A/N: I really hope you enjoy where this is going. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading.
The world stood still. As Cloud soared through the sky, his hands clamped beneath Zack's armpits, he knew he'd left a piece of himself behind - lost somewhere in ShinRa with his dreams of becoming a SOLDIER. He wondered what Soshi might have said.
But I can fly.
Cloud had noticed his back aching as if the muscles had grown ten times too big, but a wing was the last thing that crossed his mind. The aching had peaked on the rooftop, his heart racing in terror, certain a few bullets were about to send him tumbling off the roof. And then it had burst from Cloud's shoulder like a spear, stretching into its true shape in seconds.
It should have shocked him more than it did. In the back of his mind, Cloud wanted to yell, but his instructors had always told him, "When the time comes to panic or take action, to run from the sight of blood or bandage up a severed limb - you'll get the job done. Trust me. Panicking will be the last thing on your mind."
And they were right. Instantly, Cloud had known he could escape.
Midgar spread below them, dusted in morning mist and shimmering with lights in the darker districts. Cloud thought of it like an inverted sky built into the land. Stars among people. If only it felt the same at ground level.
Closing his eyes, Cloud concentrated on his new found strength and the rippling sensation in his back; a rough wave of energy every time his wing beat against the wind-currents. He knew he couldn't go far, not whilst carrying Zack, but for one brilliant moment Cloud considered this a gift.
Zack squirmed in his grip and Cloud felt his arms trembling, fighting to hold on. He opened his eyes and looked down. Zack was flailing his legs, staring intensely at the drop below him as if he believed he might fall the second he glanced away. Cloud tightened his grip, trying to give a reassuring squeeze. Neither of them could speak above the wind, but Cloud wanted to say that he'd never let him fall.
Wind made Cloud's eyes water and chilled his arms, but Midgar was soon behind them and he knew he had the strength to reach one of the mountainous outcroppings. The wasteland proper stretched into the horizon. The divide between Midgar and the wasteland was so severe, divided by a literal wall, that it took Cloud a moment to realise where the buildings had gone.
He flew to the east, his eyes on a narrow pass, and began their decent.
The parched earth looked a lot more solid with each second they got closer and Cloud tried to focus, tried to slow down.
"Careful!" Zack cried, feet treading the air again.
"I'm trying!"
Cloud saw no easy way of landing. How did he minimise his forward velocity with only one wing? "Get ready!" he cried, and let go of Zack a few metres above the ground. He disappeared from sight the second Cloud let go, but he heard him yell in surprise and hit the ground hard.
Cloud travelled forward a few more yards, struggling to pull his feet underneath him and turn his wing out to catch the air. It wouldn't cooperate! He touched land on his tiptoes and only made it a few paces before he lost balance, tripped in a crack and skidded across the ground, hands first.
For a moment, all Cloud could hear was gravel resettling, before Zack started coughing on the dust behind him.
"You alive?" he called out.
Wheezing, Cloud sat up as tremors coursed down his legs. "Yeah," he said, looking up at the strip of sky now so far away. They sat in a gorge. The land rose up either side of them for miles, cut away over thousands of years by a river that had eventually run dry. Different colours patterned the bedrock and boulders blocked parts of the natural pass. Where did they go now?
Cloud tensed, staring into the shadows ahead of him. What if Zack didn't want to go with him? Why should he? Cloud couldn't go back, not without proof that he wasn't a monster, and he couldn't expect Zack to ruin his reputation by helping ShinRa's newest target. They'd probably list Zack as 'abducted'. Cloud hid his face in his hands. What had he done? It was all his fault!
If ShinRa didn't find them, then the Turks surely would. He'd heard about them. Men in suits, deadly and cold-hearted. They wouldn't even let Cloud draw breath to explain who he was, they'd shoot him on the spot. Cloud realised that the one person he needed to confess was now well protected in a medical lab and surrounded by SOLDIERs. Maybe Sergeant Gomez would report his absence, unless this had been the plan all along - to test on him.
Cloud had nowhere to go. He couldn't involve his mother or Tifa, but he couldn't live in the wasteland or in other cities, either. Cloud looked at his unnaturally coloured hands. No one could hide him.
Looking up as his wing, Cloud flexed the tendons, wondering if he could retract it again. It didn't look hopeful. He was a walking beacon, or, technically, a flying one. How long would it take for the Turks or the air-patrol units to find them?
"I'm sorry," Cloud said, not looking behind him. "I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble. I wasn't thinking. I can't take you back but… If I leave you here, at least it'll look like you weren't trying to help me."
"What are you talking about?" Zack whispered. He heard Zack get up to his feet and move closer.
