Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½™ or Warhammer Fantasy Battle™ in any way, shape or form. Fan-art based on this series –and suggestion on how to represent Ranma and the Fikskulls in games of Warhammer- would be greatly appreciated.
Author's Notes: okay, Masked Critic's against the idea of a "Warhammer Fiancée Brigade", and quite a few are for it. I think you all misunderstood precisely what I intended to do with them though. I'm thinking to have two or three girls (different races preferably) actively pursuing Ranma- though not in the childish method and petty squabbling of the Nerima Fiancée Brigade. These girls make actual, working attempts to impress him- perhaps even going with Masked Critic's suggestion and deciding to share him; I think I'll make it a long-term goal if this idea gets off the ground to have Ranma lose his virginity. But anyway; they definitely won't be beating Ranma up on a daily basis- despite popular belief; even I'm not stupid enough to think he'd stand for that with his current attitude. And the Blood Dragon is less romantically interested in Ranma (unless you count the desire to turn him into her undead spawn romantic) and more pursues him because of injured pride; she's over a century old and hadn't been beaten until she tangled with him.
But anyway, I need ideas on what sort of girls to have go after him. If you can think of any, please tell me via review, PM or (recommended) a topic in my forum- coming up with an actual reason why they start following him in the first place would be appreciated, as it makes them both more believable as a character and easier to fit into the story. Remember, I'll use at most three characters, so if you want me to use your idea, put some detail into them- the better the detail, the greater my interest, the more likely it is I'll use them.
Waaagh techniques are essentially replacement ki techniques; the concept of such fighting techniques doesn't exist in the Warhammer world. And have Gitzduffd come back and posses his staff? Hmm… now there's an idea…
Also, by majority rules, Ranma will be heading for the Southlands- that should take a couple of years (in story) and he will be acquiring the Shockwave Gauntlets and the Ledge Boots. As soon as I can figure out a way for him to get them anyway…
Chapter 10: Go East Ranma! Then Go South! Part 1
"Hey, where the hell is my shirt?" Ranma asked, looking around the small room and unconsciously picking up Gitzduffd's staff as he did so.
"It was torn to shreds, we had to throw it out."
"You what? Damn it; that was my favourite shirt! Not to mention my only one."
"I'm sure we can find you some new clothing. I mean, it is the least we can do to thank you for saving our village…"
"Not to mention the best bribe you can think of to get me and the boyz to clear off, huh? Well, don't worry; I intend on leaving this place… just as soon as my head stops spinning; who knew rejoining body and spirit was so disorientating?"
Ranma placed a hand to his forehead as he spoke this final sentence, the swirling feeling in the back of his eyeballs becoming overwhelming. Heinrich watched as Ranma stood there in silence for about ten seconds before he finally shook his head, the faint glaze disappearing from his eyes and his posture growing more rigid as he regained full control of himself. Despite himself, Heinrich was impressed; spirit/body disjunction was an extremely stressful situation, and to regain perfect control after two days spent separated -and without any training in the matter- was quite a feat.
"Actually, I had a different sort of gift in mind. But first, would you care for some food? My wife has just cooked some roasted rabbit and vegetables- I'm sure there's enough for you as well."
Ranma looked thoughtful, then nodded once. After being led to the dining room, where Heinrich's lightly flustered wife laid out the meal, Ranma simply slouched into a spare chair, still bare-chested, and ate heartily from the bowl of food he was given, completely devoid of anything resembling modesty. As he ate, and both Heinrich and his wife couldn't help but stare at the speed with which he ate, Heinrich's gaze fell upon the stone bracelet adorning Ranma's right wrist. Finally, his curiosity got the better of him.
"What is that thing?"
"This? Just a trinket Gitzduffd made fer me. Nothing special."
"Could I take a look at it? I can sense magical energy resonating from within it."
"You would… well, I dunno…" Ranma looked thoughtfully at the bracelet, idly tracing its glyphs and carvings for several seconds before, silently, he began pulling on it. Much to Heinrich's curiosity, the bracelet grew wider, allowing the human to easily slide it over his hand and pass it over to him. He examined it carefully; though the craftsmanship was far from the most spectacular he'd ever seen, the little thing held quite a large amount of magical energy. He was about to ask Ranma what purpose the bracelet served when his wife, who had been bringing in a jug of water, accidentally tripped and spilled it over their "guest". She quickly began to apologise but stopped dead in her tracks, Heinrich sharing her shock, at the sight of a red-haired –and naked from the waist up– girl sitting where Ranma had been just before.
"Sigmar preserve us!" Heinrich gasped, his wife too shocked to speak. The girl shook herself relatively dry, rather like an animal, looked down at herself and groaned.
"Damn it all! I was almost used to staying in my rightful body all the time! Can I get some hot water? Oh, and I'd like my bracelet back."
Much to Ranma's dismay, the mayor and his wife failed to comply, instead simply reacting in the usual shocked manner of someone confronted by the curse. Ranma sighed heavily; picking up the jug to discover it still had some water in it, she decided to try remedying her situation herself. Casting her mind-senses about, she felt for and discovered another cloud of the strange ki she had learned to manipulate within the Great Green. It was located somewhere beyond the village, but a mental "tug" pulled a streamer of the energy to Ranma. Focusing it within herself, she began channelling it into the jug, heating the water until steam vapour began to issue from within. With a smile, Ranma tipped the now-boiling water upon herself, transforming herself back into a boy. Throughout this he had been ignoring the babbled questions of Heinrich and his wife, but now he was back to normal he chose to answer them.
