Chapter 9: Against My Will
A little while later I heard a knock at my door. Not turning towards it I just stayed where I was. Hearing it again I yelled out "Get away from the door," Not listening to me the door opened and there stood Mammy.
"Child yaw got to stop doin this yaw know?" Mammy said. I knew she was right, she had taken care of me from the moment I was born. "Rhett has been asking about yaw all afternoon."
"You can simply tell him that I wish not to see him." I shot back as I wanted nothing to do with him. After the way he acted down stairs I had the right to never speak to him.
"Yes ma'am." Mammy says as I hear her leave and shut the door. Good reddens to him. I would tell him to go to Hell I would. I didn't want to have to deal with this anymore. I could file for divorce get custody of Bonnie and move back to Tara, where I belonged. Even if this was Rhett's baby he would never get to see it, NEVER!
At one point in my life I would never have gotten a divorce. I wanted to make this work somehow some way. I wanted Bonnie to be able to have both parents, but now I began to think it would be much better if Rhett and I separated for the time being. The baby wasn't due for another four months. That would give us plenty of time to either think things over or to draw up the divorce papers Either way I wouldn't go on living as I had been.
While I was in the middle of this thought a hard knock came to the door. "I don't wish to see you." I yelled as that knock was to familiar. At not paying any respect to me the door flew open as it slammed against the wall. I whipped towards Rhett. "I told you I didn't wish to see you. Leave this moment."
"This is my house and I can do as I damn well please." Rhett yelled. "What's this about you not wanting to see me? When I want to see you, you will let me is that clear?"
"No, Rhett I will not. You are not to tell me what I can and cannot do. I'm a woman not some servant you can throw around. Do you hear me?" I could see the anger fill his eyes as he threw his hands upon me. Jerking, fighting and trying to get free I tried everything. "Rhett, stop," I yelled as I could feel him picking me up. Throwing me onto the bed I could feel everything I that I had ever thought of Rhett leave me and know what he truly was. I still kicked, screamed and tried to get away.
Putting a hand over my mouth Rhett silenced me. Looking into my eyes I saw hunger and for a moment I thought he had gone mad. "You don't want Bonnie to hear do you?" he asked in a voice I had never heard before in all the years I had been married to him.
I shook my head as I still tried to get free. This was not like him…he was drunk. I bit down on his hand. "You're drunk!" I yelled out thinking someone would hear.
"My dear I couldn't be any more drunk, then what I already am."
He was drunk alright none of what he was saying was making any since. I could feel my dress come up above my knees. I wasn't going to let this happen a second time. Kicking, biting and clawing I managed to get my long finger tails across Rhett's face. At the site of blood I knew what I had done. Stopping he got his handkerchief out. Whipping his face off he threw it at me as it whipped across my left cheek. Rhett was becoming uncontrollable. I could feel the sting of the mark that was now across my face.
Somehow I fainted and wouldn't wake until later that day. "Mother, Mother." A little voice came. I opened my eyes to see Bonnie sitting by my bed. I put a hand to my forehead. Why did it feel as if I was hit by a horse? "What is it sweetie?" I asked as my head began hurting.
"You said you would come and play with me, but you never came. So I came up here." A little giggle escaped her lips. She was such a sweet child. Why couldn't we be a normal family? I asked myself this even though when Bonnie was born I wanted nothing to do with being a mother.
"Bonnie, mother and I need to talk." Rhett's voice came before I could answer her.
Bonnie looked over at me with sad eyes. "Mother?"
Poor Bonnie she was in the middle of all of this and this was mine and Rhett's fault. "Later darling," I say smiling over at her. Smiling at me a servant came to take her from the room.
Shutting the door Rhett came over to me. "You varmint," I yelled at him as I knew and he knew what he had done.
"Still the same old Scarlett I see." Answered Rhett as if what had just happened hadn't fazed him.
"As I should be, what gave you the idea to come barging into my room like that?" I asked.
"As I said this is my house I should be able to go and come as I please." Rhett's voice became icy once again. Things we're never going to change even with the new baby on its way it wouldn't change anything .In fact it might just make things worse. I felt sorry for the new baby. Coming into a house that barely had time for the other daughter let alone have time for another child, what a fool I was nothing was going to make Rhett or I happy except one thing…a divorce.
A/N: Sorry it's a short chapter. It's rather early here. I'm leaving for Atlanta in a few hours. Hope this tides you over till I get back. Talk to you in a few days.