Everything was ruined. Cloud wanted to run and hide and never look back. After everything Zack had done for him, Cloud felt more than grateful. He wanted to go back to the virtual training room and get to the next level, he wanted to go to the noodle bar again and he wanted to have that date. He wanted Zack.
But Cloud realised, too slow, he couldn't trust anyone now. In fact, what if Zack had somehow informed ShinRa of their location! He was bound by duty and honour, after all! He had all the latest gadgets, he could easily switch on a tracking device. Cloud leapt to his feet and turned on Zack, accidentally knocking the latter's hand away. He had been about to touch Cloud's shoulder.
"What is it?" asked Zack, a hint of caution in his stance. Even Cloud couldn't fault him for that.
"I…" He stopped, lost for words. From the look on Zack's face, Cloud no longer feared him giving away their position. Anguish shadowed Zack's eyes and spoke of how much he cared. He cared. Cloud knew he could runaway this very moment, and Zack would let him escape.
"I…" His heart and head both wanted to speak. Both wanted to different things. With a sad smile, Cloud decided it was best to say nothing at all.
He stretched out his wing and bent his knees.
"Cloud!" gasped Zack.
But Cloud looked away, peering up at the strip of sky. He noticed it wasn't tinted quite so green from all the city's pollution out here. With a strong push his feet left the ground.
"NO!"
A solid object smashed into his midsection and wrapped around him in a vice-like grip. They flew backwards, the breath knocked from Cloud's lungs, and together Zack and Cloud hit the dirt. The shock forced them apart and they rolled onto opposite sides of the gorge.
Wheezing, unable to get his breath back, Cloud's eyes watered and blurred. In seconds he felt Zack hands on his shoulders and let himself be pushed over. He stared up, blinking hard to get a clear view of the SOLDIER leaning over him. Blood oozed from several cuts on Zack's forehead and his face was powdered with dust; the dirt already embedded in his long hair.
"You think you can run away?" he cried, voice rough. "Do you think you can just leave me here?" Zack shook his head and screwed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, Cloud noticed his tears like a spear to the chest. "Well you and everyone else! Does no one trust me? Do you think I'm that bad of a friend?" His voice broke on the last word and Zack bowed his head.
"No," croaked Cloud, "you're my best friend."
Silence.
"I don't know what's happening," Cloud said. "I'm not - I'm not hiding anything." He wanted to reach up and pull Zack close. The earth seemed to be spinning beneath him and a tingling filled the back of Cloud's head. They were so close, he just wanted to breach the last distance between them.
"I might be a SOLDIER," said Zack, "but that doesn't mean I won't ignore protocol. I'm sorry that - I'm sorry this happened. Just don't… You can't…" The gap between them grew smaller. "Please…"
Zack lowered to the floor, half on top of him, and they melted together in a fierce hold. A feeling of wonder and remorse exploded inside Cloud's chest. At last! The circumstances were not what he'd dreamed of, and they could only get worse, but they were together. Out of everyone on the planet, Zack chose him.
Cloud smoothed his hands over Zack's shoulders and into his hair, overwhelmed by a feeling of need for this man. He wanted to know every curve of Zack's body and every dream in his head. He pressed his cheek against Zack's and, as his fear dissipated, he couldn't help but laugh - hot tears spilling into his ears.
"I'm sorry," sniffed Zack, his words echoing against the hollow of Cloud's neck. "I don't know what this is, but we'll fix it." He pushed up and looked Cloud dead in the eye. "Something's going on, and I'm gonna find out what. I'm gonna find Angeal, I'm gonna prove he's not a traitor, and I'm gonna help you!"
"But, won't they demote you? Or arrest you?" Staring up into such a determined face made Cloud feel older than he really was. He already knew Zack's answer, and he prayed that nothing would tear them apart.
"I told you why I wanted you as an apprentice, Cloud. First Genesis disappeared, then Angeal, now you're being tested on… But I didn't tell you everything. When you were…recovering a while back, I was sent on a few missions with the leader of the Turks, and sometimes Sephiroth. You probably didn't notice I was gone, but we found a lot of trails that seemed to go no where."
Cloud's face burned in embarrassment. He hadn't noticed. In fact, the weeks during his recovery and coming to terms with Soshi's death had passed in a blur.
"Hojo isn't the only super scientist around these parts. There's another one, he's called Hollander - just as wacky, and he's working with Genesis. I don't know how exactly, but they're playing around with human experimentation and I know they've done something to Angeal - brainwashed him maybe. Genesis speaks in so many riddles though, it's impossible to get an idea of what they want. But Cloud…" Zack's gaze travelled to the wing sprawled across the ground. "I've seen this before. Genesis has one and… And so does Angeal."
