Lingering doubt

Jan waited in the shuttle bay for the squad to return. As the shuttle pulled into the bay, she felt the knots in her stomach tighten, but nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. The door opened and the Alliance soldiers came rushing out with Samantha on a stretcher, a breathing mask over her nose and mouth and Dr. Chakwas limping along with them. Samantha's right leg was covered in blood and she had a gunshot wound to the chest. The normally dark Samantha was as pale as Kelly Chambers was. Jan had never seen actual combat wounded, and her father's words about mortal danger rang in her head. What if they're dead?

Now she was really worried. Two marines carried out a stretcher bearing a bruised and battered Miranda Lawson. Then more marines carrying stretchers bearing Normandy crewmembers came out. Two biotic soldiers levitated an unconscious and shackled Grunt, taking him to the med-bay. Garrus, Urdnot Dagg, Jacob Taylor, and Dr. Tsoni emerged on foot, and relatively unharmed. Finally, her mom and dad exited the shuttle, looking every inch the war heroes they were. Jan ran to her parents, and her father scooped up, hugging her before handing her off to her mother.

"Jan, I've got to see to a few things," her dad said. "The Normandy crew, what's left of it, is in a very bad way." He kissed her, then kissed her mom and headed off in the direction of the med bay.

N7

When Shepard arrived in the med bay, he immediately went to Traynor. His former coms officer looked awful, but a limping Karin was tending to her and trying to stabilize her.

"How is she, Doc?"

"Thankfully, I think she can make it," replied Karin. "But what I've done is only stop gap. We are not equipped for the kind of long-term care she needs, Councilor. She needs to get to a hospital soon." Karin paused and turned to face Shepard. "You know, this is the second time you've come for me. I am eternally grateful to have friends like you, Garrus and Ashley." She quickly embraced her former commander and then returned to work on Samantha.

"No problem, Karin," Shepard said. "Though I'm not councilor any longer; I've been reactivated with my last active duty rank, commodore."

"If they've brought you back into service …" She didn't finish her sentence. To pull Humanity's councilor from diplomatic service and back into military service meant that something terrible was happening.

As Karin concentrated on Samantha, Shepard moved to Steve's bedside. The Yorktown's doctor, Cameron O'Neill, was tending Steve.

"Commodore Shepard," O'Neill said in greeting. "Checking in on the Normandy crew?"

"Yeah," said Shepard, inspecting his former shuttle pilot. "How's he doing?"

"If we get him to a real hospital, they should be able to reattach the hand, and he should have full use of it. Given that his wrist was damaged, he may need implants, but he won't bleed out."

"Well that's good news at least," Shepard said approvingly. He then turned to Joker. Normandy's helmsman was out, his knees wrapped up. "What about Joker?"

"He's another matter." The doctor shook his head. "Vrolik syndrome makes his knee injuries even more problematic. He won't be walking for a while, regardless. Like Cortez, he needs to get to a hospital. A ship's med bay isn't equipped for this type of trauma, even with someone as talented as Dr. Chakwas." O'Neill's face darkened as he looked to Gabby's bed. "I'm not sure she'll make it even if she gets to a hospital … and if she does, she'll likely be a paraplegic."

"Then we've got our work cut out for us," said Shepard.

The doctor turned to the beds with Miranda and Vega.

"Regarding these two, what in God's name happened to them? The two of them look like they've been dragged behind a skycar and bounced off the rooftops, and he's got internal injuries that medi-gel can't fully fix. His arm is like a noodle. He's lost a lot of blood—we could lose him. "

"Miranda decided to take on Commander Taylor and Urdnot Dagg," began Shepard, but the doctor prematurely answered.

"Ah, that explains it."

"No," said Shepard, "it doesn't. She really took it to them while I was fighting Grunt. Ashley had to help, but she took Ash down as well. I took Grunt out of the fight briefly and put Miranda down. Then I finished off Grunt."

