DISCLAIMER: Trigun and its characters belong to Yasuhiro Nightow.

Vash let a minute pass to make sure Meryl really was ok. She stayed like she was, head resting on him, safe from the storm Knives had caused in her. Safe, and happy to be so. Once he was sure nothing else would happen, he spoke.

"Meryl – just now, when you asked me to make it go away – did you feel anything?"

Happy look faded into something...not happy. Troubled. She didn't like thinking about just a couple minutes ago.

He tilted her head up. "He can't hurt you. Nothing can hurt you now. I won't let it. But I need to know. I need you to tell me."

Her hands took his, making sure she kept contact with him. Stayed locked on his eyes. Took a deep breath. For Vash…

"It wasn't me. There was something inside me that wasn't ne, forcing me to feel things I didn't want to feel. I didn't have any control over myself…"

Meryl started to look away in shame. Vash squeezed her hands, letting her know he was still with her. "Hey."

Eyes came back on his.

"You did nothing wrong. He –" Motherfuckinggoddamnfuckingratbastardshitbird and a hundred other strung-together descriptive swears flew through his mind in the blink of an eye. "– is responsible. You blame nobody but him."

"I need my control," she whispered.

He broke the hand-lock and put his arms around her again, holding close. His body kept threatening to go on strike, but his mind told it to shut up and do its job. Meryl was more important.

"I know you do. I know how much it matters to you, and I get it. Believe me, I get what it's like to not have any control over yourself." Also because of Knives.

"But you've got it back. Feel it. You're in charge. He put that in you, and you still dropped him. That's how in charge you are. Nobody breaks my Meryl."

Nobody breaks my Meryl. Damn right – she could do this!

"It had control and wouldn't give it back and then you held me and it went away and I just felt really calm and safe it was like when I shot him it felt like you were right there with me and that's what it felt like just now like you were a part of me and fought it away and I just felt safe like you were all around me and nothing could ever get to me that way again that's what it felt like."

The words all came out in a rush, quickly so she wouldn't have to think about it. But she got them out, and he caught every one. Kissed her gently. "Knew you could do it."

Meryl made a thoughtful noise. "What does it mean?"

Vash made his own thoughtful noise. "I have no idea."

"But you've been around over a century!" she protested. "Hasn't something like this ever happened before?"

He smiled and gave her ear a little tug. "Honey, we've never happened before. Far as I know, there have only ever been three humanoid plants. Tessla died –"

"Tessla?"

Vash's face darkened for just a moment. "She was the first of us. I don't want to talk about it.

"Her. Knives has no interest in humans beyond feeding the sand worms. And I've been too busy hunting him to ever have time for anyone. Add to that, humans don't get high levels of exposure to plants because of the bulbs. That means you and I are the first ever long-term plant-human interaction. We're in completely uncharted territory, so I have no idea what this actually means. Just what it is – for whatever reason, you're able to take from me whatever you might need – so far, we've seen gun handling, marksmanship, and inner control. And it seems to be not something you do consciously."

"Can I do it consciously?" she wondered.

Shrug. "Not a clue. I don't even know if it works both ways. Could I take from you? I wouldn't mind being the bossy one."

"Bossy?! You think I'm bossy? You really want this couch to be your bed tonight, don't you?"

Vash laughed. "That's more like my Meryl."

"Tch." She feigned annoyance, knowing she wasn't fooling him. No way would he be out of her sight come bedtime, nor she his; she was as concerned over his injuries as he was hers, and they needed to spend a night holding each other after being apart so long.

Didn't let herself think about what it would be natural for him to want besides holding.

"I'm not very science-minded," he went on. "I can't even begin to figure out how this works, only that it's something unprecedented. But I'll tell you who would be able to help."

"Who?"

"He's got a scientific mind, and he's done a ton of research on plant energy and power."

Meryl poked the good side of his chest. "Tell me who it is already!"

Cleared his throat, hating to say the name he knew would upset Meryl. "Knives."'

She stiffened, causing his arms to tighten around her again to get her to relax.

"No."

