Wheatley came to a stop, an odd sensation after so much acceleration. Once still a couple of hooks unsheathed from the management carriage flaps. Each came up and hooked around the rail as if they were a safety chain. He felt quite secure now, and let the stillness soothe and sort out his scattered functions. The arm of his management carriage dangled down from the base as he relaxed his joints, accordion rubber stretching out to compensate.
He closed his shutters, only a second, and then felt himself drifting, so he opened them precisely one second later. No way he was falling asleep up here! He stared directly below into fog. He may have been thirty feet in the air, or three miles. He couldn't tell. But judging from the acoustics, it was more likely on the latter end of the scale.
The core noted the quietness inside himself, and that mountainous presence that his conscious brushed against was remarkably… not there. His mental capacity jaunted around, to and fro, querying for her. His queries quickly turned hectic, and he began to churn through all his data.
I'm still here.
A charge of relief took him.
Oh, good. I… um…
He noticed how distant she was. All kept to herself. It was funny, but that made him feel incredibly underpowered, as if a whole swathe of his systems were locked off. This being 'blended' was good fun, alright.
I… uh… I think we're safe…?
Not forever. I wouldn't put it past those monsters to try sawing this rail down.
Wheatley jumped, and his frame curled up, eying the rail with trepidation.
Oh, stop that.
I'm going to find something more solid. Not a fan of heights.
Wheatley unhooked his security locks and glided down the rail, a soft glow emanating from the pulse array. Now that he had time to reflect on such trivialities, he quite liked the blue glow it emitted. It matched his optic! It would have been nicer if it'd been of the more purple-y persuasion, but that wasn't too big a deal.
You're not as slow as was projected. Against all odds, you were barely adequate at dodging that monster.
Oh, really?! Yeah! I guess I was!
This isn't time to celebrate. We still have a long way to go. Let's just hope they can't intercept this rail anywhere.
He saw a support column draw through the fog. He glided across the rail to its massive side, noting how it seemed to stretch far below and far above, its ends obscured in the mists. It was more solid than nothing at least, what with its beveled tie-ins serving as nests for birds. He espied support beams that crossed the columns far below and above, disappearing to the east and west. He followed the rail, parking where it looped around and bolted into the column.
Say… is there, any reason, any reason at all that there are two Military Androids on the hunt for you?
I… I don't know.
She was quiet. The depths of the facility dwarfed him.
That's it? That's all you're going to say? Really?
She ignored him a while longer. Distant metallic creaks bellowed through the nothingness.
What do you want me to say?
Who's that core with the red optic? The massive cat one?
I don't know exactly. I just… remember something about him.
Something? Yeah, well, you remember me and I'm pretty… well, judging by your reaction, I'm not exactly a pleasant memory. Still, I'm not trying to stab you!
For now…
What's THAT mean?
You weren't the only piece of garbage they attached to my chassis.
Garbage?!
Oh, did I call you garbage? I didn't mean you, I meant… your… purpose.
"I AM NOT-"
He huffed.
How's that supposed to make me feel any better?
You like to deny your purpose when it helps you operate. Which is always.
Can you not…?
I'm not. I don't care to go into the particulars of what we are, why we are, but rather where we are. I need to figure out how we can hook up into the storage annex without drawing much attention. This might take a minute or two.
Alright.
Wheatley waited for her to figure out their best path, staring out at the misty silver clouds rolling through the open space.
Huh, I never thought it, but we do seem to have a bit of weather down here, eh?
Yes. It's the greenhouse effect.
Ah.
He pretended to know what that meant. Wheatley was simply pleased to gaze into the swirling water molecules, using his incredible one thousand mega-pixel vision to zoom in on all the details. Unfortunately, the vapor was condensing on his optic screen.
Ugh. Just when I thought it was going to be pleasant.
He was fogging up really bad. He couldn't hardly see.
Hey, do you have any… any dry cloths on you? A system suggestion is to put Rain-X on my optic. Do you have any of that?
I'm not actually there. I'm in your mind, remember?
Oh. Sorry.
Wheatley was wondering if there would be any fuzzy objects to wipe his optic off on anywhere. Of course, the only time he recalled seeing fuzzy objects was around humans, and humans were quite possibly a bigger hassle than the two androids.
I can't see.
