Chapter Ten:

It felt like all I was doing lately was waking up.

And that's what I didn't want to be doing.

I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I tried to will myself back to sleep. I didn't want to deal with the world anymore, didn't want to deal with the pain. I just couldn't anymore, it was too hard. Why couldn't anyone understand that?

I heard a rustling sound in the room I was in, and wondered where I even was. I vaguely remember Eric taking me out of the club and putting me in the car. But between the sobs and exhaustion, I had fallen back asleep before we even left the parking lot. Where was I? Was I still in the same city? Had Eric tried to take me back to Dallas, to get rid of me? I didn't blame him at all if he had tried to do so. I was more trouble than anyone should have to deal with. I'm sure not even Godric would want to deal with me. I was a mess, an absolute mess. I was weak, weaker than Godric assumed I was. I couldn't keep my chin up and pretend that everything was going to turn out okay. They weren't. What was the point of being optimistic? I had gone through too much in my life to be optimistic.

"She's awake."

I tried to pinpoint the voice, but everything just seemed so far away to me. I cracked my eyes open, to try and search out the voice, but once I had, I felt a gust of wind and whoever it was had left. I sighed as I shifted on the bed...wait, bed?

I pushed myself up, ignoring the aching in my body, and looked around the room in wonder. It was a bedroom, smaller and less extravagant than my bedroom in Dallas, but it was a bedroom nonetheless. I let my hand wander over the soft cloth of the bed sheets, the mattress comfortable as I moved on it. I had almost forgotten what it felt like to lie in an actual bed. My eyes roamed around the room, finding no windows, but two doors on opposite ends of the room. There was no other furniture in the room but a nightstand and what looked like a closet across from the bed. The walls were a deep burgundy, but there was a lamp dimly lit on the nightstand to light the room up.

"You're awake."

I jumped at the smooth voice, my eyes falling on Eric as he stood in the doorway that I assumed led out of the room. He was wearing loose black sweatpants with a blue stripe riding up both legs, a black wife beater singlet over his muscled body. I was sure if I wasn't in the state that I was in, I would appreciate the biceps on his arms and the way that the shirts showcased his abs. His blue eyes bore right through me, as if he was search for something within my soul. I shifted uncomfortably and fidgeted with the bed sheets. It was then that I realized I was no longer in my own clothes, and instead in a large t-shirt I supposed was Eric's. Thankfully I still had my bra and panties on, but was embarrassed at the fact that he must have seen the rest of my body.

"The bathroom is through there." He inclined his head to across the room, his eyes never leaving mine.

"W-Where am I?" I asked in a soft, but wavering, voice.

"My home."

It took a moment for the statement to sink in. His home? You mean that this asshole of a vampire actually had a home! He forced me to sleep on the uncomfortable leather couch in his office at Fangtasia, all while having a perfectly suitable home? I wanted to hit him. No, I wanted a stake to fly into his chest. Needless to say, I was beyond angry. Every single emotion I had been feeling over the past week was now transformed into anger. It was easier to just be angry at the vampire. Anger was an easy emotion. The wish to just die was not.

"You're angry." He cocked his head to the side.

No shit Sherlock!

"You also have a pathetic desire to end it all." His lips curled down into a frown.

I wasn't sure if he was remembering what I had told Godric, or felt it in the unwanted blood bond we now had, but either way I didn't care. I pulled my knees up to my chest, my eyes now gazing down at them as I couldn't meet his eyes. I felt ashamed and embarrassed for feeling this way, but I just couldn't help it. What was the point anymore? What was there to look forward to?

"You're weak human emotions won't get you anywhere." He stepped into the room further.

"What do you know about emotions?" I grumbled.

"I know better than you think, little girl." He was beside the bed in a flash, grasping onto my chin forcefully. His fangs weren't out, but the look on his face was enough to make me want to run and hide. "You don't speak to me in that way."

"Don't tell me what to do." I tried to move away from him, but his simple grasp on my chin was enough to hold me in place.

"I will speak to you in whatever way I please." He yanked on my chin, causing me to wince softly. "Now you will go clean yourself up. You're smelling up my house."

"That's your own fault."

"You will not speak unless you're asked to." His eyes narrowed. "I don't wish to hear your pathetic squeaky voice."

He gave one last yank on my chin before stepping back.