As not-fond of his brother as he was, Vash did see his worth. If Knives ever came around, he could be a great scientist for humanity, could even help make Gunsmoke – well, green was probably pushing it. Mottled, maybe. He could help make things better.

And he had done more research and knew more about plant natures than Vash. With his help, they might be able to figure out exactly what was happening. Determine its potential, limitations, and risks. Without his help, they were shooting in the dark.

He felt compelled to defend the practicality, since Meryl was always harping on him to be practical. "Of the two of us, he is the scientific one. He's got a better shot of figuring out what we're dealing with."

She pointed out, "Of the two of you, he is the one who wants to kill all of humanity and tried to – tried to – damn it, have you forgotten?"

Meryl hated that she couldn't put it into words. Hated that she couldn't say his name right now. Hated that she was secretly afraid to go back down there again without backup. Hated that her boasts of never being afraid of Knives had been proven wrong, even if she didn't admit it to anyone but herself.

Hated what she would have to tell Vash before they went to bed.

His scowl would make a pregnant woman give birth out of fright. "I haven't forgotten it for a second of looking at you. I fully intend to discuss the subject with him.

"But he could help."

Meryl shook her head. "At best, he doesn't like you. He certainly hates me by this point. And I don't feel comfortable having him know about this. Everything he learns, he tries to use against us. I don't want him involved."

Vash blew out a frustrated breath of air, hard enough that if ruffled Meryl's hair like a small breeze. She felt it and responded in kind, making his hair sway like tall grass.

He blew again. She blew again. They kept messing with each other like that until the tension was gone.

Meryl slid off his lap and curled up next to him. Vash's body silently screamed its thanks at her and cursed its owner.

He played with her hair, twirling strands of it. "So we have a sync with no real idea of what it is, how it works, or how it happened – although thinking about it, it could be a result of Knives messing inside your head. Or that may just have been the trigger for something that was already there. Who knows? And our best bet for researching it is a nix. Sound about right?"

Meryl cuddled closer. "We'll figure it out. We're smart enough together. And I'm just glad to know it's there, anyway."

"Oh? You don't want to know more? Be able to rely on it, control it?"

"I do. But right now, I just want to enjoy having you back. And enjoy having half a billion double-dollars."

Vash cleared his throat. "About that – we actually have a quarter billion."

She looked up at him. "What happened?"

He gave her the short version of events – fought the army of bandits, got double-crossed, got even, gave some of the money back to the broke town.

Meryl snorted when he finished. "Never trust lawyers."

Her husband chuckled. "Some people say the same of insurance agents."

"Nonsense! Insurance is a noble profession. The law, on the other hand, is very imperfect. Nobody ever has to practice insurance, but lawyers are always practicing the law. Insurance is clearly better."

Now his laugh was loud and clear. "Still my insurance girl."

Her hands went through his hair. "Still my broomhead."

She swore his eyes sparkled, looking into hers. "The whole time, I dreamed every night of being back with you," he said. "Not quite like this, but – damn it, Meryl Stryfe, anything with you is better than everything else."

Meryl thought of a house too empty. A bed too empty. A life too empty. "I don't feel right without you."

Vash kept her close, resting his head against hers. "Good thing I'm back, then. Now you can feel right. Starting tonight."

He had to know, before this went too far and she hurt him. Meryl took a deep breath, bracing herself.

"I need to tell you something."

The sparkle in his eyes became a sparkle of excitement. "Wait! Is it something important?"

Her face was neutral. "Yes."

"This is a great chance for an experiment, then."

Arched an eyebrow. "Experiment?"

Nod nod nod. "For the sync thing. I felt what you were feeling, or at least some of it. So you can take from me, but I can pick up on some of what's happening. Let's try to see how far that goes. You did want to work on this on our own."

"Well…ok. What should I do?"

He took her hands. "Just feel the emotion of what you want to say. Like before. We'll see what happens."

Meryl wasn't really sure how to do that; but hey, they both were making it up as they went along. If they weren't going to ask Knives for help – which they absolutely were not! – then she should at least try.

