Boruto- Chapter ten

When someone always seems strong you often forget that they're human too and have their own weaknesses. You think they can do anything without fail, almost to the point of expecting success. Then the reality that no one is perfect comes crashing down, a wake up call to not put them on a pedestal so high that they fall off. It terrified me to see Kawaki suffering through his nightmare. He kept shaking and screaming, face torn in pain and I could only watch. I felt bad that I hit him, but I was desperate to make it stop. I knew he had a hard and shitty childhood though I didn't know that many details. He was tight lipped and hated talking about his past, not wanting to let on just how bad it really was.

I never thought I would see him in such a state and it pissed me off. I wanted to get my hands on whoever had traumatized him and beat the shit out of them. I suspected from what little information I knew that it was his dad, a man I knew next to nothing about. It frustrated me that I couldn't get Kawaki to open up and tell me about his past, but I had to scold myself. It hurt him to think about it and demanding he spill his guts wasn't fair. I wanted to understand him better, but even after all this time he was still difficult to figure out. He was blind to anything good about himself and focused on the negatives most of the time. He always prided himself in not giving a fuck but made it a point not to cause trouble for the ones he was close to, those limited few.

I had to remind myself not to rush him, to try and go at his pace, but it was hard. He was so stubborn and quick to anger. My own short temper and big mouth didn't help anything either though. Regardless, I wasn't giving up. It was my goal to get Kawaki to see himself through my eyes and recognize that he was worth much more than he knew, especially to me. I had plenty of cheesy things to say to him, but he wasn't ready to hear them just yet. I didn't want to scare him off by dumping my feelings on him full force. In all honesty, I wasn't sure if he was ready for a real relationship as he is now. He's getting better and has come a long way since the day I first met him, but he still had a long way to go. His heart was still locked away and I suspected he was afraid of getting hurt even more than he already was, of letting someone in.

Thinking about it made me uncertain about what I should do. If I gave him too much space and never pushed for anything more than what he was giving, I wasn't going to get anywhere. He would be content to leave things the way they were. It may have been be selfish but, the way things were wasn't enough for me. I didn't want to be forever kept at a distance. Staying romantically involved with someone whose feelings weren't at the same level as yours would only get you hurt in the end. It stressed me out to think about, I didn't want us to fail. All I could really do was give it my all and hope for the best. I had faith Kawaki wouldn't let me down and I was rooting for him.

He was capable of love.

We never did talk about his nightmare, but I was able to accept his silence this time considering the circumstances. For now I would continue to support the man that was so special to me.

I was cutting vegetables in the kitchen, wanting to get finished cooking when Kawaki got home. We were both working more and going to school, but I made it a point to get home before he did every chance I got. I had been taking longer hours at my part time job and was a little overwhelmed and sleep deprived, but it was worth it. I needed the money in order to buy him his christmas present and didn't have a lot of time left. It was pretty expensive and even though I knew my parents wouldn't have minded helping me pay for it, I wanted to do it all on my own. It wasn't truly a gift from me if it was bought with someone else's money.

I would get him some other gifts as well of course. However, this one in particular got me excited and I couldn't wait to get it for him. I stifled a yawn and glanced at the clock. He was running late, but I wasn't that far on dinner so it worked out. He told me he might be late tonight anyway. I shook myself a bit and went back to chopping, having stopped when I got lost in my own thoughts. My eyes were drooping a bit and I tried to fight off my exhaustion. Being a naturally early riser wasn't always a blessing and with my schedule packed the way it was, I was more than ready to turn in for the night.

I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing and slit my hand on my next chop.

"Son of a bitch!" I cursed, abandoning the knife and dashing to the sink.

I ran cold water over my hand and scolded myself. I couldn't believe I did that, how old was I? I hissed at the pain and grabbed the nearest dish towel, wrapping it around my hand. It was throbbing like crazy.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I shrieked and jumped at Kawaki's voice, my good hand clutching my chest. "What the fuck is wrong with you, sneaking up on me like that?" I asked, heart pounding.

Kawaki's brow arched as he stared at me. "I didn't sneak… I just got home and I wasn't being quiet… at all. You must have been pretty preoccupied." His eyes dropped to my hand that held the towel. "What did you do?"