The doctor looked at Shepard disapprovingly. "You . . . did . . . this . . . to a woman?"

"Yeah, a biotic Spectre armed with a heavy pistol and a submachine gun," replied Shepard sharply, "who had just put down two marines and a Krogan." He paused for a moment and then continued. "I understand where you're coming from, Doc, I really do, but it's a lot harder to subdue a foe than it is to just kill them. If we didn't care about them, we'd have simply shot them and brought their corpses back. Look, if it makes you feel any better, Doc, if she'd been a guy, I'd have dislocated her jaw and collapsed her trachea too."

"Don't you dare second guess him, Doctor O'Neill," Karin shouted. "She's the cause of the injuries here excepting her own and Vega's. After she attacked Ashley, I was amazed that Shepard let her live."

Before Dr. O'Neill could respond, Shepard intervened. "Calm down. Both of you." Both doctors went silent. Shepard's word was final. "It's not her fault; Miranda, Vega, and Grunt were being controlled by Leviathan through the artifact. This isn't an isolated incident. Unfortunately, Miranda didn't know about the others prior to investigating this mining facility. You all walked into an ambush." As he said this, he gently caressed Miranda's cheek. "She's a good friend, and a good Spectre. Please forgive her."

He walked over to Vega and slapped the arms master's right bicep. "And this guy, he's a good soldier. It's not their fault. Do what you can for them. We'll get to the Citadel as soon as possible."

N7

Shepard went up to his cabin to shower and to change. Ashley was waiting for him when he got there.

"I'm sorry, John," Ashley cried. He pulled her close and held her, but she continued. "I shouldn't have gone. I almost got killed out there."

"No, you saved Jacob's and Dagg's lives," countered Shepard. "You had their back, they had yours. That's why we go as a squad; we support each other. None of us are in this alone. You of all people know that, Ash."

"But John, you haven't been in the field in a decade and you took out Miranda and Grunt!"

"And Jacob and Dagg have been in the field every day for a decade and they got their asses handed to them by Miranda, and would be dead if you hadn't saved their bacon." He extended his arms, holding her far enough away to take all of her in. "Ash, it was your idea to go out, and it turned out to be a good one. If you hadn't been there, I'd have lost two squad members. Instead, our entire squad returned without casualties. It was you that made the difference. If you don't feel comfortable going back out, I understand. But you did just fine."

Ashley laughed. "I never realized until you were getting ready to go out again just how much a part of me the Alliance and being a soldier is. Suddenly, it all came back to me. I don't want to trade my life, but I guess I just needed to prove to myself that I still have it."

"Oh, you have it," Shepard said, pulling her close.

"Nice of you to say, but I know I don't," she countered. "I pulled … well, everything just doing what I did. It used to take a fight against Saren to do that to me, but it's alright. As you said, two people are alive who wouldn't have been, and our daughter needs at least one parent who's not off killing giant monsters."

They showered and changed quickly. There was a lot to discuss with the crew.

N7

Shepard and Ashley went to the conference room, where they were soon joined by Jacob, Dagg, Liara, Garrus, and Dr. Anne Bryson. Shepard wasted no time in getting to business.

"First of all, we're going to the Citadel; Vega, Traynor and Daniels probably won't make it if we don't, and I'm not losing them." He paused to let it sink in for a moment.

"They brought me back to active service because the enemy we face is a more insidious and possibly more terrifying threat to the galaxy than the Reapers." Shepard brought up an image of the spheres he had encountered with Ann's father, Dr. Garret Bryson and Edi during the Reaper War. "They're called Leviathan. They use these spheres to control their thralls. We have no way of knowing how many such spheres exist. They are dormant and have no energy readings unless they're active. Leviathan can also use them to focus a pulse powerful enough to take down a Reaper. Or a starship."

Dagg, Dr. Bryson, Jacob and Liara exchanged worried glances.

"Relax," Shepard reassured. "The Yorktown is shielded. We used data from Taskforce Aurora and from your own research, Ann, as well as data compiled by Edi during the war. It was a significant part of this ship's design."