"I'm sorry you had to see that. It's a long story, but over a year ago, my father foolishly took me to a cursed battleground. There, I picked up a curse of my own; whenever I get splashed with cold water, I become a girl. Hot water will change me back to normal. Gitzduffd made that amulet to try and counter my curse; as long as I'm wearing it, I don't change. Speaking of which, I'd like to have it back now."
Staring at Ranma disbelievingly, Heinrich shook his head and handed it over, Ranma eagerly slipping it back onto his wrist.
"Now what was this bribe- I mean, gift, you wanted to give me? Though first of all, I wouldn't mind some new clothes."
"Ah, yes, quite right. Dear, if you could find some of our son's old clothes that might fit Ranma here, I'll go and get his gift for saving our village."
The Amber Magister eagerly stood up and left the room, leaving Ranma to remain seated until his host's wife regained his senses and showed him to an uninhabited room, containing a chest from which she began pulling out clothes. Nothing really fancy; good, solid clothes made from fur and leather, all of it dyed in earthy, minimal colours- if that. Ranma idly looked them over, missing his Chinese shirt, before pulling on one made from doeskin- a typical woodsman's shirt. He nodded to himself in satisfaction before turning to Heinrich's wife.
"Thanks. I appreciate this."
"Well, it's nowt use t'him where he be. Here, take a few more- ye needs more than one set of clothing. And here's some pants as well. Fine young fellow like you shouldn't be running around naked."
Ranma didn't say anything to that, instead simply accepting the lady's generosity and making a mental note to get his hands on some sort of backpack to carry this stuff in. He'd barely gotten his hands on them when Heinrich walked into the room with a strange looking mass of things in his grasp. Ranma eyed them suspiciously.
"What's that?"
"Your gift. It's a suit of leather armour, constructed from the skin of that Doombull you slew and enchanted with Amber Magic. Here, try it on."
"I don't-"
"I know you don't wear armour, that Orc Shaman told me that while you were unconscious, but leather armour doesn't hinder your movements like metal armour does. My enchantments also make it as strong as Dwarf-forged full-plate as well, so it should come in handy in your next battle."
You had to be as dumb as Kuno to miss the hint in that. Ranma chose not to comment, instead simply taking the armour and putting it on. Well, trying to anyway, after several minutes of struggling with it Heinrich had to give him a hand. Meanwhile, in the Greenskin camp, boredom was beginning to set in. And as anyone who knows anything about Greenskins can tell you; that was a bad thing.
"I'z getting bored Bigtoof. When iz we gonna getz some akshun?"
"When da Boss finally gives da orders, dat's when! Now shurrup! Yoo'z givin' me a 'eadache wit all yer whinin'!"
"Why yoo! C'mere an' say dat!"
"What are ya gonna do ta him, ya snot-eatin' wimp?"
"Yoo stay outa dis!"
Within seconds a brawl had erupted between no less than six Orcs, a brutal battle that spread like wildfire as new Orcs were accidentally kicked in the guts, punched in the face by mistake, trodden on, rolled over, mistook an insult as being directed at them or simply joined in out of boredom. Goblins stood a safe distance away, sniggering with glee as they watched the fun, even going so far as to begin betting amongst themselves over what sort of blow would be traded next and which Orc would be next to get hit, to beat his enemy or to be beaten. Some of the more enthusiastic observers took to occasionally shouting encouragement and insults to stoke the flames of battle.
"Kick 'im in da goolies!"
"Dat's it Ragnutz! Punch 'iz teef out!"
"Somebody kill anybody!"
"Kick everwun in da goolies!"
"Twenny teef dat Lurdo biffs Grunk!"
In fact it wasn't long before the Goblins started brawling amongst themselves as well. Even Bork, Widge and Troglahai caught up in the moment, until the entire Fikskull tribe was writhing on the ground like an itchy squig, the only two not participating being Rocky –who was too thick to know what was going on– and Fergee- who was too big for even the most bored Orc to think about challenging. It was far from the most welcoming sight for Ranma, now clad in Doombull-skin Armour and carrying Gitzduffd's Staff. He shook his head in exasperation.
"I can't leave this lot alone for any time at all, can I? On the other hand, I need to stretch my muscles myself, and it's probably a good idea to see if I can still swing a staff. Which means… WAAAGH!"
Bellowing an enthusiastic warcry, Ranma dove into the fray, staff swinging as he set to the glorious pastime of busting heads and taking names. This was actually a way of killing two birds with one stone… or three squigs with one boulder, as the Goblin saying went. Firstly, it helped Ranma make sure his staff-fighting skills were up to scratch. Secondly, it helped the army get over its boredom, while keeping them from thinking up any dangerous ideas like, say, attacking the villagers. Thirdly, by beating his underlings up, Ranma reaffirmed his place as the Big Boss.
Sorry this chapter took so long to get up, and that it's so short. A combination of writer's block, denied access and distractions hindered me- I was lucky to get this out. The distraction was because FFN failed to alert me via email that I had gotten any reviews for the last chapter; it was pure luck that I stumbled onto the stats and found you'd been reviewing. I think it's also cut me off from PMs too. I don't know what's wrong with it, but hopefully it'll resolve itself soon. To get back on topic, what opponents do you want Ranma and the Fikskulls to go up against in the next chapter, which is about him heading westwards beyond Wolfenburg; Beastmen, a rival Greenskin tribe, or ending up in a threeway against humans and Beastmen?