It'll dry. Try closing your shutters, they should squeegee any moisture off.
OH!
He blinked, and his vision was immensely improved. But it missed a tiny slit of water in the center.
SERIOUSLY!?
Wheatley was wrestling with his optic, turning it every which way and blinking to squeegee the water off his ocular input screen. He was growling and thrashing about… over an abyss, no less.
Stop that. I don't want you flying off again.
Hey, first time wasn't my fault.
Whatever.
Wheatley gave her a stink eye, metaphysically. He went to say something, but felt a tremble in the rail.
Stop moving! You'll fall off.
It wasn't me!
Oh, really?
It wasn't!
Another shudder coursed through the rail.
You really are a moron. Stop it.
I'M NOT DOING IT! And stop calling me that!
Wheatley glared up at the rail, silently wishing it would stop. As if to taunt him, it trembled again.
For crying out loud, would you-
I. AM. NOT. DOING. IT.
Sure you a-wait a second.
The rail shook. Hard.
Oh… oh… oh no. THEY'RE SAWING INTO THE RAIL.
Don't be ridiculous.
Then WHAT? What could possibly be going on?
Wheatley squinted past the bead of water, that one bit that could not be squeegeed off in the center of his optic, and through the mists. The tremors in the rail mounted, closer together, and through the swirling clouds a bloom of red appeared.
IT FOLLOWED US.
Wheatley engaged his pulse array, accelerating away on a jet of blue. He tucked himself close to the rail to minimize drag, the action automated like an instinct. The thuds grew closer and closer; louder and louder. A grotesque growl echoed in the abyss. The rail began to shake with such a force Wheatley didn't know if he could hang on.
And then he was not on the rail anymore, but instead falling into the abyss, spiraling helplessly in the air…
…and then he hit the floor, having traveled downward a whole ten feet.
Wheatley landed with a slight jostle on his hovering base, the pulsing jets cushioning the fall almost entirely. A very good feature he had no time to reflect upon since they were still both screaming. It was hard to blame them; their processing latency was high from an emotional tax. Their relative safety registered, finally, and they stopped screaming.
Oh.
OH! Hey! I'm not dead! That's a big stroke of-
GO LEFT.
Wheatley flicked his optic back in his shell, dodging left as the Military Android came down upon them. The impact dented the flooring, and sparks flew as he tried to gain traction to round on them.
A snarl rippled from the android's voice box as he threw himself forward. Though Wheatley dodged an attack again, she was struck with dread.
Good news! I know what that thing is.
Oh, FANTASTIC! Just in time for me to be murdered!
He dodged a snap from the handlebars of this monster.
Bad news? It's the Anger Core. They attached it to me to absorb all of my negative emotions.
The monstrous Anger Core heaved out a snarl.
You must be a very angry person.
Well…
Wheatley found an avenue of escape on this section of facility, and bolted past the Military Android toward a gap in the half-unmade walls. This was some sort of abandoned juncture, a spot where test subjects had once lingered between tests. However, the chambers had been moved and the section of panels stood alone, an island amidst the silvery void.
Wheatley burst through a door frame to nowhere, the Military Android close behind.
He's commandeered a Ravager frame. An outlawed frame. These were discontinued a long time ago. Too deadly. By human standards.
GREAT!
The Ravager's form was considerably lithe compared to his mass. His long tail worked as a counter-balance as he turned sharply to keep pace with Wheatley through the crooks and corners of the abandoned strip.
It is 'great'. I can call up the technical sheet. Now I know his tolerances and limits. He's not waterproof or gooproof, and he can't fly or hover. You're faster than him.
That's going to help?
It's just helpful to know an enemies' weak points. Hmm. He also has a weak connection between his core and his body. Maybe we should try cutting off his 'head'.
Like I can get that close!
It's a thought.
I'M GLAD YOU HAVE TIME TO THINK.
Wheatley screeched and dodged a pounce, the monster scraping his shell. The Ravager shrieked too, digging his claws in for purchase. Wheatley was too busy watching the Military Android and not the ground, and he nearly tumbled into oblivion. Instead of that, he managed to hook onto the side of a wall. He sped along, the floor below appearing and disappearing, going from panel blocks to shimmering drops.
For a moment he wondered if he'd lost the android, but… no. No luck was with him today.
