Axiom Tilt Chapter 10

"Phryne, please," Jack had placed himself so she couldn't get a shot at Brian Gilbert, "please."

Phryne wanted to hand him her gun. She desperately wanted to. She physically couldn't. Everything in her body was telling her to shoot through Jack if she must. Her head hurt sharply at the thought. He met her eyes with a look of absolute faith. Absolute love.

"SHOOT HIM! THAT'S AN ORDER! DO IT NOW!" Rebecca was commanding her from behind, screaming into her ear.

Against her will, Phryne cocked the hammer, "Jack… move… I need to stop him."

Jack raised his hands in supplication, showing her that she had all the power here. "Phryne, the one you need to stop is behind you. Please believe me."

The pounding of her head intensified. Light started whiting-out the edges of her vision. Her eyes drifted shut to contain the pain behind them.

"Phryne, no!"

POOMB

Rebecca was cackling behind her, "YES! Again! Shoot Brian!"

She opened her eyes and saw Jack looking at her stunned. His jaw was slack. Tears were in his eyes. He just stood there for a moment blinking dumbly. An asymmetrical circle of dark crimson spread across his chest as blood soaked through his shirt. It was a new shirt. One she'd bought for him.

Jack looked down at his blossoming bloodstain and huffed out a laugh. His brow pinched together in concern. He looked back at her as his knees buckled and he dropped to the ground.

"JACK!" she dropped to his side, pressing her hands against the blood that was rapidly pumping out of his body, "No… no… Jack… no…"

Phryne felt his hand come up to touch her cheek. She turned her focus from the wound to his face. He was smiling peacefully at her.

"Stay with me, Jack!" she sobbed.

"Thank you, Phryne," he said in a weak, gravelly voice, "Thank you for letting me love you as long as you did."

"Don't go! Jack…" she watched as the light behind his eyes went out. His hand dropped unceremoniously to his side. "Jack… don't go… I love you, Jack… Please…"

"No! Jack!" she was startled awake by the nightmare. Her heart was racing.

She blinked her eyes rapidly to clear the sleep as well as possible. Everything hurt. It felt as if she'd been hit by a rather large truck.

She realized she wasn't home. Looking around she guessed she was in hospital. It was dark except for the light from the transom.

Phryne was alone. A shiver ran down her spine. Was it true? Did she really kill Jack? It still felt horrifyingly real.

She heard voices outside her room. Happy chatter and laughter.

The door to her room opened and the lights came blazing to life. Phryne shielded her eyes.

"Well, hullo there sleeping beauty," a friendly, unfamiliar face said to her. The nurse entering the room had plump rosy cheeks and a wide smile. Her eyes glittered with life.

"Where…" Phryne's own voice sounded like it hadn't been used in ages. It was thick and deep and scratchy. "Where am I?"

"You're in hospital, Dovey," the cheerful nurse supplied.

"Is… Jack? Inspector Robinson… is he?" she couldn't bring herself to say the words. If it had been a nightmare and he was still alive, certainly he would have been here. Even through everything they'd been through lately, surely, he'd come. Wouldn't he? "Has Inspector Robinson been to see me?"

"There was a policeman to see you, Dovey… don't think his name was Robinson though. Older gent. Darling or… Starling. Yes, that's it Starling. Said he had some questions for you when you woke up. Which I guess you are now!" the nurse was far too perky. Phryne felt nauseated.

"Commissioner Starling? But no detective inspectors?" Phryne was beginning to panic. "Is Dr. Elizabeth McMillan here?"

"I saw her earlier. Do you want me to fetch her for you? She's been checking on you every day… several times a day, really."

"Every… How long have I been here?!" Phryne was fully panicking now.

The nurse checked the chart, "Four days, it says. I wasn't working when you were brought in, though."

"What happened to me?!"

"Why don't I go get Dr. McMillan?" the perky nurse finally caught on that Phryne was not fully aware of her situation, "Let me give you something to relax first."

