Christmas Eve: The Hummel-Hudson family

Author's Notes:

So I tried to make a cute chapter, but it ended up darker than I thought it would #VivaLeAngst

Please leave a review, that would be totally great.

*italic means flashback* (flashbacks will also have a "*" to mark where it begins and where it ends for a better visualization) P.s.: I was thinking about underlining the whole thing, but it just wouldn't be aesthetically pleasing... If you have any tips on that, let me know.

The conversation at the dinner table went on smoothly, everyone joined in at some point or another, which was weird, because I wasn't used to that at all, at my house, we rarely spoke to each other in a daily basis, at the table, the possibility of a conversation was even lesser.

Laughter surrounded the walls, voices going and coming, with the metallic sound of the knives and forks working fast, hitting the plate non stop. Stories being told while we enjoyed the lovely meal that Kurt's step mother made.

I was sitting next to Kurt, the dinner table only had space for four, Kurt's dad took a small white plastic chair from the basement and put it on the table for me.

"How's Glee Club going?" Kurt asked, looking at Finn that was sitting across the table. His eyes glowed for just mentioning his former group.

"We miss you Kurt" Finn growled, he had just put a big piece of meat in his mouth, the dark red sauce dripping down slowly on his chin. In every word he spoke, I was able to see the piece of meat he was trying to chew running from one side to the other inside his mouth, hitting the insides of his cheeks, like a boxer player being thrown around the ring. "It's not the same without you" Finn added, to every word that found its way out of his mouth, a jet of spit would follow it closely

"Finn!" Kurt practically shouted, moving away from the drops of saliva from the mouth of his half-brother, it looked like a small missile of 'salivated food'. "Have some manners" slowly inclining his head to my direction, eyes still fixed on Finn. "we have a guest"

I looked at the boy sitting in front of me with a smile on my lips taking a sip of the orange juice that filled my glass. "it's all good, Finn"

"Awesome bro" He said, putting another huge piece of meat in his mouth, holding big transparent glass of water that now was stained with Finn's fingerprints because of the sauce, taking it to his mouth, watering the piece of meat that was resting on his tongue.

"Mom" Finn muttered, he looked at me, his eyes were filled with confusion, his eye brows glued together, making his forehead frown, it looked like that the lines in his forehead had been svelte by an experienced sculptor. He raised his fork and began to circulate it in the air in front of his eyes, his expression reminded me of a mathematician who was trying to do an impossible count or a philosopher thinking too hard about his existence. "Why Kurt can bring his boyfriend, and I cant?" He asked, looking between his mother and Burt. That's not fai-"

"FINN?!" Kurt said, his voice rippling between notes, sounding sometimes very low, but sometimes very acute as well. His pale face starting to gain a pinkish color with every half of a second.
Carole had a smile on her lips while she exchanged a look with Burt, who just looked at Kurt with his right eyebrow raised, adjusting his cap on his head.

With the word "boyfriend" I felt my heart racing inside my chest and my cheeks begin to heat up, I transferred my gaze to my plate, while I shrunk in the small chair I was sitting on, trying to hide my face from the Hummel-Hudson's.

"What?" Finn answered Kurt, the confused expression still on his features . "No NO NO" He added defensively seconds later, after finishing chewing the piece of meat in his mouth, shaking his hands frantically in front of his body "I didn't mean, you know, bring my boyfriend, I meant Rachel. Come on Kurt, I'm not a gay dude, nothing against gay dudes, like, I'm all good for gay dudes doing gay stuff though bro"

"Don't bro me" Kurt whispered sourly beside me then making his voice louder towards Finn "you shouldn't ask that to people, he's our guest after all"

When Finn opened his mouth to answer, Carole started talking "you can't because Rachel spend the holidays with her dad's" She looked at the huge boy beside her with a look full of love, she was so little by his side, it made me think about how it should had been to give birth to such a huge person, then my brain reminded me that we all start not as smaller and compact version of ourselves but as babies, I looked at Burt and imagined the doctors holding him with his cap on and congratulating his mother with 'its a boy'. Which reminded me as well that I probably should have taken my medication before coming, so I wouldn't be thinking about giving birth or how cute a smaller and compact version of Kurt would have been. brain behave yourself! "And remember the last time we invited her in for Christmas?

"Ya" Finn said, having a flashback inside his head of the event of last year, making his body tremble slightly, making the rest of the table laugh.

"And besides" his mother added "you're grounded for making Sam and Brittany believe that herpes is actually a friendly monster allergic to tomatoes, remember?"

"It was totally worth it, though" he replied laughing.

I looked up to Kurt with a curious expression."Do I wanna know?"

