ignoring it and allowing Squall to take it all onto his shoulders, like he always did, would do nothing to alleviate it.
As for Jarod, she sometimes wondered if he regretted having been adopted by such an unusual family. He never showed anything to make them suspect those were his feelings, and indeed he seemed to be the most well-adjusted to the news than any of the rest of them. Of course, the lockdown meant that he couldn't return to school even if they did cancel their vacation, and he had always seemed to enjoy school. He had grown into a more open personality the longer he had lived with them, far removed from the reserved, shy boy they had adopted from Edea's orphanage only five years ago. Perhaps, moreso then they were, he was certain everything would turn out all right. Or, maybe he just didn't understand the ramifications of it all. Before they adopted him he already knew that Rinoa had been the Sorceress, that she had died and returned as a Guardian Force, and that Quistis, the new Sorceress, had made it happen.
Maybe, just maybe, his spending time outside the walls of Garden gave him an insight into life that those inside it didn't have. Then again, Selphie had always been cheerful, and Zell, and Gelessa…
She put down her book. She hadn't been concentrating on it and had read the same sentence over a dozen times. As she did so she felt a presence, as if she were being watched. It seemed a bit like that feeling she got when someone she knew was behind her, and she could always identify who it was by the feeling alone. This was different. Cold. Resentful. Malicious. Distant, almost unknowable.
Yet as soon as she'd felt it, it was gone. She stretched out her mind, searching, but all she could feel was her family asleep in the other rooms of the apartment. Quistis' family was asleep in the next apartment over, and a couple students were roaming the corridors. Nobody else.
Fithos. Lusec.
Had it been her imagination? The lights were all out in the apartment except for her small reading lamp. Had she just gotten a case of the creeps? Ever since they defeated Ultimecia she'd never gotten the creeps again. Through her powers she'd always known full well what was in the shadows, and it was either the nothingness that had been there when the lights had gone out, or it had been a monster watching her. Such was not uncommon when wandering outdoors at night, but she'd been easily able to detect its presence, its nature, and its intentions. Not that she had anything to fear from monsters anyway. This was something else…something that was either all in her head, or something that knew she'd felt it and instantly hid itself from her.
Wecos. Vinosec.
No, that was impossible. Even if there was an unknown presence, she couldn't imagine how it could hide itself from her. Her senses were too sharp for that. She rubbed her eyes habitually. What she needed was a nice walk. Not one of the disembodied experiences she usually took when pretending to sleep, where she let her mind wander across Garden while her body went into hibernation. No, a good old-fashioned walk was just what she needed to clear her head. Maybe the Secret Area over the Training Center was open, and she could get some nice fresh air. Maybe she could even catch a glimpse of the reporters camped outside.
She gave a small grin. Maybe she could pull a prank or two on them without them seeing her, and scare them away. She'd heard on the news that Galbadia Garden had managed to take off the previous afternoon and leave the reporters behind. Maybe she could fly away herself and leave them behind if just for a little while. Her smile sustaining her momentary peace of mind, she walked to the door, slipped on a pair of walking shoes, and stepped through into the dimmed corridor beyond.
VVVVVVVVVV
The entity watched as Rinoa walked out of the apartment. Once it had realized Rinoa sensed it, it had moved to the back corner of the kitchen, bathing itself inside the aura of Rinoa's whelp, whose bed was just on the other side of the wall. The feel of it disgusted her even worse than Rinoa's existence did.
Despite its hate for such a waste of magical power, the entity found Rinoa to be a curious creature. She was perhaps the second most powerful being on the planet, with the ability to withstand practically anything, and yet she bothered with clothing. Why waste time putting on shoes when her "skin" was practically invulnerable? Why waste time with clothes if she could never become hot or cold? For that matter, why bother with a human form at all? Why not a giant beast, or a tiny moogle?
The entity knew the answer right away. The monstrosity wanted to live among humans, and to pretend that she was still one of them as opposed to the blending of the Sorceress's magical power and her own soul which had failed to pass on to the Afterlife. The entity didn't understand. Then again, it had been so long removed from humanity that all it understood was its needs and wants, not the paltry human conventions like morality and humility, both of which seemed so outdated and incompatible with the powers of beings like Sorceress Quistis, or the monstrosity Rinoa. Or even of the entity itself, although its power was as yet still limited.
The entity desperately wanted to get out from this hideous child's aura. It considered following Rinoa, continuing to observe her, even though it wasn't sure why. It already knew all it needed to know about that thing, and that wasn't much. Instead it decided to return from whence it had come, at least for now. If the entity had learned one thing over the vast length of time it had occupied this current form, it was that Rinoa was a far more difficult target than Quistis, and was much more likely to disrupt its plans.
As the entity vanished it remembered just how tightly bound the monstrosity was to the Sorceress. Once Quistis is broken, Rinoa will be nothing of consequence. As long as the entity kept as far away as possible, the black-haired one was nothing to worry about. For now.
VVVVVVVVVV
Quistis looked over at the wall clock, her eyes having spent so long focusing on the pages before her that the time display was almost too blurry for her to read. It was still early in the morning local time, but it was probably late evening at the Cape of Good Hope. She hoped Matron would be available, because she needed to know something right away. The books just didn't say, and she was afraid she'd lose her mind if she didn't find out.
She sat in front of the vidphone and tapped Matron's icon on the screen. She made a concerted effort to keep her eyelids open and her eyes from crossing with exhaustion. When was the last time she slept? She pulled off her glasses and rubbed her eyes fiercely.
The videophone beeped several times before a face appeared on the screen. It was Edea, Quistis knew, but looking far older than she had ever remembered. Pronounced crow's feet framed her eyes, and her formerly long black hair had turned completely silver and was cropped short. How much has she aged since we last spoke? Quistis thought. It wasn't any more than a few weeks, was it?
"Quisty! How are you?" It was definitely Matron's voice, though Quistis noticed it had picked up a slight crackle. Or maybe it was just the connection. The wireless vidphones were still new technology and weren't the most reliable.
