The Guys Dig the Fuzzy Chick

Chapter 10: The Sensational Squirrel Girl- Part 2

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel.

Quote of the day- 'Oh, so it was my evil twin all along! Oh, I should have known! Superheroes and evil twins go together like peanut butter and... evil peanut butter.'- Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim cartoon)

Milwaukee-

The Velocity slowly descended from the sky to land in a clearing somewhere in a Milwaukee park. One-by-one, the X-Men began to disembark.

Sharon stopped outside and looked around at her surroundings.

'Any idea where this new mutant is, Mr McCoy?' The young catgirl inquired.

'The Professor said that the girl's mutagenic signature was emanating from somewhere nearby.' Hank explained. 'All we need to do now is find her.'

'Well, that's just grand.' Wanda groused. 'Couldn't the Professor have narrowed down the search a little bit? We could end up spending all damn day here.'

'Now, Wanda...' Hank told the short-tempered hex-wielding mutant. 'There's no need to be like that. People would think that you don't like joining us on missions.'

'I don't mind the missions as such...' Wanda rolled her eyes. 'But why do I have to be partnered with Molly all the time?'

'Because you're my bestest friend ever, silly.' Molly grinned sweetly. 'Gee, I hope we get to fight some bad guys soon! I would so kick all their butts!'

'This isn't a game, Molly.' Hank reminded the young mutant. 'There is no telling what perils we may be about to face.'

'Oh, you worry too much, Mr McCoy.' Sharon scoffed. 'We can take anything that gets thrown at us!'

'It's been too long since I had a good fight.' X-23 smirked eagerly. 'I hope my skills aren't getting rusty.'

'I kinda doubt that, X.' Jamie laughed. 'Fighting skills aren't something you can lose like a pair of socks.'

'Be careful, everybody.' Hank warned the group. 'It is more than likely that Magneto has been made aware of this new mutant as well.'

'I certainly hope so.' Wanda grumbled. 'My father needs a butt-kicking, stat!'

'I wanna beat up that Sabretooth guy!' Molly clapped her hands excitedly. 'He's stinky and he looks stupid!'

Hank was about to say something in response, but thought better of it as he heard a metallic hum.

X-23 shivered as she felt a tingle in her adamantium bones.

'They're heeeeere!' Molly quipped as several metallic globes descended from the sky.

Wanda growled angrily as she saw a red-and-purple figure step out from one of the globes.

'Magneto!' The mutant hex-wielder snarled. 'You've got a lot of nerve coming here!'

'What, don't we get a hug?' Pietro quipped as he stood amongst the Acolytes.

'Oh, I'll hug you, alright...' Wanda snapped. 'I'll hug you upside the head with a big stick!'

'Pietro, that is enough.' Magneto told his son as he turned to Hank and the X-Men. 'Now Beast, I somehow doubt that you will allow me to recruit this new mutant into the Acolytes.'

'Then your doubts would be correct, Magneto.' Beast retorted. 'We are here to have the young girl join the X-Men.'

'Xavier's dream is doomed to failure, you know.' Magneto tutted. 'The humans will never let us live in peace.'

'I'll tell you what's doomed to failure...' Molly retorted. 'You and your stupid helmet!'

The super-strong mutant yanked a tree from the ground and tried to clobber the Master of Magnetism with it. Sabretooth leapt in to defend his leader and ended up taking a tree branch upside the head.

'Heh. Is that all you got, frail?' The feral Acolyte growled, his face forming a twisted smirk. 'You ain't the best at what you do by any means!'

'We'll just see about that, Stinky.' Molly retorted. 'I'm gonna kick your butt all over the park! It's clobbering time!'

Elsewhere, X-23 was talking on her old foe, Omega Red.

'It has been such a long time since we last met. X-23.' The Russian mutant sneered. 'You always were such a worthy opponent. Even if I did always beat you.'

'That's about to change.' The young clone retorted as she unsheathed her claws with a 'SNIKT!'

'You are welcome to try.' Omega Red laughed. 'Come on, try and beat me. I dare you!'

Nearby, Wanda was sizing up with her brother.

'You should have joined us, Wanda.' Pietro mock solded Wanda as he zipped around her. 'Just imagine how much the stupid flatscans will quiver if we would have combined our powers! We would have ruled the world! But noooo, you had to sell out and join the X-Geeks.'