"Bathroom, now." He pointed behind him at the door leading to the bathroom.

I bit my lip to keep from tearing up as I pulled myself out from under the bed sheets. I didn't even care that I was half naked as I left the bed and padded across the room to the door. I looked over my shoulder to find that Eric was no longer in the room, and I sighed in relief. I didn't even pay attention to what the bathroom even looked like as I stripped the clothes off and hopped into the shower. The moment I turned on the hot water, I was in a whole different world. I just stood there, with my eyes clothes, as the water washed over me. It was the most comforted I had felt in days. The water felt so warm as it washed away the grime and hidden blood I hadn't been able to wash away from a week ago. I never wanted to leave this spot, never want to go back out into the real world. I felt safe here, as the water cascaded down around me. I felt protected by the water.

I wasn't sure how long I had been in there for, but I was soon jostled out of my calm trance by a loud knock on the door.

"Hurry it up!"

I sighed as I let the water drop around me for one last moment before turning the water off. I stepped out of the shower, taking a towel from a shelf and wrapped it around myself tightly. I tried to listen into the other room, wondering if Eric was still there or not, but at the sound of another knock, it was obvious that he was.

"I'm coming." I grumbled, making sure I was hidden as best as I could be before opening the door slowly.

"Finally. We need to..." Eric spun around from where he was pacing, his eyes immediately on my practically naked, and dripping wet body.

My cheeks flushed a dark shade of red as I stood there awkwardly. I toyed with the ends of my hair as I watched Eric's expression from the corner of my eye. He was absolutely frozen to the spot, his eyes glued to me. I was a bit surprised. There wasn't anything special to me. I wasn't tall and blonde like the usual whores I'm sure he fucked and sucked the life from. I was petite, shorter than Godric who wasn't very tall to begin with. I wasn't stick thin, but at a healthy weight that I was happy without. Though I could tell that I had lost a few pounds over the past week from the exhaustion and lack of food. My hips were curvy, though my bottom was smaller than I would have liked, as were my breasts. I wasn't perfect, far from it. The only feature on my body that I praised, were my eyes. They were bright (or usually they were. When I had peered at myself in the mirror they seemed so dull and lifeless) and a shade of green I hadn't seen many people have. They were a unique feature, the only one I deemed pretty. Everything else was just so plain. How could the sight of my almost naked body possibly stump him?

"Er...um...my clothes?" I bit my bottom lip as I tried to think of what to say.

He merely pointed to the bottom of the bed where my suitcase was now lying. I nodded and continued to watch him watch me. There was no way I was going to move even closer to the vampire. Not when I could feel the heat rolling through my body from his stare. For once, my mind was completely off of what had happened in that motel room, and instead, my mind was focused on those two sexual dreams I've had of Eric. I couldn't help but feel attracted to him, even if he was an ass and treated me like dirt. That didn't change the fact that he was gorgeous, probably the sexiest man I've ever seen in my life. He just oozed sex. I'm sure if you looked up sex in the dictionary, his picture would be there. I wasn't sure if it was just a vampire thing, or if he had always been this jaw dropping handsome, but whatever it is, I just couldn't stop staring.

In only a matter of a blink, Eric was no longer standing in front of me. I frowned, wondering where he had gone. And then a hand was on my back. His cold hand. I jumped at the contact as the surprisingly soft hand moved its way across my upper back, his fingers tickling lightly at the skin. His other hand joined in the journey as they ran across my shoulders and down my bare arms. I could barely breathe as I just stood there, my eyes staring straight ahead. I didn't even dare move, knowing he would be pulled out of the moment. And at the moment, I really didn't want this to stop. When his hands moved over my now clean body, it felt like a shock was running through me. I hadn't felt like this before, not in reality anyways. His hands felt exactly like they had in those dreams, and even a little better. I never imagined the cold, icy hands could cause such an intense sensation on my skin. It felt like I was flying, like gravity could no longer hold me down. It was only his hands that kept me settled to the floor, rooted to the spots as his hands explored more of my body.

One hand moved down my side, moving to my waist and sliding around to my front. He pulled me flush against his chest, and I let out the tiniest moan. His simple touches drove me almost over the edge. Right then and there, I didn't remember a thing that had happened over the past week. I barely even knew what my name was. I just didn't want Eric to stop. I wanted to feel exactly like I had in those dreams, have him do to me what I had imagined him to.