"I'm…" Quistis started, then sighed. She had a hard time opening her eyes after a blink. "I've been better."
"You look like something's troubling you," Edea said. "Please, tell me."
"What do you know about Adel?"
Edea blinked. "Adel? I don't know…mostly what I heard on the news at the time, and some snippets in old Galbadian military intelligence reports."
"I've been looking into Adel, and something's bothering me. Do you remember…did Adel….?" Quistis sighed. "You know how Adel basically ran Esthar's military from Esthar City, rarely appearing in public, right? And that she had her military capture Sorceresses so she could extract their powers using Odine's machinery?"
"Yes…" Edea said, her voice drawn out in confusion.
"Did Adel…ever take to the front lines?"
"Front lines? What do you mean?"
"Did she ever…lead her armies into other countries and…did she…murder Sorceresses with her own hands?"
While the video connection was washed with static, Quistis could swear she saw a haunted look in Edea's eyes. "N-no, not that I know of."
Quistis leaned toward the screen. "Are you sure, Matron? I have to know."
"Why?" Edea said. She seemed to be breathing more heavily than before. "Is it…are memories of Adel coming forth?"
Quistis took a deep breath, then nodded. "Yes. From my memories, the ones I inherited, they're like two different people who look the same, but feel different. Like…at one point she was bloodthirsty and enjoyed killing, and the other – well, I haven't really touched that one – but from what I read she only killed when necessary, not wholesale."
"Adel was responsible for the First Sorceress War, in which thousands died. That's all you need to know." Edea's sudden intensity surprised Quistis.
"That's – that's not what I mean. This vision of Adel…she enjoyed the kill. Wanted more of it. I…felt like I was her, for a few minutes."
"Quisty, you have to fight those memories," Edea said. Any appearance of fatigue brought on by her aged look was gone. "Some of them can be so powerful – they can threaten to take you over. Have you spoken with Seifer about this?"
"No," Quistis said. "He's dealing with too much else right now. He doesn't need to worry about this too. Especially because it's about Adel."
"Quisty, he's your Knight. You have to talk with him, because when it all comes down to it, he's the only one you can really confide in. Even more so than me."
"I know," Quistis said. "We've just hit a rough patch, and – I just can't talk to him right now." Then, before Edea could interrupt, she continued, "There's something else. I had an…I guess, an episode the other day."
"Episode?" Edea said.
"I – after that dream, with those memories, I went…well, manic, I guess, and ran around Garden, using my powers indiscriminately. I can't remember it very well, but…"
"I'm coming to you."
Quistis blinked at Edea's sudden declaration. "Matron, that's really not necessary. I can…"
"You need my help, Quisty. You're far more important than you realize. Especially now."
"But Garden's under lockdown! We have media from all over the world camped outside…"
"Cid will make an exception for me. And I'm crafty enough to sidestep some reporters."
Quistis opened her mouth to protest, then closed it again. She really didn't want Edea coming to see her. She wished she'd never called in the first place. "Can you really leave the orphanage alone?"
"I have some helpers here now. They can manage for a few days, at least."
"I'm not talking you out of coming, am I?"
"Not even if you said you were laying a trap for me."
Quistis stared at her Matron for a long moment.
"That was a joke, Quisty."
Quistis nodded. "Oh, sorry. I'm just…really tired lately."
"All the more reason for me to come to you as soon as possible. If you're having manic episodes, if you're not sleeping, then you need my help."
Quistis sighed. Despite her misgivings, at least some of her was glad that Edea was so adamant about coming. "Thank you, Matron."
"Anything for you, dear Quistis. I'll be there as soon as possible."
"Goodbye, Matron."
Edea nodded. "I'll be with you soon, Quisty."
The screen went dark.
"Who was that, Quisty?"
Quistis turned around to see Aria standing behind her. "That was my – the woman who raised me. Her name's Edea Kramer."
Quistis thought she saw a flicker of fear shoot across Aria's face, but it was gone before she could register it. "Is she a nice lady?" Aria asked.
"The nicest I've ever known," Quistis said. "Really, she was the mother I never had."
Aria nodded. "I…can meet her?" She sounded more nervous than hopeful.
Quistis opened her mouth, then shut it again. "Maybe," she said. However, she wasn't sure it would be the right time for Aria to meet anyone just yet. Edea was already worried enough for Quistis that she was dropping everything and coming to Garden to be with her, despite the lockdown and the constant media blockade outside. For some reason, Quistis felt a twinge of fear every time the idea came up for her to tell anyone about Aria. Maybe she was just worried they'd think she was crazy, talking to an imaginary girl who claimed she was dead.
But hadn't she had that same fear when she was first talking with Rinoa in the Crossroad? Hadn't that turned out well? Ultimately she had created a new body for Rinoa. Couldn't she create a body for Aria too?
The sense of dread spread through her chest. Was she powerful enough to create and maintain a second magical being? Even Ultimecia had only created one, and she was far more adept than Quistis at using her power. She remembered how stressful creating one body had been, and the risk at which it had put Rinoa. Suppose she tried to create a body for Aria and ended up not only breaking Aria's ties to this world and sent her on to the Afterlife, but in the process destroyed Rinoa's body and did the same to her? She could live with sending Aria on, since it would be a much better place to spend eternity than the Crossroad, but Rinoa? She'd be killing her best friend. Could she live with that? She clutched her arms around her chest and looked down. She noticed the Kushu design on Aria's nightshirt. It was glaring at her. It almost looked crazed, ready to strike at any moment…
"Quisty, are you okay?"
Quistis looked up at Aria's eyes and back down at Kushu. It was back to its playfully mischievous visage, except one eye was closed in a wink. She blinked and the image went back to normal, innocent and sneaky, with both eyes open. She looked in Aria's eyes again. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Just…thinking."
"Whatcha thinking 'bout?"
Quistis shrugged. "Just…stuff you don't need to worry about. Say, I have an idea." She leaned toward the little ghost. "I know you've been to the library here a couple times, but have you been around Garden otherwise?"
