RVB Arrancars Chorus
Long Live the King!
Washington: Look, as long as I'm leader of this team, I will do everything in my power to ensure your safety whether you like it or not.
Rey: We don't need you protecting us!
Washington: I know! That's why I'm trying to help you.
Rey: Help us with what? Defending against attack? No one is going to attack us!
Baraggan: ATTACK!
Cut to Baraggan and Nirgge in the Warthog driving toward them.
Rey: You have literally the worst timing.
Baraggan: Stow it, thin mint. We're no longer fraternizing with the enemy.
Rey: "Thin mint"?
Nirgge: Now see, when he says "we" imagine he's only referring to himself. Do not group us together.
Rey: Bitch, my armor's aqua! I think.
Washington: What the hell are you two doing?
Nirgge: Uh, again, not "two," just him. I can't stress this enough.
Baraggan: You made me believe that Reds and Blues can coexist, and we can work together as one people, and that we can all get together and be...a little...purple.
Washington: We can! We are! Seriously, what the fuck is this about?
Baraggan: You kidnapped one of my men!
Findor: Who? Me?
Rey: He wasn't kidnapped, dipshit, he came over here by himself! We can't get him to leave.
Baraggan: Is this true, Findor?
Findor: It's not your fault, sir. It's Nirgges.
Nirgge: What did I do?
Findor: You're fucking disgusting, Nirgge!
Nirgge: Well, yeah. But I've always been like that. Sarge was the one that decided to take half the base for himself.
Findor: Oh. Then I guess it is your fault, sir.
Baraggan: Then that makes you a traitor!
Findor: What?
Freckles: Threat level increased.
Di-Roy: Uh, yeah, no reason for panic. Everything's fine. Might anyone have a rolled up newspaper at the ready?
Baraggan: You weren't kidnapped! You deliberately joined the enemy!
Rey: But if he wasn't kidnapped, that would mean we were never the enemy in the first place!
Baraggan: Don't try to confuse me with your words, shamrock!
Rey: I'm aqua!
Washington: Rey, calm down.
Rey: Me? These guys roll up in a fucking assault jeep and you choose to yell at me?
Washington: Look, tensions are high-
Rey: No shit, Washington. I'm tired of you bossing us around.
Washington: Now is not the time.
Rey: You know, I disagree. We were having a talk when Tweedledee and Tweedle-fucking-idiot decided to interrupt, so let's finish this.
Washington: There is nothing to finish!
Nirgge: Are we intruding on some sort of lovers' quarrel right now?
Rey: You are the worst thing to happen to this team since blue-boy over there decided to show up.
Di-Roy: I am a man! Blue man!
Findor: You take that back. Wash is a great leader. I assume.
Baraggan: Blasphemy!
Freckles: Deadly force authorized.
Rey: Seriously, I would rather follow Di-Roy into battle than you.
Washington: Oh, really? Then let's just make him the leader, see how much better off you are!
Di-Roy: Well, I humbly accept your nomination and accept the position.
Washington and Rey: Shut up!
Freckles: Do not talk back to your commanding officer.
Rey: Wash and I are having an argument. I will be talking back to him. That's how arguments work, you fucking toaster.
Shifts to Freckles' POV through his HUD's screen. The word "DEMOTED" appears over Washington as Freckles looks at him.
Freckles: Washington is not the commanding officer.
Rey: What?
Washington: What?
Freckles: In a unanimous decision by the Blue Team, Di-Roy has been promoted to Blue leader. Captain Di-Roy is now your commanding officer. Do not talk back to your commanding officer.
Nirgge: Oh, fuck.
Di-Roy: Well, yep. This is gonna be a lot of fun.
Washington: No, Di-Roy, you can't-
Freckles turns toward Washington.
Washington: Look, Freckles, this is a misunderstanding!
Findor: Di-Roy is team leader? Fuck this.
Di-Roy: Augh, don't worry, Findor. As my first duty as leader in the position of the nomination, I say you can be on Blue Team...forever!
Findor begins to walk away from the Blues.
Findor: No thanks, I'm good.
Freckles: Private Findor.
Findor stops.
Findor: Oh no.
Freckles: Deserting your post will designate you as AWOL. This designation is punishable by death.
Findor: WHAT?
Nirgge: Uh, hey Sarge? Now the Blues have kidnapped Findor.
Baraggan: THEN IT'S WAR!
Washington: Wait! Stop!
Baraggan activates the cannon on the Warthog.
Baraggan: Say hello to robot Satan, you mechanical son of a bi-
Nirgge: Bail!
Nirgge throws himself out of the Warthog just as Freckles shoots it, sending both Nirgge and Baraggan flying out of the blown up vehicle.
Rey: Woah!
Findor: Sarge!
Di-Roy: Freckles! Bad! Bad! No!
Freckles: Primary threat eliminated.
Dordoni 2.0 runs into the area at the sound of explosions.
Dordoni 2.0: (Translated to English) What was the explos—HOLY SHIT. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Findor: Sarge! Are you okay?
Baraggan: (grunts in pain) No, Findor. I'm afraid I won't be okay...until I exact my revenge!
Nirgge: Seriously, I am not affiliated with this lunatic. He does not speak for me.
Baraggan charges toward Freckles.
Baraggan: HYAAAAH!
Freckles: Engaging target.
Di-Roy: Freckles, no!
Washington: Sarge, don't!
Cut to a gun being shot into the air. Both teams slowly turn toward the source of the sound.
Charlotte: Man, you guys are really noisy.
A pause, before both teams (minus Di-Roy) run toward Charlotte. Indistinct cheering.
Charlotte: Aww! You must have really missed me!
Nirgge: Charlotte, thank God you're here!
Baraggan: We were just about ready to kill each other.
Rey: Speak for yourself.
Washington: Where's the ship?
Charlotte: What ship?
Washington: The ship you came here on. The rescue team.
Charlotte: Ohhhh. Hah-hah, duh! Allow me to introduce: the rescue team!
Pans to the right to show Szayel standing a little ways off.
Szayel: 'Sup.
Findor: Doc?
Washington: Wait. What is this?
Szayel: Charlotte told me you guys needed help.
Charlotte: So I got the best help money could buy!
Szayel: You didn't pay me.
Charlotte: And I didn't tip the pilot! That's formality.
Baraggan: What pilot?
Charlotte: The pilot that dropped us off, dummy.
Rey: "Dropped you off"?
Nirgge: As in, he's not here anymore?
Charlotte: Exactly.
Di-Roy runs over to join the group.
Di-Roy: 'Sup?
Washington: So you're telling me...that you heard our distress signal...grabbed Doc...hopped on a ship...and then TOLD THE SHIP TO LEAVE? AND THAT'S YOUR IDEA OF SENDING HELP?!
Charlotte: What? No! I brought Dordoni, too!
Cut to Dordoni 2.0 standing next to Dordoni's disembodied head.
Dordoni: (Translated to English) What The fuck.
Baraggan: Kill him!
The Reds and Blues converge on Szayel and Charlotte and drag them behind a rock. The sounds of punching and beating commence. Indistinct angry yelling can be heard.
Charlotte: Someone get this maniac turquoise guy away from me!
Rey: I'M AQUA!
Cut to Locus on an outcrop watching the group from afar through the scope on his sniper rifle.
Locus: Huh. Unfortunate.
Locus then proceeds to activate some form of cloaking device.