"And we'll need that edge as we go up against Leviathan," Jacob observed.

"Our armor is also shielded in the same way," Shepard continued. "So do not, under any circumstances, remove your helmets on any of these missions. You get possessed, you attack any of your allies or try to impede this effort in any way, and I will kill you. Let me make that perfectly clear."

"I can vouch for the danger of these things," Dr. Bryson confirmed. "Leviathan uses a quasi QEC link that it establishes through the spheres. It then takes control of the person or persons if it sees fit to do so."

"Shepard, you almost died confronting Leviathan directly," Liara warned. "It is unlikely that it would have let you go if the Reapers had not been a threat. Without the Reapers to counterbalance Leviathan, they have no reason to let you go now."

"Doesn't matter," Shepard retorted. "I deal with this now and I deal with this permanently. My daughter will not, not grow up under this kind of threat." He pounded the table with his fist for emphasis. "We go back to the Citadel. We drop off those who need hospitalization, and we get our asses back here to seek out and destroy any and all of these artifacts. Then we deal with the one Captain Riley found. Then we go Despoina."

"Why go there?" Jacob voiced what others were thinking, but Shepard had a ready answer.

"Because I know that's where they live." Shepard looked at each of them individually, holding their gaze and then moving to the next. "We end this. We get to the bottom of this and we end it—once and for all. Dismissed."

With the meeting wrapped up, Shepard was preparing to look in on Grunt, and Ashley was preparing to go back to Shepard's cabin to spend some time with Jan when Alison paged Shepard.

"Sir, Admiral Hackett is available on the vid com."

"Thanks, Alison," replied Shepard. He and Ashley made their way through the Yorktown's war room and back to the vid com to talk to Admiral Hackett.

"Shepard," said the Admiral in his usual gruff voice. "What is the status of the Normandy and her crew?"

"Not good, sir," replied Shepard. "The Normandy is crippled, but she looks salvageable. However, most of her crew was killed. They shot down the escape pods."

"All those men and women," lamented the admiral. "And on a routine mission no less."

"Yeah," said Shepard with a hollow laugh. "Routine, like the shakedown run to Eden Prime?"

"Let's hope this doesn't lead into anything that big. How are our Spectre and Spectre candidate doing?"

"Grunt is just out. Miranda is unconscious and needs medical care," explained Shepard. "I think that they encountered one of those artifacts. Whatever they did, Miranda, James, and Grunt were possessed and turned on their team, and then on us. I had to put them down hard."

"Sorry to hear that, Shepard," replied the Admiral.

"We'll be at the Citadel soon," explained Shepard. "We'll get our wounded taken care of. Sir, what happened at Arcturus?"

"One of our researchers brought back one of those spheres. It got to her and several others who were hell bent on stopping you from taking off."

"What happened to them?"

"Cut down in a hail of bullets and the sphere destroyed," replied the Admiral. "Possessed or no, we don't fool around with that sort of thing on a military installation that also serves as the seat of our government."

"I'll get this done, sir."

"See that you do, Shepard. Hackett out."

Ashley looked concerned, so Shepard pulled her close. "Don't worry, Ash. I'll stop this thing. Then I'll come back. Then after my term as Councilor is up, I'm retiring—military, politics, everything."

"John," Ashley protested, "what if this thing gets to the Citadel? Nowhere is really safe. I can't bear the thought of Jan being affected by all this." She shook her head. "Saren, the Geth, the Reapers, now this? Does it ever end?"

"Yeah," said Shepard. "It does if I have anything to say about it."

Ashley just hugged him.

"Now to go check on our wayward Spectre and Spectre candidate."

"Be careful, John!"

"Relax," Shepard smiled. "It'll be fine."

N7

As Shepard made his way down to the med bay, Dr. Bryson joined him.

"Commodore," she said shakily. "What do you plan on doing with James after he wakes up?"