"They do?" Cloud rubbed his eyes, drying his tears, and pushed into the sitting position. They remained close and, inch-by-inch, Zack wrapped his hand around Cloud's.
"Cutting out all the crap I went through to learn these things, yes. They do. I didn't think you'd be a part of it but at least you're still here, right? You've not disappeared." He squeezed Cloud's fingers.
"I won't disappear. I promise."
Zack smiled briefly, before Cloud saw misery sweep over him again. He touched Cloud's cheek and the sensation fluttered through his head, like falling through silk.
"Do you know what Angeal said to me not too long ago?" he said. Cloud didn't waiver from his steady gaze, dreading the answer. "He said, 'Our enemy is all that creates suffering'. He meant ShinRa. And then he disappeared, even though I said I'd help him. Thing is, I don't know how I can help… All I know is: SOLDIER doesn't mean monster. It - it can't."
There was a thud behind one of the boulders.
Jumping out of his skin, Cloud almost hit Zack in the face in alarm. They've found us already? They both scrambled to their feet, a black feather brushing past Cloud's nose. He looked up and saw more of them spiralling downward.
"Well, isn't this endearing," said a mirthless, drawling voice. A figure dressed in a cardinal and ash-grey coat rose to his feet. "Legend shall speak of sacrifice at world's end. Quietly, but surely."
"Genesis!" cried Zack, pushing forward. "Are you following me? What's happened to you?"
Even though Cloud had never seen much of Genesis in person - only a few glimpses at his induction ceremony - he could see that Genesis was altered. His red hair and the shoulders of his long, signature coat had been bleached of colour, and it seemed the affliction was seeping down his body. And, just as Zack had said, a glistening black wing stretched from his left shoulder.
Genesis sneered at Zack. "If you still have to ask, Puppy, maybe you're in over your head. I'm not here for you."
A chill sank into Cloud's bones, but he held onto his courage as Zack threw out a protective arm in front of him.
Genesis sighed, as if dealing with Zack was hardly worth the effort. "All that awaits you is a somber morrow, no matter where the winds may blow," he said. "We may be monsters now, even you, Zack, but within that boy resides the gift of the goddess."
Cloud glared at the finger pointing at him, daring him to make a move.
"What the hell are you talking about?" cried Zack.
"I should have been the hero," replied Genesis, "but Sephiroth is instead. Petty, in hindsight. Now, what I want most is the gift of the goddess. Only Hollander can stop the degradation process - only he can save us from being monsters, and he's going to do it with that boy. Cloud, if you'd be so kind…"
Genesis stretched out his arm and wing, as if beckoning Cloud to come and stand by his side. Cloud considered him and his unnatural looks. Whatever was happening to his body was probably happening to Cloud, too. Degradation didn't sound good. Did Genesis know a cure? Was that the gift of the goddess?
"We're not going to hurt you," Genesis added.
"Don't move an inch," said Zack, and Cloud shrank from his hard glare. "What do you think you're doing, Genesis? I told Angeal I'd help, but this - all the people you've hurt… Where's your honour? You're not taking Cloud, do you hear me? You're gonna spell everything out for us, and with none of your damned LOVELESS quotes!"
With a flutter of his wing, Genesis hoped onto a boulder and stared down in disdain. Cloud watched in awe, wishing he looked so magnificent. But he clenched his hands, telling himself to stay strong. Zack would get them through this, he'd figure something out. All Cloud had to do was fight at his side and help him find the truth.
"It doesn't matter," said Genesis. "You'll go to him yourselves. Hollander is in a ruined bath house in Modeoheim."
Zack growled, reaching for his shoulder as if groping for his sword - the one he'd dropped on the roof. "And what makes you think I'd be so stupid as to go there?"
"Because Angeal's waiting for you."
The words hit Cloud as much as they affected Zack. He worried what this would make him do as he watched Zack turn away. Cloud tried to catch his eye, wanting to comfort him and grab his shoulders to shake a smile back onto his face. You can fix this, he thought, you always take things in your stride. No matter how he willed for it though, Zack didn't take it well, especially after what Genesis said next.
"He expects you to honour your promise."
"SHUT UP! You don't know anything about -" But as soon as Zack began, Genesis flexed his wing and took off, feathers falling like snow. "DAMN YOU!"
As Zack raced off to stand in the centre of the feather storm, Cloud felt a lash of pain shoot down his arms and through his fingers. He held his breath and kept quiet. Whatever was going on seemed important and it directly involved him now. Cloud thought about running and going into hiding again, but the fiery aching in his joints told him things were going to get worse for him. Degradation, huh?