He smiled and answered quietly "About the herpes monster, because that would make a great movie" I laughed at the comment, because it totally would be a great movie, especially if Michael Bay got the rights for the movie, making the herpes monster explode everything. Sweet. "About Rachel, its not really a big deal, you know? She came here and made everyone kinda of go crazy, with her 'Rachel madness' that was increased severally by the holidays." He rolled his eyes "She almost burnt the house down trying to make a souffle"

"But then" Finn murmured, his agile eyes inspecting my whole being "Why doesn't Blaine has to spend the holidays with his parents too? Did he burn a soufflé too because that would totally make sense" Kurt sent an angry look at Finn, making the light confused look on his brother's face turn instantly into pure terror.

"Its alright" I said, mostly for Kurt who was still staring at his brother with his burning eyes "My parents, they are traveling..." I started, giving a small pause at the middle of the phrase, thinking if I should continue it, or not. "...they don't really care where I go anyways" I eventually said, a hint of sadness surrounded my voice like a faithful lover, even though I was trying to not show emotion through my tone. I failed miserably at that task.

I could feel Carole's eyes resting on me, she had a sad expression on her face, looking at me like a worried mother would look at to her son, she was holding Burt's hand over the table. Burt already knew that, Kurt called him yesterday when I had just said that I would end up staying at Dalton for the holidays.

"*" "But dad" Kurt groaned on the phone, the first thing he did when we got home from our 'date' was question me about the holidays "Blaine can't spend Christmas by himself" He looked at me, sharing a weak sympathetic smile at my direction "No one should" I only looked to my feet. I couldn't lie, it would be nice to be around actual people on Christmas for a change. No one would stay at Dalton, but a few boys who would never speak to each other. "Okay. Alright. Fine dad, I'll tell him. Love you" Kurt said to the small device leaning on his ear, his smile gaining strength from every word that was said on the other end. He hung up and beat his hands fast together with claps of joy. He put his arm around my shoulder and pointed to the end of the hallway, as if we were in a zoo and he was showing me this really cool and rare animal "Dear visitors, in this case, Mr. Anderson" he said changing the tone of voice, mimicking the voice of an actual zoo instructor, like that one character in Jurassic Park that everybody loves but no one cares enough to remember the name "You will be staying at the Hummel-Hudson house hold for the next days, enjoy your stay and don't feed the animals" I smiled at the excited tone of his voice "I mean Finn, by the way" he laughed. "He'll literally end you for food and well, I would miss my roomie if that happened"

"That will be awesome" I said excitedly, making his smile go even bigger. "*"

"Well," Kurt coughed, trying to change the subject. "At least you can be graced with my presence Anderson." Pretending to throw his nonexistent long hair back, behind his shoulders, changing the tone of voice to mimic the main characters of White Chicks

"Oh thanks goodness, I don't know what I would do without you, Hummel " I sighed with a mock-relief kind of tone, making everyone laugh, lighting back the mood.

"How's school, kiddo?" Burt asked, looking to his son. Since Kurt had entered the school, he hadn't been able come home yet, the only time he was, it was for Burt's wedding, and they didn't spend much (any) time talking about school that day.

"It's alright" He answered "everyone is super nice and friendly but..." Kurt added, poking the food on his plate with his fork "But I miss my girls, you know?" He looked at Finn, who had an unhappy face by the mentioning of only "girls" on Kurt's sentence, forgetting the rest of the gang. Kurt noticed and added quickly "I miss everyone actually, Dalton is just... different. "

who had an unhappy face by the mentioning of only "girls" on Kurt's sentence, forgetting the rest of the gang. Kurt noticed and added quickly "I miss everyone. Dalton is just... different"

The conversation lasted a few more minutes, Carole began to talk about her work and how she had a patient who used a large amount of drugs before being hospitalized. That when he arrived at the hospital, he started to think that world turned upside down, literally, and he claimed that he was Frank N Furter. Kurt asked Burt how the business in the garage was going, he said that he was almost starting to miss the place. Putting a lot of emphasis on the 'almost'. Finn told us about how they managed to actually build up a Christmas tree for the Glee Club, but that made them demolish it, in a "super uncool way", quoting Finn.

See them like that made my heart shiver. I Knew Kurt had a great relationship with his dad since the first time I laid my eyes on the figure of Burt Hummel. How many thing he found himself sacrificing to put Kurt on a private school, in a safe environment, I saw the big silhouette talking to the principal for hours and hours to see if this school would fit the best for his little boy. Kurt's relationship with his father was something that would awake a feeling that I hated inside of me, that I always tried to lock it up, jealousy. I was jealous of how caring of his son, was, always being there for his kid. When Kurt told me how his dad reacted to the news of him being gay and how okay and understanding he was about it, it made my heart fill with hope and happiness for my friend, but I could also feel it breaking a little inside my chest, the pieces falling on my stomach, making my head dizzy. Jealous because my relationship with my father was virtually nonexistent.