"Ask him for his version of what happened," he replied. "And if he says what I think he'll say, recommend that he be cleared for duty as soon as his wounds are taken care of. Why?"

"James was there for me during the Leviathan mission," Ann said. "I was just some civilian researcher. You both could have kept me under that thing's control in order to get a more precise location and left me a vegetable. Instead, you both sacrificed intel to protect me. Now James needs help and I plan to be there for him."

"Noted." Shepard knew that James and Ann had some kind of relationship, though he did not know how serious it was. "I'll do everything I can for him. I promise."

N7

Grunt was the first to wake up. He realized that he was without body armor and without weapons, and was both restrained and locked up behind a stasis field. He felt like a thresher maw had just chewed him and spat him out. The big Krogan shook his head to clear away the fog. His entire body hurt, particularly his left temple. As his vision cleared, he saw the human councilor, retired Admiral Shepard, standing on the other side of the field. There was a dark haired woman standing with him whom he did not recognize.

"Ugh …" Grunt groaned. "Councilor Shepard. Where am I?"

"The SSV Yorktown SR-3. And it's commodore now," Shepard replied. "I'm not the councilor anymore. I've been reactivated."

"Good," growled Grunt. "Let's go knock some heads." Grunt sounded excited at the thought.

"We already did," replied Shepard. "Yours."

"Mine?"

"Yeah, yours. Miranda's and Vega's too."

Must've fought Shepard, thought Grunt. That explains why everything hurts. But why was I fighting him in the first place? And why don't I remember fighting against the most feared opponent in the galaxy? A fight between the ultimate Krogan and the toughest Spectre should be remembered and savored.

"Mind telling me what happened?" Shepard's question interrupted Grunt's inner monologue.

"Wish I knew," replied Grunt. "Fighting Shepard … that's the kind of fight that battle songs and epic sagas are made from. You'd think I'd remember, but I don't. All I remember is going into the lobby and all these civilians walking around like zombies. That, and somebody left a big ball on a pedestal. We had wounded that were slowing us down."

"Yeah, well they're even slower since Miranda shot them." Shepard did not look to be amused or joking.

"Shot them? Why would she do that? She practically fell into tears about the escape pods being shot down and about Traynor's leg being all tore up."

"Grunt, I need you to focus." Shepard was insistent. "What do you remember?"

"Just … darkness. Darkness and cold." He thought for a few moments more. "It was like a burial at sea. Cold, wet, and dark. Then I felt sharp pain and woke up." His head still throbbed. "You?"

"Yeah." Shepard looked concerned, as if he was thinking things through. Grunt had always like that about him. Shepard did not sit around waiting for answers to come; he worked through things quickly and then got down to the task at hand.

"Grunt, you were possessed by Leviathan," Shepard explained. "They used the sphere to control both the facility's staff and the three of you. Then the three of you attacked us. Vega and Miranda aren't conscious, so I'm talking to you."

"What happened to them?"

"Garrus happened to Vega, I happened to Miranda."

"Are they dead?" Grunt realized that he may have sounded more enthusiastic than he intended to, but Shepard didn't say anything about it.

"No, though they are in bad shape. I wanted them alive, so we weren't fighting to kill … but I don't fight to lose either." Shepard paused for a moment. "We're well out of range of the artifact and the ship is shielded against it. This is Dr. Ann Bryson. She'll determine if you're good to be let out. I've got to go check on the others."

"Shepard!" Grunt had to know one thing. "Was it a good fight?"

"The best." Shepard smiled as he walked away. Grunt was satisfied. Maybe now he and Shepard could start knocking heads together again.

N7

Miranda thought she was restrained at first, but realized that she was in some kind of body cast. Every inch of her hurt, and she could tell that this was in spite of painkillers. Miranda breathed in, only to be engulfed in intense pain.

"My first thought was to overdose you on those pain meds." It was Dr. Chakwas' voice. "But according to Shepard, this isn't your fault, so you live … for now."

