The pattern was the same for the next four or five days. I'd wake up, try to eat, and it'd come right back up and I'd lay there crying for hours at a time. I wasn't handling this situation like I should—but I didn't care. Even though I made myself sick—I didn't care. Nothing seemed right at all. But there was one night that was especially strange when I fell asleep.

I was back in the mind world I'd first visited when I became a Soul Reaper. I noticed it was raining. Quite hard. Yoso was taking cover under one of the trees. I slowly approached her.

"What are you doing?" She snapped at me. "What's your problem? It hasn't stopped raining for days now!"

I stopped walking and looked down. "Sorry."

"Why is it raining so much?" When I looked up, sorrow was on her face.

I heard a clap of thunder and winced. "I'm not…handling things well at all."

"Everything? Like what happened before and then Soul Society getting involved…that stuff?"

I nodded, not trusting my voice. I didn't realize what this would do to this…place if I got so upset. But I had kind of had forgotten about it all together for the past few days. Which made me feel horrible. How could I forget about this and Yoso? I'm horribly selfish that's why.

"The Hollow enjoys this you know." She whispered.

"I didn't know that." I whispered back and that's when I heard a laugh and I winced.

"She likes watching suffering—especially my suffering." Yoso sounded totally miserable.

"I didn't know how it…affected you." My voice got even quieter.

She finally stood up and put her hands on my shoulders. "Just try to handle it." Then she lowered her voice. "If you keep this up any longer the Hollow will take over. She's starting to get irritated at you."

I clenched my hands into fists. "I won't let her."

I noticed the rain was starting to slow a little. It wasn't stopping completely but there was a noticeable change. Yoso smiled and started to come out from underneath the tree.

"You need to start training as soon as possible." She said. "Otherwise—you will lose to her."

I felt a little more confident. "Alright."

She just smiled at me.

When I woke up in the morning, I was feeling so much better. I slowly sat up. Part of my problem had been a lack of confidence in myself. But I still felt despair. If I kept up acting like this—I could lose myself. I shuddered at the thought.

I heard the door open and I jumped. I kicked the blanket off and turned around. It was Ichigo coming downstairs with food and a change of clothes for me.

"Are you actually going to keep the food down today?" He asked me quietly.

I shrugged. "I hope so. I feel better."

"Good." He sat the clothes and food by me and went back upstairs. I changed quickly and started eating pretty fast. And this time I was actually able to keep the food down. Then I had a thought—were they going to let me shower sometime soon? I'm pretty sure I smelled pretty bad.

But I didn't get a chance to ask until lunch when Ichigo came downstairs. When I did ask—and my face turned red when I asked—he just laughed and took me upstairs.

When I got in the shower—I let out a long sigh of relief.

By the time I finished and got out—I noticed there was someone else here I didn't recognize. He was tall and had somewhat dark skin and his hair ran into his eyes. I stood there and stared for a minute before I went back downstairs. However by the time I reached the bottom, I hadn't heard the door close. Which was strange because usually it was closed. I looked up and saw Ichigo coming down so I moved out of the way of the ladder.

I sat back down on my sleeping pad and started brushing my hair, growling because of how painful it was. I noticed that one guy I didn't know had also come downstairs and I froze.

After a minute I just slowly turned so I wouldn't get nervous and kept brushing my hair. I heard them talking but I tuned them out so it was that buzzing noise again. I didn't need to know what they were talking about. But they went silent after a minute and I can feel their eyes on me and I realized he must've said something that requires me to come into the conversation. Whoops.

I set the brush down on my pillow so slowly that you would've thought my pillow was gonna explode. And I turn around but I don't stand up. Meeting new people made me really nervous. I never did well with making friends.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow at me and I realized he asked me a question but I'd tuned him out.

"What?" I asked confusedly.

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "You tuned out again didn't you?"

I sighed. "Sorry—I do that."

Ichigo shook his head at me. "Anyways—this is my friend Chad." He gestured to the guy standing next to him. I waved nervously. He waved back.

"Urahara will be down in a minute to start training. I'll be out for a while." He said.

I shrugged. "Alright."

He went back up the ladder, followed by Chad. I just continued to sit there. I was a little nervous to start the training. Mostly because I didn't know what the heck would happen when we do. I heard the door shut and then almost immediately open again. I groaned internally. I didn't want to do this. But I had to.

The minute I saw Urahara coming down the ladder, I got to my feet. I felt my legs shaking out of nervousness. I moved over to a rock and leaned on it for support as at the moment my legs felt like they were going to give out on me.

He approached me. "You ready?"

"About as ready as I'll ever be." I laughed nervously.

He made a gesture for me to stand up so I did. And then he hit me in the forehead with his cane.