Perhaps this was the mayhem Zack had tried to prepare him for. He'd wanted to train Cloud, he'd wanted to his trust and he'd wanted to tell Cloud: something is wrong with our job. He hadn't taken Zack seriously. It had seemed more like stress talking and, really, what did Cloud care about the finer company politics? He had Zack Fair's attention.
Stupid of him.
Closing his eyes, a dark, hollow fear opened up inside. They had to run, and they had to run now. Gathering the rest of his new found strength, Cloud concentrated on moving his wing and began charging at Zack. He thudded into his back, feet already hovering off the ground, and wrapped his arms around Zack's waist.
"Hey, what are you doing?!"
"We're going to Modeoheim," Cloud said calmly, eyes fixed on the winding route of the gorge.
"The hell we are!"
"You need to face Angeal." They streaked between the bedrock, following the dusty trail. Cloud hoped to put more distance between them and Midgar before arching into the clear sky. "And I need to find a cure."
Zack didn't answer, his hands tightening around Cloud's forearms.
"Can you get out your PHS?" asked Cloud. "I'm not sure how to get there."
They sailed the winds for a good few miles before a village came into view. They descended into an empty field and, after a long hour of rest, Cloud struggled and spasmed as he concentrated on retracting his wing. It would take practice to use it properly, and he didn't relish the thought. Pushing it out had felt like ripping open his back, pulling it back in didn't feel any better. But he managed it.
Sweating and shivering, he clung to Zack as they walked onward through the fields.
By night time, Zack announced that they weren't far and would reach Modeoheim by tomorrow afternoon. They found an abandoned barn and decided to spend the night there. Zack wrenched aside the rotting door and bounded inside.
"Woah, check it out!" he cried. "This thing is pretty decent."
Warmth filled Cloud to see some of his usual cheer again. Zack had been brooding all day, not that Cloud could blame him. He followed him inside, listening to bats flutter in and out near the roof. Just as he made it to the back of the barn, a jarring stab of agony went from his head to his toes.
Unable to hide how much it hurt, Cloud strangled a cry of surprise and buckled. In a flash, Zack's arms were around him. Cloud wanted to burst. If his arms hadn't felt severed, he would've have held him back. His skin felt ready to split open like a rotten plum. Even so, Cloud's face burned for different reasons and his overwhelming affection for Zack only made everything seem more hopeless.
"What's wrong?" asked Zack. "Are you hurt?"
Cloud shook his head.
"Don't worry. I've got you, man. C'mon." Half dragging him, Zack helped him to the wall where they sat down. He gripped Cloud's arms as if afraid of letting him go.
They stared at each other. Despite the searing, pulsing discomfort in his body, all Cloud could think about was the rippling, twisting desire in his stomach. With a smile, Zack pulled him between his legs and held him close, chin resting on Cloud's head.
Their bare arms touched like fire meeting wood. Each brush burned like being glazed by the sun and, for a moment, Cloud couldn't move. He clung on as if his will alone would keep them together, keep them safe.
Trembling, Cloud life his head until he was nose to nose with the one person he'd been dreaming about all these weeks. Zack's hand flowed up his back, over his shoulder and cupped his cheek. Heart pounding so hard Cloud wondered if Zack could hear it too, he closed his eyes and absorbed the amazing allure Zack had over him.
A soft kiss met Cloud's lips. Pleasure ruptured inside his head and he smiled at Zack's gentleness. The discomfort in Cloud's joints ebbed away as they moulded together over and over again. He was certain he'd never find anyone else who'd kiss him like this, who'd make it feel like his whole body floated off the floor. Of all the things he'd dreamed of finding in Midgar, this surpassed them all.
Neither of them suffered the cold that night as they lay wrapped in each other's arms.
They should be asleep by now.
Tiptoeing through the corn-stalks, resisting the urge to brush pollen off of her suit, Cissnai peeked inside the barn. Yes, there they were, entwined together and snoring like they hadn't slept in years. It warmed the cockles of her heart. Idiots. They'd been so easy to find.
Her cell phone buzzed in her back pocket. Dashing away from the rotten doors, Cissnai flipped it open. "Hello?" she whispered.
"Cissnai, have you found anything?"
She looked back at the barn, torn by duty and friendship. Perhaps she could confront Zack and ask him what was going on. She found it hard to believe that he was working with Genesis and Angeal. "No sir, nothing to report yet."
Tseng sighed down the microphone. "Keep looking."
"Yessir."
Despite the chill, Cissnai watched over Zack and his friend throughout the night, wondering what she should do. Then she slipped away without a trace as sunlight paled the horizon.