"Ah, here's a room I know all about. You see, Mr. Wonka, I just so happen to be in the nut business myself." Mrs. Surf said as she gave a business card to Mr. Wonka who gave it to Charlotte who immediately threw it over her shoulder. "Are you using the Havermax 4000 to sort all your nuts? Or are you using something new and more up to date?"
"No. You know, you're just like the last guy who told me he was in the nut business. You guys always prefer the boring, old-fashioned way to sort your nuts. A big old snooza-palooza, if you ask me." Mr. Wonka chuckled.
"Well, how do you do it then?" Priscilla asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"I'll show you right now." Mr. Wonka said as he opened the door. "I prefer… the fun, creative way to sort nuts."
As the door opened, Mr. Wonka led the group into the room for everyone to see that it was lined with tiny little chairs and hundreds of gray squirrels were sitting on them; it looked like they were sorting out different kinds of nuts that came to them. Priscilla smiled, Jeff made a confused sneer, and Charlotte stared in awe at the sight.
"Squirrels!" Priscilla cried excitedly.
"Yeah, and a hundred of them no less. You see, these squirrels are specially trained to get all kinds of nuts out of their shells." Mr. Wonka said.
"Why use squirrels and not Oompa-Loompas?" Mrs. Surf asked.
"Because only squirrels can get the entire nut out of the shell in one piece every single time." Mr. Wonka replied. "See how they knock on the shell with their little knuckles? That's to make sure it's not bad. Oh, look! Look! I think the little guy over there has got a bad nut."
Mr. Wonka smiled and pointed his finger at a squirrel to his right that was testing to see if it was bad, which it was, and the little rodent threw it over its shoulder into a large gaping hole in the very middle of the room, just like some others squirrels were doing.
'They are so cute!' Charlotte thought.
"Isn't that adorable?" Mr. Wonka asked.
Charlotte and Priscilla nodded their heads while Jeff said nothing and shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't care.
"Mommy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels. I want one." Priscilla told her mother.
"Here we go…" Jeff muttered in annoyance.
'Ugh! Not this again.' Charlotte thought, raising a hand over her eyes.
"Priscilla, darling, you have many wonderful pets already." Mrs. Surf said calmly.
"Oh please! All I have at home is one pony, three dogs, five cats, seven rabbits, three parakeets, six yellow finches, a blue parrot, a gecko, a turtle, a tank full of ten goldfish, a gray gerbil, three brown hamsters, and a stupid old guinea pig! I want a squirrel!" The little girl demanded, raising her voice and stomping her little foot.
While Priscilla was listing her seemingly countless pets, Charlotte kept track and counted all of them on her fingers; she soon counted out forty-one pets in total! She looked at Mr. Wonka with wide eyes; he shrugged his shoulders at her and made an uneasy smirk.
"Geez, this girl has more pets than that last spoiled girl who was here." Mr. Wonka whispered in Charlotte's ear.
"I feel you, man. No good ever comes from spoiling a child like that." Charlotte whispered back.
"Wise words."
"Alright, sweetheart. Mommy will get you a squirrel just as soon as she can, I promise you." Mrs. Surf said in the same calm tone as before.
"I don't want any old squirrel, Mommy. I want a trained squirrel, one of those nut-shelling squirrels down there." Priscilla demanded.
'Geez…' Charlotte thought, closing her eyes and shaking her head.
"Picky, picky, picky. Is there no pleasing this girl?" Jeff groaned in a whisper.
"I heard that, Jeff." Priscilla angrily said to Jeff who rolled his eyes in response.
"Very well, my sweet." Mrs. Surf sighed in defeat, turning her head to face Mr. Wonka. "Excuse me, Mr. Wonka. How much do you want for one of these squirrels? Name your price."
Priscilla smiled a big fake smile and looked up at the guide; hoping he would agree.
"Oh. None of my squirrels are for sale; she can't have one." Mr. Wonka answered bluntly.
"Who says I can't?" Priscilla asked.
"Come now, let's make a deal; I'm certain we can work something out. What do you want?" Mrs. Surf tried to argue, but Mr. Wonka was having none of it.
"Nothing. I'm sorry, ma'am; you can say whatever you like to me, but it's already out of the question. Your daughter cannot have one of my squirrels and that's that; this conversation is finished." Mr. Wonka replied in a stern tone.
The little girl's smile slowly faded, being replaced by an angry look as she looked back at her mother and said,
"Mommy?"