Aria shook her head. "Nope. I can't go too far away from you, or I disappear back to the empty place."
Qusitis stood. "Well, come on. I'm going to take you around and show you everything." Her thoughts fell on her whip for a half second, but she dismissed it. If she was going to be known as a Sorceress, then by God she was going to play the part once in a while. Even if it meant going into the Training Center without a weapon. Wasn't she a weapon now, after all?
"Okay!" Aria said. They walked toward the door, and before Quistis could open it, Aria had passed through it. Quistis smiled, opened the door, and joined her little ghostly friend in the corridor.
VVVVVVVVVV
Rinoa strode through the Training Center, not in a particular hurry to get to the Secret Area. For some reason she felt tired, though there was no reason why. Maybe she was channelling Quistis' feelings. She hoped Quistis was finally sleeping; she knew her friend had gone without much of it lately, spending so much time working.
She felt someone up ahead. She kept walking, and as she rounded the corner she saw the familiar tall, muscular shape in a light gray trenchcoat taking on a group of thick-shelled Raldos. She was surprised he was up training this early in the morning.
She watched him finish off the last monster and walked up. "Seifer?"
Seifer whirled around, Hyperion blade at the ready, and lunged for her. Rinoa immediately stepped back and raised her hands. "Hey, put that away! It's me!"
Seifer blinked a few times, then lowered his blade. He kept it unsheathed, though. "Sorry, I just…" He shrugged. "Tired."
"You look it," Rinoa said, walking up to him. She observed the dirt and monster entrails that had splashed on his overcoat, and noticed that his hair was matted and oily, and stuck out in several directions. "Been sleeping much?"
Seifer shrugged again. "You?"
"I don't sleep, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah," Seifer said, finally sheathing his weapon at his waist. He crossed his arms. "What are you doing up and about?"
"Just going for a walk," Rinoa said. "What about you?"
"Same, I guess." He started toward the exit, Rinoa following at his side.
Rinoa smiled. "The Training Center is known for its scenic walks." When Seifer did not return the smile, she asked, "How are you handing things?"
"Things?"
"Everything. The news, the reporters, everything."
"I don't know."
Rinoa stepped close to him. She could just barely feel the man's magnetism, despite his taciturn attitude and unkempt appearance, that had once attracted her to him. "Seifer, what is it?"
Seifer started toward the exit, leaving her behind. "Nothing."
"This 'nothing' must be important enough for you to walk away from me like this."
Seifer stopped and turned to her. "Look, give me a break, will ya? Have I ever said how much I hate you and Quisty being in my head like that?"
Rinoa stared at him, dumbstruck, and she walked up to him. As she got close he continued walking away, so she followed close behind. He came to a halt again and spun around. "I mean…I didn't mean…oh for God's sake." He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Look, just tell me what you want and go away."
Rinoa stepped close, her face inches from his. "I've known you to be standoffish and rude, to be warm and nurturing, and to be brash and impulsive. I've never seen you sulk like this." She put a hand on his arm. He made a half-hearted attempt to shake it off, but gave up when she showed her persistence by keeping it there. "What's going on between you and Quisty?" she asked.
"You get that from my head?"
"No, just your behavior, and I'm not surprised. It's been a rough few weeks for all of us, but you two especially. I can't get in your mind, but from just looking at you I can tell something's wrong."
"Just because I haven't showered something's wrong? And you think I'm going to talk to you? Why don't you talk to Quistis? Maybe she'll talk to you. She'll barely say anything to me anymore. Too busy thinking about this 'Aria' person, I guess." He shook his head.
"Aria?" Rinoa said. That was a name she'd never heard before. She only knew it as a musical term.
Seifer rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to talk to anyone, including Rinoa. "Yeah, she keeps saying that name when she doesn't have her nose buried in books. Look, in case you didn't notice, me walking away means I really want to be alone."
Before Rinoa could protest Seifer broke away and strode briskly down the branch hallway. Rinoa stood watching for a few moments, and then gave chase. Seifer was walking so quickly he had reached the main corridor and was circling around toward the main directory before she caught up.
He stomped to a halt when he heard her footsteps clicking behind him. He stood facing away from her, and did nothing to acknowledge her when she reached him. Rinoa likewise stood there staring at him.
"What?" Seifer growled.
"I need you to talk to me because Quistis won't," Rinoa said. It was a bit of a lie; she just hadn't wanted to bother Quistis, given all that had happened recently.
"Right now you're the last person I want to talk to."
"Why?" Rinoa said. She stepped around him and faced his front.
"Because when it all comes right down to it, you're a part of Quistis. And right now I don't want to talk to her either." As soon as he said it he wished he hadn't, but it was too late now. He crossed his arms and stared at her expectantly.
Rinoa stared back, the sting of what he'd just said sinking in. The old Rinoa, the one who hadn't fit a lifetime of war and pain in the space of a few weeks, would have backed off. The new Rinoa would not surrender ground. "Well I guess you don't know as much about me or Quistis as you think you do."
"Good morning."
They both looked over to see Quistis descending the stairs from the central elevator. Rinoa's attention was drawn not directly to Quistis, but to the area behind her. There was nothing there, not that she could see, hear, or feel, but she had the suspicion that something other than Quistis was with her. However, she could see that Quistis was just as unkempt and just as sleep-deprived as Seifer.
"What are you doing up so early?" Quistis was looking at Seifer. Rinoa could see how red Quistis' eyes were, how stretched the skin seemed on her forehead and around her mouth. Quistis hasn't been sleeping either.
"Who's watching the kids?" Seifer asked. His face had gone from irritation to slight worry, which to Rinoa meant "extreme worry".
"Why. Are. You. Up. So. Early?" Quistis asked, placing a staccato on each word. Her fists were at her hips now, and Rinoa could feel anger radiating off her, so intense it almost burned to stand near her. But why?
