Hey guys. These next few chapters are about Natasha's past. I had these in my head from the beginning and wanted to get some background out there. I hope you enjoy them. (:

Thanks guys!

Natasha walked down the long dark alley behind the markets in the Wards. She could hear that damned Volus going on and on about how good his merchandise was, but she knew the truth. She knew what was behind his counter, what he was guarding so intently. His store was always the last to close at night. Even when he closed the store, it took him forever to actually leave. It wasn't very hard to guess what he had. It was acquiring it for herself that Natasha needed to figure out.

She put her back against the wall of the alley, the back door of the storefront to her left. She could hear the Volus' suit working as he breathed. He mumbled to himself, but Natasha couldn't make out what he was saying. She didn't care to find out. She was here for one thing and hearing his mouth wasn't it. She needed his merchandise.

She banged on the door, hearing something fall to the floor on the other side. She waited for the door to open, looking around to make sure no one was in the alley. The volus looked up at her, a hand still on the door as he looked her up and down, his body still half inside the doorway.

"What do you want, Earth-clan?" He asked.

She bit her lip as her mind raced for the right words.

"I... I need some..."

"Some? My store is closed, whatever you need to buy-"

"You know what I'm talking about." She said, raising her voice slightly before taking a deep breath to relax. "Look, I have credits, I can pay. I just need some."

"I have lots of things, earth-clan. What do you need?"

"The drugs. I know you have Hallex here... I need it."

The Volos let her in the door, closing it tightly before leading her over to a crate. He opened it, letting her look inside. He picked up a small baggie and let her examine it. She fondled the bag in her fingers as she brought it to her eyes, looking closely at the pills.

"How much?" She asked, looking back to the Volus.

"How much do you want?"

"Two bags."

"Two."

She glared at him, letting the baggie fall from her eye level.

"Two hundred?!"

"Do you know how hard it is to ship these? C-Sec is all over it."

She flicked on her omni tool and transferred the credits to him in irritation.

"Fine." She huffed, grabbing another small baggie from the crate. "This never happened?"

"Never." He told her.

She put the bags in her pocket and walked to the door, glancing back at him before reefing the door open and rushing out to the alley. She walked down the darkness, but only a few strides. She needed to fix herself; her mind was thinking too much. She felt guilty about hacking her way into the market's banks, but she was good at it, and she needed the credits. She pressed her back to the wall, pulling one of the bags out of her pocket. Her shaky hands opened the seal and poured the pills into her other palm. She wanted two. It was a high dosage and it would do the job. She shook her head and took three, dry swallowing the little pills desperately. She waited for a moment, feeling the pills trying to slide down her dry throat. She closed her eyes as she felt them hard at work already, narrowing her senses and making her mind draw a blank. She could only think about the moment, what was happening at that second, as she slid herself down to the ground slowly. She smiled slightly, feeling her body going to sleep as she sat there, her mind no longer unaware of her surroundings.

She woke up a few hours later, looking around the alley as her eyes focused. She sighed and looked down at her hand. Her eyebrows knit together at the sight of her pills in disarray. She picked up the bag and gathered them in her hands. She was dizzy after standing, feeling the aftermath of the pills in her system. She tried walking straight. Her feet were heavy, her pace almost dead as she noticed daylight was arriving. She winced at the sky, putting a hand on her brow to shield her eyes as she tilted her head back down.

It took her a while to get back to her home. She scoffed at the thought, knowing she could hardly call it that. It'd been hers for years, since she was a kid, really. It didn't make her feel any better about it though.

She stopped and looked around, shaking her head at the people who walked around idly, as if nothing was wrong with the world. She didn't care if they saw today, she didn't have the awareness to be discrete. The pills were still clearing her senses, but weighing on her conscious mind. All that mattered was the present, and at the present time, she felt like shit. Her mind was groggy and she could hardly walk. She knew her bed was close. She'd sleep off the high.

She kneeled down and lifted the vent off the wall she leaned on, crawling inside and shutting it tightly. She clicked her makeshift lock to ensure no one got in; C-Sec would arrest her if they knew she was living in the tunnels of the Citadel.

She crawled through the small space. The walls expanded as she ventured further, a small area presenting itself. She smiled at her pillow and blanket, flopping herself down on them as her eyes slumped shut. She felt her mind shutting down again, sleep taking over her weak body.