"NO!" Phryne blurted out, "No… I'm fine. Just get Mac… Dr. McMillan."

Nurse Much-too-Perky nodded and scampered from the room.

Stinging tears sprang to Phryne's eyes. She cradled her face in her hands as choking sobs shook her. Jack was dead. If he weren't, he would be here. He would be here by her side, even after all she'd done to drive him away. He was— he had been— her rock. And she'd destroyed him.

"Phryne?" Mac's voice cut through her sobs. Phryne found herself being held in Mac's tight embrace.

"I killed him, Mac. I killed Jack. He was the love of my life… and I killed him," Phryne wailed.

"Phryne…" Mac soothed, "Phryne… it's alright."

"It's not. It's not alright," Phryne's tears were flowing down her face.

"Phryne, stop… Jack isn't dead. You didn't kill him."

Phryne looked up at her friend, disbelieving, "If he's not dead… why isn't he here?"

Mac stroked Phryne's hair sadly, "Oh, sweetheart. He wants to be," she said, "More than anything… but, well… he can't."

Phryne shook her head, "Why can't he? If he wants to be here, why isn't he here? Is he injured? Did I shoot him? I don't know what happened! Tell me what happened!"

"Phryne, he's fine. Your gun went off when you passed out, but it didn't hit anyone," Mac assured her, "But darling, Jack's not allowed to come to see you right now."

"Not allowed… Jack's a policeman! I'm a…" she trailed off. How much trouble am I in? What am I? Victim? Witness? Perpetrator? She still didn't know what happened to her.

Mac pressed her lips together, and shook her head lightly.

"Mac?"

"Jack was suspended after the… incident," Mac offered.

"Suspended?! Why?!" Phryne was indignant.

Mac sighed, "He was told to keep you under control… to keep you from going after Gilbert. He failed."

Phryne shook her head in guilty agony, "I still don't understand what happened… wasn't Gilbert… wasn't he a monster?"

Mac shook her head, "Gilbert is an ass, but he's not the monster you thought. Rebecca… Rebecca Isaacs is the monster."

"Rebecca?! But she…"

"She was poisoning you, Phryne. Poisoning your tea… and your mind," Mac told her.

"I don't," Phryne shook her head, "I don't understand. Why? Why would she do this?"

Mac shrugged, "She's… broken. Her mind is sick. She was obsessed with Brian Gilbert, and couldn't let it go. After he rejected her, she decided to ruin his life. When she found out about you… about what you could do… about what you'd been through yourself…" Mac hung her head in shame.

"You told her about… me?" Phryne guessed, "About Paris?"

Mac nodded, "She found out about you… and she used you. She used me to get to you."

"What happened to her?" Phryne asked, "What happened to me?"

"Cardiac arrhythmia. Your heart was beating too erratically to maintain. The drugs in your body added to the stress of Jack putting himself in your way to save you from shooting Gilbert…" Phryne looked at her sharply.

"He did that? I wasn't sure what was dream and what was real," Phryne said, "why would he do that? Did he know I was drugged?"

Mac nodded, "He did. But… you can talk about this one with him yourself… But he did tell me he trusted you won't really shoot him… but that he had to do something because if you killed Gilbert you'd be facing a murder charge. He couldn't bare that."

"I really felt I needed to shoot Gilbert," Phryne admitted, "Wait… What about Emily? Dr. Gilbert's fiancée. Is she…?"

"Miss Flynn is alive. But she's still recovering. Rebecca drugged her with barbiturates she'd baked into some biscuits. She didn't count on Dr. Gilbert coming home while she was still staging the scene of 'his crime'. She'd always meant to get you to kill Gilbert for her. She tried to finish off Emily Flynn first."

"And she killed Marjory?"

Mac nodded, "When she realized Dr. Gilbert had rejected her for another young brunette, she decided to ruin him by framing him as a pattern killer. She befriended Marjory—after ruining her reputation—to gain her trust and access to the murder weapon."

"But why? It's all so convoluted."