"I...snuck out the back door. Couldn't sleep." He stepped closer to Quistis. "Wait – is someone with the kids?"
Rinoa still felt that presence about Quistis, but even Quistis herself seemed – different, somehow. It wasn't just the anger, it was as if she were almost...becoming someone else. "I'll go..."
"You'll stay," Quistis said. "I want to know what you two were talking about."
"Nothing," Seifer said a little quickly.
"Were you talking about me?"
"I was asking about you," Rinoa cut in. There was no point in lying about it. "I've been worried about you. With all that's been going on, I can only imagine how hard it's been on you. I haven't seen you, so..."
The sentence hung in the air for a few seconds. Finally Quistis turned to Rinoa, some of the old humor returning to her face, though she felt little change in Quistis' demeanor. "Don't I look fine to you?"
Rinoa smiled. "The epitome of health."
The contentedness then melted from Quistis' face, her expression now matching the emotions Rioa sensed from her. "If you want to know how I am, come to me. Don't ambush my husband. And you," she turned to Seifer, "Don't you ever sneak out without telling me. Who's going to watch our children if you won't and I can't?"
Seifer's jaw dropped. He couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Quistis hadn't spoken to him like this since she was his personal Drill Instructor, back when he first returned to Garden. He felt blood rush to his head. "Did you even bother to check with me before you left the apartment? Doesn't sound like it, if you're just finding out now that I'm not there. Or, maybe you could have done your little scan thing and see if my mind was there. You like poking around in there, don't you?"
Quistis narrowed her eyes. "If you're presuming to tell me what to do, you can stop right there, mister. You're my Knight, which means I'm your Sorceress. Without me..." Quistis stopped herself, her eyes widening and visage softening, only for it to stretch back out in horror. She'd felt her anger boiling to the surface, and wasn't sure why. She was about to say something very hurtful, something she didn't mean, something that she realized almost too late couldn't be taken back.
"Without you what?" Seifer had a feeling he knew what she was about to say. He knew she was frustrated but quite frankly he had neither the energy nor the inclination to put up with a tantrum from a wife whose behavior, as of late, was starting to become quite erratic. "Without you I'm worthless, right?"
Quistis flushed. "I...wasn't going to say that." Actually, it was pretty close to what she was going to say before she stopped herself.
'Whatever. Well, listen. I've looked it up. I know I'm just some big dumbass, but I do know how to read. And Knight doesn't mean 'slave'. It means protector. I've got a little experience with that, you know." He stepped up close to her so she had to turn her head up to look in his face. "I'm not your slave, I'm not your Knight. I'm your husband. I'm the father of your children. Of our children. And if you're going to treat me like this, I don't think I really want to be anything to you but the last one." He stormed past her and toward the elevator before she could respond.
Not that Quistis had any response. She had entered this conversation intending to cause pain to someone, and she didn't know why. But cause it she did, just not only for the intended target. She felt short of air and had to draw more in several large gulps. Her eyes were welling up. Her heart was playing bongos against her sternum. Why did I say those things? Why did he say those things? He said those things because of the things you said, you idiot. Quistis' mind felt so muddied that she couldn't be sure she had just thought all those statements to herself. But if she hadn't, who did?
She really needed some sleep.
Rinoa had seen the whole exchange and wished she'd been anywhere else. She had been tempted to simply vanish, though it would have done little good since Quistis would have still been able to see her and it probably would have infuriated Seifer. And there was still the matter of the strange sensation she was still getting from Quistis. It felt a little like what she'd sensed earlier, before leaving the apartment. Was it Quistis, or was it something else? And whatever it was, could it be the cause of Quistis' strange behavior? She couldn't even place words to what she'd just seen and heard come out of the mouths of her two best friends. "Quisty, why...how...I've...never heard you say...anything like that." Quistis was staring off into space toward Garden's main gate, as if she didn't hear. Rinoa continued, "Quisty, what's wrong? Please tell me. Hearing you like that...you and Seifer, it breaks my heart."
"Your heart?" Quistis asked. It felt as if her mouth had taken on a mind of its own. "Interesting coming from you."
Rinoa came to a full standstill, no speech, no thought. The only thing she did was roll over those words in her head over and over. And then she started wondering again what was happening to Quistis that would make her say such hurtful things to her friends. She shook her head and opened her mouth, but no words came out.
Quistis looked at her, and Rinoa could see the pain in her eyes. She knew right away that Quistis didn't mean them, or that she didn't want to mean them, but it still did not explain why she had sent them. Could it just be exhaustion? Rinoa doubted it. Too much had happened, between Lunatic Pandora and Quistis' episode the other day, to this. She could only imagine what Quistis had been doing, saying, or thinking in the time they had been apart.
"I...I didn't..." Quistis started, but her voice was squeaky, as if she were being throttled. She turned and ran away. Rinoa wanted to follow, but she didn't know if it was shock or some other force that held her in place as Quistis disappeared around the curve of the main corridor. She saw Quistis one more time as she ran into the doorway leading to the Quad.
She could finally move again, but instead of following Quistis she decided to go back home. Something was wrong with Quistis, but she couldn't do anything about it right now. Seifer, who had already gone up the elevator, was probably back at their apartment checking on Tracker and Jessa. If she knew Seifer at all, there was nothing he wanted less than to speak to her now.
She now had new things to worry over. What was going on in Quistis' head? Why were she and Seifer so hostile toward each other? And, who is this Aria?
VVVVVVVVVV
Quistis leaned on the railing, staring out toward Balamb. Dear God, what's wrong with me? She clenched her hands into fists, her nails scraping against the stone. She looked down and saw that she'd actually torn gouges in the stone, and she felt the pebbles bite into her palm.
What the hell am I?
"Quisty, what's wrong?" Aria appeared out of the corner of her eye, sitting on the railing.
"I don't know what I am," Quistis said, her eyes focused on the scored concrete.
"But you're a woman," Aria said. "You're Quistis, and you saved me from being alone."
