Warning: Contains mild swear words and adult themes.

Summary: Set in a (normally) fluffy AU where Donna and the Doctor have two young sons, John has returned, and they are trying to find him a girlfriend after a night out. This is a sequel to What Happened to the Acorn?

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters apart from the two people I've given them to love; and the work colleagues.

Did He Huff Or Puff?

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Sylvia placed a mug of tea and a plate of toast in front of John the following morning. "Did you enjoy yourself after all, Sweetheart?" she barely resisted caressing his shoulder.

"Oh Sylvia, I wish you could have been there!" John beamed at her. "We had such fun!"

"Can I come with you next time, Uncle John?" Jamie gave John his best puppy-dog eyes blink. "I promise to be good."

John let Jamie snuggle into his embrace, "Sorry Squeaks, but it's not a place for little boys like you. I'll take you somewhere else special soon, okay?"

"But I want to see your new friend in the feathery dress!" Jamie pouted, and Sylvia visibly melted as she ruffled his hair.

"I think your mum took some photos on her phone. Shall we ask her when she gets here?" John picked up his mug of tea carefully, so as not to spill any on Jamie, and took a sip.

"Where is Mummy?" Jamie gave him a thoughtful scowl.

"Still in bed with your dad," John made a grab for Jamie as he tried to jump off his lap. "But don't disturb them… they're having a lie in."

"Why? Daddy hates sleeping in bed for too long. I normally have to go and give Mummy a cuddle to keep her warm," Jamie informed him.

"Mummy made daddy promise to keep her warm this morning so that you could keep Nanny company," John lied.

"She did?" Jamie didn't look convinced at all. "She didn't tell me!"

"That's why she told me to tell you. Mummy forgot last night," the lies just rolled off his tongue so easily he was astounded. Perhaps his future was in sales?

"Jamie, have you finished your breakfast?" Sylvia started to fill the sink up with hot water to clean the breakfast things.

"Yes thank you, Nanny." He carried over his plate and mug, and returned to pick up Teddie's plate.

"Uncle John?" began Teddie as he finished his tea, "Why didn't you find a girlfriend last night? I mean, you found time to chat to that office friend of yours, so why didn't you chat up someone?"

"I don't really know," John wiped his hand down his face thoughtfully. "I didn't see anyone I liked enough, to be honest."

"Why don't you just ask someone, anyone, out? Treat it as practise? Or do you have to find a wife the first time?" Teddie pinned him to the seat with his inquisition.

John laughed, "I don't have to find 'the one' straight off, but… I can't seem to summon up the enthusiasm to play the field."

"What? A nice boy like you ought to be out with a girl every night of the week!" Sylvia chimed in from her washing up bowl. "It isn't healthy staying in night after night like you do."

"But we're normally out during the day, it's not like I'm living the life of a hermit," John argued.

Sylvia dried her hands on a tea towel and came to sit next to him, "Yes, I know, but you're living like a married man and you're still single! You should be more carefree." She swept some stray hair out of his eyes, "You need a young lady to keep you company."

"He's got us, Nanny!" Jamie told her indignantly. "We don't leave him alone." He came back and sat next to his brother.

"Yes, I had noticed that," Sylvia sighed. "Your poor uncle needs some time on his own. You'll understand one day." She turned in her seat, opened a drawer in the sideboard, and retrieved an address book. "How about I arrange for you to meet my friend Jean's daughter? She's a lovely girl! Works in the day nursery on the corner opposite the library," Sylvia beamed at John hopefully.

"Oh… erm… I'm not sure," John stammered. "Blind dates don't tend to go very well for me."

"Does any date, Sweetheart?" Sylvia couldn't help asking.

"Oi! I've had my moments," John defended himself. "Most of them back in Pete's world admittedly…"

"Yeah, with Roberta!" snickered Teddie. "The phantom redhead!"

"You little ratbag," John whirled on him, "she certainly did exist!"

"Too right she did! We've only got your word for it," Teddie dipped out of the way of a playful swat from John. "But seriously, Uncle John, if she existed in the alternate world shouldn't she exist here too?"

"You know, you might be right…," John thought for a second, then leant forward, gripped Teddie's head and planted a kiss on his forehead with a 'mwar', "you might be completely right!"

Teddie blushed crimson, "Just trying to help."

Sylvia squeezed his arm, "Well done, Teddie! Clever boy!"

"Now all I have to do is find her," John said wistfully.

"Good job you work with computers then, Uncle John," Teddie informed him brightly. "There's miles of information on computers!"

"I can see why your mum kept you!" John happily replied, and finished his tea with one gulp.

~o~

"Had a heavy night?" Jim handed John his fault assignments and noticed the tired expression he wore.

"Yeah, you could say that," John replied, carefully staying vague.

"Never mind! I'm sure your fan club down on the 3rd floor with help ease you back into the real world." Jim stood up and closed his office door, "By the way… heard about your little problem yesterday with Megan Dickson. Try and keep on the right side of her, for goodness sake! She tries to make my life a living hell as it is!"

"You heard?" John's brain raced through all the scenarios that could result from his problem with her yesterday.

"Yes! It's not often she goes for someone in the IT department like that. Next time just pretend you know how to do a back massage, okay?" Jim winked at him.