"I cut my hand chopping the stupid vegetables." I grumbled.

"Shit. Stupid vegetables? And not the good football hand." He walked over to me. "Let me see it."

I couldn't tell if he was being serious or if he was making fun of me, but the concern on his face was real. "It's not that bad." I told him as I held up my hand for him to examine.

He moved the towel and the blood was still coming. He held my hand in his while using the other to wipe the blood enough to check the cut. "It looks nasty as fuck but it's not deep. You should be more careful." His grey eyes met mine as he forced my hand closed over the towel. "I'll be right back. Don't touch any knives."

"Alright." I sighed and he went into the hall.

I turned around and opened a drawer with kitchen utensils in it. I picked up the ninja express chopper and went back over to the vegetables. I kept my injured hand close to my body while I used the other to stack everything into a piles. Next I grabbed the chopper and set it over them, wacking the button like handle and making the blades come down to slice and dice.

"You couldn't wait ten seconds… really?" Kawaki scoffed as he returned.

"What? I didn't touch a knife . . . and I have food that needs to be cooked." I pouted.

"Let's take care of that hand first, dumbass." He said, setting a box on the counter.

I gave him a flat look. "Kawaki. You better not have just called me a dumbass and then brought weed to treat my wound."

"I didn't know you wanted weed. We'll doctor it first and then smoke, I'm always happy to share." He said, waving me over.

"Yeah, no thanks." I said and shuffled over to him, taking a seat at the bar. "You gonna kiss it?"

"Not a chance." He snorted, opening the first aid kit he'd gone to get.

I smiled at him as I watched him go through the box. "Look at you being all medical and shit. You're just full of hidden talents, aren't you?"

"Not really." He mused as he pulled out a few different things. He grabbed my hand and snatched it over to him. "Sorry." He grumbled when I winced.

He removed the towel, ripping a packet open with his teeth and quickly pulling out the wipe within and using it to clean the cut. It stung a bit but I managed not to complain. Once it was cleaned the bleeding wasn't as bad. He then put a medicated bandage over the whole cut. It was nice knowing he had such a variety of supplies. He held the bandage in place and wrapped gauze around my hand to keep it in place. It took him less than a minute and I was impressed that it felt so much better. Must have been the cleaning.

"What the hell." He said once he finished and raised my hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

My eyes widened and my heart made a fuss over the gesture. "You . . . you did it anyway." I stated in mild shock, my face flushing.

His head was tilted, grey eyes darker than normal as he gazed at me. "I like getting a reaction out of you." He shrugged and released my hand. "So, you wanted weed… I'm on it."

My jaw dropped, unable to believe he was bringing weed back up at a time like this. He walked away without another word and I stared after his back. I really should be used to it now, but he still surprised me with his habit of smoking at the worst possible moments. But that was Kawaki for you. I got up and went back to slicing and dicing with the express chopper. It took more time this way, but I didn't really have a choice.

"Move bitch, you're too slow. I'm fucking starving." Kawaki said, pushing me out of the way with a bump from his hip. "Here, light this." He slapped a joint and lighter into my hand and went to moving the chopper aside before grabbing a knife.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "And what do you think you're doing?" I asked. "You don't cook . . . and you can't smoke around the food, bastard, don't call me a bitch."

He turned to look at me as if I'd lost my mind. "I can smoke around the fucking food if I want to. And just because I don't cook doesn't mean I can't."

My mouth fell open as he started chopping the vegetables like a professional. What the fuck was up with all these hidden talents? He had finished in no time, setting the knife down before getting a pan and putting it on the stove. He quickly moved the cutting board holding the vegetables over the pan and dropped them all in. He got the olive oil, added a perfect amount and seasoned them to perfection. He even set the stove on the perfect temperature before putting a lid over the pan and then checking the meat I had in the oven.

"What. The. Hell." I breathed. "This just isn't right . . . you can't be good at everything."

"More like… where the hell… is the joint you're supposed to be lighting. And I can be good at most things… if I need to be." He closed the oven. "You weren't going to sauce those pork chops? They need sauce."

He was giving me critiques now? "No, but they're still good without it. Since when are you an expert? Seriously, I'm starting to think you've got a whole bunch of skills going to waste because you're lazy."