Quistis gave a quick sob, then swallowed it. Her head was swimming, and she couldn't think. She was so tired, so angry, so frightened, she couldn't be sure which one was the one she felt the most.
"Quisty, what's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?
Quistis' head jerked She felt the strong urge to lash out at Aria just as she had with Seifer and Rinoa, but she just couldn't. The words evaporated before her mouth could say them. Instead, she just shook her head.
"Quisty?"
"I – I can't," Quistis finally said. Her throat was so tight she felt like she could barely breathe. "I can't go on like this." She looked at Aria. Her eyes were drawn to the image of Kushu on the girl's shirt. The moogle was staring at her intensely. She shook her head again. Hallucinations. I'm so messed up right now.
"Can I help?"
She looked up to the girl's face. Aria was giving her a sad smile. She felt compelled to smile back, though nothing she was feeling would back that up. "I don't know. I can't even help myself."
VVVVVVVVVV
"She said what?" Squall said. He hoped that he was still half-asleep and that he'd heard something different from what Rinoa had told him.
"You heard me right," Rinoa said. "God, I wish I'd heard it wrong."
"Well," Squall said, sighing as he pulled on his undershirt, "maybe it was just a fight. When friends fight, they can say really hurtful things."
"I'm not talking about her calling him a 'dumbass' and him calling her a 'bitch'. For a second there, it was like she was lording herself over him like...well, like it was Ultimecia all over again."
Hearing that brought Squall's dressing to a halt. "No. Quistis doesn't have that in her."
Rinoa shook her head. "Are you sure?"
"I've known her almost all my life. All that I can remember, at least. She's not like that." He examined the pins on his uniform jacket and made sure they were straight.
"Maybe she wasn't. But Sorceress powers can do funny things to you, Squall." She got up and helped him into his jacket, straightening the buttons for him. "They're not just powers, they're whole lives you're taking into your head. Every Sorceress in history has a piece of herself in there. Sometimes it's hard to sort yourself out from them, especially when you're under a lot of stress. That's one reason why you need a Knight, to help you keep yourself. That, and the power itself can be so intoxicating that it can just warp you, worse than alcohol or drugs can."
"But you never had that kind of breakdown," Squall said. "You never came close."
"I always had you," she said. "Maybe...is Seifer not strong enough to...?"
"He's strong enough," Squall said. He ran a hand through his mop of hair. "I never thought you of all people would doubt him. You were always the first to defend him, even after..." He stopped, but the meaning had already escaped.
"Even after," Rinoa said, nodding. "You're right, he is strong, but maybe...maybe Quistis is something – I mean someone – different. Maybe she's used her power too much, and Seifer just can't keep her grounded anymore." She lowered her head. "She's done things in the few years since she got her powers that no other Sorceress I know of has managed, except Ultimecia. And, well, I'm wondering if part of it's my fault."
"Don't even start thinking that," Squall said. He took her hands and held them to his chest. "Quistis is a good person. She will never be evil. She doesn't have it in her. She's just overwhelmed. The problem is that she's already on vacation, and she's still taken so much work on herself." He gave a chuckle. "Is there an intervention for workaholics?"
"Maybe," Rinoa said. Actually, that sounded like a good idea to her. "You know what, I'm going to see what I can do about that. Maybe get the old crew back together again."
Squall hesitated for a second. He hadn't intended that seriously, and now that Rinoa was, he started wondering if it was a good idea. He didn't want to humiliate Quistis. But, then again, wasn't that the point of an intervention, to humiliate someone and force them to face their demons? Hell, for all he knew Quistis was facing real demons and that was what was affecting her so badly. "Maybe," he said. "Anyway, I'd better get up there."
Rinoa scratched a fingernail in Squall's beard. "What good is a vacation if you're still at the Headmaster's beck and call?"
Squall shrugged. "He said it was important, or else he wouldn't have called. He's been pretty good about giving us our space these past few weeks."
"I suppose," Rinoa said. "I'll try to talk to Quistis again and see if I can get a feel for what's happening with her."
Squall nodded. "Cid's already considering putting her on administrative leave. Right now, the way she's been acting, I agree."
Rinoa tilted her head, the smile melting from her face. "You can't be serious."
"Garden's under near-total lockdown. Our students living off-site have a hard enough time as its getting back and forth, those whose parents haven't already pulled them. To be honest, right now Cid and I don't want her anywhere near students until she's evened herself out."
Rinoa sighed. She knew Squall was right, but she wished it weren't so. She felt like it was a betrayal, even if it were necessary for the safety of Garden, its students, and even Quistis herself.
"Anyway, I have to go." He gave Rinoa a kiss. "Hopefully it won't take too long."
"Love you."
"Love you too."
VVVVVVVVVV
Squall exited the elevator to the Administrative level. Returning to this office after a long time away was always a little strange. Strange, and relieving. It gave him a sense of a return to normality, which was something he liked. He'd spent so much of his life over the past several years in a near-constant state of excitement.
He caught the eye of Bowler Fisk, Cid's administrative assistant. Squall sometimes wondered if Bowler wasn't good enough at any other job to be transferred, or he was so good at this one that Cid couldn't bear to let him go. He'd never heard any protests from Fisk himself. "Go on in, Commander," Fisk said. "They're waiting for you."
"They?" he asked.
"I – can't say more sir, you just have to speak to the Headmaster."
He knew Fisk was usually given just enough information to do what he had to do, and questioning him further would be fruitless. He also knew Fisk didn't ask too many questions, an important trait for someone serving directly under the head of all SeeD. Maybe that was why Fisk was still in this position.
Squall nodded and continued on through the double doors into the bridge, and then through the second set of doors into Cid's office. Once inside, he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing by Cid's conference table, speaking with the Headmaster, was none other than Fury Caraway.
Caraway and Cid immediately stopped talking and turned to Squall. Cid, for all his attempts at stateliness, showed a sudden rush of discomfort in his face. Caraway, on the other hand, clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes ever so slightly. Had his eyes been laser beams, his stare would have instantly bored a pair of holes through Squall's skull.
