A/N: Hey Hey Hey bitches! Can I just tell y'all how much I love you guys! You're reviews all crack me up and make a cheesy smile on my face appear when I get the alert on my phone saying I got a new review, and my friend's look at me as if I'm cupcaking on the phone with some dude or chick. Can't believe you guys actually like this story, in all reality this is just how I talk. LenoraWinsdale and I were talking about if you guys have ever had a conversation with me over the phone or in person, this is just how I talk… except unlike Mitchie who says everything in her head I say it aloud.
Mell23: Yeah Alex is a fucker upper… glad you're liking it… I don't mind suggestions though… so if you got any, just throw 'em at me… not literally though… thanx babycakes
Fly like a Gmen: Of course u like Posey, he's the new Golden child! Honestly I am madd in love with Huff or as I call him Huff Daddy, got my rally thong and everything! I would so rape him! Yeah Beliebers be crazy with the death tweets. Yeah Selena def had a Jersey Shore tan going on. AHAHAHHAHAA TORTURE! Dude you are too awesome! Fear the beard dude.
Greatpretender27: It's alright sweetheart, I'll make you a superstar. We can go play together, I'll help you out ;)… ahahaha you are on it with everything about Selena! Down to the promise ring ahahaha. Katy's tweet was awesome. I favorited that! It's funny how when I read it I thought only dirty thoughts. Thanx buttercup.
Ad3n: hmm… it could possibly belong to the same person, or maybe there isn't a person at all =P…. you have a boyfriend, you have to somewhat be good with bats and balls, you have kept him around for 5 years ;) GET IT GIRL! We can play catch and then I'll show you how to hit it right ;) …. Ahahaha,did you want to sound sexual? Ahaha thnx hunn.
Camihere: Hi girlfriend! Hey don't get mad at Alex for holding onto memories, why're you hung up on your wallet then? Huh? Ahahaha JK Love you babe, and I need the card to go shopping… and stop drinking, the kid is crying because their father is a raging alcoholic! MUAH =*, I'm horny, come over!
LEATHERnGOLDlover: Dude what didn't happen at my house party? Ahahha wild indeed ;)… Yeah Selena and Taylor are awesome! Baby I make wishes come true, what did you want? Ahahaha… I think I updated soon enough, so what's my treat? Aahaha YOU want the lap dance, we can arrange that. I'll be clubbing all this week so if you catch me, I got you. ;)
Full360-2b-me: Memories aren't stupid, you're stupid, you cold hearted bitch! JK Ahahahaha… maybe she's holding on to her twin brother who passed away… maybe ;) you'll see… ahahhaa thanx hoe!
143: Aww I'm glad you're enjoyinh it hunny bunny. O you know Alex she's Hot & Cold… Katy Perry syndrome I think… thanx love.
Oh-hell-no: Happy New Year babe! Yeah I will not stop making fun of him on here until they stop dating… yup… If Justin hurts her I'm going axe murderer on his ass and I'm gonna spoon swag all over his face! Yeah these lil bopper hoes are getting crazy, acting as if Demi and Selena aren't top hoes and Bieber and the Jonas' could do any better. Yup they're both winners with loser boyfriends. Thanx sweetie.
Nvrshoutnvr: If by lady balls you mean her tits, I hope she doesn't calm em down, in fact I hope she keeps em excited! Ahahaha Thnx for the review babe.
RiddleMeThisBatman: DUDE you are my other half! LET ME GET A POUND OF YOUR SWEETEST CHEEBA! Ahahhaa love sir smoke-a-lot! Top 3 favorite shows high… ready … Family Guy, 70's show and Rob Dyrdrek's Fantasy Factory! Sure I can do a rap for Demena… did you want me to have Selena go Eminem on Papa Doc on Demi, or I can do Drake's style of rapping… your choice babygirl… thnx babe!
yyAnonymousyy: Ahahha finally someone who realizes my genius! God where the flying unicorn ball shits have you been? Dude you talk just like me, well from what you reviewed! Awesome twin! Thanx sweetness.