Closed her eyes and tried to feel, rather than think, what she had to tell Vash.

For his part, Vash tried to empty his mind and focus solely on Meryl. He had absolutely no clue how to go about any of this, but thought it a good idea to try to match his heartbeat to Meryl's. Tried to match her breathing. Relaxed his body and just focused on matching Meryl.

Picked up on something…what was it? A jumble of feelings, fear and trepidation at the top.

Then he was hit full-force with the image in her head.

"Stop. Vash, please stop! I can't do this!"

Vash looked in Meryl's eyes. "What?"

Her jaw trembled. "I can't, I just can't! I'm sorry, but I'm not ready yet. I want to, really…but I keep flashing back to Knives."

Eyes darkened. "You think that? You honestly think I'd come anywhere close to hurting you like that? You think I'm anything like him?"

Pushed off her, standing up and walking out. "I'm taking the couch tonight."

"Wait! It's not you, I just –" He slammed the door.

Meryl fell into her pillow, muffling her frustrated scream as her fist punched the headboard. She wanted to give Vash what he desired, but everything was so tumultuous inside her that she just couldn't do it. And now he had walked out on her.

They had been through so much recently. How much more could they take before she lost him for good?

Vash pulled Meryl completely into his arms, holding her against him and rocking her gently.

"You're not ready."

Her voice was soft against him. "You felt it?"

"Yeah. I got…something. A thought, an image, whatever. What matters is it worked. So we have something to start with.

"What matters even more is you don't have to worry. I won't push you, and I won't walk out on you. In any way, shape, or form."

Meryl looked up to meet his eyes, trying to explain. "I want to – I've missed you so much, and I really do want to, and I want to give you everything you should have, but every time I think about it I think about –"

He placed a finger over her mouth, shushing her. "What did I say? Anything with you is better than everything else. It's not about the sex, it's about you. If the rest of our time together was nothing but holding hands, I'd take it.

"You don't have to give me everything, insurance girl. You already are everything. That's why I took that fucked-up lousy job. Well, yeah, to keep everyone safe, sure. but – not to knock honest work, but you work in a bar, and that's not you. You left a whole life you'd built to be with me. In return, I haven't done anything, and that's never set right with me. This money doesn't just buy us new covers; it buys you what I've wanted to give you since you said 'I do' – a better life."

Meryl felt the truth in his words wash over her. She fought to hold back her tears as realization dawned that he saw her in the same way she saw him.

I'll be damned – Milly was right the whole time!

Then something else came over her. What was this sudden sense of regret? Why did it feel different from everything else coming at her?

Then it slammed into her so hard she almost got a headache.

"You think we got married too soon?" Incredulous that he would think that.

Vash was caught off guard by her question. Then understanding showed. "Clearly, this thing is going to have its bad points."

Meryl didn't say anything. Just waited for her answer. At this point, after so many ups and downs in one night, she wasn't sure she could say anything.

Things were so clear when he asked her. Just back from his fight with Knives, carrying his unconscious brother over his shoulder. Left Knives with the town doctor. Skipped his own treatment. Skipped water. Beelined straight for Meryl.

He looked like he'd just climbed straight out of hell. Covered in grit and dried sweat. Pale from dehydration. Hair hanging limp. Kept standing by sheer force of will that mandated he see her before anything else.

The most wonderful sight Meryl had ever seen. Because he came back.

"You don't risk your heart," he rasped. "You risk your life, but never your heart. But if you say yes – I promise you, take this chance and you'll never regret it. Marry me."

The last word he heard before passing out was, "Yes."

And now he thought they had gotten married too soon?

"Not too soon," he clarified. "But I shouldn't have asked so suddenly. I don't think either one of us was ready for how hard this would actually be."

Meryl breathed a sigh of relief. "That's all? You're surprised just because life is tough?"

Shook his head. "Not life, honey. Our life. I asked you without ever thinking about what marriage would actually mean. We never stopped to talk about what we would do or how we would live. Look at everything that's come of it."

"Our life together has come of it."