Miranda turned her head slowly. More pain. She saw Doctor Chakwas seated some distance from her. Another doctor whom she did not recognize was tending to another patient. The med bay also looked different. I'm not aboard the Normandy, she thought. Then the memories of the Normandy's destruction came back to her.

"Shepard says 'what' isn't my fault? What did I do?" Miranda was frantic. She started to sit up instinctively, but waves of pain washed over her again, forcing her to lie back down. Dr. Chakwas pointed a pistol at her.

"I don't normally carry a weapon, Miranda," she said threateningly, "but I'm making an exception in your case. And even in your condition, I'm not taking chances."

The other doctor turned and looked alarmed. "Dr. Chakwas, what do you think you're doing?"

Dr. Chakwas ignored her colleague. "I'm surprised that Shepard concurred with Dr. O'Neill here regarding not tying you down, but they both felt that your injuries rendered you a non-threat. So please, prove them right by not moving."

Dr. O'Neil ran from the room, leaving Miranda alone with Dr. Chakwas.

"Just tell me what happened!" Miranda's pleading was emphatic, but Dr. Chakwas responded by preparing a sedative. As she approached with the syringe, Miranda could only say, "No, no," as moving was out of the question. Thankfully, O'Neil had returned with Shepard before Dr. Chakwas could inject it.

"That's enough, Karin." Shepard's word spared her the sedative, but she still had no idea why Dr. Chakwas was so antagonistic to her.

"Councilor," she said weakly. "Whatever you did for my crew, thank you."

"Your crew?" Dr. Chakwas was shouting now. "We ceased to be your crew when you tried to kill us!"

"Karin, that's enough!" Shepard was emphatic. He was not yelling, but his tone cut off any continuance on Dr. Chakwas part.

"I … I'm sorry," she said softly, her body going from tensed and rigid to limp and dejected. "I'd better go while you're interrogating her."

Shepard reached over and touched Dr. Chakwas shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. A smile passed between them, then the doctor left. Shepard pulled up a chair and sat down next to Miranda.

"Councilor, thank God you're here." Miranda was practically crying at this point. "Where am I?"

"We're on the SSV Yorktown SR-3. As I explained to Grunt already, I've been reactivated, so it's Commodore Shepard."

Reactivated? Something big must have happened for the Alliance to pull Shepard from the Citadel and put him back into the field after a decade of inactivity!

"Miranda, what do you remember?" Shepard's voice interrupted her speculation.

She tried hard to clear her head and to resist asking him what had happened to her crew. Normally, she would be inclined to press him for information, but something told her that she should answer his questions first.

"My crew … most of them died. We were hit by a pulse weapon that took the Normandy out. When we evacuated in the pods and began descending to the surface, someone began shooting the pods out of the sky. Only a handful of us survived, and Traynor had a very bad injury." Shepard nodded and she continued. "We saw them fire a laser at the Normandy and saw the explosion in the sky. We decided to head for the source of the weapons fire, as it meant a breathable atmosphere, food and water, and the chance to steal a shuttle and get back to Alliance territory."

"That's what I gathered from Grunt earlier," replied Shepard. That meant that Grunt was alive and conscious.

"Right," she continued. "We went in, but there was no resistance, no guards. I had the noncombatants wait in the entryway while James, Grunt, and I went in further. I remember seeing the miners standing around like zombies and a large sphere on a pedestal." Miranda rubbed her head. "They must have taken us from behind, because I blacked out at that point and didn't wake up until a short while ago."

Shepard was quiet for a few moments, his brow furrowed. He brought his right hand up as if to rub his forehead, but she knew that was just a habit he had when he was working out a way to say something that was going to be difficult, sensitive, or that had to be just right or it result in negative consequences. The hand partially hid his expression. In this case, she knew instinctively that his words would be difficult. Finally he looked up, his expression softening somewhat, and spoke.

"Miranda," he said softly, "you went back to your crew and shot them."