Above the wall a catwalk spanned and the Ravager was speeding down it, eye trained on his prey beneath. Wheatley zipped through a crack in some panels, clipping them and leaving a cloud of disintegrated insulation. Flashes of old testing signage lingered, held in by only one or two screws.
Hey, your function is to build test chambers, correct?
I do so much more than-
But it's A MAIN bit, isn't it?
…yes.
Can you alter anything around here? Like… I dunno'… smash this cretin? If I lure him into your reach?
My reach? I'm disconnected, you moron!
But we hacked in, and used cameras, SOMEHOW!
Through you.
Wheatley had an idea, which was great to him, but terrible to her.
I am not-
I might die! And besides, if I'm going to help you I need tools. We are not going to get anything done with these bastidges after us.
Oh, FINE. But only because you're in an old testing hub.
She directly conveyed to him the protocol for manipulating panels in ways beyond his basic programming.
That's a lot.
You asked for it.
She kept shoving the instructions inside his storage. He didn't have enough space, but she deleted junk programs and made way. He was desperately trying to keep a focus on moving whilst his disk strained to keep pace.
There. Now, you should have the basic tools-
That was ONLY basic?
-be QUIET. Open that section of panels!
He'd been so caught up in the running and the downloading that he hadn't seen a nigh-impassible wall on the horizon. With the Ravager on his tail he couldn't exactly slow down either to figure things out. Wheatley fumbled around with the controls. Only a split second before impact the panels gave way to him, allowing him to pass through.
SHUT THEM.
He turned around, his innards warm from processing. The panels curled back into the proper places before the Ravager could burst through. The wall buckled from the impact of the Military Android, and a disillusioned cry filtered through, followed by several sharp rakes.
Now, go down this walkway. Don't touch the wires. See that?
His display had a few new features. He saw a target indicator move to a new coordinate, highlighting an object for him.
Whoa. Yeah, I see it.
The object was the size of a building, or larger yet. It was suspended on great rails in the silvery abyss.
That's an old test chamber. You'll have total control in there, and they don't know that yet. Get in, and then we'll have fun. Hurry, though. Ravagers are good climbers.
Wheatley sped off for the test chamber, excited and desperate.
This one is unfinished. It has no entrance. But there's a support strut that leads up to it's base. We can make a way in.
He zipped over onto a catwalk, and his pulse array made the grated steel hum. He gave the jets a burst of energy and hopped into the air, landing on the railing. From that precarious position he sized up the gap between the railing and the support strut. It was a good four meters away.
Wait, are you seriously…?
Wheatley ran a simulation quickly, and with a positive result, made a snap decision. He gave his jets a burst of power again and hopped over the abyss. She screeched.
He finally landed on the side of the support strut, not too far down its length, and gave her a quizzical thought.
What?
I'm fine. I'm fine. You're… not scared of heights anymore, are you?
What heights? Wh-
Wheatley realized what he'd done, and then a late fear reaction gripped him.
OH, BLUDGEONING HEGGLEDOUGY, DID I JUST-OHHHHHH…OHHH DEAR…OH, THIS IS BAD. THIS IS WHY I CAN'T DO THIS… OH… OH…
He was going to be sick, mechanically speaking.
I spoke too soon.
Wheatley was dizzied, flattening his frame to the support structure.
Oh, come on. Don't make me hack into your motor controls. You can do this. You are… the world's… first… climbing core. Mountain climbers are fearless, and statistically they live hard and die young.
NOT HELPING.
Just climb!
CLIMBING.
He got to a crossbeam on the strut; part of the support structure of Aperture's cubic top layer. He saw the length of the beam stretch far away, and the test chamber was held on it by sliding hooks.
So that's how test chambers move…
Wheatley made sure to stay in the center of the beam the entire journey over, going a much more responsible speed. Once at the chamber's base, he stared up at the black exterior with trepidation. The gray arms on the outside leered at him with sharp aqua eye-lights. He decided the best the thing to do to get in would be to try and assemble a ramp out of the exterior's wall panels.
After the third time he'd gotten the panels tangled and untangled and tangled again… she'd had enough.
Let me fix that for you.
She forcefully imposed her controls over his, like an overlay, or rather as if she'd grabbed his hands and forced him to manipulate certain things. The manner in which her 'hands' worked was more precise, methodical, and mathematical. He was amazed at all the figures flying past his conscious mind.