Azrael-Heywood: Thanx for loving this story hunn. Dude I wanna go to New Zealand! It's winter here! Come up and keep me warm ;) thanx babes!
MiSzOCh0A: well right back at ya babe.
(MItchie's POV)
How did I sleep?... Hmm let's see Alex totally flipped on me for a necklace… Are you fucking kidding me, a necklace! The last bitch who went off on me like that, it was because I punched her in the face at the airport, that I could see why you'd be mad. But a necklace, I told her I'd even replace that bitchhole necklace. But no! She was like get the fuck out and don't call me Lexy, well shitjizm don't you just make a bitch wanna go to rehab. What did Bieber give you that necklace or something, what's so special about it? It was like one of those Visa moments… Roses $40, gas to get around $20, the look on my face when you stop sex for a broken necklace, priceless.
"Hey Mitch." What the fuck monkeys… Nate this is the fucking girl's bathroom. OMG I knew you had a pussy.
"Nate? What are you doing in the girl's bathroom?"
"The dude's bathroom doesn't have mirrors, had to check my hair." Well someone was just busted being girly.
"That's not creepy at all."
"Neither is you writing Mrs. Russo in your notebook." Son of a bitchhole how does he know about those… yeah well at least I don't get back with the same ex-girlfriends over and over, at this rate you're gonna be the only single one out of your brothers, o wait you are, assfuck. "What are we still in middle school Mitch?" O shut up and go do Broadway you little skittle bitch… why are you a skittle? Because you're so gay you can taste the rainbow…
"What, no, that was, I was going to write a letter to Alex's mom… because I accidently hit their mailbox with my car the other day."
"Yeah nice try, Alex doesn't have a mailbox, she just has a slot at her door. Come on let's go meet everyone for lunch before you tell me you accidently killed her dog that was secretly a dragon." WTF what kind of dickhole buffoonery is a dragon dog? Who would think of that? Pothead.
"Yo dudes where you guys been?" Not playing baseball with our dead brothers… that's where Troy.
"O I saw Mitchie drop her notebook so I went and gave her a hand."
"So uhm, where's Alex?" Damn I bet you this chick does the finger to the back of the throat bent over the toilet boil with her hair tied back diet, she's never at cuntbastard lunch.
"I don't know, why don't you ask Taylor haha." Fucking cum stain cunt. You make one little outburst and people just repeatedly bring that shit up! I am not a hater!
"You guys are a real piece of work, so uhm Taylor do you know where Alex is?" The last I saw her you two were in the back of a car looking surprised as hell.
"O she didn't come to school today, not sure why though."
"Dude didn't you go to her house yesterday?" O you mean when she turned all Chris Brown on me and I thought my life was in deep shit… she was raining down on me and I didn't have an umbrella ella ella ay…
"O yeah, she seemed a little different yesterday." And by different I mean she went from Alex Russo to that pop diva Mikayla and she went from nice to calling me a has been bottle blonde bra stuffer.
"O well I'm sure she's fine, probably just having a bad day. Did anything happen yesterday?" What the starburst penetrator Gabby why would you assume something went wrong. Figgity fuckhole I just wanna Sucker Punch your mutt ass.
"Uhm no, just her necklace broke." It's not like it was some magical glow in the dark love necklace given to her from some werewolf.
"Which necklace? The one she always wears and never takes off?" O sure Taylor just rub it in my face, you don't see me dangling a picture of Joe Jonas & Camilla Belle in your face. Geez what a way of seeing someone on fire and instead of throwing your water bottle on them you decide it'd be better to just piss on them.
"Uhm, kind of… well… what had happened was…"
"No what needs to happen is, you need to replace it, I think that was like her favorite necklace." Well vaginawhore Taylor how would you like it if I just cut you off and said 'Wait, I'mma let you finish, it's just…' geez toast to the douchebags…
"OK I'm sure I can figure something out." Hmm… replace the necklace… lots of money… Macaroni frame with my picture in it… thoughtful and handmade… hmm
"Hey guys what's the difference between jelly and jam?" WTF Shane what are you fucking smoking …
"What?"
"I can't jelly my dick down your throat!" Eww what the fuck Shane! Is this because people keep asking if you're gay?