Squall never blamed Caraway for his hostility. The last time they had met was at Rinoa's funeral. Caraway had decked him with a single punch and had to be held back by his aides to keep him from beating the SeeD commander to a pulp. He was taking his grief out on the only one he could, justifying it by saying Squall had reneged on his promise to keep Rinoa safe. To date, was as much retribution as he'd sought.
That was before the media had begun speculating that Rinoa was alive, and spreading poof of such to every TV and computer screen across the world. Squall had expected a call from Caraway sooner or later, but for him to appear personally at Garden, and without his military guard, was highly irregular.
Squall nodded to him politely. "President Caraway."
"Leonhart," Caraway said, his voice low and ragged, as if he'd been speaking for days on end without rest. The man was still staring at him as if it were a contest to see which of them would back down first.
Despite his feelings for the man, for the first time since he'd known him Squall felt he could empathize with his father-in-law. How would he have felt if he'd thought Alexa dead for years and then suddenly seen her on the news, alive and well? Perhaps it was his fatherly instinct, but he suddenly wanted to tell Caraway that it was true, that Rinoa was alive, that through Quistis' perseverance and all their support, they'd brought her back from the dead. But of course that would be foolish, and probably fruitless. It would raise so many questions and suspicions that it could do nothing to help. He simply stood at ease, waiting for an explanation from either of his elders for this meeting.
Cid spoke up. "Squall, I know you and President Caraway are acquainted, and that you share some…animosity, but this situation is quite grave and requires your objectivity. Mr. President, please have a seat." He gestured to the seat to his left, and sat down at the head of the table. Caraway followed suit, still keeping his eyes glued to Squall.
Squall walked gingerly toward Cid and sat in his normal seat to the headmaster's right. When he glanced at Caraway again, the man had turned away toward the giant bay windows. They offered an unobstructed view of the ocean vista outside, peaceful even though rain clouds were obscuring the sun. Caraway's distraction relieved Squall, who had a fleeting vision of the president holding a gun, pointed at him, underneath the table in his hidden hand.
"Okay," Cid said, a little breathy. To Squall it sounded as if he were intensely stressed. "Mr. President, if you..."
"No," Caraway said. "First I need to ask Commander Leonhart."
"Mr..." Cid tried to interrupt.
"Leonhart. Squall," Caraway said, his tone much calmer, almost bordering on exhaustion. "I watch the news almost religiously."
Here it comes, thought Squall.
"Is it true? Is she alive?"
Squall looked into the man's eyes and saw something that felt very familiar. It was a father's love, pleading for his child. It was something Squall knew he could very well experience himself, were he in the same situation. The time had passed for subterfuge and lies. This man deserved the truth, for once. At least, enough of it to satisfy his question. "Yes, Rinoa's alive."
Caraway blinked a few times. Squall wondered for a fleeting second if those were tears he was blinking away. "May I see her?"
That was the question. Rinoa had mentioned their "meeting" at the Lunatic Pandora ceremony. She hadn't been too happy to see him, particularly since she'd almost sat on her while she was invisible. "That's up to her," he said.
Caraway nodded. "I figured. Can you please call her? I really need to see my daughter."
"Mr. President," Cid said. "With all due respect sir, that's not our main order of business..."
"My daughter is my main order of business. She should have always been. I let her slip away from me because I set everything else before her. If this is the last chance I'm going to have to try to set things right, then I want to see her one more time."
Caraway was staring at Squall again, but no longer with the same intensity. It looked almost pleading. "I'll call her," Squall said. He stood. "I'll be back in a moment, sir." He nodded to Cid, who nodded back.
Squall stepped out of the office and leaned against the bridge pedestal. This was not going to be easy. He called out, Rin, do you have a sec?
Sure, Rinoa replied in their mind-link. What's up?
Can you come up here please? It's important.
I know, I can tell. What is it?
Your father's here.
There was a pause. He hadn't expected an immediate answer.
What did you tell him?
What could I tell him? He saw you on the news. He practically begged me to tell him whether or not you were alive, so I told him you were.
Another pause. Well, now he knows.
He wants to see you.
What?
He's here for some kind of business, but he refuses to discuss it until he sees you.
So he's holding business over Cid's head so he can browbeat you into letting him see me?
I don't think that's it, Squall said. I think he genuinely wants to see you. Patch things up with you.
You don't know him, Squall.
Maybe not, Squall said, but I know that look in his eyes when he asked if he could see you. I really think, if I were in his situation and it were about Lexie, I'd feel the same way he does.
Another pause. For a moment Squall wondered if Rinoa had dropped the link. Then, finally, she said, I have to see him, don't I.
I think you should, Squall said. Give him another chance.
I'll regret it later if I don't right? Rinoa asked sardonically.
Maybe, Squall said. At least clear the air, so you don't have this wall between you.
He heard her sigh over the link, which he knew from experience was purely theatrical. Fine, I'm coming up.
VVVVVVVVVV
Rinoa exited the elevator. If she'd still had a stomach it would have been filled with butterflies. Caraway, here. She couldn't decide if this was some sort of possessiveness on her father's part, or a power play to somehow show Cid that he could make them follow his orders. Knowing her father's modus operandi when it came to negotiations, neither would surprise her.
Squall was standing at Bowler Fisk's desk. He walked up to her and looked into her eyes. She looked back into his, those questioning gray eyes. Neither a word nor a thought passed between them, but they both knew. Rinoa nodded, and then Squall did. He took her hand and together they walked toward the door to the bridge.
Squall entered the office first, meeting Caraway's gaze. He gave a nod, turned to his right, and stepped aside as Rinoa came in, her hand still firmly grasped in his. Caraway shot to his feet, staring at her. She could feel him examining her up and down; she wondered if he simply drinking in the image of his resurrected daughter, or if he was trying to determine the veracity of her identity.
"R…Rinoa…?" Caraway asked. His voice was quiet, almost breathy.