Of course, the weird part was how close they were. Technically speaking, they were the same system. Bit per bit, string by string, cognition of cognition. It was surreal. He was performing actions and it wasn't him. Yet it was.
It was a… a… well, he'd had a word for this, but he'd deleted it, hadn't he? It was… impossible? It was…
…a paradox.
He panicked when he couldn't discern who'd answered.
Pay attention.
He was forced to go through the logical steps whether he liked it or not. It was quite odd, but after a moment spent as her the movement of panels came as easy as any other system. It was instinctual, like breathing was to a human.
The ramp was formed and he could get in. He wasted no time, zipping up the panels, and he felt each revert to its original position. Once inside the chamber he felt… better. Like he belonged. Like the panels were hugging him.
Seriously?
Also, there were no bottomless pits or anything else that could hurt him! Well, actually there were lots of deadly things, just not heights and rampaging androids, which was fine.
He espied a camera, and then another and another, each of them rousing from sleep mode. They gingerly tilted up, scanning lazily before snapping to focus on him. Suddenly, he felt a whole lot less comfortable.
Why did everything here have to stare?
Good. Now, to your left we have a pit of toxic goo, and to your right we have deadly lasers. Unfortunately I don't have spiked plates, and the panels aren't rated high enough to do sufficient blunt force trauma. There are aerial faith plates, though. If you input a high enough weight they'll definitely pack a punch. We could also literally shoot them into the abyss. And there's a crusher beneath the floor, just in case.
Wow. Uh. That's a lot. What… do… I begin with…? Any suggestions?
First, we have to make sure it's solvable.
What? The… like a test?
Yes.
…why?
Trust me. You don't want to know what it's like to activate a test without a solution.
She shuddered where he could feel it.
Uh… alright… I'll take your word for it. So…?
Call in a Press Pagoda, tie the button press to the door so that when it's pressed the door opens, thus completing the test. It's solvable. You're done.
Press Pagoda…?
A Button Pedestal.
Oh! I can do that.
Wheatley didn't even know how, but he could. If he ordered, the facility yielded. It was fascinating, honestly. He called this 'Press Pagoda' in, a claw arm delivering it, rather extravagantly, and setting it down on the floor. The hooking-up process might've taken a while if she hadn't been there to walk him through it.
There! It's solvable. Now… the trap!
We need to set up a place for them to come in. A weak point. That way we know their entry and can begin. Like… oh, right there. They'll have to pass that section of the exterior.
She used his display to signify a section of the chamber. Wheatley decreased the solidity of those panels, one hanging open temptingly.
And he won't think it's a trap?
I think his reward is killing me, or something, and he really wants to, so he'll take risks. Now. Let's set up some deadly lasers. A cubic perimeter around our pit of death. Find their addresses, and then reassign them to the coordinates by the wall adjacent. Here. I'll mark it for you.
She felt him rearranging the testing elements accordingly.
The crusher goes in the center of the room, beneath a trap door… that's button activated. Now that deadly goo… you can create a moat by diverting the goo channels and increasing the goo levels. Also, we need to position the faith plates at coordinates where they can spring our prey back into the death pit if they-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
It hadn't taken long. In fact, it had taken less than a minute for Wheatley to utterly ransack the chamber. Thermal Discouragement Beams were crisscrossing, burning holes into the untreated panels. The floor had been carved into, slapdash, with winding nooks all along it, and similarly the ceiling had been decimated. This perfect cube had been turned into a lumpy pear-like conglomeration.
It had literally gone pear-shaped.
What am I doing? Oh, just putting the extra lasers around. You know. Sort of make it like a giant limbo game.
Limbo?
Yeah! The one where people squeeze themselves underneath things. Kind of weird, now that I think on it. Why would anyone want to do that? Huh. Well, anyway… This is like limbo, but from every angle! He won't know what him 'im, poor creature. He'll be cut to bits!
He indulged himself a chortle. She wasn't laughing.
Oh, and by 'crusher in the middle of room' did you mean… well, the crusher on the opposite wall coming out on pistons to crush him and chew him up like a slow mashy spike plate? But obviously less mashy and more spinny. I mean, it's pretty great. We corral him with the deadly lasers, and then we literally do the 'crush him between too walls' thing. It's dynamite!