"Shane you are such a perv!" That's right Gabby you tell 'em, your boyfriend would never say some repulsive shit like that, no he would skip his basketball game to be a fruitcake and sing with you.
"Hey I just heard it from someone OK!" Yeah was it the same someone who told you that wearing round glasses and a bandana made you look more hip?
After school I decide to go to my house and think of something to make it up to Alex… O bitchcunt hoarsefuck my insane assfuck mother is home… let's see how I can avoid this… last time she made me help in the kitchen I fell and ended up with flower all over me… UGH… shit's she's looking at me…
"Hey honey, how was school?" O well that almost sounded so Disney mom of her to say…
"It was alright… OK well I gotta go to my room and grab something and then I'm leaving."
"Well, where you going?" Geez lady I'm not all up in your pasta bowl…
"I just gotta go take care of something mom!" Shit Mitchie why did you yell? Great, now she's looking at you like she's gonna deport your ass to Costa Luna or something.
"Alright Mitchie, what did you do? Or what dumbass thing is it that you're about to do?" Ahh, there goes mommy dearest…
"Nothing it's just I accidently broke this girl's necklace." Was it my fault I was just trying to rip her shirt off for her, lil Lena and lil Sel looked like they were suffocating and needed a breather.
"What the fuck Mitchie! Great, now we're going to have to replace it. What the fuck we're you doing that you accidently broke some girl's necklace?"
"I WAS TRYNA GET MY DICK WET!" Holy bitchhole cunt whore! O shit too much gangsta rap and not enough country music Mitchie…
"Mitchie what the fuck are you talking about you don't have a dick! I know you like holes not poles and you're all Adam & Steve and Alice & Eve, but you do not have a dick." Well shitjizzle bitch, you just lost your chance to not be put in a home when your ass is all old and wrinkly.
"No mom, I you didn't hear me right I said I was just trying to get it out of her hair net, when she was uhm… helping the lunch lady, yeah."
"O is that what you said honey, sorry, you know I was on the freeway and this bastard hag was honking their horn at me for like 10 minutes straight… it's like 'Hey buddy, you don't own the road! I'll stay at a stop light as long as I want until I find that song on my iPod, so I guess my hearings still acting up from that." Hey, she was the idiot taking forever at the stop light? Stupid cuntfucker…
"Yeah OK mom I gotta go look for something, nice talk… bitch got some issues…"
"What was that Mitchie?"
"Huh o, nothing I said I got a big itch and hey! Are those new shoes?"
"Actually…" O for heaven's sake why can't I escape this woman…
"O well can't talk about it now, gotta go mom." Run Mitchie run as fast as you can, run as if Selena Gomez was waiting for you in your room in nothing but that 2 piece blue bikini… minus the fag with the purple 3D swag glasses… run like you're Forrest!
I know just what to give her, the chain off my necklace that my mom got me while she was working with that recording company in China… yeah that'll work. Bitch better like it too, this necklace means a lot to me, I wore this bitch during my first performance. I can't believe I'm even giving it to this girl when she won't even give me any. Jewelry is for hot bitches that put out, otherwise here's a thank you card and a stick of double mint… go double your pleasure bitchslut.
"Hello." Holy jizzmonkey she looks just like my mom.
"O hi uhm, Mrs. Russo I'm one of Alex's friends, I was wondering if she was home." There ya go Torres, there goes them manners, surprisingly enough, you for sure didn't get that from your mama.
"O yeah she is, but I don't think she wants to see anyone right now sweetie." Aww you may look like my mom, but you certainly do not act like her. If it was her she'd probably say some bullshit like 'O yeah go on up, go find out why she's being such a emo wreck and locking herself in her room for mold to just grow around her body, it's probably some bitch, I have no idea why she's a lesbian, bitches can be such big headache sometimes.' And that is why she is mommy of the year.
"O well Mrs. Russo I have something I really need to give to her, please."
"Ok sure honey, but if she asks, I didn't go down without a fight."