I would try hard, but even though I tried, I just couldn't imagine dad being so protective and caring about me the way was with Kurt. I just couldn't imagine him being happy for who I grew up to be.

"*" I can still feel the cold eyes, filled with disgust that took over my father's features, ashamed of his own son, when I came out to my dad and brother. I remember him violently taking the belt off his waist and raising his right hand above his head with a fist tightly holding the leather piece "tonight" he murmured "I will make you become a real man, you little faggot trash"

Dad was the first person to ever call me faggot and the only one that ever truly hurt. Before being able to apply the first blow at me, Cooper, my older brother, came in intervention between dad's hand and my face.

"If you hit him father, you will have to go over me" Cooper said, leaving his body in front of mine, stretching his arms around my body, trying to put some distance between me and my father, I could feel his hand sweating and shaking over my arm. Dad looked at us. Within his eyes, a darkness that I would never imagine be able to exist, his jaw locked in an expression of pure rage that covered his entire face.

Dad pushed him out of the way, the boy fell to the floor making a low hollow noise, I would find out that he had injured his right ankle the next day. Dad turned his gaze to me and started attacking my body with the strap of the belt, causing me to fall on the floor, cringing in a fetal position, trying to dodge his punches. One. Two. Ten. Twenty. I lost count of how many times he would have hit me that night "Man up, Blaine" He said, taking one last look at my mother, who upon hearing the noises coming from the living room, she ran from the kitchen, stopping in shock at the sight that awaited for her in the wide room.Dad turned his gaze to the other side, looking between me and my brother, both sprawled on the floor before walking away, thundering through the door, going straight to his office.

That was the only time that dad ever hit me, after that, he would ignore me completely for most of the time, when recognized that I existed, he would just yell about how much of a disappointment I was. After coming out three years ago, and being abused mentally by my own father, my mother would suffer as well in his hands trying to defend me. when she heard about Dalton's history, mom came up with a plan, she decided to stay with dad so I could stay safe at Dalton. She had dropped college to stay with dad years ago and now she didn't really have a job that could afford paying for a private school as Dalton, and to make things worse, I would not have Cooper to have my back anymore when he moved to Los Angeles months after the incident, I had to come in terms that dad was always going to look at me that way, disgusted and ashamed. I would never be able to make him proud. Nothing I did was good enough. Who I was would never be good enough. "*"

"Blaine, sweetie, are you okay?" Carole asked with obvious concern which surprised me, to say the least. Why on earth would he think something was wrong? I quickly turned to face her.

"I'm fine, Ma'am" I said with no enthusiasm.

"You just look a bit off, kiddo" Burt added, inspecting my face, looking for a hint on my face that could show him what was going on in my head, exactly like Kurt would do when I was being distant back at our dorm. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yes, sir. I'm doing great, " I lied, showing one of my best smiles. "This evening has been amazing" and that wasn't a lie. I was having fun, hearing Finn babbling about his school and Carole talking about her patients, or Burt trying to eat candy and Kurt fighting him off as if he was the paternal figure between the both of them. I was having fun, but my brain doesn't seem to enjoy that much, making me feel bad in a blink o f the eye.

When he opened his mouth to make another question, Kurt interrupted, looking at me quickly, with a "we will talk about this later" kind of expression before looking at his father "Dad!" He said, taking his father's hand away from the bowl. Carole had just poured a small bowl of peach for every one who was sitting on the table, then placed a large orange bowl in the center of the dining table, full of cream. While Burt questioned me, he had caught the big bowl of cream, holding a spoon with the other hand, the man picked up a considerable portion of cream, ready to pour over the peach when Kurt noticed "You know you can't eat that" Kurt said with a worried look on his face "remember, your heart dad"

"I'll be fine, son" Burt reassured his son "its just a small spoon" he murmured, trying to bargain with his kid, that wasn't taking any of it.

"Dad" Kurt put the cream jar next to my plate and crossed tightly his arms across his chest, the boy's gaze was a mixture of worry and restraint toward his father.

"Alriiight" Burt said, dragging the word, making a tiny pout with his lips to finish the sentence, while Carole stroked his shoulder lightly, laughing loudly.

"Well there's a game on, so if you will excuse me" Burt got up from his chair, picking up his small plate with peach leftover on the bottom, leading his feet to the sink. "Do you need any help or anything, love?"

"It's alright, honey." Carole stood up. "It won't take more than a couple of minutes and I'll be right there."