What.
Oh, and I set the goo on fire.
That's lovely.
Isn't it? Just shoot it with a laser and it goes right up. Kind of like… what was it… oh… napalm? Right? Yeah.
She inspected the 'moat' with a camera positioned on the wall.
Do you even know what 'moat' means?
You'd be inclined to think not. But it IS in my database! And erm, well, see… the goo was getting everywhere as I kept diverting it into the wrong channels, so I just thought I'd let it go where it pleased. Now we have a flaming goo river!
It's everywhere. Everything is everywhere. You DO know that you can be hurt by this too?
Wheatley took pause, optic flickering around the room.
Did not consider that. That is important.
A clashing outside announced the Ravager's presence… and proximity. A staggering jolt of apprehension took Wheatley.
Ummm… I'm just going to…float over here… and increase my altitude!
He selected a panel to raise, and the telescopic arm unsheathed itself, rising high with Wheatley atop it. He gazed over his creation, realizing how high up he was now.
And I'll give myself railings.
A few panels emerged and wrapped about the base, giving the platform a generous lip.
Don't want to fall off, do I?
Don't fall.
I won't!
She scrutinized him internally.
You need a way to activate all of this.
Wheatley simply had the Press Pagoda that was already in the chamber ferried up to him. He then began to tie all the testing apparatuses into it. Now that everything was set, all they had to do was wait.
The Ravager's claws scraped against the chamber's side tentatively. He clanged along the struts, his footfalls considerate as he eyed the chamber. He crept about the perimeter, and finally took hold of the panel so temptingly dangling. The Ravager batted at it, watching it wobble uselessly. His dark clawed fingers came through the breach, prying it open. He forced his bulk through, slinking into the chamber. Red optic narrowed, he went to scour the area, but the confusing shape had him stumped. He jerked back, ear-like spikes down, his interface offended.
His prey was sitting high atop a panel with a button beside him, wearing a cheeky grin.
"Come after me, if you DARE!" Wheatley attempted to lure the Ravager.
The cat machine surveyed the room, sniffing at the blazing goo pits and eying the many testing apparatuses. He smiled.
Well, then…
"I will…DESTROY…YOU!" Wheatley attempted to lower his voice to sound commanding, "for you-you have been a thorn in my side LONG ENOUGH!"
Dramatic.
Don't judge me.
The Anger Core cried up to them, his voice surging with the tides of decades of intrigue, "you can feign stupidity, and you can feign an incredibly realistic British accent, but you cannot feign yourself!"
What is he talking about? Is he talking about me? Is he talking about you? Did he just call me an idiot?!
I don't know.
"That doesn't make any sense, mate. Also, while we have a dialog going, can you tell me why you're trying to kill me?" Wheatley asked the Military Android below. "That would help tremendously."
The Ravager lidded his optic, unimpressed. His crown spikes fell flat against his silhouette as he tip-toed forward, bobbing his head to gauge the distance to the top of the panel that Wheatley sat upon. The Military Android poised for a leap. It was obvious he had no intention of answering.
"Well, death it is then!" Wheatley smashed his face into the button. The red plastic circumference fit his optic perfectly, and made a satisfying click noise.
That was the last satisfying noise they heard. The laser beams shot out at every angle, the goo's flames leapt into a frenzy; several things simply shattered from being implemented wrong. The crusher's dull groan filled the room as it pushed forward and demolished anything in its path.
The Anger Core pounced forward, dodging several beams of energy with ease. Gracefully, he glided over pits of on-fire goo. The two grew exceedingly worried he was going to slip through their trap. And then a laser clipped the cat's tail and he spasmed, limbs lost in a flurry of white and red. What could only be described as a metallic Mexican yowl echoed in the chamber. The panic reaction utterly consumed him, and soon he was a blur that bounced off the panels.
Wheatley started chuckling; then laughing.
The cat machine flopped, and hit one of the aerial faith plates scattered about the room. This shot him straight into an on-fire goo pit.
Wheatley felt her start to laugh too, a very subtle and sneaky giggle, but a laugh all the same. This only bolstered the hysterics. Their laughter fed one off the other, and they couldn't metaphysically breathe by the time she noticed something.
Is the panel moving?