"I'm so sorry, my dear. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable." Mrs. Surf said.
All the while, Mr. Wonka was mockingly lip-syncing with Mrs. Surf's sentence. Charlotte kept her laughter contained yet again and Priscilla was now glaring darkly at her.
"Oh, so you think this is funny?" She said.
"What? N-no." Charlotte denied, shaking her head. "I… I, uh—"
"Don't lie to me! I've been seeing and hearing you try not to laugh every moment we were here! You can't fool me! I also heard you whispering to Mr. Wonka! I bet you're making fun of me for wanting one of his squirrels, aren't you?"
"What?! No, I wasn't! I swear! I would never—" Charlotte cried in surprise.
"Likely story." Priscilla huffed before stomping on Charlotte's foot.
"Ow!" She cried.
"Hey! You leave Charlotte out of this!" Mr. Wonka demanded, protectively putting his arm in front of Charlotte.
"Yes, darling. Please don't drag the young lady into this whole thing. I don't think she even wants to get involved." Mrs. Surf said.
'You have no idea.' Charlotte thought, wincing in a mix of pain and fear.
"Whoa, this just got interesting…" Jeff muttered with wide eyes.
"Alright, fine! If mommy won't get me one of those squirrels, I'll just go get one myself! Just you try and stop me!" Priscilla said before climbing through the gate and into the room.
"Priscilla?" Mrs. Surf called.
"Little girl?" Mr. Wonka added.
'What the heck is she doing out there?' Charlotte thought.
"Priscilla, please come back. Young lady, I said come back here at once." Mrs. Surf demanded.
But Priscilla wouldn't listen to her mother. She just walked around the room, searching for the right squirrel she wanted claim as her own. Soon, she spotted the nut sorting rodent she desired; it was one at the end of one of the tables to her right. She walked closer to it, the other squirrels stopping what they were doing and turning around to look at Priscilla.
"Please don't touch my squirrels, little girl! You'll just make them angry!" Mr. Wonka calmly demanded.
"Let me see…" Priscilla said to herself, clearly not listening to Mr. Wonka.
"This suspense is killing me…" Jeff muttered as he leaned on the railing. "I hope it'll last."
'This is bad. Really, really bad. I'd bail right this instant if I were her.' Charlotte thought.
Priscilla stopped at the squirrel and looked at it for a few moments of silence; it intensely stared back at her.
"I'll have you." She finally said.
She slowly reached out her hands to grab the rodent only for that squirrel and its companions and neighbors to jump off from their stools and charge angrily towards the little girl; she gasped in surprise as she tried to back away from the hoard.
"What are you doing?! Get away from me! Back off!" She screamed as she tried to get away.
"Priscilla, sweetheart! Oh no!" Mrs. Surf shouted worriedly as she desperately tried to get past the gate.
Mr. Wonka then pulled a large ring of keys from his coat and he began to slowly search for the key to unlock the barrier that led to the ground floor, Mrs. Surf getting more and more worried by the second. Before anyone knew it, Priscilla was completely covered in squirrels and she fell on her back onto the floor.
"Let me just find the right key… Nope. Not that one." Mr. Wonka said to himself, shuffling through more keys.
"Mommy! Help!" Priscilla cried.
"Shouldn't we do something to help her?" Charlotte asked.
"Are you kidding me? This is the funniest thing I've seen all day!" Jeff commented, leaning on the railing with a huge smile on his face.
"Jeff, how could you?! I thought we were cool!" Priscilla yelled.
"Every kid for themselves now, Prissy!" Jeff shouted at Priscilla.
"Oh no, my little girl!" Mrs. Surf cried again.
"Okay. There it is… there it isn't." Mr. Wonka joked, looking back at his keys.
"Mommy! Hey, what's the big idea?! Why doesn't anyone come and help me?! Somebody, anybody! I just want them to stop!" Priscilla shrieked.
The next thing everyone knew, Priscilla was pinned down to the floor by the hoard of squirrels. One squirrel climbed onto her and knocked on her head, then there was awkward silence for a good few moments.
"What are they doing to her?" Charlotte asked.
"They're testing her to see if she's a bad nut." Mr. Wonka answered.
That was when the leader squirrel made an unpleasant chattering shriek, indicating that she was indeed a bad nut.
"Looks like we have a bad nut after all… Yeah, it's not like I didn't see that coming." He said.
