He's probably the biggest douchebag you've ever met. But at the same time he turns you on.

Before that shitwreck of an event occurred, you were traveling with your best bro, Dave Strider, to his house located in the Land of Heat and Clockwork. Once you stepped on the front of his house, you were already coated in sweat from the fervent heat emanating from below; swirling, fiery lava massed below, threatening to engulf anything that dared to come too close. You try to ignore the horrendous heat, entering Dave's house. Both of you are surprised to find an older human male snoozing on the couch, covered with- what the hell are those? The dolls resemble Terezi's scalemates, except they were very- plump. Dave sighs, running a hand through his blonde hair.

''Bro, what the hell are you doing here. I thought you were at your own place.'' Dave reaches out to the man, who reacts lightning-quick, grumbling something incoherent. Dave just shrugs, walking over to the video games stacked in front of the flat-screen TV, rummaging through the various trash. You shoot a confused look at him, settling down at the end of the couch. Apparently this is his lusus? He's only wearing a wife beater and a pair of black boxers. Great first impression. You don't really care, so you pick up one of the soft dolls, examining its strange features.

''What ith thith?'' You ask curiously. Dave gives a disgusted look at the doll.

''A smuppet. You shouldn't touch it.'' He resumes his rummaging silently.

Out of frank curiosity, you squeeze the plump rear end of the ''smuppet''; it feels like smooth silk under your fingers. For some reason you're tempted to do it again.

''Like it? I created it myself. You can do a lot more with it though.'' Suddenly a husky voice reverberates into your ear, fanning hot breath against the right side of your face. A hand is resting on your thigh. One arm wraps around your skinny shoulders, bringing you face-to-face with Dave's lusus.

That's when you realize he's fucking hot.

''Like what?'' You ask. You're pretty confident what people do with this, but you're eager to hear the answer come from his enticing lips. He catches your wanting stare, smirking lightly.

''So many things. I can teach you every one of them...'' He leans in, licking the shell of your seductively.

Bright gold blush blooms across your gray cheeks; Bro chuckles, removing his pointed, triangular shades. You almost gasp at the brilliant orange orbs staring at you, coming closer with each second. Bro kisses you, licking your lips. You let him enter, feeling his wet muscle tangle with your forked tongue, sliding in between the nook, sucking on it. A stray hand rubs the base of your horn, making you shiver from the delicious touch. You moan, digging your claws into the smuppet in your hands. Bro rips your shirt off, tossing it to the side; it lands on top of Dave like a passive-aggressive towel. He turns around, flipping his shit coolly.

''Seriously? Right in front of me?''

''What?'' Bro stops kissing you, making you whimper very slightly.''Want to join?''

''Hell no. I'm out of this hell hole. See you later, Captor.'' Dave gives you a half-assed wave, absconding into the dark abyss above. You gaze at his red silhouette leaving the planet's atmosphere, strangely feeling a bit disappointed. Oh well. His loss.

Bro plucks the smuppet out of your hands, inserting its proboscis into your drooling mouth. You suck eagerly, too horny to care if you're acting like a total slut at this point. ''Ahn, I want... ah! I want you...!'' You moan, feeling the plush length being thrusted into your drooling mouth; you suck on it loudly, clawing at Bro's back hungrily.

Putting down the smuppet, Bro deftly removes his shirt. You salivate at his carved chest, running your fingers along his chiseled abs like they were fucking gold. They probably are. Bro unbuttons your pants, tossing them off along with his own. Now you can perfectly see his hard erection, peeping out of the fold of his boxers. Since you have two, make it double for yourself. Bro licks his lips, sliding his tongue down your chest, nipping and playing with your nipples before he works down to your tentabulges. He reveals your two writhing dicks, raking his tongue over both, letting the slick tentacles wrap around his fingers, fondling them roughly. You buck your hips, grabbing locks of his blonde spiked hair, moaning his name. ''Bro, f-fuck! I-ah! I'm so, ah yes right there! So close...!'' You shout, quivering from his wonderful blowjob.

''You want me to fuck your little ass?'' Bro says, licking the tip of one tentabulge. You nod, throwing your head back when he shoves the smuppet proboscis you were sucking on earlier into your ass. It's not as big as you want it to be, but you push your hips against it nevertheless. Your mind becomes foggy, and you only feel the sensation of being filled by plush fabric, shouting out Bro's name as he keeps on bobbing his head, sucking loudly on your two bulges writhing in his mouth. He tears off your boxers, flipping you over. You pass an uncertain look over your shoulder at Bro, watching him slide the moist smuppet out of your ass.

Soon a greatly huger length enters your backside. You grit your teeth, feeling him slide into you, grabbing your hips. He pants, removing his hat and gloves before starting to move. ''You like that? Want me to fucking grind into you you filthy slut?'' He thrusts roughly, splitting you apart.

''Y-Yeth! I want you- ah! Fuck! Ahn, more... ha-aharder...!'' You shout, burying your face into the couch cushion.

He rams into you, making you bump your head against the couch arm. You moan and whimper, quivering from the pure lust filling your head, yelping loudly when he hits that sweet spot of yours. You scream, feeling him hit it over and over again, spreading your legs further apart so he can fill very inch of you.

He digs his nails into your hips, his thrusting getting more frantic by the second. You feel his warm fluids shoot into your dripping wet nook, and soon you're coming all over your chest. Yellow-tinted genetic material slides down your chest, pooling onto the couch is warm stains. You aren't cleaning that shit up though.

Bro rests his chest against your back tenderly, catching his breath and running his hands over your ribs. You bask in the afterglow with him; you eventually stop trembling. Pulling out, Bro lifts himself off of you, placing you in his lap, handing the soaking wet smuppet to you.''Here's something to remember me by.'' He kisses you softly on your lips; you feel yourself drift into a deep slumber in his strong arms(you never really had that much stamina), drifting off into the numerous dream bubbles beyond. The last thing you heard was his sweet voice, saying your name.

You're definitely coming back again.

I feel so tired... guh, and it's not even midnight! Whyyyy?! XS Anways, I might split these one-shots apart because a)no one would be able to find the specific pairings, so lots of peeps would miss out b) it makes sure all the characters are properly organized. I just can't decide which character is the most important one here anymore. (they're all pretty awesome.) =UwU=

SO, THANKS FOR READING!