Wheatley stared down, and his panel terrace was catching fire at the edges, the supports already aflame. Whatever the deadly goo was made of, it stoked the fires to unprecedented heats. Whilst the vital testing apparatuses seemed impervious to the heat, there were certain components to the chamber itself that were failing. Namely, whatever kept the panels rigid, as everything was sagging and bending, as if made of wax.
Turn off the lasers!
Wheatley attempted to shut down the lasers. He only managed to increase their potency.
Uhhh…
HOW DO YOU TURN SOMETHING THAT'S ON MORE ON?
I don't know! That's just what I do! I can't help it!
WE'RE MOVING.
The whole panel terrace collapsed forward into the fray. Wheatley majestically dodged laser beams (somehow) as he was hurled across the room. He landed in a perfect laser-and-fiery-goo-free square. Of course, that didn't mean that there wasn't a giant crusher wall coming straight at him.
The rolling steel teeth hummed hungrily, scintillating coils bearing down upon him. With a guttural cry he zipped upwards, hugging the wall, and he missed the crusher by inches. The crusher dug into the wall below, caving it in to a breaking point. Bits of panel facing and arm were crunched through the teeth and spat out the back in sparking hot shrapnel chunks.
THIS IS INSANE! YOU SHOULD'VE FOLLOWED MY PLAN! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR THIS CONVERSATION.
EVERYTHING WAS NICE AND CLEAN AND NOT ON FIRE!
Her screams doubled as he narrowly avoided a falling piece of on-fire panel, one that could have easily sheered him in two and also set him ablaze.
PANICKING IS WORSE THAN DOING NOTHING!
Logic was the through-street in her mind. She stopped screeching, immediately severing herself from external inputs, and kicked back into her forte. Wheatley busied himself surviving as she tried to wrest control of this train wreck of a chamber. He hopped over lasers and zipped beneath flailing panels; he skimmed over roiling pools of burning goo, and he dodged the maelstrom of flaming material being bounced about by the crusher and aerial faith plates.
OK. Our objective: kill that monster. Where is he? Is he dead? All my cameras have combusted.
On the ceiling.
On the-?
The Anger Core's cat-like chassis was adhered to the remainder of the test chamber's ceiling. His optic was a shrunken slit, and he flinched, none-too-fond of deadly lasers.
Oh.
The Ravager caught sight of his prey, and his optic fanned out to bold red again. He used his great claws to grapple across the ceiling tiles, avoiding the broken and unhinged faces. He dropped down, bouncing off the wall and hitting the trembling floor with a thud. A path to his prey open, he stalked toward them, slinking beneath lasers.
WHAT DO I DO?! HE'S COMING.
Components on the Military Android's frame had caught fire, and tongues of flame added to his deathly slant. Trails of smoke smoldered out from between his panels. Those ear-like spikes and toothy handles were quite ominous in this light.
MOVE!
Wheatley jerked up to move, but he took pause as a loud metallic shriek stole his and the monster's attentions. A quarter of the ceiling gave way and came screaming down, sparks and fire fleeing the wreck as it descended. Wheatley put his pulse array in reverse, speeding until he hit a wall opposite. He watched the mass of debris land squarely on the fleeing Ravager. The android had disappeared in the wreck, swallowed by the smoldering mass.
Oh. OH. Do you-do you think he's dead?
The wreckage exploded into a fireball, billowing up in a great plume.
Probably.
Mission accomplished! Let's get out of here.
If we can.
Of course we can! Just got to do some good ol' figuring and thinking.
At least you're confident.
Wheatley glanced about the decaying chamber, scouring for openings. The new ceiling hole was much too fiery and sharp and generally unpleasant to forge. But maybe… He tried to open an escape route to the most stable side of the chamber, but only more panels collapsed, blocking that way. The floor gave an uneasy lurch, and Wheatley's processors were electrified with apprehension.
YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE.
The crusher had fallen through the floor and was now ripping out of its base, sheering the chamber in two. The ceiling was crashing down, the walls were caving in, and the lasers scattered about were streaking through the air and dicing the panels as they came free. Each shard caught aflame and fed the growling goo inferno in the pits below. Waterfalls of on-fire goo began to spill through the cracks, like molten rivers descending into the void.
I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY POSSIBLE WAY FOR THIS TO GET WORSE.