"NO! That can't be!" Horror gripped her at the thought. It would certainly explain Dr. Chakwas' antagonism, but could believe it.

"There's more," Shepard continued. "We arrived in time to evacuate everyone and to stabilize them. You had shot them as a lure for us. You, James, and Grunt came out again, guns blazing."

"Shepard, that can't be! I wouldn't do that! I just wouldn't!"

Nevertheless, he continued. "Miranda, Jacob and Urdnot Dagg tried to subdue you, but you were too much for them. Ashley tackled you to save them, but you almost killed her. I had just taken down Grunt, so I had to subdue you. I'm sorry, Miranda, but your injuries are all from your fight with me. Garrus took down James, then Grunt got back up and I put him down again."

A fight with Shepard. No wonder I hurt so badly. She was lucky to be alive. To date, Shepard's opponents were all dead.

"The aftermath of it all is that James, Gabby, and Traynor are barely hanging on. Gabby probably won't make it. We're heading to the Citadel to get them proper medical attention, but Dr. Chakwas and Doctor O'Neil are not very hopeful, particularly about Gabby and Traynor. Cortez is alive, but he'll need his hand reattached. And Joker will probably be wheelchair bound after being shot in the legs."

Miranda was numb. She could hardly believe this … and she knew Shepard was not lying to her.

"I know it doesn't make any sense, but it's not your fault," Shepard said. "That sphere you mentioned? It's the reason all this happened. I told Dr. Chakwas that this isn't your fault, and I meant it. Leviathan uses those spheres to control people. I saw it ten years ago during the war. Miranda, it or they took control of the three of you. You are not responsible for what happened."

"Cold comfort, with nearly all of my crew dead and the remaining ones nearly killed under my leadership."

"Miranda, you walked into that blind. You had no way of knowing." Shepard reached forward and touched her cheek softly. "Your leadership probably saved them from dying of exposure, for what it's worth. Incidentally, the Normandy isn't a total loss. Her port outboard engine and much of the wing are gone, but the hull is intact. We'll get her back."

"Now that is good news," Miranda said weakly. "But Shepard, how did you get involved in this? You were the human councilor. The best human councilor we've had."

"Riley was investigating a weapons smuggling operation that led her to a mining facility similar to the one you investigated. They managed to get away without activating the sphere. There were other reports of people losing control as well. Your own disappearance is what they pulled me in to deal with this. The Yorktown is speced to be immune to their pulse weapon and our armor speced to shield us from the artifact. We know what we're up against and we're going to end it. Once and for all."

Miranda liked the sound of that. As they were talking, Ashley and Jacob came in.

"Hey Spectre," Ashley said cheerfully.

"Miranda," Jacob said.

"Ashley, Jacob," Miranda spoke, fighting back sobs. "I am so sorry. So sorry."

"It's not your fault," Jacob said. "Those damn spheres are to blame."

"But I've gotta say," said Ashley with a smile, "you're a tough opponent. And a good Spectre."

"You're all far too forgiving," Miranda said, shaking her head. "I should have been able to resist it. Shepard did when he encountered Leviathan. How come I couldn't?"

"Because he's Shepard," Jacob said.

"Miranda, I dislocated your arm and broke a lot of ribs, but you should be back in action fairly soon." Shepard stood as he spoke. "Ashley and Jan are going home and Vega is going to the hospital. I plan to rendezvous with Riley. I want you and Grunt on my team. We've got Jacob and Garrus, as well as Urdnot Dagg." He reached down and squeezed her hand. "We can win this thing."

"After what I've done, you still want me on your team?"

"Yeah," he said. "You helped me take down the Collectors. I know your skills. I need the best on this, and that's you."

"Damn straight, Miranda," said Jacob. "And if Ashley were along, we'd have all four human Spectres on one mission. Now that would be one for the history books!"

Miranda could tell looking at Ashley that that wasn't likely. Ashley was not a soldier anymore, but Miranda had to admit that Jacob was right. It would be one for the history books.