Dib laughed-this was actually pretty fun. It was almost like he was flying, and he was going much faster then he could've ever run. It was no wonder Zim always caught him when he was on his spider legs.
"Hey, how long have you been…you know…not liked?" Zim' eyes widened, but he let out a dejected sigh.
"Probably since Zim was made, about 160 years ago. I mean, the Horrible Painful Overload Day happened only minutes after I was made, and everything just kind of went downhill from there. Everything I touch blows up-actually, it's a surprise I haven't destroyed Earth, just by accident. But there's no way to explain everything…" Suddenly, Dib turned around.
"I have a confession to make. You remember when you lost your Pak and it attached to me?" Zim nodded slowly.
"Well, a lot of your memories stuck. I remember a lot, so I had kind of already figured out that you were defective. I was just afraid that you would kill me if I said anything." Dib lowered his head, not sure what Zim would do. Suddenly, he heard the last thing he expected. Laughter. Crazy, insane laughter.
"Dib-hyuman…you think I didn't know? I just never wanted to admit to myself that I wasn't just favored by the Tallest! Somewhere in the back of my mind after the trial a few months ago I knew. I was officially ruled defective by the Control Brains, but when they were trying to erase me, the defective Pak led them to go insane. I only survived on pure luck." Dib smacked his head-that's why Zim was gone for a few days. He himself had been the one who'd lead the revolution to overthrow Gir. So that's how Gir took over with that laser-Zim was gone. I'd better keep a closer eye on that robot.
As they rounded the corner, Dib saw the glowing green house had loud music coming out-from passing TV's on the street, Dib knew it was the theme to the Scary Monkey Show. It's stupid…seriously, who wants to watch a dirty monkey staring at a camera for a half- hour? People like Gir, I guess... Both dropped to the ground to avoid detection, and they passed a few neighbors, looking at both of them. Dib looked down-he and Zim were still wearing the same outfit, but the neighbors were staring more at Zim. Zim looked confused until he realized that he wasn't wearing his disguise.
"Ever heard of Halloween?" Dib said slowly. It took a few moments, but the light bulb went on and they turned back to their lawns.
Dib hesitated by the fence, nervous the gnomes would attack. Zim walked right through, then turned back to gesture with his finger to Dib. Dib laughed a little internally, wondering if Zim even knew it looked he flipped people off when he pointed. He walked forward slowly, sighing in relief when the gnomes didn't even turn to look at him.
"They're programmed to not attack those with Paks. It cuts down on vaporizing other Irkens who's come to visit." Dib shrugged-it made sense. He pushed the door open-Gir had left the base unlocked, as usual. His hair got blasted backward by the sudden noise-Gir must have somehow convinced the computer to double the usual maximum volume. Dib could almost feel his eardrums melting.
"GIR!" Zim and Dib screamed at the same time. By some miracle, the android actually heard them and turned to look. He was wearing his costume, but the head was down, like a hoodie.
"Aww, Dibby came to play!" Gir said as he muted the TV. He pointed his hand at the screen, preparing to turn it back on.
"NO!" Dib yelled as Zim made a loud noise-it sounded like he was speaking a foreign language, but much faster. Gir turned back to his master, his head hanging. Dib actually felt a bit sorry for the cute little robot.
"Imma sorry, Masta. I'm gonna play with Pig!" He said, perking up a bit before racing away. Dib turned to Zim.
"What was that? What did you say?" Zim rubbed his throat.
"I never realized how hard it is to speak Irken when your Pak is still programmed for English. I just told him how bad he was being, then gave him a threat about disassembling him again." He shrugged. "Do you want to make waffles?" Dib looked at Zim.
"Ummm, not really. Ever since I saw those mutant demon squids and you throwing up, I kind of lost any appetite for waffles." Zim pivoted on his boots, glaring at Dib.
"And how did you see that?" Dib started sweating-even at a truce Zim would be angry about a spy cam.
"Umm, a few months ago I told Gir to plant a spy cam in your house. He put in the kitchen…but it broke after your robots went on the rampage when you beat the squid. By the way, how would a plunger help?" Zim continued glaring at him until he realized that Dib hadn't seen anything of any use.
"The plunger let me take out their brains, Dib-hyuman. No more stupid questions."
"But why did you even have it?" Zim shrugged.
"Gir got it from somewhere. That's where I get half of my hyuman things." Zim headed to the trash can, pointing then at Dib, then the toilet. Dib groaned-it was still gross.
"All right…" He climbed in. Luckily, there was no water in it, but it was still disgusting. His heart jolted as the lid closed, enclosing him in darkness. He waited, but after a few seconds it reopened into the labs. Zim was drinking something from a bottle-Dib was shocked to see that it was water-but much cleaner than any water he'd seen. The water they normally drank was light blue, and sometimes glowed lightly-this water was completely clear, free of any toxins.
"How can you…?" Zim laughed at the surprised look on Dib's face.
"I'm only allergic to the toxins in the impure water you hyumans drink. Normal water is fine. This is purified." Zim hesitated for a moment, then muttered something under his breath, tapping his Pak. The computer dropped a bottle into Zim's hand. "Want some?" Dib shrugged, than nodded. If it's purified, then it probably would taste better than normal water. When Zim stepped forward, Dib concentrated and let one of the wires poke out from the Pak, wrapping it around Zim's hand. Zim instantly let go of the water, letting Dib pull it back. When Dib unscrewed the cap, Zim commented on his precision.
"Wow, you're better with your Pak in a few hours then some smeets are in the first few years. The Irken DNA must've come from a top rank soldier." Dib wasn't really listening-the water tasted amazing. It was free of the rough, metallic taste he'd gotten used to. It didn't even have a grainy texture-it was pure and clean.
"This is amazing!" Dib said, tucking the last bit into his Pak for later after re-screwing the cap on tightly. Zim held up his hand, pointing at Dib's Pak.
"That's probably not a good idea. If it spills, no telling what could happen." Dib blushed-he was still getting used to the idea that a piece of machinery was keeping him alive. He pulled it out again, draining the last bit.
"What should I do with it?" Zim held up his own water, letting a wire take it into the ceiling.
"The computer will recycle and reuse it." Dib felt a bit silly, but held his own bottle up. A thick gray wire snaked towards his arm, he tossed the bottle in the air, letting the wires catch it. Suddenly he got hit by cool metal-the computer had let Gir down.
"Hiya Dibby! You gonna play wit' pig and meee?" Dib tried to shake his head, but the insane robot only gripped tighter. Dib turned to Zim for help, but he was only laughing at Dib's predicament, one he'd found himself in many a time. Finally, Dib realized that he had a Pak. He let the thick wires slide out, prying Gir off of him.
"Go watch TV." Dib said firmly. Gir smiled, pulling a bag of popcorn from somewhere.
"Okeedokkee!" Gir replied, flouncing up the stairs. Dib turned to look back at Zim.
"He's pretty easy, space boy, when you know how to handle him. So, want to try playing video games?" Zim shrugged.
"Fine, Dib-hyuman. Zim will boot up the system." As Zim worked his Irken magic, Dib contemplated all that had happened that day.
One thing's for sure-I'm probably never going to have a birthday this exciting for a long time…
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