Hey, do you hear music?
A foot burst through the panels beside him, toes wiggling… no… grasping for him.
They screamed and he recoiled, falling back onto the crumbling panels. The leg flopped around, breaking through the yellowed insulation. An optic leered in; sick tunes blasted through the crack.
"HERE'S LEGGY!" the leg bot hollered at them, laughing diabolically. She cracked the panels, the poor things losing strength and collapsing beneath the might of leg. She cartwheeled (on nothing but legs), and came alongside Wheatley. Another dirty foot reached for him.
"AUGH!"
Wheatley righted himself on his management carriage, speeding away from the leg bot. He kept his core low to the ground as he weaved through the laser fire. He was thankful that the pulse array didn't stress the floor. It wasn't like it could take any more… such as the leg bot's advanced maneuvers that threatened to break the floor's back.
She had no time for cha-cha slides or foxtrots. No, she was down, break-dancing around the laser beams. On one hand it was perhaps the most ridiculous thing to have come to fruition in Aperture Science, on the other, it was surreal and sort of… graceful.
To Wheatley and her? Just another massive headache.
SHE'S DANCING AROUND THE TRAP.
I KNOW!
HOW?!
The leg bot vaulted over a triple-decker laser beam assault, doing the splits as a piece of panel was flung over her handlebars. She swirled up and sashayed menacingly toward them. "You done messed with the wrong hunter!"
Wheatley was out-done. Her fancy footwork had brought her right upon him. He tried to fake left or right, but she was always one step ahead. She threw a pointed kick, judging his perception. Wheatley only flinched, his processes too scattered.
"TOO SLOW!"
She struck the crook of his frame, something metal creaking. A sharp pain elicited through his Feels Array and several warnings cropped up in his systems. He tried to retreat, but the synthetic pain stalled his systems. The leg bot had time to drive a knee into the bottom of his buckling shell, a shock-wave of force threatening to short out his inputs completely. Wheatley was staggered, his camera flickering back online just in time to see her rearing back for another strike. The leg bot flew up and delivered a scissor-kick to his core. He shot back and his carriage whipped after, the counter-weight of the base spinning him like a rope toy.
"You really need to be quicker on your feet, dude… Oh, wait! You don't have any!" the dance machine cackled.
ARE YOU OK?
Wheatley was reclaiming some consciousness after the concussive force of the kick. His frame struggled and would not get up. Suddenly, a message pinged at him. She sent him a panel ID and a command for input.
DO IT.
He didn't ask questions. He just did it.
The leg bot was careening toward him, aiming for a knock-out kick. A panel unfurled from the side wall, slamming into her. The core was shot sideways and into a pit of panel debris and fire. Her legs flailed above the wreck as she sank in, disappearing from sight.
Wheatley was still coming to, but he grunted gratefully at her.
GET OUT NOW.
She sent him more coordinates, and was figuring out workarounds for the decreasingly cognizant panel systems. He attempted to figure out what all this code meant, casting his vision around until he found the proper panels. Alongside a famished wall some panels had detached from the outer housing and fallen across each other, weaving a bridge to the interim between the abyss and the test chamber. If he could get up there…he could begin a climb to the support struts.
It's so…nnngh…so high… How?
Several panels are still operational. Use them to boost yourself up.
Got… it…
Wheatley realized his management carriage had been knocked offline. He jolted the electro-magnetic array and it hummed alive. He managed to right himself and he began to hover forward, taking it slow to avoid hazards.
The crusher was eating through the support super-structure of the chamber fast. The laser beams danced and made patterns of smoke and cinder all around. The goo was blazing in vein-like rivulets. This poor, pear-shaped catastrophe of a chamber was crackling in a colossal firestorm. Above this all, she heard it… a laugh… a very Hispanic laugh.
Oh no…
"Thought I was dead?" the Anger Core slunk in front of Wheatley, blocking the way with his arched chassis, "I never die, you silly girl…" Pieces of shrapnel dangled from his battered body. Something sparked out of one of his joints. His frame was flaming, tongues of fire dancing around like tufts of fur.
Wheatley squinted. "I am not girl!" he pointed out, and tried to hover around the Military Android. A few swipes from flaming claws kept him back, though.
The Ravager narrowed his optic. "Quit playing games. You only have minutes… no, seconds… to live."