"Go sit and relax," she said, giving small kiss on his lips.

Finn quickly shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth, bringing his small bowl and glass on to his mom's hands and hurried into the living room after Burt. "Who's playing today, Burt?"

Me and Kurt stood up at the same time, crowding our small plates and cups used in our arms, going to the sink, which was already filled with a stack of dishes and pans, balancing the dirty dishes o top of it. "Do you need a hand with cleaning up?" I asked the woman next to me with a smile on her face.

"Oh that's sweet of you, but I'll be alright." Carole said with a sweet smile covering her whole face, putting two yellow gloves on her hands and opening the tap in front of her body "Why don't you boys go and watch the game?"

"Okay" Kurt said, returning the smile of his stepmother, holding my hand and leading me toward the couch in the living room. Burt sat in a brown armchair next to the sofa where Kurt had took me, resting both hands on his knees, vibrating with a wrong pass from one of the rival players of his team on TV. Finn sat on the floor, his wide back was pressed against the couch where Kurt and I had just sat down,his eyes were fixed on the small TV screen, his eyes trained on every move that was happening on the screen, providing an amazing amount of attention that I've never imagined, even from knowing him for a few hours, that Finn would be able to provide to anything to every comment made by the TV's commentator.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked me. Different from everyone he didn't ask me if I was okay, he knew I wasn't okay and he knew me well enough to know that I would lie if he asked me that question, so he asked me what was wrong. That was one of the reasons that made Kurt an unique kind of friend. His eyes concentrated studying my face, paying attention to every change of attitude in my features.

"I'm fine" I lied, looking down. I hated lying to Kurt, he was just trying to help, why couldn't my brain just let him in?!

"Blaine, seriously?" Kurt asked again, nervously running his fingers on his hair "I can tell when there's something off with you from a mile away." He smiled, and stared at my eyes. "What's wrong?

"Its just-" I stuttered "its just nice, you know? See you all together, happy, enjoying each other companies." I whispered as Finn and Burt howled with a touchdown that had just been narrated by the shrill voice of the commentator "I'm kinda of jealous, to be very honest" I said smiling even though my eyes didn't share the same opinion as my lips, looking at Kurt, that was only hearing what I have to say with full concentration his jaw moving slightly "You and your dad's relationship."I specified, watching the boy sitting next to me, looking him straight in the eyes, the light that was bouncing off the television in his body, making Kurt's body look like a mixture of black and white and blue in contrast to the lack of light "I never thought it was possible, to be so... good." Kurt brought his hand to mine, holding it tightly. I could tell by his tone that he knew. He understood. The only person I've found myself not hiding who I really was for the past few years was Santana, pretending to be someone else to everyone around but her, she would be the only person that I felt comfortable enough, safe enough, to be myself. But now things were different. She was still my safe place, but not the only one, Kurt had entered in my life and changed how things used to be. Even though she was in a place that I once was, Kurt had already been through it and he could fully understand my thoughts in a personal level.

I'd finally feel safe around someone else, I felt safe around him, I felt like I could do whatever I'd put my mind into, that I could be whoever I wanted to be, that I could finally be myself. Sometimes, when the night would fall, the questions and doubts would fall upon my shoulder, I would question everything, the slightest possibility of how Kurt affected me, how I could be so certain that it was safe to trust Kurt, and some nights, I wasn't so certain. But when my brain would buzz inside of my head, the constant noise saying otherwise. The constant fear of rejection swimming around my being, I would look into his eyes, I would hear his voice, I would feel his tender touch, and forget all the doubts at the very same instant. Knowing that Kurt would be there, to help me out, to stop me from drowning in my own thoughts. "its just different from what I'm used to."

"Oh" Kurt let out of his lips. "So you better get used to it, Anderson" Kurt smiled, playing with my fingers in his hands, caressing my skin with the soft touch from his thin fingers "because you're never spending another holiday by yourself. Ever again"

"Thanks Kurt"

"You will never be lonely again" he promised under his breath, as Carole entered the room and sat on Burt's Armchair, she leaned against the man's resting body sitting in the chair, as he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with his wife's while he vibrated with another touchdown. "I won't let you" Kurt concluded, resting his head against my shoulder, looking at our hands together resting upon his black jeans and smiling "Not anymore, Anderson, because I'll be right there. With you. Making your life way awesomer" I leaned my head on top of his, feeling the soft touch of his hair on my cheek, tickling my skin with the soft touch, a shampoo smell coming into my nostrils, a soft smell of strawberry mixed with chemicals. I looked down, watching the boy in the poor light that came from the TV and rested over his features, the image of the boy against my body, making me smile. "Thanks, Hummel-boy"