"A life you shouldn't have!" he exploded. "You shouldn't have to work in a goddamn dive just to try to keep up with the bills. You shouldn't have to have a husband who can't carry his weight because he has to watch over a brother whose main goal in life is a successful campaign of genocide. You shouldn't have to live this pathetic existence because you said yes!"

His guilt came over her. Guilt over asking her in the first place. Guilt over dragging her into his mess of a life. Guilt over asking her to be with him while he tried to save Knives. Guilt over…

She touched his cheek. "It's not your fault, darling. You said it yourself – he is responsible. Blame nobody but him."

Now it was Meryl who took Vash in her arms, supporting his weight. Meryl who held his head to her chest and rocked him gently. Made soft cooing sounds in his ear to calm him down. Felt him drawing upon her the same way she had him.

Well, that answered the question of whether it worked both ways.

"So many things we should have done differently," he murmured. "I should have done differently. So many things I didn't see coming."

"You kept your promise," she whispered in his ear.

He raised his head to look at her. "What?"

"You kept your promise. I don't regret anything we've gone through."

"But –"

"Shush, silly broomhead." Tapped his nose. "There are many things to work on, yes. We probably should have stopped and thought it through. But we'll work through everything. Hang on to each other and don't let go, remember? And how could I have any regrets when nothing matters as long as we have each other?"

She may not have been ready for sex, but she was more than ready for his kiss, soft and tender and sweet. This sync thing was unpredictable, but right how she enjoyed the pleasant emotions that went back and forth between them.

"You're right," he said when they finished. "So right. So much to work on, but thank you for reminding me we'll make it if we just fight for each other. I needed that."

Meryl grinned. "What you need is me. Just like I need you."

"True. I also think I need you in my arms the whole night."

She had just settled back into his embrace when it hit her. "The whole night! Shit! Milly should have been back by now!" Started to push herself up. "What if she hurt herself or something? She could be out there just waiting for help to come. Shit shit shit!"

Nearly fell over in surprise when Milly came out of the kitchen with a container of pudding. "What are you upset about, Meryl?"

"How did you get in here already?" Meryl demanded, trying to summon anger to cover the fright she had felt at the thought of Milly hurt and alone someplace. To cover the relief she felt that made her want to run and squeeze Milly. "We were sitting right here the whole time!"

"I came back a while ago," Milly said. "You two were halfway to home base. The house could have blown up and you wouldn't have noticed."

Meryl blushed furiously and tried to think of a suitable comeback. "We have to go take care of the bastard," she said lamely.

"I already fed him," Milly informed her between bites of pudding. "He was pretty rude, so I said he could wait for a bath until tomorrow and sprayed him with some air freshener. I hope Nicole doesn't behave as rudely as him when she gets older. I'd hate to have to ground her."

"You took care of him? By yourself?"

Milly nodded. "I wanted to have you help me, but I also didn't want to mess up your reunion with Mr. Vash. So I just made up my mind to do it myself. It's easier than before, him being shot and all."

Shame flooded Meryl. She had let go of her bravado from earlier in the night, admitting to herself that she didn't want to face Knives alone. And here, Milly had just made up her mind and done it. Not a scratch on her.

Vash rose and came over. Put his arm around Meryl and squeezed a little, letting her know it was ok. She didn't know if the sync was still going or if his gesture made a world of difference, but she felt better.

Oblivious to the subtleties, Milly came and hugged both of them. "Welcome back, Mr. Vash! Does you being back mean Nicole can come home tomorrow?"

He grinned. "Sure! I"ve been missing her as much as I have the two of you."

"Hooray! I'll start getting her room ready again." Milly ran upstairs.

Vash turned to Meryl. "It is getting late. You want to table this and start getting ready for bed?"

Meryl nodded. "I think so; it's been a very long night. There's a lot to sleep on. Are you coming, or do you want a snack first?"

Gestured at the shirt she had ruined in her haste to check his wounds. "Actually, I'm going to get a fresh shirt and a couple other things.

"Then I'm going to go sort some things out with my brother."