"I'm not fucking lazy." He hissed as he went to the fridge and pulled out four different kinds of barbeque sauce. "If you don't light that joint… I'll be the one getting drastic in here."

"Whatever, I'm the king of drastic." I reminded him. "If you're not lazy then maybe pampered is a better word. I feel like I pamper you a lot . . . can't help myself."

He grabbed a bowl and started putting so much of each sauce inside. "I just don't like cooking. It's annoying-just like you. Light. The. Joint."

"That's fine, I like to cook. Am I annoying? Huh . . ." I mused and leaned back against the counter. "I like to see myself as more of a necessary evil. I'm not lighting the joint, get over it."

"Fucking asshole." He grumbled, saying nothing more as he mixed his sauces.

I watched as he opened the oven, pulled out the pork chops, sauced them to his liking and put them bath in. He lifted the lid off the pan to check the vegetables, using a spoon to rotate them around before returning the lid and turning down the heat. He then came over to me, snatching up the joint and lighter before walking into the living room quietly.

I smiled to myself and walked to the end of the hall. "Oh yeah. What's your favorite color?" I asked, arm resting against the door frame.

"None." He snapped, holding the lighter to the joint before raising it to his lips.

"No, really what is it? It's important." I insisted.

"Really, I don't have a fucking favorite color. That's lame." He leaned back on the couch and proceeded to smoke his joint.

I chuckled, knowing he was the only person I've ever met who thought that. "Let me rephrase, do you hate black and silver more or black and red more?"

"I like black. Everything else is annoying. Especially blond and blue."

"Damn, take a shot at me then. All black works, that's all I needed to know." I said, satisfied. "And blond and blue are awesome colors."

"I'm trying to smoke and you're ruining the high I could be having right now." He sighed in exasperation. "Go away."

"Rude." I did as he asked and went to check on things in the kitchen.

"Don't fucking touch anything in there, asshole." He yelled from the couch.

Since when was he able to predict my every move? "I'm not!" I yelled back and then dipped my pinky in the sauce. I wanted to know what the fuss was about.

My eyes widened once I tasted it and I was pissed. It was fucking delicious and he had the nerve to never make this for me before. It wasn't sweet nor overly spicy, having a nice kick to it that left my mouth tingling. I lightly walked over to the edge of the kitchen and peaked down the hall, making sure he was still smoking. Then I went back and dipped my pointer finger for another sample. I didn't know I needed this in my life until now, it would be great on steak. Or any kind meat, honestly.

"You're fucking touching something. I know it." He yelled and groaned.

I stepped away from the sauce and licked my finger clean. "I didn't, chill." I yelled back.

I had just enough time to sit at the bar before he walked back into the kitchen, giving me a cold look on his way to the stove. "You look guilty as fuck."

"That's because I feel bad. You're doing all the work and I'm just sitting here." I told him smoothly. It wasn't a total lie.

He quickly checked the vegetables before turning them on low and then pulled the meat out of the oven. "I never feel bad when you do everything." He grumbled before turning to me. "So don't."

"It's different when I do it. I like cooking for you." I said. "Though I'd keep cooking even if you felt bad, gotta keep that ass pampered." I chuckled.

"Whatever. Let's eat."

I got up and grabbed two plates for him to put the food on. While he did that I took some dr. pepper out of the fridge and some forks and knives out of one of the drawers. We carried it to the living room set placed it on the coffee table, Kawaki taking a seat after. I looked at my pork chop to see how much sauce he put on it, nowhere near enough. I went back into the kitchen for the sauce bowl and then joined him on the couch.

"What's that for?" Kawaki asked, eyeing the sauce bowl.

"I'm gonna put more on my pork chop." I explained as I started cutting it into smaller and dippable pieces.

"You didn't even want sauce… and what if you don't like it?" He asked, suspicious. "You fucking tasted it already, didn't you?"

Damn me and my big mouth. "Uh, no?" I tried, but it sounded pathetic even to my own ears.

"You suck at lying." He shook his head as he took a bite of his food. "You suck period." He told me then, his mouth full. When he swallowed he added, "You're pretty good at sucking actually."