Natasha opened her eyes, immediately feeling the absence of her high. Her body quivered as she cried, covering her face as she shook her head at herself. She needed to change. She needed help. If she didn't get rid of her addiction to the Hallex, she'd end up getting herself killed. Was she to blame though? It suppressed her memories. It made her senses heighten, and it brought on a heavy euphoria. It made her less aware of her surroundings and let her live without her past over her head. It let her feel happy.

She shook her head as she sat up. She knew the fake happiness could only mask her pathetic life for so long. Her mind was growing used to the dosage. She'd have to up the amount she took to get her high or she'd die of an overdose. Natasha didn't want to die, not really. She had always wished she could make a better life for herself. She knew it wouldn't happen though, she was a nobody. She'd been living in the tunnels since she was a child, she was used to life being a ball of depression. There were others like her but she didn't socialize. She didn't care to.

She wiped her face, shoving her hand into her pocket to take out the baggie. She shook a few pills from the bag, letting them land in her palm. Closing her eyes, she sighed. She told herself to stop, that she needed to quit doing this to herself. She stared down at the white pills, her mind screaming for her to get rid of them. For a moment, she had convinced herself to throw them out, but she rushed her hand to her mouth and swallowed the pills.

She told herself that was it. Only this last time and then she'd stop. She shook her head at the bag, taking the other one out of her pocket too. She crawled to the tunnel, feeling her body weakening. She smiled, her heart fluttering at the happiness she was feeling. She opened a small vent inside the tunnel and looked inside it. It was a pit, as far as she could tell. She dumped the pills down the dark vent, doing the same with the other bag.

She smiled again, hearing voices from outside the tunnel. Her senses were sharp but her mind was clouding. She backed herself up until she was in her small space again, curling her knees up to her face as she sat against the tunnel walls. She smiled, listening to the soft murmur of voices outside.

Natasha flicked open the lock on her vent door and peeked out subtly. There weren't many people around, and if she went quickly, she could get out without much of a commotion. She took a deep breath and pushed open the little door, squeezing her body out and shutting it tightly before straightening up and looking around.

"Duct rat." a woman sneered harshly before she slammed her shoulder into Natasha's as she passed by.

Natasha was grateful, preferring the comment over punishment for living in the vents. She didn't know where she was going today, but she was determined to fix what she'd done to herself. She hardly had the money to go to a facility, making the painful detox inevitable. She could always hack the banks again, but she'd get caught with such surveillance you'd receive at a clinic. She dreaded what her body would go through; she'd never been good at being sick.

She shook the thoughts from her head as she walked down the bridge of the Presidium. She hated how nice everything was. Gardens, flowers, people laughing like their worlds were nothing but wonderful. She wondered if her hatred of the place came from envy, but again, she shook her thoughts away quickly after they entered her mind.

Natasha stopped in front of a cafe, knitting her eyebrows slightly. She could smell the food, the hot beverages they were brewing. She stepped inside and looked around, taking in the smell as it grew stronger now. An asari approached her with a warm smile.

"Can I help you?"

"Um... No... I'm alright."

"Have a nice day, m'am."

Natasha turned away from the woman and walked back out to the presidium. She leaned on the railing of the bridge, taking a deep breath as she fought herself. She didn't have credits, not after buying the pills the previous night. She'd need to sell more of her things. She scoffed. As if she had anything to sell. She put her face in her hands, rubbing her skin lightly.

Natasha had never resorted to selling herself. Not once. Maybe that was a sign her addiction wasn't that bad. Maybe she could kick the habit easier than she thought. If she was going to let people use her, at least now she'd use the credits to buy food. Right? Wouldn't she use the credits for food?

She was afraid to have credits, because it made it easy for her to relapse. She scoffed at herself again, shaking her head. She couldn't relapse if she wasn't sober, and she was not sober. How long did she have to stop popping pills to say she was clean? She sighed, getting an idea for just how hard this would be. Her stomach growled in protest to her walking away from the smell of the cafe now, walking back down the long bridge. She had to DO something. Standing there thinking about things wouldn't change anything. She had to start doing things.

Why, then, was she walking down to the Wards? Why was she making her way past the markets, down the stairs, to the little club? Why was she going to the bar? She groaned at herself, as if she was unable to control her feet as they carried her. The music was quite annoying to her, but she couldn't tell if it was the beat or the volume that was annoying her more. She pushed the irritation of her surroundings out of her mind as she approached the woman behind the bar.