"Thanks Mrs. Russo, it really means a lot to me." O well, would you look at this pleasant child, looks like mommy taught you right, and by that I mean do everything opposite of what she does.
"Sure, she's up in her room, go right on ahead." Shit I wish mommy would let hot bitches just go right on ahead to my room. If you're asking if I just called myself a hot bitch, I'll let you be the judge of that ;) *swaying my hips as I walk away* o yeah, get it girl!
OK time to get ready to be slapped right across the face. Please don't be angry, and please possibly be lying there in all your naked glory while flipping thru porn and eating grapes, the purple ones not the green ones.
"Michelle, what are you doing here? You come to break my bracelet too?" Hellos have gotten so crazy these days. What ever happened to 'Hey, how you been. I just made my bed, wanna unmake it with me?... naked'
"Look Alex I'm really sorry, I mean it, I didn't mean to break your necklace, I guess I just got ahead of myself, but I brought you something."
"Michelle, look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry with you. It's just that necklace meant a lot to me, it's fine. It's stupid to try and hold on to certain memories with objects. Just because something disappears it doesn't mean the memory's gone." Babe you can just hold onto me, I'll never disappear.
"It's OK Alex, uhm here I brought you something. I know it's not your chain, but maybe you can use it for your pendant." I ain't saying she a gold-digger…
"What is this Michelle?" Obviously it's a nice gold chain…
"It's a chain for you, it was mine but I figured you could have it. It's my lucky chain that my mom got me, I wore it to my very first performance."
"I can't take this Michelle, it's too valuable to you." O you weren't concerned with taking my heart away… Aztec bitch…
"No take it, I want you to have it." Seriously bitch just take it… I hate when people play this game of, 'O no, I can't take that, that's too much' when secretly bitch you know you want it. It's like when someone offer's to pick up the check you say no but secretly you're like fuck yes, I should've ordered more.
"And why do you want me to have it?" Because your sex face is amazing!
"Well because, it's important to me and so are you… uhm… and because I uhm… I love you." O shit no, dammit Mitchie! You had to go there…
"What did you just say? You can't mean that. No Michelle you can't love me." O hell no you're not just gonna walk away from me, you wanna be dramatic fine! Let's be dramatic o hell yes I grabbed your arm…
"But I do Alex I love you." It does feel good to actually mean what you say… hmm I should try it more often…
"NO! MITCHIE STOP SAYING THAT! AND STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE ME THAT LOOK!" OMG how was I looking at her? We're my eyes turning all black? That's not a vampire sweetheart that's lust…
"Alex what are you talking about?" If anyone knows please let me know my number is 415****** like I'd give it out that easy… sober.
"Mitchie just go!" 2x in 2 days… even people on the Real World don't get kicked out this easy!
"Alex I'm telling you I love you, and you're kicking me out?"
"Well I don't love you." Mmm hmm heard that… wish I didn't hear that… but I heard that.
"Alex, please just look at me… I honestly love you." Come on I added honestly in there, you gotta know I'm serious.
"STOP SAYING THAT AND STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!" O fuckhole bitchness she's crying, I can't take hot girls crying… unless they're in a white tank top and they cry enough to turn it into a wet t-shirt contest. So what do you do if a hot girl is crying in front of you? Duh you pull her in and caress her back, until she gives you that OK smile and is ready to fuck.
"Shh… it's OK Alex, please I'm here for you, you can tell me anything. I promise nothing will change my opinion of you." Unless you told me you're a hermaphrodite cheerleader like Rachel.
"OK Michelle, you wanna know who I am"
Alright bitches… I'll dedicate this chapter to RiddleMeThisBatman! Woo! Only b/c you are one down ass bitch! How's getting skyhigh, dinner, some drinks and some movie cuddling sound? I'll even let you feel my heartbeat ;) hmm wonder where I got that from! Xoxo… REVIEW! And for those of you that do you guys are the reason I keep up with my updates =)… whoever my 100th reviewer is I'll send you a naked pic ahahaha JK… maybe *eyebrow raise* that or I let you decide what you want a chapter to be about! Wink wink, nudge nudge, tickle tickle, break the pickle! Kay off to meet my girls!