He lowered his head down, his nose pushing into my wet air and sniffing my scent. I closed my eyes as his free hand moved my hair off of my shoulders as his lips began to trail up and down my slender neck. He would pause over the pulsing vein leading to my life source, kissing the spot harder than anywhere else, but his fangs had yet to retract. I didn't even care if they did. At that moment, I felt completely safe in his arms. I wasn't sure why, as he had shown me that he cared very little about me. Maybe it was because Godric was his maker, and I had always felt safe with Godric. Or maybe it was just the tender way he was treating me right now. But I just felt so comforted, so protected. I really didn't want this to ever stop.

And then his stupid phone went off. Of all things to interrupt the moment, his god damn phone began ringing like mad. I wanted to break that thing and continue on where we were headed. It was the first time I felt somewhat okay, and I didn't want that to just go away. Because I knew, the moment his hands left my body, the moment he left this room, everything would just go back to how they've been. And I wasn't exactly sure how much longer I could take that.

"What?" Eric snapped as he answered his phone, though he kept his arm firmly wrapped around me. "What do you want Bill? I don't care about your little problems, I have my own."

I felt incredibly awkward just standing there, up against his chest, as he spoke angrily into the phone. I didn't even try and get out of his grasp, even though sooner or later he would move. I sort of liked having his arm around me, as if he was protecting me from the world. I knew he was just interested because I was practically naked, and would be an easy fuck for him. But I couldn't change how I felt.

"Fine. Meet me at Fangtasia."

He grumbled in a different language as he hung up the phone before laying a single kiss on the back of my neck and pulling away. I tried to not look disappointed as he moved around me and towards the door. He stopped in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at me.

"You won't be needed at Fangtasia tonight."

"O-okay." I nodded shakily.

"You are not to leave the house, is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Good." He looked straight ahead again. "There's food that you'll require in the kitchen. Pam is...around."

I went to tell him thanks, feeling like that was something someone would do in this situation, but before I could utter the words, he was gone. I sighed as I stared at the door way, the door now closed, wishing he was still here. But he wasn't unfortunately. Knowing I didn't have to go to Fangtasia was a relief at least. My body still ached and I needed to eat desperately. I was sure I would have to work extra hard the next time I was there, but at the moment that seemed far from my thoughts. I felt relatively normal at the present moment, or as normal as I possibly could be when I'm being locked up in a vampire's house.

I stared longingly at the bed, wishing I could crawl back into the soft sheets and sleep for the rest of my life. But as my stomach rumbled, I knew I should search out the kitchen. So I rummaged through my suitcase, pulling out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, before changing quickly. I let my wet hair fall to one side as I opened the door to the hallway and peered out. I couldn't hear a sound in the house, and I wondered where Pam actually was. Though, it was probably better if I didn't know. I stepped out into the hallway and looked around, wanting to explore. However, the sensible part of me stopped my desire. This was Eric's home. And as much of an asshole he was, I was taught better morals than to search through someone else's home. Especially when that person was a thousand year old vampire that could tear me to pieces.

Finding a set of stairs, I followed them down to what I presumed to be the main floor. The house didn't seem quite as large as Godric's in Dallas, but for only one person, it was still rather big. I began to realize, as I moved down another hallway to search out the kitchen, there were no windows in the house. Nowhere at all. He must have had this place built especially for him, or else there were some rather interesting people in this world.

I finally found the kitchen and was shocked at its beauty. Why a vampire needed such an extravagant kitchen was beyond me, but it was nicer than anything I've ever seen in my life. My hand roamed over the marble countertop as I moved around the large island to the fridge. I peeked in, and was taken back to find that it was filled to the brim. I suppose after my little breakdown earlier, Godric had forced Eric to actually treat me like a human. I made sure to thank Godric for that, even though I was sure if and when I spoke to him next, he would be giving me a long lecture about my chosen desires.

Speaking of Godric, it was then that a familiar ringtone met my ears. I turned every which way before spotting my phone lying in the middle of the small kitchen table off to one side. My eyes brightened as I rushed over to it. When I saw Godric's name displayed on the front, knowing it was him that was calling, I was hesitant to answer. I was glad to finally have my phone back in my possession, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say. I weighed the options, but I knew I would answer it eventually. I needed him right now, even if it was just to be lectured. There was just something about his cool and calm voice that sent me into a state of happiness.