The swarm of buck-toothed, bushy-tailed rodents then made their way underneath the bratty little girl and they began to drag her towards the hole in the middle of the floor.
"Where are those rats taking Priscilla?" Mrs. Surf asked.
"First of all, they're not rats; they might be distant cousins, but they are certainly not the same thing. Second of all, they're taking her to where all bad nuts go, to the garbage chute." Mr. Wonka answered.
"But where does the garbage chute go?"
"To the furnace at the very bottom; that's where all of the factory trash goes. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays."
"Today is Tuesday, genius." Jeff pointed out.
Mr. Wonka glared at Jeff, then he went back to a nervous smile.
"Well… there's still always the chance they decided not to light it today." He said uneasily.
"A pretty slim chance, really." Charlotte commented with a nervous chuckle.
Mr. Wonka nervously smirked and nodded his head at her.
Finally, the squirrel hoard made their way to the edge of the garbage chute and Priscilla slid down it at a great speed, screaming in terror all the while. The rodents then ran back to their stations and went back to work as if nothing had happened. It seemed like they didn't care if they roasted someone alive.
"Now, the thing is… she might be stuck in the chute somewhere just near the top. If that's the case here, all you need to do is just reach in and pull her out." Mr. Wonka informed Mrs. Surf before reluctantly unlocking the gate to let her pass through.
As Mrs. Surf was making her way towards the chute, some Oompa-Loompas came out of two little doorways, one on either side of the room and it looked like they were about to start another song. Mr. Wonka was waving his head side to side along with the beat of the music; Charlotte smiled and did the same thing.
"Priscilla Surf, the little brute
Has just gone down the garbage chute
And she will be as she descends
A rather different set of friends
A rather different set of friends
A rather different set of friends
A fish head, for example, cut
This morning from a halibut
A spoiled clam from a clam stew
Pork chops that no one else would chew
And lots of other things as well
Each with its rather horrid smell
Horrid smell
These are Priscilla's new found friends
That she will meet as she descends
There are Priscilla's newfound friends!"
Just as Mrs. Surf was calmly walking towards the opening of the chute, the Oompa-Loompas were telling her a special message in song form.
"Who went and spoiled her, who indeed?
Who pandered to her every need?
Who turned her into such a brat?
Who are the culprits?
Who did that?
The guilty ones
Now this is sad,
Are dear old mom
And loving dad"
And with that, a squirrel ran up from behind and kicked Mrs. Surf in the rump which caused her to fall into the chute right behind Priscilla. Mr. Wonka smiled and chuckled under his breath at the sight. Charlotte, on the other hand, couldn't keep her laughter contained any longer. Before anyone knew it, she suddenly burst out laughing like a deranged hyena; she was laughing so hard that her face turned red, tears were running down her cheeks, and she was leaning against the wall behind her. After a few seconds, she opened her eyes and saw that Mr. Wonka, Jeff, and his father were all staring at her. She stopped, caught her breath, and stood straight again as she smoothed out her skirt.
"Uh… sorry." She said embarrassedly, her smile quickly fading.
"You know… you have a really nice laugh." Mr. Wonka said politely.
"Really? Thank you."
Charlotte suddenly felt something gently pulling on her skirt. She looked and saw that it was another Oompa-Loompa looking up at her.
"Oh, hello there." She greeted politely.
The tiny man gestured her to come closer to him. She was confused, but she knelt down to his height and he whispered something into her ear.
"Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh, mm-hm. Really? Oh! Okay, thank you. I'll tell him." Charlotte said, standing up as the Oompa-Loompa walked away.
"What's going on?" Mr. Wonka asked.
"He just told me to tell you that the furnace down there is broken and that there should be about three or four weeks of rotting garbage to break their fall." She answered.
"Oh! Is that all?" He asked, smiling.
"Yep. At least they'll be okay, right?"
"Oh, absolutely. Happy endings all around."
"Yeah… sure. Whatever floats your boat." Mr. Tellie said in a sarcastic tone.
"Wait… why did that Oompa-Loompa tell you and not Mr. Wonka? And how can you understand what he was even saying?" Jeff asked Charlotte.
"I… have no idea." Charlotte replied, shrugging her shoulders in a confused and innocent manner.
"Hmmm, that is interesting…" Mr. Wonka pondered.
"Try weird." Jeff commented.
"Well… what are we waiting for? Let's keep on going, folks." Mr. Wonka said, leading the group out of the Nut Sorting Room.