"It's a game to her," Mac responded, "She didn't see Marjory, or you, as people. She saw you as mere pawns. She was willing to sacrifice whomever she needed to sacrifice toward achieving 'checkmate', as it were."

Bits and pieces of odd things Rebecca had done— strange things she'd said— started to fall into place.

"What happened to her?" Phryne asked warily.

"After you failed to complete your mission and passed out, the gun dropped from your hand as you fell and fired. Luckily, it didn't hit anyone. Rebecca and Jack scrambled for it, but Jack was faster," Mac reported, "Rebecca was arrested. I believe he talked his superiors into allowing her psychiatric evaluation."

"How did I not see it?" Phryne put her head back into her hands.

"You don't have many," Mac opined, "But it's a blind spot for you. She knew you couldn't resist helping a vulnerable young woman in need. And she's a talented… actress."

"But Jack! He watches my blind spots!" Phryne protested, "He should have seen it."

"He did," Mac said, "He figured it out first. But you two were at odds… not working as a team."

"Why isn't he here, Mac?" Phryne was afraid of asking the question. Afraid she'd ruined her partnership with Jack forever. But she needed to know. "He may not be able to be here as a policeman, but he's still my partner… isn't he?"

Mac brushed her fingers down Phryne's arm, "He's standing in the wings, waiting for his cue… but when you were unconscious, there was nothing he could do. He has no right to visit you, Phryne."

"He has every right! He's… Jack! He's my… he's my Jack!"

"But he isn't family. Not legally," Mac pointed out, "As far as the law is concerned, he's just a stranger to you. Rebecca has sent hospital administration into a tailspin. Having a murderous nurse brings us under terrible scrutiny. Every 'i' must be dotted just so, every 't' crossed."

"The law is asinine. That isn't fair," Phryne sighed, "He's the most important person in my life and I can't see him."

"We need to keep you here a few more days to make sure there are no lasting effects of the cocktail of drugs Rebecca introduced you to," Mac informed her, "But… now that you're awake, you can give express permission to allow him to visit."

"I do… I give permission," Phryne said, "I need to see him."

"I can talk to administration, they'll want to ask you that directly… but, Phryne… it won't be until morning."

"Can you go tell Jack… tell him I need him?" Phryne's voice was raw with emotion, "He needs to know… I have things I need to tell him."

Mac nodded, "I'll tell him first thing in the morning."

"Go to Wardlow and wake him up if you have to!" Phryne ordered, "Mr. Butler will wake up for…"

"He isn't at Wardlow, Phryne." Mac stopped her.

Phryne looked at Mac confused, "Wardlow is his home. Where is he if he's not there?"

"You kicked him out," Mac pressed her lips together tightly, "He's staying… he's staying with a friend."

"I kicked him out?! I would never… It's his home, too… I never wanted him gone!" Phryne was getting extremely agitated, "Which friend?"

Mac realized too far into this conversation that she'd said too much. She never was one for holding her tongue, but she was beginning to worry what all this was doing to Phryne.

Phryne was strong and fit or Rebecca's drugs would have killed her. As strong and fit as she was, however, she'd suffered a cardiac event, and Mac was nervous about upsetting her too much.

"Mac? Which friend?" Mac was snapped out of her internal dialog by Phryne's increasingly agitated question.

"Rosie."

Phryne drew a sharp breath, "Oh. Of course."

"Phryne, he's still with you. He's still committed to you," Mac tried to explain, "But she had room and well… I think she understands him better than most."

Phryne nodded softly, "No. It's good. I'm," she dropped her head, "I'm glad she was there for him."

Mac watched her carefully. She'd known Phryne most of her life. She'd never seen her look quite so deflated.

"Are you alright? He's not going back to her, you know." Mac interrupted Phryne's thoughts.