"Godric?" I pulled the phone up to my ear.

"I assume Eric did what I asked of him after all."

"Well considering I'm not at Fangtasia currently and talking to you, yes, I would say that he did." I plopped down in one of the seats.

"How are you feeling? Better I hope."

"A bit. Feel refreshed at least." I made sure to leave out the fact that I felt a bit aroused after what occurred in the bedroom moments ago. "Look Godric, about what I said..."

"You were upset. I understand Elizabeth."

"How can you possibly understand?" I sighed. "I told you I wanted my life to end. How can you understand that? You should be trying to lock me up, not tell me that you understand."

"I've lived a long life Elizabeth..."

"Please call me Ellie, Godric. You know I hate that name. Please."

"I apologize Ellie." A shiver ran through me when he called me by my desired name for the first time since I had known him. It sounded rather nice coming out of his mouth. "You've gone through much more than any average person has ever gone through. You have every right to be thinking the thoughts that you are. I can only hope that I can talk you out of ever attempting such things."

"Like killing myself." I looked down at the table sadly. "I never thought of myself to ever be suicidal. Not even after my brother died did I ever feel like this. I felt lonely, empty even, but never like this. I was too young to ever feel like this when my parents died. But...I can't help it Godric. Everything just feels so hopeless."

"You're going through a darkened time, child. No one expects you to put that beautiful smile on your face and pretend that you're not upset. You are allowed to grieve, to want nothing more than to be left alone." Godric's words soothed me, making me feel less than a freak for my disturbing thoughts. "After the many centuries I've roamed this earth, it would be a lie if I told you I didn't feel what you are right now."

"You've wanted to just...end it all?" My eyebrows shot up into my hairline. "But Godric, everything seems so...perfect for you. Why would you possibly want to just end it?"

"I've lived for 2000 long years Ellie. I've seen and done things that I'm ashamed about. I have done things that would only frighten you. I have not always been this way, child. I have had 2000 long years to evolve into who I am today. I am a monster in every sense of the word."

"No you're not. You're..."

"You are fooled by who you see today." He interrupted me, and I could hear the strain in his voice. "I was a savage, I killed for sport. I am no role model, I am no heroic hero. I am just a monster."

"But..."

"It wasn't until the last hundred years I began to realize that I've been alive for so long that such instincts seem pointless. We were once human; we were once the poor souls we drink from today. I forgot that due my blind hate and desire for revenge against the human race. For so long I had killed, murdered, for no reason other than pure fun. I've seen where I have gone wrong, and I have changed my ways. But that does not take away from the fact that I am still a vampire, I am still a monster."

"You aren't a monster to me, Godric." I spoke softly. "You're...you're everything to me. You, you can't think those thoughts Godric. You can't ever meet the sun, or try and end your life by any other means. I need you Godric; I need you more than anything. I can't lose you."

"And I, you. I do not wish to lose you. One word and I will be there. You're life has more meaning than any business I could possibly attend to."

I couldn't help but smile at his words. "I'll...I'll manage somehow Godric. Just a few more weeks, right?"

"Of course."

"Godric, speaking about my life meaning something...can I ask you about..."

"About your powers." He guessed.

"Yeah." I bit my bottom lip. "I really don't think I have them. I can't be a telekinetic. I just couldn't do it."

"Yes, Eric told me about his attempt to witness your powers." There was a hint of anger in his tone.

"So then he must have told you that I couldn't do a damn thing. I love you Godric, but I really think you're just crazy. I'm nothing special."

"You are, Elizabeth." I rolled my eyes; I suppose he had gotten tired of using the nickname. "You are the most special girl I have ever met. You have extraordinary powers."

"But..."

"You just need to learn how to use them." He explained.

"So then how? I tried concentrating. It just wouldn't work."

"Where are you right now?" Godric suddenly asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "In the kitchen."

"Search out a room of comfort, if you could Elizabeth."

"Okay, I guess. But why?"

"You are going to learn how to use your powers, child."

A/N: I just wanted to take this time to thank everyone who has read this, reviewed, or put it on their story alert list and such. This is my first True Blood fic and I really wanted to get it right.