"Back massage? Oh yes, I'm with you now! I thought you meant…," but luckily Sarah from upstairs chose that moment to pop her head around the door and call Jim off to a heads of department meeting. John picked up his pile of fault reports from where he'd briefly placed them and headed towards the 7th floor.

~o~

Back down on the 3rd floor, John had a surprise waiting for him. "Did you really kiss Megan Dickson last night?" Leah magically appeared by John's side and grasped his forearm. "Are you two an item now?"

"Certainly not!" scoffed John, trying to keep the rest of him out of her clutches. "And she kissed me, not the other way round!"

"So you don't fancy her?" Leah shyly blushed. "You might be interested in someone else then?"

"Oh I'm definitely interested in someone else!" he smiled at her and then instantly regretted it as he realised that his words might be misinterpreted. "Not that I'm saying who I'm interested in… or even if she…," he vaguely waved his hand about, "works here."

Leah gave his chest a playful push, "Go on with you! You can tell me! I know everybody here."

"Leave him alone, Leah. You'll make Allison jealous!" sniggered a male voice from behind them.

John turned to be greeted by a very plain-looking ex-parrot woman, "Hello again! Almost didn't recognise you for a moment!" He noticed Leah looking at him with open interest, but chose to ignore the question on her face. "My brother tried out that piece of music you recommended, by the way; he said it worked a treat!"

"Did she do the…?" John was asked keenly, accompanied with a twirling motion of the fingers.

"Oh yes!" John confirmed. "He was very happy. That's between you, me and the bedpost." They both laughed together, leaving Leah looking very blank.

"Ben? You're wanted!" Sarah called out across the office. And John's new friend waved him goodbye as he went off to his meeting.

"How come you're friends with Ben?" Leah couldn't wait to ask him.

"Oh, well… the usual… you know," John answered noncommittally.

"And he's recommending music to your family?" Leah tried to wheedle information out of him.

"We seem to bring out that quality in people somehow, especially him!" confessed John.

"Does he give off a trustworthy vibe, like a doctor?" she pressed.

"You have no idea," he muttered. "Right then!" he clapped his hands, "This won't get the baby bathed! People to see, places to go…" 'People to avoid' he thought.

"Do you have to go yet?" Leah made another grab for his arm, but this time he was prepared and ducked away from her.

"'Fraid so! But I'll be back, no doubt; and you still owe me a coffee!" he gave her a small wink as a consolation, and strode off in the direction of the lift.

Leah did a slight swoon behind his back and mouthed "I love you" to his retreating figure.

"Oi! I saw him first!" Allison softly chided her.

"I think you'll find I saw him first. And I'm willing to fight you for him," Leah retorted; and they giggled in a fangirly way.

~o~

John was sitting eating his lunch in the canteen area, quite amiably with Jim, when he was accosted for the final time that day. The person in question was one Megan Dickson.

He'd been anticipating this little scene, and knew she would go for maximum publicity. Some background information from Donna had provided that snippet of usefulness. Megan had sat herself down next to him without a by your leave, and continued by glaring openly at him despite Jim's obvious discomfort.

"So?" she started the conversation that was playing in her head.

"What can I do for you this time Megan? Only, I have to remind you, under union rules, that I am entitled to a lunchbreak," he told her calmly.

Jim paled, but Megan totally ignored his presence at the table. "You don't feel the need to manhandle me then? Do you always go around treating women like that? You had no right to pick me up and toss me to the side like that!" she fumed at him.

"If you remember correctly, Megan, I was rescuing you from the anger of my brother after you had propositioned him in front of his wife and insulted her in every way possible," he took a breath. "If you had rather been physically assaulted by him than removed from the scene by me, then I do apologise," he spoke calmly to deflate her anger and give her no ammunition to use against him.

"Her! She's no better than the crap on the sole of my shoe!" Megan's fury hadn't deflated very much. "She doesn't deserve to get a man like him, she's just a… a…"

"What is she just, Megan?" he felt icy waves of anger rage through him. "You've no idea what you're talking about, or who she is."

"Oh, I see," Megan began to mock him in self-defence, "You've either got the hots for her yourself or nobody is allowed to touch your precious brother! Which one is it?"

"If this is your idea of making a play for me, well, to be frank with you, it totally stinks!" he stared at her coldly. "Next time, try not to slag off my family, will you?"

"Why, you arrogant bastard!" she sneered and shot out her hand to slap him hard; but he deftly caught it and stilled her movements.

"I believe you were about to go elsewhere," he pointedly said to her, and let go of her wrist.

She made a play of rubbing the offended wrist, and tried glaring at him again, "If you think you'll get a permanent position in this company after this then you'd better think again!"

"That's fine by me, Megan. But I'm worried about you, you need help," he continued to act unfazed by her behaviour.

"Yes, help to get you kicked out of Thompson's for good, you puffed up, irritating little…," she cranked up her rage.

"Now now! People will think you don't love me anymore," he smiled at her without any warmth. "And we were getting on so swimmingly!"

With an "Ooo-rr!" she stormed away from him and the rest of her audience.

"Was it something you said?" Jim asked him drily.

"I've no idea," John replied as he ate the last bit of his sandwich. "But she seemed a bit upset."

TBC in "Blow Your House Down"

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