'I am not Magneto's lapdog!' Wanda shot back. 'I can make my own choices!'

'Pity.' Pietro sniffed. 'That means that I'll have to punish you, Father says so.'

That left Hank, Sharon, and Jamie to deal with Magneto themselves.

'There is no need to fight, Magneto...' Hank told the Master of Magnetism. 'Just think what we could amount to if we joined forces! We could make the world a better place!'

'I find that unlikely, Beast.' Magneto shook his head. 'Xavier's dream of peace with the humans is for fools.'

'Very well...' Hank nodded in understanding. 'Then you leave me no choice...'

Hank leapt at Magneto with a growl of anger. Unfortunately, the Master of Magnetism was ready for the attack. Magneto used his powers of magnetism to pull some metal railing from the ground and wrap them around Hank's body.

'You monster!' Sharon growled, quickly turning into her were-panther form. 'If you've hurt him...'

Magneto let out an audible sigh.

'I detest raising my hand against children, but sometimes I must do the things that I abhor the most...'

Magneto ripped a lamppost from the ground and wrapped it around Sharon and Jamie.

'I am sorry, children.' Magneto apologized to the captive mutants. 'But this is nothing personal. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a mutant to recruit...'

Meanwhile-

Not very far away, Molly was trading blows with Sabretooth. The diminutive mutant was a lot stronger than she seemed. Sabretooth was having quite a bit of trouble with her.

'Yer only prolongin' the inevitable, frail!' Sabretooth growled as he ducked a bench that Molly had just thrown at him. 'Give up while ya still can.'

'Never!' Molly retorted. 'I'm an X-Man! We never surrender!'

'More's the pity.' Sabretooth tutted. 'Yer such a pretty frail. It'll be a pity to cut ya up!'

'You're not going to cut anybody up, Sabretooth!' Molly told the larger mutant. 'I'm gonna kick your freaking head in!'

Sabretooth leapt at Molly with a feral growl, only to be dealt a nasty blow to the head with a garbage can which the young mutant was wielding.

'What the frag?' Sabretooth shook the dizziness from his head. 'What was that?'

'It was a garbage can upside the head, you big silly!' Molly retorted. 'Would you like another?'

Molly dumped the garbage can on Sabretooth's head, cutting off his vision. She then followed that up with a dropkick to the stomach, knocking him to the ground.

Molly quickly ascended a nearby slide as Sabretooth threw the garbage can off his head.

'Rrrrr! I'm gonna tear ya to shreds!'

'You have to catch me first, Stinky!' Molly tased as she leapt off the top of the slide, tackling Sabretooth to the ground. Before the feral mutant could even get up to his feet, Molly dealt him a swift kick to the groin, making the psychotic mutant roar in pain.

'That's how we kick butt in the X-Men!' Molly told the almost-defeated Acolyte. 'You pull a knife, we pull a gun! You send one of us to the hospital, we send one of yours to the morgue! (1) That's the X-Men way, you big freaking doofus!'

Molly then mimed shooting Sabretooth with her forefingers pointed towards him.

'Bang bang! Have a nice day!' (2)

Elsewhere-

While the Acolytes were dealing with the X-Men, Magneto took it upon himself to look for this mysterious mutant that they were all searching for.

The Master of Magnetism stopped for a moment and looked around him. He could almost swear that he heard something rustling in the trees above him.

'Squee-chk-chk!'

Magneto looked up above his head and saw a pair of little yellow eyes peering down at him. It was only a squirrel. There was nothing to worry about. The red-and-purple-clad mutant just shrugged and continued on his way.

'Squee-chk-chk!'

Magneto saw another pair of eyes peering down at him. And another. And another! Soon the whole area was full of little pairs of yellow eyes peering down at him.

'Chk-chk-squee-chk!'

Before Magneto could even make a move to defend himself, the hoard of squirrels leapt down from the trees in a cacophony of angry squeaks.

TBC...

Next: The Sensational Squirrel Girl- Part 3

X-23 Vs Omega Red! Scarlet Witch Vs Quicksilver! Catseye Vs Lady Mastermind! Plus... Magneto Vs the Sensational Squirrel Girl!

Author's Notes-

(1)- As seen in the Kevin Costner film, 'The Untouchables'. Here endeth the lesson.

(2)- Fo-ley! Fo-ley! Fo-ley!