Phryne closed her eyes and nodded. She wouldn't believe it until she talked to Jack. A part of her thought it would be easier for Jack to do that. Go back to a good woman who wasn't nearly so much trouble. She knew Jack still loved Rosie in a way. He could probably learn to fall in love with her again. Her chest ached at the thought. She didn't want to lose him, but it might not be up to her any more. Maybe Jack and Rosie should give it another go. Give Jack back the life he deserved, maybe they could try for children again like Hugh and… Oh no!

"Dot!" Phryne opened her eyes widely, "She was… was she in labour? It's all so confused! I don't know what's real! I remember Hugh hitting the wall with his fist… or do I? Mac… tell me Dot is—"

"She's fine, Phryne… She's fine… Hugh's fine… Teddy's fine… little Magdalene Phryne Collins is fine," Mac smirked at her.

"Magdalene Phryne?" Phryne raised a skeptical eyebrow at the name. That Dot would chose so provocative a name seemed out of character.

"Dot said something about the power of redemption… honestly, from the moment I deliver them until they start talking sensibly I have very little interest in them. She's already starting to live up to her namesake. I don't think they've slept all week," Mac smiled, "They're calling her Maggie."

"Do I remember something about complications?" Phryne was trying desperately to piece together her memories.

Mac shrugged and nodded, "Yes. I had to perform a Caesarean procedure. Maggie was breech."

"But Dot is alright?" Phryne asked nervously.

"No infection, no further complications, healthy baby girl. In fact," she looked at her wristwatch and standing, "I need to go check on her now. She should be going home tomorrow."

"Is Hugh still angry with me?" Phryne learned a long time ago not to be bothered by other people's emotions. She wasn't responsible for how other people felt. There wasn't anything she could do to change anyone but herself. She was remembering his anger at her leaving Teddy with Rebecca… it wasn't clear, but it was powerful. The thought of Hugh being angry at her for something so justifiably upsetting stung worse than she expected.

"Oh, Phryne… no… no one blames you for any of this!" Mac was quick to try to allay Phryne's feelings of guilt, "Rebecca Isaacs is the monster here."

"Thank you, Mac."

"I'll see you in the morning. Sadie… Nurse Logan… will know how to find me if you need me."

Phryne settled back into the less than comfortable bed. She didn't want to lose Jack. If she did, that would be her fault. If only they'd shared their fears and frustrations earlier… Well, they hadn't and now they were in a mess. She didn't see many ways out of the mess. Just the two, really.

"Why don't you trust me at all, Jack?" She cried. He was staring at her with his arms raised. Her gun was pointed at him.

He blinked at her stunned, "How… how can think I don't trust you?"

Phryne cocked the gun, "You never talk to me about anything! You keep everything inside and I never know where I stand on anything. We said we were going to be honest with each other… but you never tell me how you feel! You just go along and I have to make all the decisions. You don't even care!"

Jack's nostrils flared in anger, "I don't care? I don't… Jesus, Phryne… when am I ever given an actual choice? You do what you want to do… regardless of the consequences… and I have to either suck it up or get out. You've made that clear from the start."

"You knew who I was when we got into this," she took aim at his heart. "This…"

"This what, Phryne? What are we?" he pled.

"Nothing," She fired the gun. She hated Jack Robinson for making her feel like this. She hated him for making her the monster.

He stared at her as blood spread across his chest, "I love you, Phryne. I always have."

She stared at him in horror, and then at the gun in her hand, "Jack? JACK! No!"

"JACK!" she yelled sitting up in bed with a start.

"Good morning, Dovey," the sweet voice of Nurse Logan brought her back to reality. She poured Phryne a glass of water and helped her drink it.

"Thank you," Phryne said raggedly.

"Another nightmare?" the nurse asked her.

"Yes," she rubbed her face, "Is there any word about Inspector Robinson?"

"Oh… yes, I almost forgot," she pulled out her clipboard and flipped through the papers on it, "Dr. McMillan spoke to the administrator. He just needs you to sign this."

Phryne reached out to grab the board, signing it without really looking at it. The only sentence she needed to know was there. The sentence stating that Jack Robinson had permission to visit her at any time during her stay.