Rinoa nodded. She knew she should feel something, but a strange nothingness filled her. It was as if she was trying to instinctively protect herself from a pain she knew was coming.
"Is…it really you?"
"Yes," Rinoa said. "It's me."
Caraway approached her, and Rinoa fought the urge to shrink back. Old feelings returned to her, memories of being a little girl, with the stern, powerful man and gentle, nurturing woman taking care of her as best they could, all of them together. If she'd had tear ducts, her eyes would have begun watering just at the memories.
Caraway stopped a few feet from her. He again examined her head to toe, and then turned to Squall. "I need a few minutes alone with…her, if you please." He turned to Cid. "Please."
Squall looked to Rinoa, who looked from Caraway to him, and then back to Caraway. "It's okay, Squall. Headmaster." Squall turned to Cid, who nodded. Squall let Rinoa's hand slip from his own and he turned and left the office, Cid following closely behind.
Once the door closed behind her and Rinoa knew she was alone with Caraway, she didn't know what to expect. Would he fall to his knees and weep? Would he scream at her for deceiving him? Would he slap her? A maelstrom of possibilities swirled about her mind while the silence loomed between them.
After a minute or so of their apparent staring contest, Caraway said, "What was the last thing your mother said to us before she died?"
Rinoa was so utterly shocked that she reeled backward, leaning against the door behind her. "What? You can't be serious!"
"Please, you have no idea how many young women have come to me, claiming to be my daughter reborn, or having had plastic surgery so they could live anonymously. Some of them couldn't even say my granddaughter's name, for God's sake. Please, I have to be sure."
Rinoa stared at him, a loss for words. She felt a sudden, despicable urge to lie to him. To say something generically mushy like, "Remember I'll always watch over you," or "I love you," or some other storybook line, just so he'd think she was lying and she could be done with him. Damn the consequences. That part of her, a part that still resented him for emotionally abandoning her so long ago, wanted him back out of her life.
And yet, what would be the purpose of that? To maintain the status quo? To keep him out of her life just because that was what she was used to? When he'd approached Alexa at Lunatic Pandora, she'd stopped her daughter from saying things that could have alienated him. But the question remained, what did he really want?
They continued staring into each other's eyes until Caraway, letting loose a sigh, turned and headed for a chair.
"Ride the Buggy," Rinoa said.
"What?" Caraway said, stopping his grim march and turning back toward her.
"The game we were playing. The board game you and Mom had bought me for my birthday. You and I were playing it…though I think we were just pretending to follow the rules while we scooted our little token things around the board." Rinoa remained leaning against the door, but could see color begin to flood Caraway's cheeks. She continued, "It was the…last time we ever played that game, or any, I think. Mom came into the room and said, 'Aren't you coming to the store with me?' I said something like, 'But I want to ride the buggy!' I…I think you said…'She can't resist the buggy'…or something like that. You used a word I didn't understand, but I think that's about what you meant.
"She…crossed her arms or tapped her foot or something, and said, 'Fine, but don't complain if you don't like the food I pick out,' and walked out the door. You…y-you said…" her lower lip was trembling, and she had difficulty choking her words out. She had watched Caraway through her whole narration, and the longer it had gone on, the more grief, the more joy she had seen wash over his face. "Nothing…but the…" she laughed a little through her own tears, "Nothing but the best liver for our little girl."
She could say nothing more. She didn't have to. Caraway was upon her, his arms wrapped around her. After a few seconds of shock she wrapped hers around him. His face pressed tightly against her head, she could both feel and hear him weep. The one and only time she'd ever seen him cry was at her mother's funeral, before he'd shut himself off completely from his emotions, and from her. She now realized how much he'd held in all those years, felt it come out in a stream of tears into her hair, and realized at that moment why she'd been so attracted to Squall back when he had seemed a cold-hearted military man. She'd recognized the same in him that she'd seen in her father: a military man with a cool, calm exterior but brimming with repressed emotion underneath. She realized at that moment just how much she'd loved her father, how she'd always loved him, no matter how angry she'd become with him, despite the fact that she'd abandoned the Caraway family name in favor of her mother's maiden name, because of her anger with him. She'd never stopped loving her father.
The realization was what brought out all her grief, all her pain, in her free-flowing tears that evaporated almost instantly upon contact with the air. She realized just how much she'd loved her father, and how much he'd loved her, despite their differences, despite what she had assumed to be their mutual resentment of each other. She'd put him through so much pain, making him believe she was dead even long after she'd returned to life. She had never put much thought into ever contacting her father again, but now that she had, she wished she'd done it so long ago.
"Rin…my Rin…Thank you God…my little girl…I missed you so much…"
"Car…D-daddy," Rinoa said, realizing for the first time that she had grown so accustomed to referring to her father by his last name, with no title or honorific, and had not once called him "Daddy" in at least 20 years.
"I'm so sorry, Rin," Caraway said, his voice strained with grief. "I…I should have been there for you, always. I was so angry, so hurt…when we lost your mother, I just…couldn't deal with it. You reminded me so much of her, I just…I just couldn't…I had to get away…I'm so, so sorry…"
"Daddy," Rinoa said, a little more sure this time. "We…we both screwed up. Mom…wouldn't have wanted us to be like we were. I…think she'd want us to be like we are right now."
"Your mother was always so smart…so wise…I wish I'd listened to her more often…When I lost you…I realized how much I'd given up, how much I'd hurt you, and I couldn't stand it. But you…you came back."
Rinoa nodded against his chest. "It was…a miracle," she said, not untruthfully at all. "It was a miracle that brought me back. I just wish…I wish I'd told you sooner." It was the truth. "I'm so sorry…I'm the worst daughter in the world…"
"No," Caraway said, pulling away and looking her square in the eye. He used his thumbs to swipe away some of her tears. "Never, ever say that. I…I was a bad father. If I hadn't shut you out…"
"Please, don't," Rinoa said. "Mom wouldn't want us blaming ourselves either. We should…just forget everything that we did, everything we thought we felt, and move on from here. We're father and daughter now. I got a second chance to be with my family when I came back. I want a second chance with you too."
