Next thing Tauriel knew, she was back in Mirkwood. She sat up and took a few deep breaths. She didn't feel great, but at least the searing pain was gone. She glanced over at her mother, who was wearing a concerned expression, "I'm okay," Tauriel said quickly, "Can we try again?"
"Let's give it some time, child," she replied, "We can't tax your physical body too much"
"I'm alright," she insisted. After actually seeing Kili, she was even more anxious to return to him. A part of her hadn't been convinced that she was still alive, but that wasn't something she could just imagine. She had seen him. He had spoken to her. If wasn't sure about returning to Middle Earth already, she was now.
"Please, mother," she pleaded.
Her mother looked skeptical, but she could see the determination in her daughter's eyes. Tauriel would try again with her without her help, "Fine," she sighed, "But first, we figure out what went wrong."
Tauriel rolled her eyes at the delay but didn't argue. It had been centuries since she'd spoken to her mother, but Tauriel knew they were both very stubborn. If Tauriel crossed her again, she had no doubt her mother would forbid her from trying to go back.
"I just… got overwhelmed," Tauriel said. She couldn't entirely describe the sensation. It was pain and nothingness at the same time. She felt like she was many places at once, yet nowhere at all, "What?" Tauriel asked when she saw her mother purse her lips.
"I told you not to hide things from me," she said. Her tone was accusing, but not angry.
"I'm not," Tauriel insisted.
"I don't think you know what you've gotten yourself into, Tauriel" she replied, "But if this doesn't succeed…"
"I'll be dead, I know."
"No, Tauriel. You'll be trapped here." Her mother snapped.
"Now whose hiding things?"
"I didn't think you would have difficulties," Her mother replied quietly.
"Mother," Tauriel said as she gripped her hands "I need to go back."
"I know," she replied, "This time… try and focus less on me and more on Kili. If you can sense him, maybe you can create a stronger connection to the physical world."
"But I need your guidance!"
"No you don't, child," she said, "I was holding you back."
"Mother…" Tauriel said, voicing the question she'd had all evening, "Why are you here? You've been… dead many years. Why are you not in the Halls of Mandos?"
"Because of you."
"Me?"
"You know Elves have to make the conscious decision to leave the world," She explained, "I never made it because I somehow sensed that you would need me someday."
"But, you said the longer I remained trapped the more likely it is that I wouldn't be able to move on. Will you be able to?"
"I don't know," she replied sadly, "I've never tried."
"Mother," Tauriel began, "Promise me that once I'm gone, you will try and move on the Halls of Mandos."
"Tauriel…"
"Please, mother," she pleaded, "I wouldn't be able to live knowing you're trapped here. And I'm sure father is anxious to see you."
"I'm sure he is," Her mother smiled, "I will try, child."
Tauriel lied back on her bed, momentarily satisfied with the answer. She didn't know if she'd ever see her mother again. Since she was no somewhere between Elf and human, she wasn't sure if she belonged with any afterlife. Maybe she'd be doomed to spend the rest of her days in this strange inbetween world anyways. She couldn't ponder what would happen when she actually died. Right now, she wanted to live. She closed her eyes and pictured Bard's kitchen again.
Kili didn't wake up until he felt someone shaking him. He sat up groggily and wiped the sleep from his eyes. As predicted, his back and shoulders ached from sleeping hunched over, but he was pleased to see that he still gripped Tauriel's hand. The first rays of sun were peeking through Bard's window, meaning he'd only gotten a few hours of sleep.
"How has she been?" Sigrid asked after she saw Kili was awake.
Kili hesitated before answering. Something told him that whatever had happened to Tauriel a few hours ago hadn't been something Sigrid could deal with, "She's been fine," he lied.
Sigrid looked at him skeptically but didn't argue, "I need to change her bandages," she said, "Can you go check on the children?"
Kili nodded and stood up. He took a few moments to try and stretch the pain out of his back before he accepted that he was going to hurt all day.
He opened the door as quietly as he could, but he could see that many of them were already up. Were children supposed to be awake this early? The child Kili had held last night very nearly tackled Kili as he launched himself into the dwarf's arms. Kili laughed and embraced the child. He would deny it if anyone asked, but he was growing fond of a few of them. Or course, as soon as Tauriel was well, he would probably never see any of them again. It wouldn't be right for a warrior to return with a herd of children in tow. They would have to be left in Laketown when he returned to Erebor. But right now, he was willing- if not happy- to play babysitter.
"Good morning," Kili said. He was met with some nods and a few shy smiles.
"Is she alright?" a small voice asked. Kili recognized him as the child who had given him Tauriel's message last night. He still held the sleeping baby against his chest, like he was afraid of letting her go.
"Yes" Kili lied, "She's just resting." There was no point in upsetting the children, he reasoned.
"I'll keep them quiet," one of the older ones said.
"Thank you," Kili replied, "I'll see what I can do about getting you all some food."
He got a few thankful nods from the older ones and an affectionate tug on his hair from the child in his arms. Kili figured he'd start to cry if put down, so he reentered the kitchen still holding him.
"I see you've made a friend," Sigrid giggled when she saw Kili.
"Laugh all you want," Kili replied.
"I'm not laughing," she vowed, "It's good someone is taking care of them."
"What about when I leave though?" Kili asked quietly.
"I can imagine that more than a few of them are orphans," she agreed, "And I heard Da saying that we don't have nearly enough food."
Kili took a moment to consider the predicament as Sigrid went back to Tauriel. Would it really be so bad if he took a few of them to Erebor? Thorin surely wouldn't mind a few extra mouths to feed. After everything that had happened, he would surely want to help the people of Laketown.
"I'll care for them" Kili said, "Well, not all of them"
"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were getting attached."
"So what if I am?" he shrugged.
"We can discuss this later," Sigrid said, "But right now…"
"What?" Kili asked, "Is she alright?"
"It's like last night," she began, "Physically, she should be getting better."
"Legolas should return soon with an Elven healer," Kili said.
"I hope they fare better than I have," Sigrid muttered.
"You've done well," Kili said, "If not for you, she'd already be dead."
Sigrid mustered up a small smile, "I do what I can."
"Go get some rest," Kili said, "I'll watch over her."
Sigrid looked at him thankfully before going back to her room. Kili adjusted the small child in his arms and sat back down. Was it his imagination, or did Tauriel look less pale than last night? Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she looked more alive. Maybe her episode was a sign of her returning.
Before he could ponder is anymore, the door opened.
"Legolas," Kili said.
"Move," the Prince barked. Kili obeyed when he saw the other Elf who walked just behind Legolas. He must have found a healer after all. Kili felt like his presence would no longer be appreciated, so he retreated back to the children's room and let the Elf do his job.