"Then stop complaining." I said, ears warm. There was a time and place for that and while we were having dinner wasn't one of them.

"I'm not complaining." He huffed.

"Good . . . now about this sauce. Either you're gonna have to teach me how to make it or you're making it whenever we have steak." I said and dipped a piece in the sauce bowl before eating it. "Oh fuck, it's even better on the pork chop." I groaned, going in for another.

"It's not hard… just mix different sauces together to make a better one." He explained, glancing at me as I greedily used the sauce.

The whole bowl was mine now and I may or may not have developed a problem. "Yeah? Well, we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't taste the same, I'm dragging you into the kitchen." I warned.

"You're not dragging me anywhere, asshole."

"Says you. Remember that time we went into town on a febreeze mission?" I teased and he scowled.

We finished eating and watched a movie before heading to bed for the night. As christmas crept closer, I went and bought Kawaki's gifts and hid them in my room. I hadn't bought the big one yet, but it was being held for me since my dad was on good terms with the boss. My parents invited us over for an early christmas feast and my sister teased me about it, saying they all knew I wanted to be alone with Kawaki on the 25th. I didn't deny it but wished they would mind their own damn business. It went well and everyone had a great time though it got me thinking about the dean again. She was Kawaki's guardian yet he hadn't said anything about going to see her. I knew she meant a lot to him so his attitude really confused me, he should at least call her and wish her happy holidays.

Better yet, he could do something special like taking her out to eat. I suggested as much while I stood in the bathroom, Kawaki taking a shower after he got home from work.

"I could come with you and finally meet her." I said, hoping he would let me go too. He didn't respond and I sighed. "Alright, I don't have to go . . . but you should go see her. I bet she'll be really happy."

He still didn't say anything and I left it at that for the moment. I went into the living room to wait for our pizza, I was too tired to cook even though my hand was all healed up. Doing homework late at night had caught up to me and I didn't want to end up chopping off one of my fingers. Christmas break had officially started three days ago and I was looking forward spending some more time with Kawaki. I watched TV and laid on the couch, a small blanket over my midsection. A knock on the door came sooner than I expected and I grabbed my money from the coffee table.

"Coming!" I yelled and made my way to the front door.

The pizza boy smiled when he saw me. "Nice to see you wearing a shirt this time. Or maybe not." He said and I frowned. What was he talking about? And was he hitting on me?

"Here." I said and handed him the money. "Keep the change."

He took it, but held the pizza box out of my reach. "So . . . you eating alone tonight?" He asked, looking hopeful and nervous.

"What the hell?" This guy was starting to piss me off.

"O-oh, well, I'm not trying to intrude, but . . . maybe you would be interested in a date sometime." He said, smiling at me again. "You're single, right?"

I opened my mouth and then closed it again. He wasn't technically wrong, but he was dead wrong. "I'm already wooing someone, so that's a big no on the date." I said and held out my hands for the pizza box.

"I see . . . so there's no chance for me then?" He asked and finally handed over the box.

Hearing a slam behind me I turned around to see Kawaki sitting on the couch in nothing but his briefs, his hands on his box that he'd just sat on the coffee table rather forcefully. My mouth fell open at seeing him sitting there like that, grey eyes looking past me to the delivery boy who could definitely see him. Kawaki didn't say anything but I knew him well enough to know that he was pissed.

"Bye." I said quickly and shut the door in the pizza boy's face. No one was getting an eye full of Kawaki but me.

I went over to the couch and sat the pizza down before putting my blanket over my lap as I sat next to him. I tried to gauge how upset he was while I silently watched him get to work on rolling a joint. He kept slamming the table and glaring at his weed, not saying a word. That wasn't a good sign. I tried to focus on calming him down rather than checking him out, but it was hard when he wore nothing but those god damn briefs.

"How was work?" I asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

He ignored me, slamming his grinder onto the coffee table before pulling the lid off and slamming it down too. He shoved weed into the grinder before closing it and twisting it quickly, taking his frustration out on his task.

"Come on, don't be mad. You already know how I feel about you . . . no other guy is gonna change that." I told him, seeking out his eyes. "You're the one I like. Everyone else can fuck off."