"I want that too," Caraway said, pulling away from her. He took her hand and led her to the chairs at the conference table. He sat down, and Rinoa sat down in front of him. He took both her hands in his. "Please, I want to know. Please tell me everything. How you're here, how you've been. What you've done, how your family is. Please."
Rinoa raised her eyebrows. "There's a lot you won't believe."
"Given everything I've seen over the past several years, from Sorceresses to Time Compression to Lunatic Pandora, I'm keeping an open mind."
Rinoa nodded. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you.
She told him everything. That she was the Sorceress, that she'd died and passed her powers on to Quistis (Caraway nodded understandingly at that part), and that Quistis had used her power to rescue Rinoa's soul from limbo and also given her a second chance at life. She held nothing back, and Caraway reacted little more than the occasional nod. The entire time he paid rapt attention to her, and she never once saw skepticism flicker across his face.
"So, that brings us to now," Rinoa said, "and why we have the media camped outside every Garden."
Caraway nodded. "All you've been through, all the pain, and it never turned you into a cynic like it did me." He shook his head. "I should have known you would be the stronger one, just like your mother."
Rinoa smiled and her gaze dropped to her lap. Caraway tucked fingers under her chin and lifted her head. "It really is a miracle. You're alive, so mature, but you don't look a day older than you did when I saw you at your wedding."
She felt a slight pang at that one. Her meeting with him at their wedding had been adversarial at best, with Squall of all people being the voice of moderation during the short exchange. "I'll never age, as far as I know," she said.
"And it's all thanks to Quistis Almasy," Caraway said. Rinoa nodded. "Can I see her?" he asked. "I want to thank her personally."
Rinoa bit her lip. "Quistis...hasn't been feeling well lately. The thing with the news has hit her pretty hard and – well, she's trying just to be alone with her family right now."
Caraway nodded. "I understand. Still, please pass along my heartfelt thanks."
Rinoa fought the urge to scowl. Caraway was starting to slip back into his politician persona. "I will." She squeezed his hands. "You've got business to discuss with the Headmaster and Squall now, don't you?"
Caraway nodded slowly. "Yes. But first I wanted to see you, if just one more time." To Rinoa's confused look he said, "I just want you to know that, whatever happens, your father loves you very much and is so happy he had this one chance to see you again."
Rinoa sighed and nodded. She wasn't sure what he meant about the "one more time" portion of that, but decided to leave it alone. "I'll go get them."
Caraway nodded. "Thank you." As she walked out of the room she knew he was watching her, and though she knew the feeling should have given her the creeps she actually felt comfortable with it. Despite the awkwardness of their meeting, she actually felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
Let the media say what it wants. I've got a father again.
VVVVVVVVVV
Cid and Squall were on the opposite side of the bridge. Cid was speaking to him in hushed tones, and Squall was listening with his arms crossed and his head down to the side.
"Um, we're done," Rinoa said. They both looked at her. She could see the concern etched into Squall's face. What is it? she asked through their mind-link.
We'll talk about it later, Squall said.
Rinoa raised an eyebrow. Cid said, "How did it go?"
Rinoa gave a small smile. "Better than I expected. I think things will be better between him and me than they have been in a while."
Cid gave a confident smile. "Good." He gestured to Squall. "We have to meet with him now. It may be a long meeting."
Rinoa frowned. "I see."
"It'll be okay," Squall said.
"I believe you," Rinoa said. She headed out the double doors without another word, leaving Cid and Squall to return to the office.
Once inside they found Caraway standing at the windows, watching the sun peek through the occasional break in the clouds. "Mr. President," Cid said, "I've already explained everything to Commander Leonhart."
"Good," Caraway said, absently.
"We need to have preliminary discussions now, but for an operation of this magnitude we'll have to bring in leaders from every Garden. Given the possible worldwide repercussions, we need to make sure everyone is on the same page before any action is taken."
"Very well," Caraway said, not looking away from he ocean. "How soon?"
"We can get everyone here tonight, though it's unlikely we'll be able to do so this quickly without raising questions somewhere. Word will probably reach the media quickly."
Caraway gave a theatrical chuckle. "Since when did the great SeeD care about the media and public opinion?"
"We don't," Squall said, "but it may raise questions that will cause your enemies to force their hand."
"Or they'll assume it's a meeting to discuss what to do about the media," Cid said, stroking his chin. "I'll have Bowled spread a rumor to that effect. I'd bet that we'll see it on the noon news." He gave a smile. "Everyone else manipulates the media. Maybe it's time we did it for a change."
"There's one more thing," Squall said. "This won't be a simple operation, as I'm sure you're aware."
"I do have some military experience, Commander," Caraway said.
"This will be a very risky mission," Squall said, ignoring the sarcasm. "Even before we've got our plan together I can tell you our costs will be high. Equipment, manpower, and that doesn't even take into account the risk of casualties."
"And here I thought you were the best in the world," Caraway said.
"We are," Squall said. "That comes at a price, sir. While we appreciate your warning to Galbadia Garden, so they could leave before they were overrun, we can't do this kind of mission on credit, sir. Especially now." Squall suddenly realized that this was the first time he had ever negotiated pay for SeeD's services. He glanced over to Cid, who nodded approvingly.
"You don't need to worry about that," Caraway said. He tore a slip of paper from the pad on Cid's desk and wrote a series of numbers on it. He held it out to Squall. "Call the Federal Bank of Esthar. I will transfer the entire contents of this account as a down payment for your services, with the rest payable once I've returned to Monterosa City. I'm sure you'll find it adequate."
Squall reached for the paper, but Cid took it before he had a chance. "Thank you, Mr. President," Cid said. "We'll work these details out shortly. In the meantime, we should begin planning immediately. After all, what you're asking us for basically boils down to a full-scale invasion of your own capital city."
Caraway nodded slowly, his face blank. "I know."