"Is he here?" Phryne said hopefully.

"Oh… I don't know, Dovey… I'll make sure the front desk gets this though, in case he comes in," the pleasant woman promised.

Phryne realized she didn't know what she even looked like right now. She'd used the toilet, but there were no mirrors in the lavatory.

"Nurse Logan!" she called after the woman as she headed out the door.

The bright-faced woman popped her head back in, "What do you need, dear?"

"Would it be possible to bathe? I'd like to feel like myself again."

"If you're up for it. Give me two shakes," the nurse replied.

Nurse Logan led her to a shower room. Not quite as luxurious as the bath she longed for at home, but it would do. She'd gathered she'd been sponge-bathed in her days asleep, but it felt good to wash away all of sleep. Once she was clean, she found a mirror. She looked terrible. Her eyes were sunken. She looked drawn and pale. At least her hair was clean now, if not damp and limp. She pulled the ugly hospital robe around her tighter. Probably better if it did take time to track down Jack. She hated the thought of him seeing her like this. Maybe she shouldn't have signed that form.

"There you are! I thought I'd misplaced you," Nurse Logan said, "Time to get you back to your room."

Phryne was allowed to walk, but she felt unsteady on her feet, leaning heavily on the sturdy nurse. They rounded the corner to her room and Phryne gasped as she saw the familiar profile and trench coat.

"Jack!" He turned his eyes away from the chart he was perusing to look at her. She didn't know what look to expect. Part of her expected anger. She knew she'd put him through hell. Part of her expected pity. She knew what she looked like, and it wasn't her best. Not by a long-shot. What she should have expected, but for some reason did not— was a look of pure and deep love… which clouded quickly to pain. It was the look she saw in her dreams just before the light went out in his eyes.

"Miss Fisher," he said cautiously.

"Let's get you back in bed, Dovey," the world had fallen away when she saw him, so she was startled by the voice beside her.

"Of course," she shuffled with help to the bed (which blessedly had been fitted with clean sheets while she bathed.)

"I'll be back soon with your breakfast, dear," the nurse offered helpfully. It didn't matter. Phryne didn't hear her any more. She got lost in Jack's eyes.

At some point it registered to Phryne that the two of them were alone, but neither one had moved or said anything. Phryne finally decided to break the silence. It was clear both of them were having long conversations inside their own heads.

"Mac tells me you're staying with Rosie," Phryne started.

Jack's brows rose, "Uh… yes… I… I didn't know where else…"

"Why didn't you stay at Wardlow?" she asked.

He closed his eyes, "I didn't know if… I wasn't sure… I…"

"Jack. Wardlow is your home. It's our home." Phryne reached her hand to him. He came to her without thought, to place his hand in hers, lacing his fingers with hers as he sat on the edge of her bed.

"Is it?" his voice was scratchy and anguished.

"Jack," she reached out her hand to his face, "Jack you are my home."

Tears flooded his eyes but didn't fall.

"I've been so… so scared," he rasped.

"Me, too," Phryne said, "I was afraid I'd never see you again. That I'd lost you."

He shook his head, "Not just with all of this… mess… with Miss Isaacs," he blinked back tears, "though… this has been the worst week of my life. No… Phryne, I've been so scared of losing you that I drove you away."

"Jack," she tilted her head at him.

"You were right. I should have trusted you. I should have trusted us… instead I…mmm," Phryne pulled him to her and kissed him silent.

She pulled back from the kiss but rested her forehead against his, "Jack. You trusted me when you had no reason at all to do so. You put your life in my hands when I was completely out of control. I don't think anyone has ever trusted me more than that."

"In retrospect that probably was very foolish," he admitted with a slight smile.

"Or very brave," she corrected, "and you didn't just risk your life, you risked your job… didn't you?"

Jack hung his head, "Uh… yes."

"Mac told me you'd been suspended," Phryne stated.

He nodded without meeting her eyes.