"What can I get ya?" She asked.

"You know who I can talk to about a job?" Natasha asked.

The woman looked her up and down before she crossed her arms and sank into a hip.

"We don't hire dancers unless they're asari."

"What about you?" Natasha scoffed. "You're human."

"I'm not a dancer."

"I don't need a dancing job, I just need a job."

"Listen lady, we don't hire off the streets. It's a long process-" The woman stopped her sentence to put her hand to her ear. She was silent for a moment, then let her hand fall to her side again. "Guess it's your lucky day. Fist wants to see you."

"Fist?"

"He runs the place. Go through those doors, you'll find him in there." She said, pointing to a set of doors on the far side of the room.

Natasha hesitantly walked over to them, the krogan guards nodding and letting her in. She walked into the quiet, enjoying it for a moment before she walked through another set of doors. When she rounded the corner, she saw a man standing there. A lump had formed in her throat, which she swallowed as she tried hiding her nervousness.

The man looked at her for a long moment, stepping towards her slowly.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Natasha."

"Why are you asking for a job here? Asari are what people love. Humans aren't very appealing to other species."

"Says the human who runs the asari club."

The man seemed surprised that she'd say something like that, but smiled all the same.

"What do you want?" He asked.

"A job."

"Why?"

"I need credits."

"You look like it." Natasha shifted her weight slightly, knowing her clothing was nowhere near nice to look at. "Listen, I can't hire someone who can't shower themselves."

"I would take care of myself if I had the money." She knew it was a lie, she'd never taken care of herself.

"I don't think I'll find any benefit from you." He said, turning away now.

"What do I have to do to prove I can do the job?"

"Are you begging now?" He laughed, sitting behind his desk.

"Yes." She said. "I am. I need a job and this is the best I'll get."

"You're not getting it."

Natasha took a step forward, putting her hands on his desk.

"What do I have to do to prove I can do it?" She asked again.

He seemed to examine her again, smirking slightly at her desperation.

"I would never hire someone like you." He said in a gruff voice. "Get out or I'll call for the guards."

Natasha let out a defeated sigh before she left the room. She rushed out of the club before leaning against the wall. She sighed and put her face in her hands. As pissed as she was, she knew she had been dumb to try in the first place. No one would hire her when she looked the way she did.

She walked quickly down the Citadel's walkways, making her way up to the markets. When she was there, she spotted the Volus' shop. She took a minute to stand and stare from a distance, watching people walking in and out with seemingly harmless merchandise. She knew what was in those crates he had behind him. She knew it. After a few moments of fighting herself, she sat down on one of the benches in the market. She watched the store as the hour went by, her mind slowly slipping into a state of constant nagging as she thought of the pills she was trying to get rid of. She waited until he closed his shop, being as patient as she could. When he left after closing, though, she began growing restless. She stood and watched him leave through the backdoor of the store. After a few minutes of consideration, Natasha walked around the markets, and as calmly as she could, went to the alley behind the stores.

She could feel her hands shaking as she tugged on the doorknob. She looked around frantically, as if someone would help her open the door, but she knew it wasn't possible. She panted for a moment, her hands resting on the door before an idea found it's way into her mind. She looked at the door, as if she wanted it to weigh in on her thought. She raised her foot an kicked at the knob, hoping it would break off. After a few hard kicks, it still wasn't budging. She sighed, looking around the alley again.

Opening her omni tool, she linked it to the door. She could see the code that kept it secure and found her way around it. With little effort, she managed to hack it open. She sighed in relief as she opened the door, but was surprised at the sound of an alarm. Her heart sank but she kept going. She ripped open one of the crates and stated down at the baggies of pills. She grabbed one, opening the plastic quickly and swallowing three of the white drugs. She waited for them to work their way down her throat, and then sat for a moment. The world around her was going quiet, the alarm dimming down as her euphoria kicked in. She smiled brightly at herself, her hand squeezing the bag as hard as she could, as if to not lose them as she lost consciousness.

When Natasha woke up, she was in a small white room, a bright light above her. She blinked a few times, letting herself wake up before she tried sitting up. Her heart started to race as her wrists struggled against restraints. She picked her head up and looked around. There was a door, with a single window on it. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back down. She remembered the alarm going off when she broke into the store, and she remembered taking the pills.

"Shit." She said to herself. She'd been caught.