Wheatley huffed at him. "Do you mind?" he groaned, "I am trying to leave before we all die…"
"SILENCE!" the cat bot arched his back, and they half-expected him to hiss. "I have waited long for this moment… EIGHTY YEARS have I waited!" the Mexican android sounded even older than that, if that was possible. Maybe it was just product of his crushed synthesizers. "If I go down in this flaming pile of refuse, I am taking you with me!"
"I don't caaaare…" Wheatley moaned, lolling his core about, "if you reaaally have a problem, mate, just take it up with the person you're after! I barely knew… oh, what's her name…?"
Wow.
"You what?" the Ravager's focus snapped to Wheatley. He tipped his core, stance astute.
"Oh, that girl! Whatsherface! She's somewhere… Somewhere in the…" Wheatley paused, thinking of a good spot to put her body for pretend, "…the, uh, um… umumum…the… OH! The incinerator!"
WOW.
"She's…?" the Mexican core sounded very lost all of the sudden. He stepped back, glancing around, very puzzled and reticent as he babbled, "they wouldn't… not MY greatest enemy… how could… no… you're a liar! They couldn't! They… no! It cannot be! No!"
Is he going to cry?
Don't care. Want out. Am tired.
Wheatley was already scooting around the Military Android. It turned out that emotional break downs were great distractions! The Anger Core was so distraught he didn't even notice Wheatley passing.
However, she was starting to think. Hard. Who was this guy? Did she have a previous nemesis? What kind of nemesis? That could explain the dread he struck in her. But what was the reason for such dread? Maybe she should investigate? Maybe not? She didn't know if she had enough capacity to investigate at all. If only she had more control and didn't have to work through Mr. Moron she could properly deal with this nemesis. What if she found a way to save this nemesis for later interrogations? But did she have enough time for that? Probably not. But…
…the unknown was going to kill her.
She was thinking so hard she was forgetting to tell Wheatley how to get out. By the time she realized she was thinking that hard, the situation had changed. Wheatley was utterly consumed in figuring out how to get the panels to lift him up. Unfortunately, this left precisely zero of them aware of what was happening around them.
A guttural breath escaped clenched, metaphysical teeth.
That doesn't sound good.
Something awful stirred in her… and in Wheatley. An ugly snarling poured out of a shaky synthesizer, and plates and bolts began to rattle. Rage was boiling in their direction, more withering than the goo fires.
STAY.
Wheatley looked back. The Ravager's body was lowered, his tail whipping to and fro. The red slit was honed in on him, dilated vibrant crimson. Nothing vaguely intelligent remained… only hate. Wheatley realized at that moment that he was about to be brutally ripped apart by a big mechanical cat.
STAY STILL. I got this.
I REALLY REALLY DON'T WANT-
STAY. STILL.
WHY SHOULD-
I DID THE MATH!
Wheatley paused all his operations. Doing nothing came naturally to him, and he ignored all the self-learned alarms about, well, doing what came naturally to him.
The Anger Core's rage frothed over; the most fell cry of furor escaped his speakers. He leapt and sailed through the air, coming down in an arc of fire, his claws aimed to rend.
A faith plate shot up from the floor and smacked him out of the chamber, clear through a hole in the side. A scream diminished as he flew deep into the mists.
I GOT HIM!
OH! W-wait a minute. YOU USED ME AS BAIT!
And you were very good bait.
I CANNOT BELIEVE-
Wheatley realized that wasn't so important since the floor was actually giving way now, fast approaching falling out altogether.
HELP ME GET THESE PANELS WORKING. They won't go! No matter what I tell them!
That's because-
Another voice took their attentions, "you…"
Wheatley turned, and stared two crispy legs in the… legs.
"You burned… my legs."
You've got to be kidding m-
The Leg Core delivered a roundhouse kick and launched him onto the faith plate's pad. The coiled weight released and sent him flying… right in the Anger Core's direction.
THINK! THINK! WHAT DO WE DO?!
He turned to her channel to seek some wisdom. If anyone knew how to defeat a nemesis it was her! She probably had loads of enemies.
When he turned to her, she screeched inanely at him, her logic whisked away by the rapid airflow around his frame.
Screaming? Very well! Screaming it is!
And they both screamed all the way to their statistically certain death.