"Because of me."

Jack shook his head, "No. Because of me. Because I refused to follow orders I disputed."

"Orders about me," Phryne countered, "Jack, I…"

"Phryne, don't…" Jack shook his head.

They both sat silent, each stroking the others fingers soothingly. Neither knowing how to move forward.

Phryne was the first to speak again, "Jack, when I woke up and you weren't here…"

"I wanted to be here. It killed me not to…" Jack started.

"Please don't say 'killed', Jack," she interrupted him with a shudder, "In my nightmares I've… you've died over and over." Tears filled her eyes. "It's been… unbearable."

"Oh."

"And when you weren't here, I thought…" the tears fell down her cheeks.

"I see. You thought… You'd… you thought I'd been shot," he guessed, remembering the pain of thinking she'd died before they were ever lovers. He imagined how much more painful it would be now, and with the guilt of thinking he'd caused it. He reached for the back of her head and pulled her closer, dropping a kiss on her hair as he pulled her fully into his embrace. She nodded against his chest.

"It's been agonizing to not be here," Jack spoke into her hair.

"I don't want to feel like this again," Phryne said in a small voice.

Jack kissed her head again, "Phryne, I can't promise you that. Our jobs, assuming I can keep mine… our jobs are dangerous. There's always a risk of…"

"No, Jack," she said pulling up to look at him, "Not that. I don't want to ever feel like we're not a team, again. I don't want to be in a situation where we can't be there for each other."

He stayed silent trying to work out what she was driving at.

"And Jack, I don't ever, EVER want you to feel like you don't belong," Phryne reached up to cup his face.

"I don't feel…" Jack started to protest.

"You do," she countered, "You do or you would be staying at home… your home."

"What are you saying, Phryne?"

She took a deep breath, and looked him square in the eyes, "Marry me."

Jack wasn't sure he heard her correctly. He had been listening—very intently—but he thought this settled and had given up on that ever being a real option for them.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Marry me, Jack Robinson," she smiled shyly at him.

"Are you sure?" he was suddenly hit with the thought she was doing this out of fear, "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. This is never what you wanted."

She rubbed her thumb over his lips, eliciting an involuntary kiss on the pad of her thumb.

"Jack… what I never wanted was to feel trapped. To feel I had no control over my own destiny," she explained, "Marriage usually is that for women. But in protecting myself from that, I put you in the same position."

"Phryne, I chose to be in this. I knew you weren't interested in marriage," Jack protested, "I don't want you to marry me out of pity or duty."

"I love you, Jack. I want to marry you because you are my partner and my best friend, and you won't trap me… you don't," Phryne tried to explain, "I didn't want to marry anyone… not just anyone… but you aren't just anyone. You're Jack. And I want to marry you."

His mind was a maelstrom of joy and fear crashing together. His eyebrows rose in shock as he tried to process this new shift in their relationship. Do I want to marry her? More than he let himself realize.

"Ask me," He requested.

"I did ask you," she pointed out.

"No," he countered with a smirk, "You commanded it. You said, 'Marry me'…" he suddenly got nervous that this would be too much, "I'm asking you to ask me, not command me. I don't need you to ask my permission for everything you do, but if it involves me, I'd like you to ask me."

She was stunned, gaping at him for a moment (a tortuous moment where he questioned the wisdom of this new 'communicating his feelings' tactic) before breaking into a wide smile. He smiled back.

"Very well, Inspector," she grinned, "Jack? Will you do me the very great honour of becoming my husband?"

Jack put on a pensive look, "I don't know…"

"JACK!"

He laughed, "Yes! Yes! Of course, yes. I will marry you, Phryne Fisher."

She grabbed him by the sides of his head and pulled him in for a desperately passionate kiss.

As he pulled away, he looked at her quizzically, "Since you asked me, do I have to take your name?"

She shut him up with a kiss.

Thanks to all of you for sticking with this story! Not sure when the rest of the story will continue, but there are still other parts to tell.