He refused to look at me, but his movements slowed and he stopped the slamming. He appeared to be calming down as he dumped the grinder and transferred the weed to a paper. He quickly rolled the joint and lit it, taking a deep hit and leaning back on the couch. I took my blanket and put it over his lap, careful not to get handsy.

"I can't eat under these conditions." I explained before he could protest. "I will jump your ass right now."

Kawaki grunted but continued to smoke his joint quietly. I was relieved that he didn't seem as angry anymore… but disappointed he still hadn't said anything. I opened the pizza box and took a slice, looking back to the TV and trying not to sulk.

"You won't order pizza from there again." He said after a while, tone firm. "This is the last time."

"I'm cool with that." I agreed. "Are you gonna help me finish this?"

"You think I'm eating that shit? Fuck no." He growled and went on grumbling under his breath about how stupid the pizza was… even though it wasn't the pizzas fault.

I smiled and shook my head. "You're being ridiculous, but it's also kind of hot." I admitted. I wouldn't lie, I liked it when he was jealous. Not that I would make him be on purpose, I wasn't insane.

"Whatever." He muttered, scooting down to be able to lay back more comfortably as he continued to smoke.

"Flaunting ass." I mumbled as my eyes couldn't help following the motion. I turned my head back to the TV and told myself I was going to make it through one more episode and one more slice of pizza before I lost it.

The next morning I was making pancakes and bacon when Kawaki dragged himself into the kitchen, getting ready to eat plain toast again. I never understood how he ate that almost every day for breakfast and watched him out of the corner of my eye in disgust.

"You don't have to eat that, I'm already cooking." I told him.

"You take too long." He grumbled, sounding half asleep as he dropped two pieces of bread into the toaster.

I rolled my eyes and let him be. I turned on cartoons while we ate and enjoyed not having to be anywhere. School was out and we both had the day off from work. I was looking forward to lazing around, but still had some business to take care of. I dropped it yesterday to let him think on it and now I wanted to know what he was going to do.

"Did you decide if you're going to go see the dean?" I asked him, staring at his face with my head resting in his lap.

"No. I don't really feel like being around anyone." He said quietly, staring back down at me as his fingers moved through my blond hair.

"Send her a card?" I pressed. "Or we could send one together. I'd really like to meet her sometime too, outside of school."

"A card? Are you serious…" He rolled his eyes. "Why do you want to meet her anyway? It's not a big deal."

I swatted his chest. "Hey, I already told you what bothers you is a big deal to me. That goes for the good things too, she's important to you. I want to get to know her . . . and size her up a bit."

"You're so annoying. Can't we just not worry about anyone else and just sit here… in peace."

"If you agree to make her a card later." I bargained and gave him a small smile. "That'll make me feel real peaceful."

"Fine. I'll buy her a card and mail it to her." He sighed. "She'll probably think I'm really high."

I laughed. "Yeah, she might. But you could always just say you're high on life." I joked and then laughed again.

"Yukina… she's cool. She's not… we're not like you and your family. She doesn't expect much from me."

"There are all kinds of families, Kawaki. You know what they say, some bonds are thicker than blood." I said thoughtfully. "I get the feeling she and I would have a lot to talk about . . . I would bet she sees you the same way I do."

"It doesn't matter how she sees me. She knows me… she knows how I am. That's why she hasn't bothered trying to get me to go over for christmas."

I hummed in agreement. "Maybe. We might have to tag team that one year, when you're ready."

"Let's worry about today, alright?" He sighed and flicked my nose.

"Ow!" I said even though it didn't really hurt. "Now you have to kiss it."

"Not a fucking chance."

I pouted and pointed to my lips. "What about here then?"

His lips pulled apart and his hand moved to my throat as he leaned down over me. "Maybe." He whispered, lips just a hair away from mine.

I closed the small distance and crashed our mouths together, my hand coming up to grip his wrist while the other clutched his shirt. I moaned happily when our tongues met and he deepened the kiss. My body grew warm and I felt so good. I wanted to be like this for as long as I could with Kawaki, to claim him as mine and tell people as much. I was falling deep and deeper for him and grew more hopeful each day. I could make this work, I would make this work. I've never cared for someone so much as I cared for him.